Homeless in about 9 or 12 months

Thank you for your words.
Right now, I have a pretty solid plan on what I'm going to do when the time eventually come. Currently, I'm still walking around searching for a job. Recently filled out a few applications for different places. Wendy's, Carls Jr., McDonalds. Waiting for results. Not sure how well I will do since I do have a misdemeanor theft record on me plus a pretty weak resume since I've never really accomplished much in school and I am still on probation. But just hoping for the best.
Also, speaking to my parents aren't going to help. They're not even giving me a chance. Tried to show them I've been searching for a job but they ended up mocking and bringing me down. Though I'm not going to let that get to me. They're just wishing for me to turn 18 sooner. I do wish to go to college after getting a diploma, but that depends on my situation and financial status at that time. I will most likely take a year or two off after high school to sort my life together, earn enough money then begin persuing colllege.
 
I'm very glad Aspi, you took action and you are planning things, despite of all the problems you have with your parents. It takes a lot of guts - especially at your age. I have also left home early in life, it wasn't easy. I started working in a hotel until was able to save money and get into an University a couple of years after.

Having started working from the bottom has given me great opportunities in life and I can surely say that was actually a good thing. It made me stronger and it build me into a good character person, often said in my evaluation reports as from my first job. There's a saying I like which says that life does not give you more than what you can handle. I have always thought this was just an ordinary quote, but in fact I found that to be quite true.

If my sister had to leave home earlier in life she would never have achieved her goals, according to her. I was led to believe that she got more benefits from my parents because she was a girl and from their perspective, me being a guy made it possible. I don't buy that, I think we all have our strengths no matter if you are a woman or man. At least nowadays.

I trust that with time you'll realize you are also strong and even if you don't live your house, I firmly believe you can change whatever is in the way of becoming a great person that I'm sure you are or can be. Most of us can handle life in a way or another. I can't say I was that good because I always had this need of using substances (drugs) to enable me to cope with the daily stress. You see I was a father at 19 years old. Remarried and had 3 children. My youngest was born when I was around 30, so life for me was always about work and getting into good relationships, but again not all that perfect as I had this impetus of taking opiates and benzos as from my early days, although I'm sober for sometime now.

What I'm trying to say is that things can work out for you, but you need to give you a chance of becoming a better person. You deserve that chance and once this misdemeanor is resolved, I guarantee that you'll be better off without that problem. Whatever you have done, remember that being at your age is magical in regards to resetting things that make you transgress, if that is what you are saying.

I would have given my right hand to go back in time and change some of the transgressions I have made. So do it. You can get over whatever obstacles you think is in the way of becoming a fine person. Just from reading your posts I can already see that you are a good person, so don't improve because of your parents or other people. Do it for you. And years from now you get to be happier with your decisions. It's not easy to change but from my heart I can say it's totally doable.

If you feel you need to talk more about your problems please send me a PM anytime and remember that we are here to help you. So keep posting.

I truly wish the best for you, and please remember that being young can make things difficult but if you do it right you can be whoever you want to be. I know nobody dreams nor wants to live home so early in life, but life is box of surprises (please forgive me for throwing you such a cliché) but it's true. Be the change you need to be to go on, and take full advantage of this upcoming 9-12 months so that you can have a chance of being friends with your parents. That will make things much better in the future, and I'm not speaking only about myself but from experience dealing with this for a long time.

Take care my friend! And please keep posting so that we can help you from distance.
 
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It makes me so sad to see such a young person without a home? I am sure there are charity organisations(there is a number of them in the U.K so there must be in the U.S) that help 16-24yr old so please don't worry you have your whole life ahead of you?
As for me, I am 33 and going to be homeless in a few hours!!
Keep us posted okay and good luck ?
 
Hey!
Welcome to Bluelight.
Why are you going to be homeless?
Feel free if you want to join in and share.
That's usually a bit helpful.

Take care now,
Erik
 
That's what I tried to say, but unfortunately not all parents are like what we wish they could be. I believe the generations before us were even worse and there's nothing we can do other than keep trying to talk in order to make them realize how these things can hurt us. Life is not fair, people are dishonest. We can't feel we are victimized and at the same time resolve our own things. If his parents are like that, what's the point in re emphasizing this fact over and over again.

I'm trying to be realistic here, not at all endorsing his parents behavior, maybe trying to understand, but not at all justifying. Dialogue has been the key for many of our unresolved issues. That's the only thing that can change his parents' plans. There's no use in being mad and disgusted with his parents ways of dealing with their son. But what can you do. Put more wood in the fire, like the old saying. Accept things you can't change, change those you can and move on.

You say this poor kid?? How about; this young man trying to cope and deal with his problems? After all, he was courageous enough to come here and talk about his feelings.

Suggesting that someone is a poor guy and instigate pity doesn't help IMHO. Instead, I believe we should come up with ideas of how to support him and others about how to deal with his parents. Not feeling sorry about him. I would have disliked that entirely. But that is just me.

Upon going back to reread your messages, they had all been edited. I was not able to find your words that I had read earlier. My point was that I did not agree with the tactics the parents were using. Because, I can't find the exact words that you used I can't say with 100% on this, but from what I understood you were in agreement, felt they were justified and made excuses as to why they would kick a 17 year old out.

My intention was not at all to make anybody feel victimized. My point was that you should not let anybody make you feel unworthy. My reason for saying poor kid. Well... 17 years old is a kid. I have a 17 year old. She is still a kid. You are not allowed to vote, not allowed to get tattoos or piercings, not able to buy cigarettes. You still need your parents permission for everything. How is that an insult? In this post it was never stated if it was a boy or girl so poor kid seemed appropriate.

As for you saying this to me: Reason: Maybe you are taking this too personal. He's not you. We already know you can't handle it. Can we move on and help him?
I feel as though you don't like anyone to challenge your opinion. Perhaps an ego thing? I am not sure.
 
I did not edited my messages to delete my opinions, instead sometimes I feel I need to correct typos as I write fast and English is not my only language.

I had merged OP's posts so that multiple posts could all be read in just a few. Not one word was deleted. This is not about me or my ego. I am just trying to uplift OP's own self esteem and I feel you were not seeing my point imho.

I know you mean well but at the end I felt as if OP was trying to get in terms with himself. I am not here to debate, I am always eager to help.

I remembered having mentioned that I didn't agree with his parents throwing him away like that but since it was crystal clear that he believed they would I felt compelled to help OP dealing with the situation, after having suggested a dialogue, and even considered that they just might change their minds. We never know.

I truly did not have any intention whatsoever to make you feel bad, after all I have been in a similar situation and realize how painful these issues can be.

Having said that, I put my efforts in trying to relate with him trying to make her feel capable, despite of the young age and not yet prepared to cope with life so soon.

The messages I merged referred to another OP. I believe you misread the edited posts.

I mean well and stood aside her and others here going through difficult and complex situations in life. I am sorry you feel we are defending different positions. When we can't change the environment, we try to provide options and hope. And I trust we both agree about that.

I have a son and he's almost 16, my daughter is also very young. I have no reason to wish anything but good wishes for OP and also for you.

I am going to take out my comment as I feel that has bothered you. I was just being honest, and I thought we were talking freely.

Take care,
Erik
 
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Hey man, I've been in the same situation as you before when I was 17. It's a very tricky time and the best advice is to focus on building your foundations.

So that is:
- A secure base to call your home
- Financial security
- Employment
- Connections to needed services like education establishments, career advice and training

Don't do what I did and just think it will all clear itself up. I was fortunate that where I'm from I had government services available to me to gain places in hostels, the bad thing about these environments is they usually also welcome people that are well and truly dead in the water and going nowhere in life so it was no easy ride for me seeing the bottom of the barrel.

You NEED, emphasis, NEED and I can't say that any clearer, you NEED to be looking for employment. It doesn't matter what it is, so long as you are guaranteed a wage which you can save. The more money you save for that day when you have to start on your own, the better. I had nothing. I'm not sure where you live or what the rates are like in the US but over here, to secure any property suitable for one person you need at least £1000 so that's say, maybe $1500? And that's cutting it slim, maybe £1500/$2000 would be more suitable and you still aren't breaking the bank with that kinda financial support available. The more the better, if you can save more in that time then set no limits, so long as it's covers whatever the costs are to move into a property followed by at least a month's rent in advance. Your job security will enable you to buy the basics to begin with, yeah it's not pretty but some people literally move into new homes with nothing but a rucksack on their back and perhaps a sleeping bag and a TV. I've seen it done before, you work up to owning things. It takes time but you NEED a home first before you can make your house a real home to live in.

Then you need to think about furniture and whether the property comes furnished or not. Work out what the going rate is for rent in your area or nearby areas. Look into what jobs are available and how rich the job market is. Could you rent a room in someone's house, instead of an entire property? If you can, make sure you have your rights covered so to avoid being exploited out of your money and out of the property. Ensure you have a written agreement bound by law wherever you move to. Then you need to think about bills and living costs, so you need to work all this out. How much it would roughly cost for electricity, gas, water and any taxes eligible. Then for your weekly food, transport costs and disposable cash for things here and there.

Finding secured employment is a must. Or at least finding temporary work which you can keep attending just to save up. Without money you will struggle, A LOT.

Failing that, you need to see what sort of services your government may provide. They may support you with housing but don't wait around for them to say yes or no, find this out right away as I know how upsetting it can be relying on the government to offer you a place to stay for the night and the reality is they can't help. It happens to many people so find out what they can do before it gets to the worst possible scenario.

The worst possible situation is you struggle with everything, in which case, fret not, you can always rely on going back to the basics. Get a tent, sleeping bag and all your necessary life saving tools like cooking equipment and tent spares and find a place to lay low for a while. Plenty of people do it like this when they are desperate and yeah, it's no pretty sight but what else can you do? It's better being under something they being out under nothing. Always have a backup plan. In this case, having a tent and all the basic provisions is such a back up plan. Again, money is key here too so you'll need money to support yourself either way.

To reiterate; job, money, saving up. Save up and don't stop. There is no limit. But there should be a minimum of what it takes to secure a property saved up plus more as a precaution. So say, it costs £1000/$1500 to move into a place and everything be secure then onwards, you will need that available to you at the very minimum, and then some to be on the safer side. So, research into local area or nearby areas, cost of rent and living, property available, support from government available.

I advise focusing purely on your situation. You have plenty of time to get things sorted. Don't focus on anything else other than making sure you can support yourself when the time comes. I have a friend who works in a Chinese takeaway under the legal wage for an adult over 25 and he has saved up and travelled Europe on what is basically a child's wage here in the UK, he pays his rent and still lives okay on lower than the national minimum wage. If there are people out there like him, then you can join them and do whatever it takes to get those foundations built.

This is usually the hardest part of life; securing yourself. It sure was my hardest journey to date but you learn so much along the way. Embrace the journey. It only comes once. It's not going to be easy but nothing ever is, what's important is you believe in yourself, you plan ahead and you put your mind toward providing yourself with the future security you deserve. I'll never forget the journeys I went through at your age. I'm hoping you never faced what I had to go through, I got the wrong end of the deal but I accept the fact that I didn't want to do anything about my situation, but YOU can. And if you do then you'll be on the right track!

Think ahead. Take it very seriously. Homelessness is no joke. Start now, offer yourself to employers, even accept lower wages, accept awkward hours, displeasing jobs. Clean restaurants, work in takeaways, garages, local stores, anything that will get you money in your hand at the end of every day. Save it. Keep saving. I hate to chirp on about money because I'm far from materialistic but the reality of this world is, money is everything. It might not be personally and spiritually but physically at least in this world, it means everything.

All the best of luck man, you can do it.
I believe in you.
 
Fuck. I have screwed up my situation. This Monday, at the school I was supposed to be at, I left at 11:00 sharp without telling anyone. Well, my school session is at 9:00 AM to 11:00 AM. I forgot to tell the teacher because I had a doctor appointment that day. So I went out to the parking lot, waiting for my parents. Didn't want to make them wait so I forgot to actually tell my teacher I'm leaving.. They said because I left without telling anyone, they marked me as a truant. Not only that, I was missing one unit of work, which I just finished earlier today and was about to go turn it in and test tomorrow. Thing is though, the teacher sent a paper saying I'm a truant and I missed some work. So, my dad got really mad. On the paper, it didn't say I was missing from a class or anything, but rather missing work. But my dad saw the word truant and got pissed. I had a history of truancy at my regular high school, so my dad didn't believe anything I say. Told him I was missing some work and was about to turn in tomorrow. He went berserk and said he's not driving me to school tomorrow. I don't mind walking, so that's fine. Told him it's just an accident, but got pissed. He also told me to just leave the house and he doesn't want me there, I'm not welcomed at his household, so I might be homeless soon, if not tomorrow. Situation is dire right now. He's not a rational person. He does everything on impulse and will not overturn a decision. No words will change anything no matter how sweet it may sound. I mean, if I go homeless now, I will probably have to sleep on some park benches for many nights. Yes, being homeless may take away benefits like a warm and comfy place to live and sleep in, but it can open new opportunities and discover new benefits for me. There might be some starving days, but I guess it's part of the experience and journey of homelessness. I brought this upon myself, but I'm not going to regret it because regret is the last thing I want.
 
Hey man, I've been in the same situation as you before when I was 17. It's a very tricky time and the best advice is to focus on building your foundations.

So that is:
- A secure base to call your home
- Financial security
- Employment
- Connections to needed services like education establishments, career advice and training

Don't do what I did and just think it will all clear itself up. I was fortunate that where I'm from I had government services available to me to gain places in hostels, the bad thing about these environments is they usually also welcome people that are well and truly dead in the water and going nowhere in life so it was no easy ride for me seeing the bottom of the barrel.

You NEED, emphasis, NEED and I can't say that any clearer, you NEED to be looking for employment. It doesn't matter what it is, so long as you are guaranteed a wage which you can save. The more money you save for that day when you have to start on your own, the better. I had nothing. I'm not sure where you live or what the rates are like in the US but over here, to secure any property suitable for one person you need at least £1000 so that's say, maybe $1500? And that's cutting it slim, maybe £1500/$2000 would be more suitable and you still aren't breaking the bank with that kinda financial support available. The more the better, if you can save more in that time then set no limits, so long as it's covers whatever the costs are to move into a property followed by at least a month's rent in advance. Your job security will enable you to buy the basics to begin with, yeah it's not pretty but some people literally move into new homes with nothing but a rucksack on their back and perhaps a sleeping bag and a TV. I've seen it done before, you work up to owning things. It takes time but you NEED a home first before you can make your house a real home to live in.

Then you need to think about furniture and whether the property comes furnished or not. Work out what the going rate is for rent in your area or nearby areas. Look into what jobs are available and how rich the job market is. Could you rent a room in someone's house, instead of an entire property? If you can, make sure you have your rights covered so to avoid being exploited out of your money and out of the property. Ensure you have a written agreement bound by law wherever you move to. Then you need to think about bills and living costs, so you need to work all this out. How much it would roughly cost for electricity, gas, water and any taxes eligible. Then for your weekly food, transport costs and disposable cash for things here and there.

Finding secured employment is a must. Or at least finding temporary work which you can keep attending just to save up. Without money you will struggle, A LOT.

Failing that, you need to see what sort of services your government may provide. They may support you with housing but don't wait around for them to say yes or no, find this out right away as I know how upsetting it can be relying on the government to offer you a place to stay for the night and the reality is they can't help. It happens to many people so find out what they can do before it gets to the worst possible scenario.

The worst possible situation is you struggle with everything, in which case, fret not, you can always rely on going back to the basics. Get a tent, sleeping bag and all your necessary life saving tools like cooking equipment and tent spares and find a place to lay low for a while. Plenty of people do it like this when they are desperate and yeah, it's no pretty sight but what else can you do? It's better being under something they being out under nothing. Always have a backup plan. In this case, having a tent and all the basic provisions is such a back up plan. Again, money is key here too so you'll need money to support yourself either way.

To reiterate; job, money, saving up. Save up and don't stop. There is no limit. But there should be a minimum of what it takes to secure a property saved up plus more as a precaution. So say, it costs £1000/$1500 to move into a place and everything be secure then onwards, you will need that available to you at the very minimum, and then some to be on the safer side. So, research into local area or nearby areas, cost of rent and living, property available, support from government available.

I advise focusing purely on your situation. You have plenty of time to get things sorted. Don't focus on anything else other than making sure you can support yourself when the time comes. I have a friend who works in a Chinese takeaway under the legal wage for an adult over 25 and he has saved up and travelled Europe on what is basically a child's wage here in the UK, he pays his rent and still lives okay on lower than the national minimum wage. If there are people out there like him, then you can join them and do whatever it takes to get those foundations built.

This is usually the hardest part of life; securing yourself. It sure was my hardest journey to date but you learn so much along the way. Embrace the journey. It only comes once. It's not going to be easy but nothing ever is, what's important is you believe in yourself, you plan ahead and you put your mind toward providing yourself with the future security you deserve. I'll never forget the journeys I went through at your age. I'm hoping you never faced what I had to go through, I got the wrong end of the deal but I accept the fact that I didn't want to do anything about my situation, but YOU can. And if you do then you'll be on the right track!

Think ahead. Take it very seriously. Homelessness is no joke. Start now, offer yourself to employers, even accept lower wages, accept awkward hours, displeasing jobs. Clean restaurants, work in takeaways, garages, local stores, anything that will get you money in your hand at the end of every day. Save it. Keep saving. I hate to chirp on about money because I'm far from materialistic but the reality of this world is, money is everything. It might not be personally and spiritually but physically at least in this world, it means everything.

All the best of luck man, you can do it.
I believe in you.
Thank you so much for the tips man. I am currently trying my hardest day in and day out, waiting for that phone call from the places I wrote an application to. But nothing. Just nothing. I'm at the point where I'm just so sick and tire of waiting. Tried so many places around me, far away from me, in the mall, etc. but just not even a thought of consideration to hire. It's pretty hard getting a job for me. At least for now, as I really have no talent or anything special. I'm just like the billions of people out there. I made stupid mistakes and I have flaws. But damn, these people won't even pay me some attention to hire.
 
Just looked around online. Saw some post on Reddit 2 years ago with a person that was in a similar situation. The comments said to call the police and ask for emancipation. So I'll try that tomorrow.
 
I got my first job when I was about to turn 18, they were looking for a bilingual receptionist in a local hotel. But I had to send 150 CV's, resumé(s), letters until I got that one. I remember the number because I bought one big box with envelops, and in the box there were 150 units, I used all of them.

I was very happy. I remember receiving my first salary in cash. For me, at that time so much money. A couple of years later I had my daughter and had never stopped working ever since. It seems like a nice story but I worked way too much, had no car, no benefits, I lived with a lot less. What I really NEEDED was willpower. It might seem as a good story for some, but looking back it was not at all that nice. I, and later we, had to live only with the absolutely necessary. We can all do anything when we set our minds to do so. I really believe that.
 
Hello, I'm 17 and am going to be homeless in about 9 or 12 months. I'm a mess at home and my parents are tired of it, so they're kicking me out in about 9 or 12 months when I turn 18. For school, I am currently in an independent school that only requires me to go to their place around twice a week. I am currently looking for a job. In fact, I've been looking for one for a while now, but no luck. So yea. There's no turning back. I lost everything else, all I have now is time. What can I do to prepare for the inevitable? What rights do I have as a homeless? What should I take with me? (SSN? Medicare? Passport? Etc.) where can I go to stay? I live in Los Angeles, California. Talking to my parents apologizing will do nothing no matter how much feelings I put into my words, so this is all that I can do; preparing in advance. Any advice is appreciated. I also have no friends or relatives I can stay over. I'm alone out there.


Fuck man I feel for you fellow kindred soul, I hope you nothing but love moving forward.
 
I don't know who or what that is

People with Asperger's syndrome are like high-functioning autistics. They have a habit of calling themselves "Aspies' which I find gross for some reason, but I'm not gonna argue.

Anyway, if you had a disability, it would mean more options for you (and more needs, obviously).
 
Your Dad sounds incredibly volatile and unreasonable. I'm sorry for that.

I will echo what everyone has said about it being very important not to internalize these negative messages about yourself. Admit when you screw up, take responsibility, make the proper amends or apologies if needed, but always realize that it is completely human to screw up and we all do it fabulously differently every single day of our lives!;)
 
^ Very wise. Perfectly said! :)

I believe we have to try to be who we are and if we fail we have to be courageous enough to admit and recognize it. That's the way we heal IMO. We deserve to be happy at all cost, trying not to repeat the same errors some of our parents have done. And move on. :)
 
Get your GED... Plenty of time to study and pass it. From there uncle sam can put you on the right track. Suggest USAF or NAVY.

R13
 
I once met a kid in my gym (I've written here about him before but couldn't find the old post) that lived out of his car, attended classes at the local community college and belonged to the gym. The gym membership was about $30 a month and it was open 24/7 so he had access to showers, clean bathrooms and a complete gym and pool, sauna etc any time he needed it. He used his car to deliver pizza so he got most of his gas paid as well as getting to eat at the pizza place for free which supplemented his food budget; they also let him heat up his own food in their kitchen when he was off shift. He was a smart kid and very resourceful and had an amazing and positive attitude towards his independence. His expenses were car insurance (liability only on an old car), fees at the community college (very low in CA and includes a bus pass), gym membership, food and entertainment. Needless to say he was a master at finding free entertainment including talking to impressed old ladies like me at the gym.=D
 
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