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TDS Women vs Men -- I need to voice some thoughts

Like people who bitch about minorities and "reverse racism" you are missing the historical ingrained bigotry in society. That doesn't suddenly go away, it takes time. The things you complain about are legitimate but are small fry compared to what women have had to go through and because of that even only subconsciously we are still dealing with it.

That is why going "colorblind" or "sexblind" or whatever is a load of fucking shit and usually always recommended by white christian males. Oh yes it would be great if we started over completely and ignore hundreds of years of history because you start all the way at the top because of it.
 
To be honest I think focusing on past wrongs condemns us to future injustice.

The cold hard truth if you ask me is, there has been systemic, condoned injustice and far worse against lots of groups for an enormously long time, and nothing we do will ever make it right and balance the scales. But our endless and mostly fruitless pursuit of that very goal keeps us trapped in the past and repeating the same patterns. Now I'm not saying we shouldn't strive to eliminate prejudice, inequality, intolerance, etc in it's modern day forms. But I am saying I think we'd all be better off accepting and moving on from past wrongs rather than trying to right what can't be made right. As a general rule anyway.

I don't see us getting past this shit as a species so long as we keep reacting to the past and seeing eachother as different.

I might get some flak for this, but I don't see such a thing as reverse racism. It's still racism the regular way around. In my opinion, if you preference, hinder, or in any way treat one race or any race except one differently, you are being racist. That includes shit intended to advantage a minority race in a field they've been disadvantaged in too. That's still racism. And I'm not saying action shouldn't be taken to fix the problem those ideas are meant to help. I'm saying the action being taken now is racist and I don't agree with racism. And I won't be bullied out of some terror so many have of being seen as racist. I know I'm not racist. Racism is disadvantage or similar against a person or group on the basis of race. If you give undue preference to one race, it is the same as disadvantaging everyone else, and even if the advantaged race has otherwise been subject of disadvantage, I don't see how that makes it not racist. Either you think it's an ok form of racism and some racism can be used to a positive end. Or you're opposed to racism in all forms. Again, I'm not saying we should accept the status quo and do nothing. I'm saying I don't think what were doing now is right.
 
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toothpastedog said:
That is some funny shit.
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I'd be curious how he justifies that belief. Perhaps disadvantaged is a better word. In which case it can't be denied women are still paid far less than men in the same jobs last I checked. That may not be outright discrimination, but it is fixed disadvantage. Whatever the cause.

There's all the domestic violence against women. I admit I don't know but and will withdraw my comment if I'm wrong, but I suspect it happens more to women than men.

We've made a lot of progress, and I don't deny the existence of sexist descrimination or disadvantage towards men. But going so far as to say men are worse off in this way seems like a stretch.

Really though I wish people would stop taking a side rather than just being against sexism and inequality regardless of target. That's what I try to do. I'm female and I've suffered a lot at the hands of male perpetrators, but I won't let that cause me to blindly fight sexism and violence towards women and just ignore all the rampant put downs of men in media, which I think is one of the most noticeable examples of sexism against men. The love of my life is a man, my brothers a man, most of my closest friends are men. Why should anyone have to pick a side? What good comes from arguing which sex is worse off? Why not just fight the sexism we see and not even think about which one is worse off.

I will say this though, in my experience most who identify with the "mens rights movement" seem to spend a lot more time talking about women than men. Specifically how women wrecked their lives and generally suck. What I've seen has left me with a very low opinion.
 
herbavore said:
Hey, thanks for the positive 8(:!=D contribution to a discussion.<3
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I glanced at this thread a while back and was itching to point out the ignorance and basic idiocy of certain former, posts but I missed my chance, unfortunately. ;)

You are a far more tolerant person than I. Much respect. :|<3

Really though I wish people would stop taking a side rather than just being against sexism and inequality regardless of target. That's what I try to do. I'm female and I've suffered a lot at the hands of male perpetrators, but I won't let that cause me to blindly fight sexism and violence towards women and just ignore all the rampant put downs of men in media, which I think is one of the most noticeable examples of sexism against men. The love of my life is a man, my brothers a man, most of my closest friends are men. Why should anyone have to pick a side? What good comes from arguing which sex is worse off? Why not just fight the sexism we see and not even think about which one is worse off.
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This is a good point and makes sense. The whole concept of Feminism is to address these issues regardless of sex. The concept of patriarchy stems from this toxic concept of masculinity which falsely ascribes and attempts to socialise people into a concept of masculinity that is defined as a predatory and domineering facet of 'maleness'. This has caused damage to both men and women in various capacities.

Hence why both male and female victims of violence both suffer under a social system that shames them into submission (albeit by using their roles to allow violent and insiduous means to control them).

Feminism is not about disempowering men (anyone who proports this, is not a feminist but is a bigot who has issues). There is an anima and an animus in all of us. We are not solely defined, as individuals, by our sex alone.

Feminism does a wonderful job of levelling the playing field, for all.

This obviously does not mean that men and women (or those identifying as such; evidenced according to recent research) are the same physiologically, bio-chemically etc. etc. but it means that socially, we all get an opportunity to view each other from a slighty more equal perspective than what social roles have (and often do) traditionally perscribe(d) (and I think anyone with any experience, or any knowledge of recent history knows how much bullshit that entails.)

If an individual doesn't understand Feminism then, you obviously don't have to identify with it. However, I seriously question people who bash something that they don't subscribe to (unless they articulate a valid argument about how it is dysfunctional). By bashing they demonstrate they are personally scared of it; see it as dangerous, or they are emotionally challenged; or both.

There are some lunatic females on the net that hate men and use 'feminism' as a cover to vent their issues - this is nonsense.
There are also males, who use this as an example to negate what Feminism is about and also vent their personal issues - similar nonsense.

Both should be ignored and/ laughed at imho.
 
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alpha_centauri said:
Kid, nothing posted in this thread is misogyny or actually a hatred of women.

Or would you prefer censorship and that nobody writes or questions ANYtHING about gender which silly people with useless PhD.s in gender studies, queer theory, and women's studies all claim is nothing but a social construct?

This topic is about WOMEN. So you became a doormat for some chick you may have banged. Don't come crying to us about it since you are a pussy and take punches, and don't fight back and let yourself be abused both physically and psychologically just because she's a woman.

Stop living in your world of theories and start living in reality. My wife is correct, 'men' like you just pretend to be for women's rights just in the hopes you will get laid.


http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/you-can-be-a-feminist-and-a-sex-worker-8744176.html

http://www.inquiriesjournal.com/articles/28/a-feminists-argument-on-how-sex-work-can-benefit-women
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If the manner of your post is bent on baiting and not asking anything of genuine relevance and pleading 'censorship' while posing arguments that are peurile and have no substance or relevance to constructively assisting the original post then you have the freedom to go on any other of the many forums on TDS that will gladly meet your requirements.

If you want to vent your issues - or are bored. I suggest you go to the 'Vent thread' or any of the other many many threads on BL where your opinion and issues are relevant ( I suggest you aquaint yourself with them - its very easy). There is a difference between whinging about censorship; in an effort to denounce personal culpability, or discernment, ;compared to the reasonable taking of personal responsibility for what is appropriate for the thread you are posting in.

If you have issues you need to get off your chest, then you can start your own thread in a multitude of places on BL that will fit your needs.
There is no censorship but basic discretion and respect for others posts and views on here is a requirement.

If you wish to post on here it is necessary for you to acquaint yourself with the Guidelines to inform yourself of them, if you havent taken the time to do it already.

You can take the time to read the rules of the community here and respect its members.

This is what we all subscribe to on this community - its not a complicated endeavour as many of us are capable of fulfilling this.
If you have an issue with this, i suggest you pm one of the moderators to discuss your concerns.

On TDS we are a community who genuinely assist our posters with genuine concerns.
 
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Incest? It happens far more often to girls than to boys. I love men. I have a fantastic husband. But to pretend that all is well between the sexes is to ignore some very dark shit that is brewing in this country, some of which seems to be showing up here.
 
almostoptimistic said:
...to pretend that all is well between the sexes is to ignore some very dark shit that is brewing in this country, some of which seems to be showing up here.
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^This! This x 1,000!!
You can't read the OP or some of the replies in this thread and not think this unless you are seriously interested in avoiding reality.

Per Zephyr's comment:
In a way, I understand why this thread is here, so the OP can hopefully learn something, but the word salad that makes up the OP's post and certain obvious replies are really pathetic and disgusting.
These are the men I hope are old and die soon. Or, you know...
 
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Why is it always on the guy to hit on the girl and it's like some fucking contest that makes me feel like shit about myself. That's just the way it is I guess. If you are a guy, and you don't do anything, you are never going to get laid EVER. If you are a girl guys will flock to you and you get to choose (like, pretty much, so long as you take care of yourself). There are differences, lol. This is generally speaking but even if you are a very attractive male it doesn't mean shit. Being as physically attractive as I am, if I was female I would have gotten laid in the past year. Easily. Instead, it is the biggest problem in my whole entire life because I am passive natured.. It is such a problem that it has ruined me. I am so lonely I eventually just turned to heroin and klonopin because I could NOT handle it anymore. This is just how things are, I'm not complaining. I'm doped up, or I'd probably freak out and hurt myself. It's way more common with men. Just trying to figure out what the fuck to do.
 
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Generally I think things are easier for women and opression-asaults are too rare thing to be considered a social problem. However I don't see why you are so bothered about it.
 
ShroomySatori said:
Why is it always on the guy to hit on the girl and it's like some fucking contest that makes me feel like shit about myself. That's just the way it is I guess. If you are a guy, and you don't do anything, you are never going to get laid EVER. If you are a girl guys will flock to you and you get to choose (like, pretty much, so long as you take care of yourself). There are differences, lol. This is generally speaking but even if you are a very attractive male it doesn't mean shit. Being as physically attractive as I am, if I was female I would have gotten laid in the past year. Easily. Instead, it is the biggest problem in my whole entire life because I am passive natured.. It is such a problem that it has ruined me. I am so lonely I eventually just turned to heroin and klonopin because I could NOT handle it anymore. This is just how things are, I'm not complaining. I'm doped up, or I'd probably freak out and hurt myself. It's way more common with men. Just trying to figure out what the fuck to do.
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Haha, you are kinda right. But not completely. See, I figured out that you get women easier by being an asshole to them than hitting on them. Of course, I don't suggest anyone to be an asshole, but just saying :)
 
Yeah man. The only times I have any sort of success, are when I'm fucking miserable it seems. I never actually hit on them, but get flirting cues when I'm acting like a prick. Then, I just don't know how to take it from there so I fuck up every time and then I just want to hurt myself because I knew I had a chance and ruined it. It's just weird man because normally I'm a nice guy. I don't get anywhere being nice. And I am totally right!!! Otherwise I wouldn't be shooting up to ward off so much god damned loneliness.

I am done being nice. I am an asshole piece of shit scumbag fucking junkie for the rest of my life. I am done ever being nice to a girl again unless she is my friend.

When I never ever get laid despite my best efforts. When my girlfriend of 5 years ran away on me without even telling me. I don't give a FUCK about being nice to a girl who isn't my friend ever again. I also don't give a FUCK about the men who get laid over me because they know the rules of this stupid fucking game. So you could say I am not sexist, as I just hate everyone. I give a fuck about getting my fix and putting it in my arm, and having enough benzos that I don't have a seizure. You know I was just sick of crying my eyes out all the time being rejected by the opposite sex when I had a crew of bros to chill with. So now I'm a fucking junkie. So there you have it. I'll be dead by 30 and I really don't give a fuck, this little problem literally ruined my life.
 
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Man I was an engineer making 70k and a nice guy, also just a pothead and grower, and in my early 20's with my own car and home and beauty kali mist grow. I thought that would be enough... it apparently wasn't so I started sniffing heroin, just recently graduated to the needle and even worse is my benzo habit I take WAY too many benzos. I don't care anymore. I wanted to get married in my 20's and I'm an old fuck now with chronic pain. I just don't care anymore I wish death upon myself and I hate myself and I want to die.

Thanks though, I will actually check that out and just bookmarked it for when I have my fix later today but I've always never liked dating advice. I feel like it shouldn't be that fucking complicated. Talk to her. Common interests. Ask her out. It doesn't work that way - you say one thing wrong and they stop talking to me without a damn the fuck word why. I don't give a fuck to figure out the stupid fucking game of it anyway, especially when I'm this far gone.
 
ShroomySatori said:
Why is it always on the guy to hit on the girl and it's like some fucking contest that makes me feel like shit about myself. That's just the way it is I guess. If you are a guy, and you don't do anything, you are never going to get laid EVER. If you are a girl guys will flock to you and you get to choose (like, pretty much, so long as you take care of yourself). There are differences, lol. This is generally speaking but even if you are a very attractive male it doesn't mean shit. Being as physically attractive as I am, if I was female I would have gotten laid in the past year. Easily. Instead, it is the biggest problem in my whole entire life because I am passive natured.. It is such a problem that it has ruined me. I am so lonely I eventually just turned to heroin and klonopin because I could NOT handle it anymore. This is just how things are, I'm not complaining. I'm doped up, or I'd probably freak out and hurt myself. It's way more common with men. Just trying to figure out what the fuck to do.
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Seems like these sorts of comments always assume everyone always meets in a bar setting.

Things aren't all roses over on team nodick, sometimes you don't want guys hitting on you, sometimes you like a guy but the same social etiquette tells you not to make the first move. There are plenty of girls who feel too nervous to approach a guy they like. Not to mention all the pressure girls have over their appearance. Also if you ask my mom, after you get old enough if you're a woman society comes to completly ignore you.

Society fucks us all over with these stupid gender roles. But don't think women have everything in their favor. Me and my best friend are panhandlers. I don't hear him getting guys offering to pay them for sex or offering him somewhere to stay to be their boyfriend like I gotta deal with. I've prostituted myself for money for drugs, but it's never been cause I sought it out as a job. Everytime some asshole tried to take advantage of the fact I'm obviously desperate, and sometimes I've been too desperate to tell them to go get hit by a car and die like I wish they would. and the world is full of predators like them. The point I'm getting at, is what you're talking about is due to differences in sexual motivation and drive between men and women, and it isn't something all to women's benefit, far far from it.
 
I'm 46 (male).
Never played the dating game, cause I suck at it.
There are a lot of girls not playing the game for the same reasons we aren't.
If a girl dumps you because you said one thing wrong, it wasn't the right girl for you anyhow. Be glad you found out then and not after several years of an unhappy relationship.
Girls are people too... when they talk to you they feel the same fear of rejection, fear of being not interesting enough, fear of their dirty secrets just being too dirty, as you are.
Don't think you're hopeless in this area, cause, well... you aren't.

I do think you need to address your benzo/heroin problem. Relations tend to get a bit unstable when these drugs are involved.

Wishing you much love,

Vazkor
 
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