Harm Reduction ⫸Should I Try HEROIN?⫷

[Madrus]

Where's the Big and Dandy on everything needed to know for as-safe-as-possible IV use?

 

[kleinerkiffer]

Where's the Big and Dandy on everything needed to know for as-safe-as-possible IV use?

Here http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...EGATHREAD-amp-FAQ-IV-Vs-Flashes-Flags-Ribbons

 

[waffle-head]

I snorted my first allergy bump last night. Matchstick size of #3. faint warm feeling in my bones. Nothing much else. So I'm double bumping tonight and seeing how that goes.
Just snorting. I'm not planning on going any further than this 500mg bag I have. Just wanna know what it's like after snorting.

 

[roxi2873]

All I can say is, if you think you're not going to end up like the millions of heroin addicts who also thought they wouldn't let it ruin their lives, you're wrong. No matter what limitations you put on yourself, saying things like I'll never stick a needle in my arm...eventually, you will. There's probably nothing about you any different than the millions of others people who swore they would never let it get to that point. There's nothing glamorous about sitting on the toilet in a gas station trying to shoot up real quick before someone realizes what you're doing. There's nothing glamorous at all about heroin. The first time I snorted heroin, even after years of snorting 30s and other drugs, I lost any respect for myself I had left. It was the one thing I promised myself I wouldn't do. And I fucking did it anyway... without even a second thought. Literally, the first opportunity I had to try it, I did it. After that, within a year I had lost every dollar, every asset, 90% of the people I loved wanted nothing to do with me. I can't even remember the last time I actually felt high after using it. It's so unfulfilling anymore. I might get some relief for an hour or two, but it's never going to be like that first time again. Eventually there will be days where you legitimately think to yourself that the best thing you can do for yourself and for the few people you have left that still care about you, is blowing your fucking brains out. Eventually you feel so worthless that you're just an anchor drowning everyone around you that cares. When suicide becomes the option that makes the most sense, you might realize how wrong you were. I know I did. And honestly, I was to a point where I wanted to stop for a week just so I could say I died sober...because the drug had so much control over me it wouldn't even let me just kill myself. But I couldn't even do that. If this is the kind of shit you want to go through, because you're convinced you're different then there's no saving you anyway. I may not know everything, but I know there's nothing about you that's so special you think you can play Russian roulette with the most powerful drug on earth and win. Do yourself a favor, and just don't. Chances are, I'll be dead in the next few years even though I'm only 30 years old...because I tried heroin once. If someone sees this and decides against it, maybe my struggle wasn't without vain.
-Ryan

Just thought I'd mention, 2 months after I wrote this, I overdosed on heroin for the first time ever. It literally did kill me for a few minutes. 2 shots of IV Narcan barely brought me back. I was told I wasn't breathing for at least 3 minutes, maybe longer and they weren't even sure if I had a pulse. This is how scary this drug is. It WILL KILL YOU. You might avoid it for a while, but lady heroin always accomplishes her goal in the end if you don't dump her for good. I've been on sub maintenance since June and haven't danced with lady heroin since the day she almost killed me. I don't miss her at all. It's weird I almost predicted my own death. I hope this helps someone make up their mind to not try it.

 

[Transcendence]

I'm originally from suburban MA, ground zero for the current heroin/fentanyl epidemic. Can't count the number of faces I've lost due to opiates, and it always starts out so small and seemingly innocent for recreational users. Other people I know are getting cut off from pain management programs since the crack-down with no alternative but street drugs.

I had to move clear across the country after some deaths hit way too close to home. You'd understand why it's ground-zero if you grew up there. Used to be the literal center of the American industrial revolution. For the past couple decades all factories are abandoned and you can't find a job pumping gas with a college degree. That combined with lack of any healthy recreational infrastructure or anything to do at all, opiates get real appealing when you can't get a job, can't get into a psychiatrist, and deal with winter for half the year.

Anthony Bourdaine actually did an episode of "Parts Unknown" this season in my hometown area, devoted more to bringing attention to the epidemic than the food. He talks to the community and how much worse it's gotten since his days as a young addict chef in 1970's P-town. Depressing.

 

[taargus1]

This question implies uncertainties. Which means one is trying to flow against what one was already sure they shouldn't try.

 

[taargus1]

This thread provides testimony and support for people struggling with this thought which i applaud. Though it also puts the question into minds who might not of ever even thought of this in a way. I guess the fact is the data is here to be found by those asking the question.

 

[Erikmen]

Some people come in here with real doubts whether they should try it or not. They are afraid others nervous. I think at least in a couple of cases this has been effective. It's tough, it's the end, nothing will be great again. True feelings like that tends to make people think. I wish I had read a thread like this before I had tried. People back then just made it even more mysterious for me and that did not work at all.

 

[waffle-head]

I snorted two matchstick bumps tonight and felt relaxed. A tad itchy on my legs. Then I got into a grump after 4 hours. Is that the re-dose thing that people fall for?
I just sat here feeling moody.
I'm snorting #3. I'm going to try 3 x matchstick size bumps tomorrow. I've not got a lot left and aren't buying any more after that.
I wanted to feel something a bit more WOW with heroin, but part of me is glad i haven't.

I've no idea how much i should snort after getting past those 2 x matchstick head sized allergy bumps....

 

[Tinker55]

How about none?

 

[Erikmen]

^ My words exactly.

 

[Erikmen]

I snorted two matchstick bumps tonight and felt relaxed. A tad itchy on my legs. Then I got into a grump after 4 hours. Is that the re-dose thing that people fall for?
I just sat here feeling moody.
I'm snorting #3. I'm going to try 3 x matchstick size bumps tomorrow. I've not got a lot left and aren't buying any more after that.
I wanted to feel something a bit more WOW with heroin, but part of me is glad i haven't.

I've no idea how much i should snort after getting past those 2 x matchstick head sized allergy bumps....

You haven't done it yet. I really hope you this part of you remains glad for a bit longer as this is not something you will simply just forget about imo/e. Perhaps you are different. How great would that be?

 

[waffle-head]

You haven't done it yet. I really hope you this part of you remains glad for a bit longer as this is not something you will simply just forget about imo/e. Perhaps you are different. How great would that be?

*Finally* I got high on Heroin this evening. It took a slowly snorted 50mg line. Yes, I was happy with it, except the trouble I had with my eyes, trying to keep them open and stopping some double vision. It still wasn't as good as some very nice 4FA experiences I'ce had, but yep, I've experienced it, experienced being wrapped up in H's cloud of comfort. Being OK with everything in the world. It was actually a positive experience tonight because i repaired a couple of strained relationships because my levels of compassion and love increased. Still finding it a tad hard keeping control of my eyes, but the main body and mind high is wearing off now. An my ass is itching all over lol.

I've got 50mg left then that's it. Done! There's no way on this earth I could ever afford a habit so it stops tomorrow night with that last 50mg. Hmm, maybe a once a year at xmas thing. I don't know any local dealers so there'sno way I can just end up with some of this stuff quickly, it has to be very pre-meditated act, and that just aint gonna happen.

 

[Erikmen]

^ Good luck with that.

 

[Transcendence]

I've got 50mg left then that's it. Done! There's no way on this earth I could ever afford a habit so it stops tomorrow night with that last 50mg. Hmm, maybe a once a year at xmas thing. I don't know any local dealers so there'sno way I can just end up with some of this stuff quickly, it has to be very pre-meditated act, and that just aint gonna happen.

Please understand that this is the thinking of literally everyone I know without exception who survived (or didn't survive) a serious opiate addiction. You will come across dealers or find other ways to acquire it. You will probably not get addicted this month but life circumstances and the basic biochemistry of opiates will alter your priorities of what you can afford really quickly.

I speak from not just the experience of everyone around me, but personal experience. And just read through the archives of this site. I have seen the same posts over and over, and then a year or 2 later the OP is back lambasting him or herself for being naive. Or worse, they end up in the Shrine.

It's worse now than even 3 or 4 years ago. Fentanyl used to be used to step on H occasionally and you'd have a report of a bad batch in NJ or NY or whatever every few months. Now it seems that not only is most of the supply of east coast heroin cut with fentanyl analogues, often they are just fentanyl. Even forms like carfentanil that were previously only used on large exotic animals or as chemical warfare agents (see Moscow Theater Crisis). Yeah, that stuff is at least confirmed to be all over Ohio and it's slightly over 10,000 times more powerful than morphine.

You can prevent an opiate addiction only when you accept that there is no such thing as long-term occasional use for at least 9 out of 10 people. That cloud of comfort is the artificial triggering of the same endogenous reward pathways that cause any form of satisfaction, joy, accomplishment and drive in humans. I don't like preaching and I'm a hypocrite in a sense, but I'm just so weary of seeing this.

 

[Rachella666]

I tried it 6 months ago, I'm still smoking the shit & can't get off it, I'm gonna try a fentanyl patch in a few minutes & try to kick it again. Only one person knows that I abuse. I'm disgusted with myself

 

[Erikmen]

^ I'm sorry to hear about that Rafaella666. It really makes us said. That's why I find it so amazing that some people read some of these posts and try it anyway. I wish I had tried. Not sure if I would have followed through but at least I'd be more conscious about it.

Please understand that this is the thinking of literally everyone I know without exception who survived (or didn't survive) a serious opiate addiction. You will come across dealers or find other ways to acquire it. You will probably not get addicted this month but life circumstances and the basic biochemistry of opiates will alter your priorities of what you can afford really quickly.

I speak from not just the experience of everyone around me, but personal experience. And just read through the archives of this site. I have seen the same posts over and over, and then a year or 2 later the OP is back lambasting him or herself for being naive. Or worse, they end up in the Shrine.

It's worse now than even 3 or 4 years ago. Fentanyl used to be used to step on H occasionally and you'd have a report of a bad batch in NJ or NY or whatever every few months. Now it seems that not only is most of the supply of east coast heroin cut with fentanyl analogues, often they are just fentanyl. Even forms like carfentanil that were previously only used on large exotic animals or as chemical warfare agents (see Moscow Theater Crisis). Yeah, that stuff is at least confirmed to be all over Ohio and it's slightly over 10,000 times more powerful than morphine.

You can prevent an opiate addiction only when you accept that there is no such thing as long-term occasional use for at least 9 out of 10 people. That cloud of comfort is the artificial triggering of the same endogenous reward pathways that cause any form of satisfaction, joy, accomplishment and drive in humans. I don't like preaching and I'm a hypocrite in a sense, but I'm just so weary of seeing this.

I'm pretty sure OP knows about that. He or she read at least a couple of posts from this thread, and speak like that after having read some of the posts here wouldn't be clever imo/e. It was the second post that made me realize it. Maybe I'm wrong, but time will probably show how things are tough with heroin. There's no illusion here.

 

[imnopro]

If you haven't tried it yet, DON'T! !! Unless, that is, you want to start a whole new addiction. Because the minute u try, u are hooked. Then, even though you will most likely start off by saying "ill never shoot up", you will. And that is another addiction in its self. A whooooole new animal. Just dont do it.

 

[Transcendence]

I'm pretty sure OP knows about that. He or she read at least a couple of posts from this thread, and speak like that after having read some of the posts here wouldn't be clever imo/e. It was the second post that made me realize it. Maybe I'm wrong, but time will probably show how things are tough with heroin. There's no illusion here.

You're right, maybe I misinterpreted now that I reread it. I didn't mean to be harsh. I've just read so many similar posts here with silence and just had to say something. In a way I was it was directed at my past self. I apologize if that sounded overly assuming or judgmental.

I wish I had tried. Not sure if I would have followed through but at least I'd be more conscious about it.

Just out of curiosity, what do you mean by this?

I tried it 6 months ago, I'm still smoking the shit & can't get off it, I'm gonna try a fentanyl patch in a few minutes & try to kick it again. Only one person knows that I abuse. I'm disgusted with myself

It's hardest to forgive ourselves. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You're no less of a person. I know how the feeling of shame, having a secret like this. I was and in many ways am still in the same position. I still remember the day; slipping a high-dose fentanyl patch in my mouth with no opiate tolerance, knowing full well the danger but caring only enough to casually request the one friend present to call 911 if I passed out. After my son died of a drug interaction, I spent many nights combining high doses of benzos and opiates, not intending suicide but feeling disappointed when I always woke up the next day.

 

[Cliffy78]

Earlier in this thread I said hey some peeps can handle it and if u didn't let it take over ur life and could still be responsible then u could do it, well u know what, I'm man enough to say I was wrong. Don't fuck with this shit. I did is cuz it was cheaper than oxy and at first it was, keep in mind I never shot it just sniffed. Well little by little I had to do more and more! It got to the point where I was spending 2k a month, and while I could still afford it I was getting broker but swinging it. Well I ended up goin to detox and then the clinic, by some miracle my dr got me back into pain management and they're weening me off the mdone and gonna switch me back to my oxy thank god. Anyway I'm the happiest I've been since I was a young child and I never thought that was possible. I'm making a comeback! It starts off cheaper but gets to be more expensive mad fast so sont bother! I never shot up and I believe that was my saving grace along with awesome people into life. Dr is weening me off the mdone too fast. 10mg a week so I got some pain and hard times ahead but I've learned a lot. Wish I would've listened to everyone but like most of us I had
To learn the hard way! Trust me if ur thinking about the switch cu it'll be cheaper don't bother cuz it ends up more expensive in a few mths. I woulda saved myself a lotta pain if I listened to erikmen and others. God bless all my brothers and sisters out there in pain, both physical and emotional. Be safe out there!