trancespottingpl
Bluelighter
I'm definitely going to go... I've heard of some people being on methadone and going in there on like a high 100+ mg dose and kicking it with little no WDs. However, this seems suspect as even the two clinics I spoke with stated that you should be on a short acting opiate for 5 days (one clinic's suggestions - the pricey, pushy salesman one) to 3-4 weeks (2nd clinics suggestion - the cheaper but still very professional and totally non pushy one). One place I found was $4k and the other was $7.5k. The $4k seemed less pushy and more honest, the $7.5k the doc was extremely pushy. The $7.5k clinic works with Dr. Mash who is the leading scientist on ibogaine - she's had FDA clearance to study the molecule and has been studying it for decades. She's the foremost expert in this field and the $7.5k clinic is associated with her.
I'm glad the cheaper clinics said 'give it at least 3-4 weeks off methadone and on a short acting opiate' because the vast majority of rehabs, treatment centers, etc. will tell you whatever just to get you in and get your money or insurance. They'll even call your loved ones and tell them crazy shit like that you're going to die tomorrow if you don't get in today. The expensive place told me to come in right away and when I told them that I wanted to lower my methadone dose as low as possible first and that I would come in about 1-2 months the Mexican doctor's tone totally changed.
Anyway, I am planning on going in December maybe early January. I've started already tapering off the methadone since my last post. The last time I got off methadone I gradually went down from 60 mgs to 10 mgs over the course of about 1 1/2, 2 months, then did dope for about a week, and switched to subs - specifically subutex. I took the first 4mg and felt fine but then when they gave me the 2nd 4mgs I went into one of the worst withdrawals I've ever had in my life. I felt like I had been placed in a microwave and I couldn't stop sweating. I'd change my shirt and within 5 minutes it'd be totally soaked. It literally made me so sick and took so much energy out of me that I literally collapsed on the car ride home - only to wake up and be in terrible withdrawals and freezing my ass off. I took like 2 more subutex and it made me feel a bit better by nighttime but I still felt like super cold. I don't know why but subutex/suboxone makes me feel like I have some cold liquid steel coursing through my veins and it makes my stomach feel queasy - I've never been a big fan of them. By the 3rd day, I decided that I might be better off just not taking subs and I stopped taking anything.
Well, over 2 weeks passed of me being sober but I was still having trouble sleeping, still felt hot/cold, and too tired to do anything but too awake and uncomfortable to get a good night's sleep or even a few hours nap. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and I went and got high just so I could finally get some good shut eye. I must've slept like 20 hours.
Needless to say, I ended up back where I started before that 3 month journey of me trying to quit - back to the liquid handcuff clinic and lunchtime/weekend meetings with Mr. Brownstone
I've wanted to quit for good so many times but the w/ds seem just too hard to get over. I'm going to give ibogaine a shot - I have nothing to lose at this point. I've partied with like acid, x, even coke but none of those have screwed up my life. Opiates are holding me back in every way - health, women, career, family, friends, money, etc. I use to be 240 lbs all muscle in high school and college and now I look like a dude from a 90's Calvin Klein heroin chic photo catalog, use to juggle 2-3 different girls at a time - now I don't even really care much for sex, use to have tons of friends - now I have maybe 2 real good friends, and I use to have more savings waiting tables in high school than I do now working a good corporate job. If I put all the money I've spent on heroin and managed it wisely I could probably be semi-retired by now and I'm not even 30. Plus, it's holding me back from really moving forward in my career (amongst other aspects of my life) since I have to make plans based on not getting sick. Money's important but it's not everything - money can always be made and lost. It's more relationships and health - that takes a lot more nurturing than some job or career or whatever. I'm sure many other people can relate to this.
I just hope that with ibogaine it's finally different. I hear it gives you a window to change your life and it resets your receptors so you don't feel the W/Ds as intensely. Till that day comes though I'll gradually be replacing methadone with heroin - sounds terrible but actually I really believe through at least my own experience that my opiate tolerance is actually lower when I'm using heroin only than when I'm at the methadone clinic.
