EADD Heroin Discussion v. XXII -- Brucey Bonus Beetles all round!

[BecomingJulie]

For what it's worth, I managed some sort of sleep-like state last night by means of a lethal cocktail of 20 ml. Night Nurse, 10 mg. Diazepam, 400 ml. hot sweet milky cocoa (watch this stuff; it contains only just enough moisture to digest the protein in it, and will not satisfy a thirst) plus enough solid and weed to keep a small village happy for a fortnight (much of which was eaten, in the form of a hashburger).

Something out of that lot did the business; although I did wake from a dream about having two arseholes. After which, I lay in bed awake tossing and turning for awhile and then must have fallen back to sleep because I was woken up again by the alarm going off. And at least just this once, I was not even drowning in sweat (although I was still genuinely unable to work out whether I was too hot or too cold).

Anyway, tonight's window of opportunity for scoring has long since slammed shut; and Jess rang today with intentions of coming up for a visit, which has given me a date to aim for. I might even see about treating her to a rock or two of crack.

 

[BigG]

I wish I could find something to stop me feeling shit. I just keep having random days of withdrawal even a few codeine leave me rattling for a week (which is a cunt when your in pain 24/7 and have a job that involves lifting). Seeing the pain clinic 4th May.....see what they say..

That whole hot and cold thing is a real bastard. Even though you may not often feel like it I def think going to work helps as it seems to take my mind off it especially if you're working with someone funny who makes you laugh....

Was in agony tonight though so took some codeine.....feel ok now but wds will no doubt acompany my alarm in the morning. Not exactly sure how much more of this shit a person can take but when I find out I'll let you know

 

[Eveleivibe]

yea taking more opiates just prolongs it....

Evey

 

[BecomingJulie]

That whole hot and cold thing is a real bastard. Even though you may not often feel like it I def think going to work helps as it seems to take my mind off it especially if you're working with someone funny who makes you laugh....

Oh, I've been to work. The HVAC has only just been fixed after being les Roberts vers le haut as they say in Paris for a few weeks, so the lousy body temperature regulation didn't feel too out of place.

If you didn't laugh, you'd have to cry .....

 

[BigG]

Oh, I've been to work. The HVAC has only just been fixed after being les Roberts vers le haut as they say in Paris for a few weeks, so the lousy body temperature regulation didn't feel too out of place.

If you didn't laugh, you'd have to cry .....

Yeah but if I'm off sick anymore they're going to sack my lazy arse. Already had a stage 1 absence meeting where I've got to have no more sick days in the next three months or else.........well or else I'm not really sure but I doubt it will be good.

When you spend your day either sitting in a nice warm building then outside....than in a vehicle then out again.....then someone's house......then out again etc. etc. It just make the temp thing even more nasty.....

But your right better to laugh than cry...

 

[gmac]

Alright all ppl on here. So, am just gonna get straight to the fucking point. I've been clean of gear and crack for nearly 5yrs . I miss that banging feeling I used to get from brown, tho it's all shit in UK. I'm tearing my hair out on my shit methadone script, I wanna use, but don't as well, I know that sounds contradictory, but that's where my heads at. I know this will be a stupid question, but fuk it, is there ANYTHING legal I can buy cheap-ish that's as good as the gear from, say, 1999, as that's when I started using and it was banging. Am UK, so generally now, apart from now and again, the gear's shit.
Wtf can I do ??

 

[strungout2010]

I dont think you need me to answer your question about legal highs , you know yourself mate, unless you want to fuck with fent or some other relative nothing comes close to decent gear.
There's plenty of good gear about now ,you just have to find it ( easier said than done ) but it's about , there's still loads of shit as well.
I'm currently trying to tapper off some of the best gear Iv ever had and Iv been using 27 years. Iv finally had enough and for the first time ever decided to to it off my own back without any pressure from anyone else.
My chest is fucked from smoking ( gear ) and I started hitting up thinking I was doing myself a favour. lol. My arms are covered in lumps and my hands look like I've done 12 round in the ring with no gloves.
Although I'm doing things hygienic Iv got a shit technique got veins like pencils and can't register for shit. All in all Iv got myself in a right old fucking pickle.
On top of that I'm getting through ridiculous amounts of gear.first time in my using Iv realised enough is enough. RANT OVER !

 

[gmac]

strungout2010 yeah, I did say it was a daft question, but looking at some of the post's from US user's, they rave about all sorts of mad stuff. Oxy being the primary thing. I hear what your saying about being in poor health cos of using, I'm the same, feet, ankles, arms all fucked, big hole in left side of my groin, two smaller one's right side, swollen feet and I'd still use. The bastard of hunting quality is too much tho. It doesn't last at semi-decent quality either, so I don't see the point in using good gear for a week then back to 6-7 bags of shite a day. I didn't mind when it was quality regularly, but ppl that sell are too fucking greedy, bashing it to the point where there's no heroin in it. I've asked about a morphine script, but that ain't happening. Importing off dodgy websites doesn't seem easy, tho I've not tried, am still on a 3yr 9 license from jail until next year anyway and have been told I'll be recalled for using, so I'll have to wait until it's done next year before I do anything anyway.

Thanks for the reply.
Hope you do it.
Take care lad.

 

[Eveleivibe]

I dont think you need me to answer your question about legal highs , you know yourself mate, unless you want to fuck with fent or some other relative nothing comes close to decent gear.
There's plenty of good gear about now ,you just have to find it ( easier said than done ) but it's about , there's still loads of shit as well.
I'm currently trying to tapper off some of the best gear Iv ever had and Iv been using 27 years. Iv finally had enough and for the first time ever decided to to it off my own back without any pressure from anyone else.
My chest is fucked from smoking ( gear ) and I started hitting up thinking I was doing myself a favour. lol. My arms are covered in lumps and my hands look like I've done 12 round in the ring with no gloves.
Although I'm doing things hygienic Iv got a shit technique got veins like pencils and can't register for shit. All in all Iv got myself in a right old fucking pickle.
On top of that I'm getting through ridiculous amounts of gear.first time in my using Iv realised enough is enough. RANT OVER !

Good luck with getting off hope it works out for you

Evey

 

[strungout2010]

Thanks evey.

 

[Kronos]

Alright BL long time I went into a rehab back in 2014, and been out for a while now, stayed clean but having a go of it today. Stupid really but its been weighing on my mind and y'all know how it is, some days you aint that strong.
For anyone seriously wanting to quit, if you are able to i would highly recommend relocating, its scary as hard as fuck but iv started a new life here, but i love it now i'm settled, appreciating the little things, my health back, my family back, lifes fucking good . Fresh start, noone knows your past or your shit, its a second chance almost.

Like you all know its a battle sometimes, one iv lost today, but its not losing what iv managed to build up which is why i'm kicking myself a bit for having a lapse. It happens though and im focused on how to move forward. Gear is nice, just having a little smoke the missus said she was done if i started digging itd turn into a relapse, and shes right lol
Anyways i'm waffling, how is everyone?
Good to see alot of you still here & especially you chinup, give us a call if you still got my number or PM me

 

[Fug]

Nice to see you around again Kronos

the amount of fent/h that went in your veins I honestly would wince at your posts!

 

[Eveleivibe]

Alright BL long time I went into a rehab back in 2014, and been out for a while now, stayed clean but having a go of it today. Stupid really but its been weighing on my mind and y'all know how it is, some days you aint that strong.
For anyone seriously wanting to quit, if you are able to i would highly recommend relocating, its scary as hard as fuck but iv started a new life here, but i love it now i'm settled, appreciating the little things, my health back, my family back, lifes fucking good . Fresh start, noone knows your past or your shit, its a second chance almost.

Like you all know its a battle sometimes, one iv lost today, but its not losing what iv managed to build up which is why i'm kicking myself a bit for having a lapse. It happens though and im focused on how to move forward. Gear is nice, just having a little smoke the missus said she was done if i started digging itd turn into a relapse, and shes right lol
Anyways i'm waffling, how is everyone?
Good to see alot of you still here & especially you chinup, give us a call if you still got my number or PM me

Oi you. So great to see you. Don't worry about the lapse it's what you do aftet that matters.

Evey

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Alright BL long time I went into a rehab back in 2014, and been out for a while now, stayed clean but having a go of it today. Stupid really but its been weighing on my mind and y'all know how it is, some days you aint that strong.
For anyone seriously wanting to quit, if you are able to i would highly recommend relocating, its scary as hard as fuck but iv started a new life here, but i love it now i'm settled, appreciating the little things, my health back, my family back, lifes fucking good . Fresh start, noone knows your past or your shit, its a second chance almost.

Like you all know its a battle sometimes, one iv lost today, but its not losing what iv managed to build up which is why i'm kicking myself a bit for having a lapse. It happens though and im focused on how to move forward. Gear is nice, just having a little smoke the missus said she was done if i started digging itd turn into a relapse, and shes right lol
Anyways i'm waffling, how is everyone?
Good to see alot of you still here & especially you chinup, give us a call if you still got my number or PM me

The question is, "Did it scratch that itch? Or just make it worse?"

I always found the first bag after a decent break to be a total disappointment because I expected it to feel like it did in the early days - but it never did and probably never will.

 

[Fug]

Yep - never worth the full blown habit.

 

[mydrugbuddy]

Welcome back Kronos. I have to admit i feared the worst about your absence, so am mighty pleased to see you alive and kicking (this one off lapse of a little smoke won't count if it doesn't progress beyond that.:D)

 

[Kronos]

Bang on eve, i'm enjoying this bag, a little break from recovery and i know exactly where it can lead and how easy it would be to go back down there, but rather than beating myself up i'll accept it for what it is and move forward, just got be careful for the next few weeks

Cheers fug aye back then i didnt expect to live this long lol, that fentanyl is fucking evil stuff

FUBAR- i did have another lapse a few months ago with some banging gear, the missus said to me 'you're doing that tonight ya daft little cunt cause if you eek it out you'l end up with a habit again', so i cained it all and spent the next 12hrs being violently sick constantly like the first time i ever did it ugh! I was one of those who gear grew on, first few times i did it when first starting i hated the stuff. This time has been nice, scratched the itch for now, though i know my head will try to have me over sometime (always has been even after a year clean) but it does get easier, the monkye gets lighter and though he might be carrying dumbbells with him for the next few weeks im keeping myself busy enough to be distracted or too tempted

This time got hardly any, iv had a little smoke and its been nice, but this is the last time because we all know where chipping ends up, and if I had decided to have a dig then my head would be obsessed, i loved the needles almost as much as the gear and was never a huge fan of smoking it

MDB the gods must be smiling on us :D good to see you here and sounding well, been lurking every few months and its nice to see how you've turned it around, i remember you being all over the shop a few years back! how you doing on the benzo front?

Love you all man, I love this community anyone got any questions on what rehab or detox is like or owt like that just shoot me a pm
How is everyone else?

 

[Eveleivibe]

It's mad how everyone worries when people take a break from BL. People are allowed a life away from here it doesn't nexessarily mean they're dead.

Evey

 

[mydrugbuddy]

yes, that they must Kronos.

My Benzo taper would look something like a typical year on the FTSE100, with highs and lows all over the place. At least the general overall trend is definitely headed the right way, but my difficulties in sticking to regular hours of sleeping and waking really fuck things up continuously. In order to sort that out i really need to get my stim habits under far better control, and then I'd be able to get up at the same time every day, go to bed at the same time every night, which would make the benzo taper a hell of a lot more straightforward. I guess I must like making things difficult for myself.

This week, ive managed to get up early, which should mean i should feel tired at night, and make it possible to resume the taper, which has gone to pot quite a bit over the last couple of months. I was doing really well up until then. But I feel confident that I can now get it back on course. I think i just need to set myself some strict rules, like no stims after 5pm or something like that. If im still all over the place in a few weeks then I'll have to admit defeat, and join one of the local benzo support groups.

 

[Eveleivibe]

yes, that they must Kronos.

My Benzo taper would look something like a typical year on the FTSE100, with highs and lows all over the place. At least the general overall trend is definitely headed the right way, but my difficulties in sticking to regular hours of sleeping and waking really fuck things up continuously. In order to sort that out i really need to get my stim habits under far better control, and then I'd be able to get up at the same time every day, go to bed at the same time every night, which would make the benzo taper a hell of a lot more straightforward. I guess I must like making things difficult for myself.

This week, ive managed to get up early, which should mean i should feel tired at night, and make it possible to resume the taper, which has gone to pot quite a bit over the last couple of months. I was doing really well up until then. But I feel confident that I can now get it back on course. I think i just need to set myself some strict rules, like no stims after 5pm or something like that. If im still all over the place in a few weeks then I'll have to admit defeat, and join one of the local benzo support groups.

Why not keep the stims to weekends only? x

Evey