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Will the demon ever leave?

V

Vega89

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Joined
Mar 13, 2016
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Hello! I'm a new member but have been browsing BL for a few weeks. I recently quit opioids in Augusta 2015, about seven months ago. I had been doing drugs for 8 years all together. When I quit, I was on methadone maintenance and suffered those WDs for 2 months.
Now, 7 months later I am still clean but the cravings are very annoying to say the least. Some days it's all I can do not to punch a hole in the wall. I've never had anger issues until recently. I haven't relapsed at all mainly because I've come so far- how fucked would that be?
I'm just wondering if I will have the opiate demon latched on my back for the rest of my life? Will he ever shut the fuck up or is this going to be my new normal?
 
Hey Vega and welcome to BL:)

No its not the new normal. They should get less severe and frequent and eventually go away. That's not to say on wont pop up years down the road if we are triggered.

what do you do to deal with the cravings?
 
Cravings will always be around however they get easier to handle and come less frequently. One thing that you can look forward to is that as your soul heals you will have an easier time saying no to yourself.
 
Thank you. I don't do anything for the cravings.. I didn't realize there was anything I COULD do aside from taking an opiate, which is obviously out of the question. I'm pretty strong willed, and I haven't slipped since I quit, but I'm scared that one day I might. I'm just so tired of fighting this all the time.
 
If your cravings are unbearable you may want to try the Vivitrol shot. In the past I've gotten sober but dealt with terrible cravings and would subsequently relapse. This last time I decided to try Vivitrol once out of rehab, and stayed on it for 8 months after. Not only was I finally able to stay sober, I didn't have the hellish cravings I used to. I've been sober for two years now. I have to say my issue was with alcohol, but I have friends who were addicted to heroin and Vivitrol had similar effects on their cravings as well, and they are still sober. The shot almost seemed like a reset, I haven't had a craving since. Good luck!
 
Isn't that naloxone? I was on suboxone for a few months before I switched to methadone. I was sick the entire time before they decided I couldn't tolerate it. I think naloxone is in suboxone so I'm not sure about getting a shot. If it's not the same though, then I'll definitely try it.
 
Naltrexone is structurally very similar to naloxone. If you don't tolerate one well its likely you wont tolerate the other well. And since the shot lasts a month you might not want to risk finding out.
 
neversickanymore said:
Hey Vega and welcome to BL:)

No its not the new normal. They should get less severe and frequent and eventually go away. That's not to say on wont pop up years down the road if we are triggered.

what do you do to deal with the cravings?
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Precisely.
With time you learn to deal with different aspects of yourself.
In my case I changed and I'm not as social as I used to be, but I'm much more sensitive to life's issues that I wouldn't care before I got sober.

Try to do things you always wanted to do.
In regards to cravings I always say if living a day at a time is hard, start living on hour at a time and develop a strategy to deal with this moments.

Having quit Methadone is one super tough thing you've done. It's like developing a new power ;)
You managed to do what most people would normally avoid.
Use that strength you have in yourself not only to accept that life is not the same but to explore what is out there.

If you really find that thing that makes you happy whether this is body jumping, skiing or playing games will - it will definitely make all the difference. Maybe the answer is in front of you.

Good luck!!
Erik
 
cj said:
Naltrexone is structurally very similar to naloxone. If you don't tolerate one well its likely you wont tolerate the other well. And since the shot lasts a month you might not want to risk finding out.
Click to expand...

True - they are similar but not the same. Naltrexone also comes in a pill form, and there are therapies that use it low dose, so it may be possible to test it at a very low dose in a controlled environment and see how you react, building your way to a normal therapeutic dose. If you tolerate it well then get the shot. I'm not trying to push it on you. It was an absolute game changer for my recovery and I honestly don't think I would be alive today without it.
 
Thank you for all the information! I'll ask my doctor about naltrexone and see what he says. I did research it and looks like they both have the same chemical makeup with one being more long acting than the other... I REALLY don't want to get sick again though. That was hell. Not as bad as methadone wd but still hell.

I guess this is the price you pay for self medicating for years.

On an unrelated note, I saw a video about a study done that 'proved' withdrawal was completely mental and the addict only needed to connect with others and the world to bypass wds (even physical withdrawals). I feel a little insulted by that... I find it exceptionally hard to believe a heroin addict for 5 years- or even a year- could reconnect with friends and family and skip being sick. I have a GREAT support system and I didn't get to skip anything. Connecting with people definitely is vital in recovery, but come on, your body is going to be pissed on a chemical level when you quit.
 
I mean that the demon will eventually leave if you do what you need to do to support your recovery, but the possibility that you could relapse if you start using, especially if it is your drug of choice, never goes aways. Doing what you need to is something you learn as you go, no one can tell you exactly what to do, although if you follow through and try what people suggest in SL, you will find what works (and mind you, what doesn't work) for you. With time you will be successful. I see it every day.
 
I've been browsing around and reading everyone's detox experiences, and I'm starting to feel annoyed. Not annoyed at the people, just annoyed at this entire process. As far as we've come in health and science we still haven't figured out a better way to help people with addiction. There just has to be a better way to combat this. Clearly our approach so far isn't very effective.

I think the stigma about drug addiction makes it even worse. Addicts are frowned upon and treated like criminals the majority of the time. That is counterproductive when it comes to recovery.

Our brain is very complex and I truly believe the negative stigma about addiction causes addicts to relapse and feel hopeless. When people throw out horrible statistics, you have to wonder what the point of even trying is. Idk. A little more empathy and compassion from people that don't have this burden certainly wouldn't hurt the situation.

I'm just.. Ugh. I tried to confide in my best friend (who has been clean for years), and she seems to have forgotten how to empathize. Being rude and judging me does not help in any shape or form. I mean wtf, I haven't done anything in 8 months! She acted like I'm already a failure because I'm having a tough day.
 
toothpastedog said:
I mean that the demon will eventually leave if you do what you need to do to support your recovery, but the possibility that you could relapse if you start using, especially if it is your drug of choice, never goes aways. Doing what you need to is something you learn as you go, no one can tell you exactly what to do, although if you follow through and try what people suggest in SL, you will find what works (and mind you, what doesn't work) for you. With time you will be successful. I see it every day.
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Thank you. I guess it isn't called recovery for nothing. It'll take actually recovering lol.
 
I found that if you can get a handle on the mental health piece that is driving the addiction, then the addiction becomes manageable. Alcohol was killing me and ruining my life, however, I absolutely used benzos daily, and would shovel anything else I could get my hands on into my system (pills, Coke, etc). When I was able to get a little time sober after my last stint in rehab, I really focused on my mental health and finding non-pharmaceutical methods to deal with anxiety and OCD. Since finding valid coping mechanisms, I no longer have the desire to drink or use other drugs. Being around alcohol no longer bothers me. The naltrexone was a great tool to help me focus on recovery early on since it removed the cravings. However, if naltrexone isn't something you can use OP, try focusing on whatever is driving you to use and I bet the more progress you make in that area, the fewer and farther between the cravings are.
 
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You probably already know this-so sorry if I am repeating previous advice. You spent 5 years developing habits to support addictions. Now, you are faced with unlearning behaviors, beliefs and coping skills designed to maintain the addiction. Not easy and certainly not going to happen over night. But you will have learn to recognize "addict think" as opposed what you would need as someone who is clean to get through the day. Maybe some therapy-talk or CBT as opposed to just a pill might help?
 
Vega89 said:
I've been browsing around and reading everyone's detox experiences, and I'm starting to feel annoyed. Not annoyed at the people, just annoyed at this entire process. As far as we've come in health and science we still haven't figured out a better way to help people with addiction. There just has to be a better way to combat this. Clearly our approach so far isn't very effective.

I think the stigma about drug addiction makes it even worse. Addicts are frowned upon and treated like criminals the majority of the time. That is counterproductive when it comes to recovery.

Our brain is very complex and I truly believe the negative stigma about addiction causes addicts to relapse and feel hopeless. When people throw out horrible statistics, you have to wonder what the point of even trying is. Idk. A little more empathy and compassion from people that don't have this burden certainly wouldn't hurt the situation.

I'm just.. Ugh. I tried to confide in my best friend (who has been clean for years), and she seems to have forgotten how to empathize. Being rude and judging me does not help in any shape or form. I mean wtf, I haven't done anything in 8 months! She acted like I'm already a failure because I'm having a tough day.
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Yup, it is sad. Getting a handle on the mental health aspect and my mental illness was the turning point in my own recovery (or at least so it would seem, knock on wood :p), so I could not agree more with that statement. Left untreated, mental illness would drag me down to the pits of a hell of my own making (or at least that is how others make me feel about it sometimes, even if I know and, when I'm healthy, feel like it isn't all that simple).
 
Vega89 said:
I've been browsing around and reading everyone's detox experiences, and I'm starting to feel annoyed. Not annoyed at the people, just annoyed at this entire process. As far as we've come in health and science we still haven't figured out a better way to help people with addiction. There just has to be a better way to combat this. Clearly our approach so far isn't very effective.

I think the stigma about drug addiction makes it even worse. Addicts are frowned upon and treated like criminals the majority of the time. That is counterproductive when it comes to recovery.

Our brain is very complex and I truly believe the negative stigma about addiction causes addicts to relapse and feel hopeless. When people throw out horrible statistics, you have to wonder what the point of even trying is. Idk. A little more empathy and compassion from people that don't have this burden certainly wouldn't hurt the situation.

I'm just.. Ugh. I tried to confide in my best friend (who has been clean for years), and she seems to have forgotten how to empathize. Being rude and judging me does not help in any shape or form. I mean wtf, I haven't done anything in 8 months! She acted like I'm already a failure because I'm having a tough day.
Click to expand...

When I got sober everyone expected me to be 100% healed right out of rehab, like nothing ever happened. It was too much pressure, not enough compassion, empathy and support. I relapsed two months later. It took time for my friends and family to understand that being clean doesn't equal being healthy or fixed.
 
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