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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Yeah I have a serious problem. I have no choice but to die. The only problem is when.

D

deadendgame

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 23, 2014
Messages
356
I think you all know my situation and I feel pretty great up in here that I can be anonymous and there is so many bluelighters here to support me. For those of you who don't know me, here is the gist. Went to a shitty grade school, middle school, high school, and college. barely passed my MCAT and GPA, got into a shitty med school due to psychosis, failed out of med school, decided to do drugs, and now i'm at the present day. Honestly, I don't know what I am going to do. There is absolutely no way I can be successful after being hit repeatedly with these problems. All I'm asking is for a few months to get my life together, but it's like I don't even have that. I have sort of a reprive, in that my parents are giving me 5 months to get my life back together. But the thing is I really need more time. I honestly don't know what the fuck I can do because whatever I do, my life is just becoming more fucked up. I don't know if I can go back to school, because I know that shit will hit like a freight train. I don't have enough focus to last an extended period of time, except for simple things like driving I can do. Like what the fuck is happening? I just pray I don't wake up the next day, because honestly that's all I can do. And no matter what method I die, even from natural causes, people are gonna blame me when I did nothing except to better myself and my family. I can't take this fucking shit no more. Can someone plz kill me? I'll give you all of my information. Heck, I will pay you every dime I have, steal it if I have to because I am too pussy to do it myself. Just shoot me in the fucking head. Heaven or hell, I can't imagine a hell greater than this. I did try hard. I even got into med school. Like what the hell do people want from me??
 
no. tried all of that. does not work! meds make me stupid yeah, but I need to get stuff done. thanks for the input though
 
neversickanymore said:
Quit making excuses. Time to sink or swim
Click to expand...

A fucking moderator of the Recovery forums tells someone who is PSYCHOTIC and SUICIDAL this bullshit? What the fuck? How the fuck did you get your position? I can't fucking believe what I'm reading.

To the OP: Drugs are known to worsen psychosis, and may be making your condition much worse. What are you actually taking? Whats your day to day life like these days?
 
Tough love! Lol sometimes its the only thing that works! Isn't OP the poster who has an addiction to caffeine and would not touch real drugs? If so its kind of hard to take seriously. I for one cant understand how caffeine could destroy a person's life. Most posters have real problems and have done so much damage caused by drugs that they are facing jail time, lost their children. Wrecked their marriages or bankrupted themselves. Correct me if I am wrong and have the wrong poster. But if not caffeine problems is like a slap in the face for most of us here. My apologies if I have the wrong OP and am minimizing your real problems.
 
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OP,you are just young.

these things happen,don't kill yourself over some life bs you're going through.
 
I'll try to get a job. Part time. I think I can work 4 hours a day. I can't work 8 hours a day yet.
 
I did meth a while back, but yeah, I been clean for 6 months. Yeah, you're right. I am the guy on caffeine, but you don't understand. I take in a lot of caffeine, like 600 mg a day
 
sorry guys. I was sort of having a bad day, but then again, everyday is a bad day. it's like never ending, I dunno. but thanks guys, I really appreciate it.
 
I'm pretty sure 600mg of caffeine is only 3cups of coffee..and it ruined your life ? I'm pretty sure there's some kind of under lying mental illness here. Though I kinda got lost on what you were saying was wrong. I can't imagine my family thinking I killed myself over caffeine either
 
The internet is a great tool for independent learning. You do not need to believe that going to "shitty" schools or not having the focus for traditional school has to define your education for the rest of your life. Find something you care about and research more about it. Take your life into your own hands. By that I mean everything from the fatalistic story you are telling yourself every day (change it!) to learning how to stand on your own two feet while creating your life the way you want it. People are literally dying over a ridiculously narrow perception of "success". Success in this life is simply being at peace with yourself and your life. Make that your goal and everything else falls into place.
 
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This is ridiculous I am withdrawaling from sub's and to see some one complain about coffee withdrawal wtf?
 
Well, I see that when youbmade the original post, you were typing quite furiously. You'll be alright. Part time job is good. Taper off caffeine. Find something. Enjoy yourself, find a way to support yourself. Be frugal. Work your way up. Can't blame education forever bud. Get some help, see a doctor. Giving up is your enemy, especially right now when you definitley can't afford that.

Much love,

Nix
 
Dtresearch17 said:
This is ridiculous I am withdrawaling from sub's and to see some one complain about coffee withdrawal wtf?
Click to expand...

hahahah =D

Guy has psychosis...i suffered from drug induced psychosis for a little section of my life....i can tell you, if its anything like regular mental impairment the shit is scary and nowhere near fun.

The stuff going on inside your head can be worse than anything physical. Heroin withdrawal sucks...but all you ever hear about is the lack of sleep and pain.What scares me is after the physical issues subside and you have to face the demons you turned to H to run from. That can be worse than every other symtpom of the withdrawal..so dont discount what he's going thru in his head.
 
Didn't even see the part about the caffeine....not to be a dick, but you better have some serious mental impairment, because if your only issue is caffeine i'd be pissed.

Like a poster said above, we're dealing with broken family's, lost jobs, and legal issues. And you're threatening to kill yourself over a double espresso at Starbucks?
 
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