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Anyone else had a codeine addiction?
- Thread starter Eveleivibe
- Start date
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
For anyone currently addicted to codeine, DHC, tramadol etc., if you're thinking of ways to come off the opiates (I'm aware that tramadol isn't an opiate n also contains antidepressant properties, so is slightly different). PLEASE think carefully before considering Buprenorphine. My advice would be to only go down this route as a last resort. There's a lot of risks around why I chose this route (yes, I did ask for it, after doing research) and it was NOT due to a fear of withdrawal.
When people find out that their family member or friend has an addiction, their first reaction is often fear and that they must try and save the person (some call this co-dependency, I call it concern; co-dependency is an issue all on its own and it's not just as simple as trying to stop someone's addiction, I've done research on that too as it's an interesting subject). Anyway they're often scared and try to do everything in their power to try and help the person stop being addicted to whatever they are addicted to. That's what my family did, and I know they loved me and were trying to help, but at the time I felt it was controlling and smothering.
I was trying to taper and that didn't work for me. Some people find that tapering is for them, it reduces the withdrawal affects and isn't such a shock to the system, both psychologically or physically. For me, I can't do this as I'm an all or nothing girl. Tapering, for me, was hugely triggering. Every time I put a codeine pill (the doctor had finally given me pure 15mg codeine phosphate at this time, which my parents were handing out on a daily basis) I felt triggered, as obviously I associated the codeine with the warm, fizzy feelings (which had stopped but I still kidded myself were still happening) and with popping as many as possible. So the tapering was making things much worst.
Although I did experience withdrawal symptoms, my addiction to codeine was psychological. I do have to laugh when people run us down for having an addiction to weak opiates, because EVERY TIME I've describes my addiction and my feelings and fears on stopping, lots of heroin addicts have expressed the exact similar feelings. So does it make them weak too? This is another myth I am trying to explain here. As I've been told on Bluelight many times, the diamorphine I was given during childbirth was Heroin. Well it was THAT high from that, that I associated with codeine when I took my 60mg (2 x 2, 30/500mg). No word of a lie, and people can call me a liar if they so wish to, but the feeling I felt from taking those two 30s were incredibly similar and from then onwards I wanted more of them.... I had been feeling angry for five years solid, angry and bitter at everything and everyone (believe it or not after reading a good co-dependency book, I'll look n add name later, I realised that anger can manifest itself when really you're feeling guilt, and I think that was what I was feeling deep down). Now imagine five years of anger inside you, having this warm fuzzy blanket it's like I was a baby, not wanting to let it go....
Gradually my mind was convinced that I could never be happy without codeine, that I was never happy without it and that I needed and wanted it to function, that without it I'd be miserable for the rest of my life, as I'd been before it (obviously wasn't the case, I had been happy but I'd convinced myself that I had never been happy without codeine)
If you want to go the Buprenorphine route please think hard because you're more than likely to be on it a year. As I've said my parents cut off my supplies, thinking they were helping but they weren't because I'd go out and buy the OTC stuff that contained paracetamol, not do any cwe because my addict brain wouldn't let me do a cwe as dying would be less horrible than losing any of the codeine (this is what addiction does to you, and people laugh because we're addicted to weaker opiates!) Paracetamol can give you liver failure and kill you - I've also been told that this is a horrible way to die as the person is in agony (I can imagine as it's painful just ODing on the stuff). Anyway, at the time I had a really good friend, who had similar issues (looking back we should have stayed away from one another as, at that time, I was in full addiction and I think that I encouraged her to go back into her old ways as she told me that she's become addicted again) she told me she was given subutex (buprenorphine only) and she took this for almost five years, that you take it once a day and you don't crave opiates, plus it's free, obviously as prescriptions are free here ie I don't pay a penny for my suboxone). I thought this sounded like a miracle drug and instantly wanted it. I thought that if I took this, all my problems would instantly be solved; I'd have more money, I would no longer crave codeine, would no longer have to wait in daily for parcels and do the pharmacy rounds; lying about my reasons for wanting them; all would be ace....
In a way yes and in a way no. Since I've been on suboxone, I've put on weight, been on it for almost two years, feel tired all the time, still have to see my key worker, which I'd rather not and still have a dependency. Also I was not aware that you have to let the suboxone stabilise so when I still had major cravings on 8 mg I turned to alcohol. I didn't become addicted to alcohol but I was, at the time, drinking either 2-3 bottles of wine or a bottle of spirit with cola a night (gin, vodka, white rum) so almost had an alcohol addiction. I went to 12 mg suboxone, and believe it or not, it also stopped me craving alcohol as well as opiates. That may be my mind playing tricks on me but it really did have me no longer craving and at the time I lost a bit of weight and starting feeling healthier.
I kind of lost my point with this post really, as I initially wanted to warn of dangers of thinking that buprenorphine is this miraculous saviour when it's not. a tool yes. Before I get any sarcastic post, I am aware that most members of EADD know this but there are a lot of lurkers who I hope will benefit from this information and will hopefully join the site and thus we can help them if they're going through similar. That's why I made this thread, to help people with these kind of addictions as they often seem to be written off as "weak" or "nothing" and there's a lot of people going through hell and so it would be ace if we could help them through it, give them support and let them know they're not alone with this.
If anyone has any addiction please feel free to post here, you won't be laughed at n there is help n support with it. Also, there's a great recovery section on Bluelight, The Dark Side (TDS) and Sober Living, but I'm aware that some people like discussing their addictions on EADD cause of the differences in services etc to that of the States. There's a lot of difference, I've learnt from talking to various people over the years. For instance, the way in which suboxone is treated; here we are allocated a key worker and see a prescribing doctor through them, in the States, they have to find a doctor who specialises in suboxone treatment (after sitting a 8-hour course apparently), pay them a lot of money for consultation, and are given suboxone on a monthly basis. Here, addicts are usually supervised in the pharmacy then are given daily suboxone and gradually take-homes weekly. I remember trying to discuss my suboxone treatment on Other Drugs, and it was a bit frustrating because rather than just discussing it, I first had to explain to the other posters how our treatment system differs so they were able to give appropriate advice. So that's why I'm wanting to give support here with this.
Evey
When people find out that their family member or friend has an addiction, their first reaction is often fear and that they must try and save the person (some call this co-dependency, I call it concern; co-dependency is an issue all on its own and it's not just as simple as trying to stop someone's addiction, I've done research on that too as it's an interesting subject). Anyway they're often scared and try to do everything in their power to try and help the person stop being addicted to whatever they are addicted to. That's what my family did, and I know they loved me and were trying to help, but at the time I felt it was controlling and smothering.
I was trying to taper and that didn't work for me. Some people find that tapering is for them, it reduces the withdrawal affects and isn't such a shock to the system, both psychologically or physically. For me, I can't do this as I'm an all or nothing girl. Tapering, for me, was hugely triggering. Every time I put a codeine pill (the doctor had finally given me pure 15mg codeine phosphate at this time, which my parents were handing out on a daily basis) I felt triggered, as obviously I associated the codeine with the warm, fizzy feelings (which had stopped but I still kidded myself were still happening) and with popping as many as possible. So the tapering was making things much worst.
Although I did experience withdrawal symptoms, my addiction to codeine was psychological. I do have to laugh when people run us down for having an addiction to weak opiates, because EVERY TIME I've describes my addiction and my feelings and fears on stopping, lots of heroin addicts have expressed the exact similar feelings. So does it make them weak too? This is another myth I am trying to explain here. As I've been told on Bluelight many times, the diamorphine I was given during childbirth was Heroin. Well it was THAT high from that, that I associated with codeine when I took my 60mg (2 x 2, 30/500mg). No word of a lie, and people can call me a liar if they so wish to, but the feeling I felt from taking those two 30s were incredibly similar and from then onwards I wanted more of them.... I had been feeling angry for five years solid, angry and bitter at everything and everyone (believe it or not after reading a good co-dependency book, I'll look n add name later, I realised that anger can manifest itself when really you're feeling guilt, and I think that was what I was feeling deep down). Now imagine five years of anger inside you, having this warm fuzzy blanket it's like I was a baby, not wanting to let it go....
Gradually my mind was convinced that I could never be happy without codeine, that I was never happy without it and that I needed and wanted it to function, that without it I'd be miserable for the rest of my life, as I'd been before it (obviously wasn't the case, I had been happy but I'd convinced myself that I had never been happy without codeine)
If you want to go the Buprenorphine route please think hard because you're more than likely to be on it a year. As I've said my parents cut off my supplies, thinking they were helping but they weren't because I'd go out and buy the OTC stuff that contained paracetamol, not do any cwe because my addict brain wouldn't let me do a cwe as dying would be less horrible than losing any of the codeine (this is what addiction does to you, and people laugh because we're addicted to weaker opiates!) Paracetamol can give you liver failure and kill you - I've also been told that this is a horrible way to die as the person is in agony (I can imagine as it's painful just ODing on the stuff). Anyway, at the time I had a really good friend, who had similar issues (looking back we should have stayed away from one another as, at that time, I was in full addiction and I think that I encouraged her to go back into her old ways as she told me that she's become addicted again) she told me she was given subutex (buprenorphine only) and she took this for almost five years, that you take it once a day and you don't crave opiates, plus it's free, obviously as prescriptions are free here ie I don't pay a penny for my suboxone). I thought this sounded like a miracle drug and instantly wanted it. I thought that if I took this, all my problems would instantly be solved; I'd have more money, I would no longer crave codeine, would no longer have to wait in daily for parcels and do the pharmacy rounds; lying about my reasons for wanting them; all would be ace....
In a way yes and in a way no. Since I've been on suboxone, I've put on weight, been on it for almost two years, feel tired all the time, still have to see my key worker, which I'd rather not and still have a dependency. Also I was not aware that you have to let the suboxone stabilise so when I still had major cravings on 8 mg I turned to alcohol. I didn't become addicted to alcohol but I was, at the time, drinking either 2-3 bottles of wine or a bottle of spirit with cola a night (gin, vodka, white rum) so almost had an alcohol addiction. I went to 12 mg suboxone, and believe it or not, it also stopped me craving alcohol as well as opiates. That may be my mind playing tricks on me but it really did have me no longer craving and at the time I lost a bit of weight and starting feeling healthier.
I kind of lost my point with this post really, as I initially wanted to warn of dangers of thinking that buprenorphine is this miraculous saviour when it's not. a tool yes. Before I get any sarcastic post, I am aware that most members of EADD know this but there are a lot of lurkers who I hope will benefit from this information and will hopefully join the site and thus we can help them if they're going through similar. That's why I made this thread, to help people with these kind of addictions as they often seem to be written off as "weak" or "nothing" and there's a lot of people going through hell and so it would be ace if we could help them through it, give them support and let them know they're not alone with this.
If anyone has any addiction please feel free to post here, you won't be laughed at n there is help n support with it. Also, there's a great recovery section on Bluelight, The Dark Side (TDS) and Sober Living, but I'm aware that some people like discussing their addictions on EADD cause of the differences in services etc to that of the States. There's a lot of difference, I've learnt from talking to various people over the years. For instance, the way in which suboxone is treated; here we are allocated a key worker and see a prescribing doctor through them, in the States, they have to find a doctor who specialises in suboxone treatment (after sitting a 8-hour course apparently), pay them a lot of money for consultation, and are given suboxone on a monthly basis. Here, addicts are usually supervised in the pharmacy then are given daily suboxone and gradually take-homes weekly. I remember trying to discuss my suboxone treatment on Other Drugs, and it was a bit frustrating because rather than just discussing it, I first had to explain to the other posters how our treatment system differs so they were able to give appropriate advice. So that's why I'm wanting to give support here with this.
Evey
curious_24
Bluelighter
You make some very good points, Evey. I can definitely relate to the psychological addiction parts. Codeine withdrawal is unpleasant, sure, but it's the mental part that grabs us and refuses to let go. I can also certainly relate to the blissful euphoria that some of us are (un?)lucky enough to get from codeine.
If everyone got the same effects that we do, I can guarantee you that codeine addiction would be taken much more seriously than it is currently.
If everyone got the same effects that we do, I can guarantee you that codeine addiction would be taken much more seriously than it is currently.
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
fightingthetoot
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2015
- Messages
- 330
I haven't fucked with codeine as much as I have fucked with DHC, and I can tell you DHC habit is worse than a smack habit, well at least it can be. The WDs from DHC is brutal really bad actually, seen a lot of woman mostly and some men messed up in a bad way with DHC, there is a pricey market for them, I was getting 120s of a geeza monthly making a bomb of them, and they where great when I never had no smack.
What about codeine lintucs (sp) I have seen that get spoke about, where does that come from, where do you get it??
What about codeine lintucs (sp) I have seen that get spoke about, where does that come from, where do you get it??
curious_24
Bluelighter
Online pharmacies mostly. It's still available, but nowhere near as easy to source as it was a couple of years ago.
I've got a box of 95 30mg DHCs sat here that, like an idiot, I bought instead of codeine. Tried them and I just don't get anything recreational from them.
Will be useful for emergencies though.
I've got a box of 95 30mg DHCs sat here that, like an idiot, I bought instead of codeine. Tried them and I just don't get anything recreational from them.
Will be useful for emergencies though.
breakcorefiend
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2011
- Messages
- 6,017
I agree bout dhc, i don't find them recreational at all, and i end up taking 750mg just to try catch a nonexistant buzz, some people love them though, just like some people get euphoria from codeine, i myself am one of the latter
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
Well I had one horrific experience with codeine last night that has put me off for life (here's hoping).
I'd forgotten I'd ordered a codeine linctin I fdowned the bottle. Was boycotting BL at time. Anyway I figured that as I was on subs i'd need to do this in order to feel any effects. Apart from a slight calm feeling I got THE MOST TORTEROUS itching in my life. It was hell. Never in my whole 900mg a day of necking 60mg tabs, linctus, n+, zapain 30/500, solp max etc daily Zhad it ever Experienced this. People have mentioned itchibf but I had never experienced it.
I was fkn frightened i can tell ya i E-mail FUBAR n MDB begging for advice. I was going to take subs but was afraid of PWD so I had a green tea tab n swigged some JD until I fell asleep.
Why did this happen to me when its never happened before? Was the sub interaction, causing me to be unwell?
PS: please don't merge this with codeine thread as this is codeine addiction n Knock approved this thread. I actually created this before coming a proper member of EADD.
Evey
I'd forgotten I'd ordered a codeine linctin I fdowned the bottle. Was boycotting BL at time. Anyway I figured that as I was on subs i'd need to do this in order to feel any effects. Apart from a slight calm feeling I got THE MOST TORTEROUS itching in my life. It was hell. Never in my whole 900mg a day of necking 60mg tabs, linctus, n+, zapain 30/500, solp max etc daily Zhad it ever Experienced this. People have mentioned itchibf but I had never experienced it.
I was fkn frightened i can tell ya i E-mail FUBAR n MDB begging for advice. I was going to take subs but was afraid of PWD so I had a green tea tab n swigged some JD until I fell asleep.
Why did this happen to me when its never happened before? Was the sub interaction, causing me to be unwell?
PS: please don't merge this with codeine thread as this is codeine addiction n Knock approved this thread. I actually created this before coming a proper member of EADD.
Evey
F.U.B.A.R.
Bluelight Crew
Codeine is notorious for histamine release, which causes itching. Fortunately, tolerance to this side effect builds quickly, but it also drops quickly. Therefore, your tolerance to the itchies, through your abstinence whilst on bupe, has dropped more rapidly than your tolerance to its effects. So now, to achieve the desired recreational value, you need to take more than you would have done before, this has led to an increase in histamine release and subsequent torture... Having said that, I always kind of enjoyed the itchies, for some twisted, masochistic reason...
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
Im kinda like that with tattoos. I part get them because i like the idea of being in pain while its healing, makes me feel comforted. When i was a kid i used to wish I'd break an arm n when i had my herniated disc I'd purposely exercise n make it worst cause people cared then lol I'm strange.
So will I ever feel the warm codeiney glow again n maybe the fact I've forgottenis a good thing? Though the compulsion to have it all was still there.
Evey
So will I ever feel the warm codeiney glow again n maybe the fact I've forgottenis a good thing? Though the compulsion to have it all was still there.
Evey
F.U.B.A.R.
Bluelight Crew
Tbh, probably not. At least not for a very long time, and definitely not while you're still on bupe. You've got to be free of all opiates/opioids for a long time before your tolerance 'resets', and I'm not convinced it ever resets 100%
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
Ive not gone a day without an opiate since June 2012.
I miss natural endorphin. The high from exercise is like no other.
No high from opiates in ages? Good gawd what the bloody ell have have I done to myself. I'm a fkn knobed hahahaha
Evey
I miss natural endorphin. The high from exercise is like no other.
No high from opiates in ages? Good gawd what the bloody ell have have I done to myself. I'm a fkn knobed hahahaha
Evey
F.U.B.A.R.
Bluelight Crew
Yeh, I think you might be right - but its fuckin hard work and no good for a lazy cunt like myself...
ColtDan
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 27, 2009
- Messages
- 24,876
Similar to a phet buzz. just not as good
As any doctor will tell you the sudden taking of exercise can have catastrophic, even fatal effects! Therefore I avoid endangering myself by not taking any... especially when any beneficial effects such as self synthesised morphine substitutes can be safely, reliably and much more pleasantly found in pill form these days.
Sprout
Bluelight Crew
It is in the name, Endogenous Morphine is still Morphine. 
curious_24
Bluelighter
Last August I had a week off, cold turkey. When I took codeine again, I found that instead of needing 600mg each time, I could get the same effects from 200mg.
Fast forward a year and a bit and my sweet spot is now 150mg. Not sure why, but my tolerance is falling and I'm not even trying. If I have any more than 200mg these days, I get that horrible heavy zombified feeling and the mother of all headaches.
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
Codeine addiction brings on headaches. Its actually how some become addicted. But personally if I were taking like 30 solp max for a headache I'd be in the docs worrying.
Congrats, Curi xxxx
Evey
Congrats, Curi xxxx
Evey
F.U.B.A.R.
Bluelight Crew
Is it just codeine you use? Can't explain why your tolerance is falling, but codeine can be a little strange. But in Evey's case she's also on buprenorphine which is a very potent opioid, and all opiates/opioids cause cross tolerance, so she's gonna need a fuckton to get the desired recreational effects - and as codeine has an supposed ceiling dose of 300mg (though I'm not entirely convinced of this) she's very unlikely to get what she wants until off the bupe. Codeine is also notorious for inducing headaches - a paradoxical effect for a painkiller. Evey, apologies for discussing your situation...
curious_24
Bluelighter
Thanks Eve.
Yeah, just the codeine. I don't believe in the ceiling effect as back in the bad old days if I had less than a full bottle of linctus in a morning, my withdrawals wouldn't fully ease. I could feel a big difference between 400mg and 600mg.
I've tried a few other opioids, but never enjoyed anything anywhere near as much as codeine. This goes for DHC, oral morphine, poppy seed tea, kratom and even low-dose oxycodone.
Yeah, just the codeine. I don't believe in the ceiling effect as back in the bad old days if I had less than a full bottle of linctus in a morning, my withdrawals wouldn't fully ease. I could feel a big difference between 400mg and 600mg.
I've tried a few other opioids, but never enjoyed anything anywhere near as much as codeine. This goes for DHC, oral morphine, poppy seed tea, kratom and even low-dose oxycodone.