I have wonderful memories of a 'trip to the woods', which took place atop a large hill/little mountain, in deepest, darkest Wales. This was before I 'came out' as a medium, one of the few occasions I heard a voice and decided to play along and talk to it, rather than justignore it and put it down to the LSD. To my amazement, delight and slight alarm, I found myself talking to (what I sensed and felt was) a powerful nature spirit, surrounded by an intense energy that was both very benevolent, but also intensely evil - no other word for it? These forces were in perfect balance, spine tinglingly intense, and I actually found a little notebook and wrote down the gist of what was said. Apparently he (for it was no doubt male) had many names, had been round for a very long time (had an image of Iron/Bronze Age people and beyond)... he rarely left the 'deep peace' of places like the one we were in, which was very, very far off the beaten track indeed)... and I sensed this was Pan, why I don't know? I felt it was also Cerunnous, the Wiccan god, and this was a very special, precious moment, not to be forgotten or 'wasted'. I quite understand that some may mock, doubt or put it down to a 'townie' like me being overwhelmed by the beauties of nature, and the beauty and power of Liquid Acid, which I don't dimiss myself, all I know is 'what I know and felt', which was fantastic in every way.
I eventually asked why we were talking, as it seemed he made the first move, yet made no demands... and received no worship nor praise, just a load of probably insolent and tiresome questions. I did eventually ask what I should do, and received a 'virtual shrug' , then a load of mental images of trees, oceans and the Earth from space - and the sense of an ecological message, and the intrinsic sadness of this entity at the way things were going and changing. And, I suppose, a feeling I should pass this on if I wanted, and do whatever I could to help nature and dissuade the destructive efforts of man to encroach, destroy and pollute the environment. Not an instruction or command, just a hint that this was the way to go,and the thing to do, for the benefit of myself and mankind in general. And he then left.
This actually did make quite an impression, even though I already knew it made sense. I don't like to use the word 'god', this being was not human, felt very powerful, but also unhappy and somehow 'on the wane'. I have felt a much stronger connection with Nature ever since, rescuing exhausted bumble bees from the pavement on hands and knees without shame, stranded worms, birds, hedgehogs, mice and baby rats, and doing what I can to save trees, ponds and stop local road building - things I never did before. I also did a sketch of the scene, and painted it later on... not sure I can upload it here?
I have also become far more Spiritual and Spiritully aware, culminating in the discovery of my clairvoyance I suppose, and feel much happier and more 'complete' for doing so. As for 'religion', if I have one, is it in a constant state of flux, My greatest Epiphany was the moment I realised and accepted that I was not going to 'discover the Truth' for a long while, probably not in this lifetime, and it was time to just be patient, relax and take things as they come, with a truly open mind, tolerance for others and their opinions, and stick to my personal, essential principle - Do As You Wilt, As Long As It Harm None.
And so I worship no 'god' or 'gods' on a regular basis, but am not above asking for 'help' where and whenever needed, from whatever entity I fancy might assist me. So far I have prayed to, and been most certainly helped by Hathor (who fixed my knee, and saved a nasty operation), Odin (for wisdom, determination and common sense), Thor (for determination in the face of adversity), Mars, Tewes and Aries (spiritual and physical adversity), and Venus/Aphrodite/Freya (matters of love - NB be careful what you wish for, as you just might get it!). Therefore I am not really an Atheist, such prayers to these 'gods' are in my book just prayers or spells (the same thing IMHO) to an aspect of God - who is something far too complicated and remote from humanity to ask for favours, or be bothered, or interested in our tiny, brief lives on Earth. In other words, if it might work, why not give it a try - whether psychologically on my mind, or spiritually in ways I can't understand or explain.... worth a try....?