Before anything; I have to thank you for coming on here and trying to learn about the issue. It's a testament to both your character and your relationship that you are willing to learn and to support your partner.
From your OP, and the history you gave, I would suspect he is still using opioids. If you are truly dedicated to helping him, then you need to make yourself very clear to him. Opioid addiction is insidious, soul-destroying and sorrow-filled, it warps the mind in so many ways and encourages the deceit, the lies and the anger that is so typical of "junkies". Chances are, he has hid his use from you out of fear of losing you - so many people have such starkly negative views on this disease that they will not hesitate on walking out on those they love. I am a Junkie. I have been for over a third of my life. As a result, I have lost so, so, so many people I love, just like many others with this affliction. Eventually, one becomes bitter, you expect people to leave once they find out, you lose all trust for people who claim to care, you become the loneliest person on the planet.
One thing that keeps the cycle going is that opioid addiction in itself functions on one of the most primal levels: pain. It hurts when people you love walk out - opioids are there to cure the pain. It is depressing to accept you are a "junkie", opioids will take that pain away. The shame of doing what is necessary to continue your use? Opiated bliss will help. It is a brutal, self-perpetuating cycle of intense agony.
It is my belief that opioid addiction differs greatly from other dependencies. It takes a very particular kind of person to become a "Junkie". Objectively, opioid intoxication is not euphoric, in the way Cocaine and Methamphetamine are, it's actually quite unpleasant. You are sedated, you itch all over, your eyelids keep drooping, you fall asleep involuntarily, you are intensely nauseated, you can't urinate, you're immensely constipated, you lose all sense of hygiene, lose track of priorities, your senses become dulled and your mind becomes slow. Who on Earth would enjoy that? To me, opioids are so addictive because rather than providing a pleasurable sensation, they allow one not to feel at all. Complete apathy. And to someone in emotional turmoil, it is preferable to be numb. Instinctively, we avoid pain, physical or emotional - it's impossible to experience pain, sadness, displeasure, depression, shame and other negative emotions if you simply cannot feel at all.
I would urge you to try to get to the bottom of your partner's reasons for using, because I firmly believe that it takes an obscene amount of dedication to live as a "Junkie", and to those who continue to use, whatever they are running from is, to their mind, much more agonising than sticking that needle in their arm and risking their very life daily.
I have lost lovers. Countless amounts of money. Weight. Looks. Dignity. Self-respect. My home. Friends. Family. Aspirations and at times; the will to carry on living. However, I continue to use in spite of this, because I'd rather feel nothing at all than the darkness my mind conjures for itself.
You asked about forcing the "cold turkey" method in your post and I can't help but be blunt here, if he has an addiction to heroin/opioids, you cannot "force" anything. If he wants to use, he will use, and he will lie through his teeth if he needs to. Such is the life of a Junkie. The best thing you can do is offer your support and be entirely aware that this will possibly be the hardest thing he has ever faced, and it will be almost as difficult for you. If you try and force him to do anything, it is likely he will feel very negatively towards you, and act as such. By nature of association, if he sees you as the driving force behind the pain he experiences, he will be more likely to relapse. After all, Heroin takes the pain away. But if he sees you as a solid supporter of his actions, if he has the determination to get clean, and if you remain strong for him - the odds of him quitting are much better.
I cannot give experience on "life after addiction" as I have never made it past 6 months, but many posters on this forum have gotten clean and remained that way. You can read their tales at your leisure. Various methods of quitting are available, the "cold turkey" approach is arguably the most painful, and the figures for remaining clean are quite low. However, some will maintain that an abstinence-only approach is the most viable method. It differs in every case. There is also Opioid Replacement Therapy to consider, in which a doctor prescribes an opioid, often Methadone or Buprenorphine, which is taken daily at a dosage which doesn't provide recreational effects, but is sufficient to mitigate the bulk of the withdrawal symptoms. This can be an excellent way to alter other factors in one's life before quitting opioids entirely. Others may suggest tapering his use down over a set period of time to reduce the severity of the WD, by spreading it over a longer period than simply quitting cold turkey. One issue with this is if he is using Heroin primarily, it is next to impossible to know the exact dose he is using given black market narcotics are not regulated. Thus, if he used 500mg/day one week but only used 450mg/day the next, if the second batch is of higher purity, he may be increasing his dose. There is no way to know, but switching to pharmaceutical opioids will allow an exact dosage to be ingested each time.
I wish you and your partner the very best of luck, whatever happens.
TIA
