27.5 days clean, need support, and ideas! Thanks! NO SLEEP

[poligurl]

So how are you doing? Inbox me if you need further help with your sobriety. I had a lot of mental issues regarding the chemicals re-balancing and I was challenged. Regardless, I have spent 8.2 weeks clean! I sure hope you are well. I had 3 funerals lately and haven't had a chance to check this board!

Sending your body healing vibes!

Heather

 

[poligurl]

How are you now? Were you able to get past insomnia? I did, I thought. Now it comes and goes, some nights I sleep like a baby - some nights, and nights, and nights I do not. This results in even my digestive system acting up because I hear you digest a lot in your sleep.

 

[myloveishim]

You're doing great girl. Keep up that positive look!! You know how to get a hold of me should you need or want to. Always there. I don't think I'll ever forget the smell, taste etc. I just got an infinity symbol tattoo yesterday to remind me of my Infinite struggle with this disease and to remind myself to never ever give up fighting it!! ?

 

[totach]

Hey poli thanx so much for your update I am so glad you are doing so well
I am doing pretty good myself I can sleep enough to be satisfied with
I hope you keep up the amazing work and look forward to more positive updates
All the best

 

[poligurl]

I'm having problems with motivation, lethargy, productivity and being social. When I get outside I feel very good, it's getting to that point that is a problem. I don't feel a fried as I did in the beginning and am starting to get in gear. I had the advantage to take some serious time off of work. I have been trying to quit for many years and this time I wanted to be successful.

For me work is the biggest trigger in that I can be a very functional user, and become a workaholic, take on way too much responsibility, then use to cope with the stress. Did that many times and would always lose control. So I socked away almost all the money I made last year to take time to recover. I didn't get in this mess in a few weeks or a month, so I figured take some months to get myself right. Which was necessary.

I'm now at the longest stretch of sobriety in my life and am learning to cope/sleep/live naturally. I have never felt so capable and good, but am still having the above mentioned issues.
I give people who do this, and are successful while working/raising a family all the credit in the world because I couldn't do it. So many strong great people on this site and they have been the biggest help for me.

Hope everything is going well for you and hope your pipes stay flowing until spring

Hey David,

Thanks for posting. I feel like you're saying what my mind wouldn't, what I didn't notice amongst all the other symptoms when you say that work is a HUGE trigger! I didn't realize until I read this. I'm one of those "fixers," and I can help anyone type of people. I think back at all the doubles I could pull if I ate a bunch of pills (which got me in the suboxone rut), and I could be SUPERWOMAN. Now I'm half the "man" I used to be because I have to "feel" the pain, and tiredness. That natural tiredness I try not to mix up with withdrawal symptoms. I really think this can keep going on, not in your head - traumatic, real, withdrawals drag on. Day 79 and I can feel it today but for 14 days felt brand new. The sneezing, tired, motivational issues, lethargy, not being social you speak of all came back full force. Hang in there, I truly think one day we will be all done! What day are you on now? Do you keep track? Sometimes I think keeping track is punishing my mind, and other times I feel it's a great way to keep up with an amazing accomplishment. Great to hear from you, take care - stay strong

 

[poligurl]

Hey poli thanx so much for your update I am so glad you are doing so well
I am doing pretty good myself I can sleep enough to be satisfied with
I hope you keep up the amazing work and look forward to more positive updates
All the best

Hey totach,

How are you? Glad you can sleep! It has to be much better. Do you feel like your mind is playing tricks on you and your body still goes through stuff, or are you over the hump of the worst PAWS? My thoughts are with you all. Day 79 and I'm thinking about you all more than ever - as 90 days approaches and I think of what I went through with sometimes only your threads to read, I just am compelled to come check on you My busy life is a huge trigger, but you guys are a constant that I hadn't known existed before.

-Heather

 

[poligurl]

You're doing great girl. Keep up that positive look!! You know how to get a hold of me should you need or want to. Always there. I don't think I'll ever forget the smell, taste etc. I just got an infinity symbol tattoo yesterday to remind me of my Infinite struggle with this disease and to remind myself to never ever give up fighting it!! 

That is a really cool idea, that tattoo will keep you strong. Very cool, very cool! You're an inspiration!!

 

[poligurl]

Hey...I have to tell you something that has really changed the recovery game for me.....power of your mind. Hives are from stress...mental stress. If you can begin by telling yourself they will go away, fake believing at first and with continued positive self talk you will truly begin believing they are brought on by mental stress and you can think through them. Sounds silly....some say no way that's too simple. However, if it was simple everyone would agree because they would have conquered it themselves. The power of the mind is everything!! I was snorting/smoking pure white powdered fentanyl for 7 years never missed a day...not one day! I believed I could be a father, have a successful career and relationship...and get high every day...I believed it in my mind and I did it! On January 19th of this year I was sick of it! I made a choice on my own (well my very spirit was tired!) to quit. It was a choice that I realized I get to make!!! Same goes for sobriety and withdrawal symptoms. The movie The Secret (or book or audio) is very accurate. Also all natural supps are essential! The following helped with all symptoms: Melatonin (will truly put you to sleep more importantly KEEP you asleep without drowsiness!! L-tyrosine (produces dopamine which is motivation and mental energy) Passionflower (relieved physical stress and anxiety) copper, B complex, 5 HTP, and WATER WATER WATER!!! more water than you think you need! Also....I've gotten 4 other people off opiates with this program! No benzos, no subs...no meds from the doc!! I will promise you this....all of this will help but most importantly you must Absolutly believe!!

Thank you so much for your post. I had been handling everything but the copper, 5 HTP, and you are not kidding about that water, ey? I drink so much water - I lost weight then gained it in inches until that water bloat was worked off via exercise. Wow was I out of shape! Exercising is a huge mental booster for me, I forgot that's also a trigger. I want to take 5 viks and work out longer. Had to really watch that reminder. As I work out too, I can sometimes taste opiates - as if I'm tasting them leave my body. How vikodin used to taste even though I was w/d off of years of suboxone use. I feel this withdrawal off suboxone was worse than pills, opiates, etc. I give you so many props and I keep you on my mind being that strong off of something like fentynol. That's amazing, you are a boss! Stay that way.

Thanks again for the post, I feel strength from you all (always).

-Heather

 

[poligurl]

Stick with it you are doing great and right where you need to be at this time, the sleeping does get better, it all gets better with time, just work through a day at a time and expect to have bad days, it's part of it.

Truly part of it, you weren't kidding. Instead of only embrasing the bad days, and only "noticing the bad days," now I make a point to notice the good ones. I recognize a good day for once, it's getting better. There are more good days than bad. However, I find it useful to fully embrace the bad days so that I never forget. I don't ever want to forget that suffering and relapse to the point of no return. Can you imagine, I'm 29 complaining - some of y'all have (no offense to be put out there), older bodies and feel harder pain. I think someone in their 30's has it easier as far as surviving this than a battered by life (truly), 60 year old body! Don't you think? And they survive this! You guys are amazing, and I can't thank you enough.

-Heather

 

[herbavore]

^ You are definitely right that you have youth on your side but I have seen people quit in their fifties and sixties despite how much more damage they have done (to both body and mind).

You've really tapped into some strong stuff there by "noticing" (and appreciating) the good days and getting knowledge and insight from the bad days. This will carry you far even when addiction becomes something in your long ago past. It's a habit for happiness. Life is always going to throw curve balls but when you have learned to ride out the calamities without fatalistic thinking (It's never going to change. Life sucks) it gets so much easier. So good to hear that you are doing so well.

 

[totach]

Hey poli how are things?

 

[donefinally]

I've been clean for 6 weeks after a 15 year habit, feeling my best in years. I've been telling my story and how I got through it all, feel free to see my older post and everything I been through, hope it helps. I still once in awhile needing a xanax for my nerves but will not take another pill again, a beer will be fine for me. Took a month for my sleeping pattern to return to normal, more than a month for my nerves to calm down, going through week 1-2 seemed not bad now having to deal with the mental part, I don't have any urge to use again, It was very hard but I did it and if I can do it so can you. If anyone needs support plz friend, PM me, were all here for each other.

 

[poligurl]

I'm so ashamed. Today I am in hour 7 off HEROIN.
I'm scared.
my family found out. everyone is shaming me.
I carried a dead baby for four months and I'm trying to get my life together. Detoxing while working single mom....
Ive done Heroin for 6 months, snort, to ease the dead baby, and my cracked rib injury. Any suggestion please, any.

I have ten Xanax, as I was told by anoher member to grab. Immodium, two huge juices, I worked out HARD, KNOWING the restless lets wouldwould be 10 times worse.
I waitress, that wont help.
Bananas, B12, more potassium, and sleeping meds. I must work, if anywone can give me Comcast username and password I can use wifi to check on u. I'm too busy for and broke to have wifi, internet, cable we havea beautiful home and I'm ashamed I've done this to my parents. any advice, why after getting off subs, 7 weeks of hives, did I do this????

 

[bonomoopiojo55]

Hey there, you've hurdled the hardest part, just admitting what you did, you don't have to beat yourself up, I'm pretty sure you already are, it gets better, try to remember that once you start this cleansing process, you never have to feel like this, ever again