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Today I Am Thankful For... Ver. 4 Infinite Chances in an Amazing World

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Pure gold! Even before I finished reading your post, I felt you were going to realize that. Good for you man! :)
 
Nice man. :) I've been seeing a girl for almost 6 months now, she's really great. We're really compatible physically (like really) and she's the most chill female I have ever met, there hasn't been a single negative interaction of any kind between us, and I can always trust that what she says is what she means and that she's coming from a place I can understand. She's nice and caring and mature and loving. She'd make a great girlfriend, the only thing is I don't want or need a girlfriend right now, I'm still not fully divorced and I'm just coming out of a long bad relationship and opiate addiction and this is a period of intense personal growth... I don't want to get entwined in someone else now, I know that I can't and that's very important to me. Plus I don't want to, I like having my independence. :)

Anyway, she's cool with being casual and not being boyfriend/girlfriend, but I wonder how long that will last? We're liking each other more and more, I mean I really like her a lot too and I'd be really sad if I lost her. So I'm hoping that she's willing to stay casual and not committed.
 
This is it, I've been single and seeing girls casually for years now and this started off like that (for almost two years) but I saw her the other day and neither of us were under the influence of drugs for once rather than being wired on speed or charlie of going mad on acid like whenn we first met and we had a really nice weekend.

I was like hang on a second.....the sex is really amazing, she seems to like me just because I'm me, I like her just because she's her, she's hot, like me she's self-confident despite suffering from some depreddion, she's clever (like 1st from goldsmiths, masters in musicology from cambridge, student at the guildhall, apllying for funding for PhD at Cambridge clever), she makes me feel safe, I feel comfortable around her totally, although it's still essentially an open relationship (and I would actually be interested in maybe investigating a polyamorous relationship and I think maybe so would she, we talk to each other about other people we've fucked) I'm starting to feel protective towards her........why the fuck am I not focusing on this person more she's amazing!

So I'm trying to change the nature of the relationship. She feels the same but is a bit hesitant because of my past behaviour (nothing bad, just blowing in the wind no commitmment etc) so it's down to me to convince her my feeling have changed andd I won't let her down.

On the whole very nice though, has changed my self-esteem completely. She clearly dropped a 'it's my birthday bext week' hint last time I saw her (I had no idea even though I've known her a few years) so I bought her a Links silver charm bracelet and a silver and gold treble cleff charm for it:

5010.2638-sweetie%20charm%20chain%20blet%20m-1_360x360$.jpg

5030.2281-trebleclef_1_360x360$.jpg



We should be going to warsaw for a few nights and then my place in Mallorca for a few nights too at easter which will be lovely.

I totally not get wanting a relationship whiich was where I was at but no I'm likke hang this person mmakes me feel really good about myself and I really like her why wouldn't I want more. Taken a while to get there but that's ok. We still won't be on top of each other as we live a couple of hundred miles apart but that's ok because of the nature of the relationship. We're not hanging on each other's existence and suffering because we're always apart. It's just really nice when we spend time together and want to do more of it. I think not spending too much time together is good because then when you are together it's more special.


Disclaimer: sorry for the mushy shit again
 
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Well, you said it's been years... I could see myself being down to be in a relationship again in a couple of years. It's just not been that long for me, I need more time. :)
 
The bracelet is beautiful, Cat. :)

I've noticed that a lot of people perceive relationships in a very either/or, black/white manner: they either involve commitment (you are a couple) or you aren't committed and it is "just" consensual sex. I like that you and Xork have found women with whom to push the envelope of those limiting definitions. There really is nothing in life that can't benefit from allowing the unique to trump societal norms. Sounds fresh and open to me and that you are both comfortable seeing where it leads you or staying right where you are. Win/win if I ever heard one.:)
 
This is very special and it does not happen very often. Just go for it. Embrace this feeling as it can make you fulfilled and truly happy. Wish you all the best! :)
 
Thankful for being sober and strong as I never thought I would be.
 
Thanks to my job, I can get my mind busy, creative. I'm feeling healthy today.
 
herbavore said:
The bracelet is beautiful, Cat. :)

I've noticed that a lot of people perceive relationships in a very either/or, black/white manner: they either involve commitment (you are a couple) or you aren't committed and it is "just" consensual sex. I like that you and Xork have found women with whom to push the envelope of those limiting definitions. There really is nothing in life that can't benefit from allowing the unique to trump societal norms. Sounds fresh and open to me and that you are both comfortable seeing where it leads you or staying right where you are. Win/win if I ever heard one.:)
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Yeah she's cool. Very open minded and willing to let me be me but in no way a pushover. The upshot of that is that actually makes me want to be less of a waster and a more attractive person to her. I haven't asked her if she's slept with anyone else recently but we haven't said it's an exclusive relationship and if she has it's been discrete and that's cool with me. I haven't slept with anyone else for a while but that's more out of focusing on myself and trying to get my life sorted out, but she knows I've slept with other people since we started sleeping together. Am moving towards wanting her mainly for myself though=D

Having said that the idea of what is essentially a commmited and loving exclusive relationship but whereby sexual activity with other people is involved is appealing to me, and I get the impression maybe withh her as well. I don't buy this idea that because you are having sex with someone else it means you care any less about another person. If you're lying to them and misleading them then that's one thing but if everything is in a spirit of honesty then that's different.
 
10 days without heroin. And a beautiful sunny day yesterday on north st in Pittsfield mass
 
THECATINTHEHAT said:
Having said that the idea of what is essentially a commmited and loving exclusive relationship but whereby sexual activity with other people is involved is appealing to me, and I get the impression maybe withh her as well. I don't buy this idea that because you are having sex with someone else it means you care any less about another person. If you're lying to them and misleading them then that's one thing but if everything is in a spirit of honesty then that's different.
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I agree... being into multiple people doesn't necessarily mean you care less about any of them. I don't know if I would have believed that until I experienced it. I used to be very monogamy-minded and thought it was weird when people would be polyamorous. But I felt strongly about two people recently, one of them is the girl I talked about and another is another girl that I met earlier than her... recently we discussed having a sexual friendship but not sure it's going to actually happen... she's a good friend by now though, we hang out quite a bit, but recently I decided I was just going to try to be her friend because it's less confusing to me (not because of two people but because she's sent a lot of mixed messages). I feel at peace with it now although I do still like her, if she wants to go there sometime when we're hanging out, I'll definitely let it happen. I care about them both, it's just like two entirely separate relationships, both of which are something and unrelated to each other.
 
Today I am thankful for my family who encourage my frivolous ideas like wanting to plant seeds. I am thankful for my strength to continue on getting better, and for my doctor for giving me my zopis lol
 
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