I wan't to quote and reply to all the comments, it's quite overwhelming though (but great to hear so many opinions). First of all, I agree there is some level of misogyny in previous comments, many men are of the mindset that "I am who I am, don't try to change me"...which I feel is childish when you know deep down that what your partner is saying is true (in this case that I should choose healthier addictions). You guys gotta realize that you are putting yourselves at the same level as the women you are complaining about...the mysandric feminists who have trouble stepping into the shoe's of the opposite sex. Some guy's are alpha types and just don't give a shit, but I don't think it's fair to call a woman a cunt or bitch for trying to help the person she loves. This woman surprises me with ther wisdom and knowledge every day, although she is not technically/scientifically inclined (shes actually better at math than I am)...she has an emotional openness about her that amazes me, and she is able to consider many perspectives. At first I thought this woman didn't know much, but she is proving me wrong every day and I have much more respect for her now. There are times where us guys just need to lower our guards and open up to our girlfriends, because they know that we are not actually all that tough as we make ourselves out to be..and we don't know it all. Not that we shouldn't have our own personal boundaries, but we can't be so quick to dismiss a woman's point of view...and certainly not dump her for it.
Maybe some of you guys don't feel that drugs are limiting you, but I have never seen drug addiction lead anywhere good....until the person chooses to quit. I know many people personally who have become highly successful after giving up decade long addictions...most of them look back and feel that they need to make up for the years lost to drugs, so they are often very determined and entreprenurial people who come out of the experience more prepared than people who never used. The drugs we're limiting them, at least by the standards that our society dictates. Of course, some people are very successful (financially) whilst using drugs...though they often are not happy inside, and probably not nice people to be around. And yea, there was a girl who said something along the lines "well she has been taught since a child to seek that perfect man, a lawyer with lots of money and who doesn't use drugs and will buy you a diamond ring etc etc"....which is very true, because she has told me herself that she could find a man who fit's her parent's ideal, but she is attracted to the things in me that those kind of men don't offer...and she is willing to make that compromise. Same thing here, I could just find a girl who is all down with drugs and want's to get fucked up with me all the time...but that's not a relationship that's gonna lead anywhere helpful, is it?
I'm just glad that she is open to new ways of thinking, and questions what she has been told...and it's really interesting because she was the one to approached me first, and because she loved the sex we had she kept calling me and we eventually got together. She knows that I want to quit and is simply suggesting that I quit using bluelight for a while to take my mind off drugs. It's a good suggestion, but I still plan to contribute to bluelight in the future..regardless of whether I am using or not.
On the other hand, i'm fully aware that she has been programmed by her culture, upbringing, the media...that being in a relationship with a drug user can have consequences and lead to heartbreak. Not that it's not true to some extent, but I find she is like many young women who are prone read lot's of relationship articles and believe whatever they read online...and there is a lot of misinformation and fear mongering online about what constitutes a "normal relationship", imo.
Regardless of whether she has deep seated control issues, I also might have some underlying issues that I am not aware of...so it's hard for me to judge her for something like that. But to answer your question, her father was an alcoholic who died while she was young. She was raised by her mother and many siblings, all of whom are educated and went to school or married. So although i'm sure there are some underlying issues, she had a strong mother figure in her life...albeit, she was/is very dominating and controlling and calls her daughter on an almost daily basis. My girlfriend is herself concerned to some extent about this, and realizes her mother is quite controlling.