I don't have anything but MediCal and cannot afford to see Doctors plus they are idiots and I've had friends come through for me with comfort meds where I've had docs deny me clonidine more than once. As soon as you mention addiction they put away the prescription pad and take out the rehab/detox resource papers to give me which I crumple up and toss on the floor on the way out.
I think you guys are totally overflowing how bad the WDs will be once I use 1 strip of suboxone tapered down correctly. I might still have some chills and lack of energy, probley some depression. But look at where I started. 40mg of done.
Then again maybe I'm wrong and the worst is yet to come. For some reason I'm just not buying that. I've kicked subs before yeah the WDs last long but they aren't that bad.
I love the attitude
The truth is that me can make it through any opiate withdrawal. There really is only one thing we need to do. Just draw a line in the sand and determine we will not use no matter what. That is all it comes down to really. If we do this than our mind has no chance of changing our mind. Sure we are going to feal like hell, but that passes and then we are free from the physical dependence. I jumped 150 mgpd methadone, 260 mgpd oxy, and two weeks latter jumped 6 mg per day xan (this is dangerous so i would not recommend this without medical supervision). I didn't sleep for a very long time, I was in acutes for months. I also never stopped doing fun shit, yeah how fast i was able to move slowed to a crawl at points, but I did more shit that summer then I did last summer.
Opiate withdrawal only hurts.. it causes no real damage. If you realize what your going through is only temporary, that it will get better, and its something you going to have to do at some point, then just fucking do it.
I see people fall nicely into a classic addict funk, they end up on a endless detox. What happens is in their mind they are battling this, they are tapering and detoxing. They are cutting back to one day be free. The problem is that after ten months of "tapering" they are still just about exactly at the same place. In their minds they are addressing this and working to be off it, but in reality they are just in active use that is reduced to uncomfortable levels at times. We can fool ourselves into anything cant we.
To determine how bad the withdrawal will actually be, all you need to do is quit taking substances that effect the opiate receptors.
With getting of a substance is love the little green guys take on this..
weeks and months of "tapering" or "cutting down" are only valid if there is actually a steady tapper happening. If this is not the case then we are just swallowing our own lies.
Intention and desire are a amazing positive thoughts. But they can be turned into a never ending facade we belive and promote to everyone. Look at me I doing this great effort, im trying so hard. Since it never gets anywhere what is it really. Limited use where we make ourselves feal rough, so we can perpetuate s delusion that we are actually addressing the issue and can still use.
The key to addiction is to realize you are not resisting something wonderful, but instead freeing yourself of constant misery. You have seen a glimpse of it.. the pasty unhealthy zombie like slaves at the clinic. I'm not putting these great people down at all, they are amazing people, but they are under the grip of a life shattering delusion and under the constant influence of a soul crushing drug.
Im also not putting methadone down. Its saves lives and allows people to reach a place where they can reclaim their lives. But people need to then put forth the effort and reclaim their lives. Anyone who says you cant get off methadone and live a life equal or better to a person who is not an addict is so full of shit they should smell like an outhouse. It takes effort, something that us pill poppers, skin punctures, powder sniffers, and booze guzzlers would rather avoid if we could.
Your a bright man and soul get2.. and your stronger then even you realize. Accept the pain as its inevitable and will need to be faced at some point. Its only a phase and you will push through. In a couple of weeks you will feal alright. If you take a proactive aproach and make recovery you number one goal, then in a handful of months you will feal grand and likely find yourself on the path to amazing places. If you dont then You and I are very familiar with the crap ass place and struggle you will be undergoing
Can you accept that our going to feal like ass for a bit, but you can deal and then you will be out? Are you willing to attack you condition, instead of sitting back and being attacked?
You got this get2, Sir your this shit. %)
I cleaned up, but the last fucking thing in the world I will ever be is a pathedic sheeple. I have not replaced my forgotten moral and values with the govenments, churches, fellowships, or any other group or individuals. Na, I went back to the source.. Me
