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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Thread: N-Dimensional Funhouse of Possibilities

THR said:
I have not once seriously considered vegetarianism, and in my poverty I don't even buy products made of humanely treated animals. Out of sight, out of mind, as they say.
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But that's not actually true. The actual effects of farming animals is being felt by all. Its playing a huge role in climate change, reduction of arable land and overuse of limited resources. The world can't feed 7 billion people AND their food source and not be altered dramatically. And what a sad conclusion to the might and grandeur of evolution, infinite feedlots of beings in mute pointlessness! Fuck that, I'll have none of it...

One of my main motivations for not eating meat is my overarching desire to remove my own dependency on what only others can provide for me. Arrogantly perhaps, I've come to the conclusion that what is right for the majority is just not so for me (and I suspect many others) and, in trying to find my place in the world, I've just lined shit up for rejection and seen what works; this one has :) <3

FWIW, I care not a whit* for anyone else eating or not eating meat, do what thou wilt, just don't eat me...

*whit or wit?
 
^Yeah, that one's a classic.

willow said:
Its playing a huge role in climate change, reduction of arable land and overuse of limited resources.
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Verily, verily. I voted to increase the size of the cages of egg laying chickens, and those are still terrible. But a dozen eggs at $1.50 vs $4.00 dollars for free-range is a more than 100% price increase. At a small-business discount place they recently had 5lbs of frozen chicken patties for $5, as someone who spends $50 or less a month on food that's a very worthy purchase, in spite of its environmental deficiencies (given my rice and lentil based diet, and medical condition that renders me less able to absorb protein than mos, it's probably healthy for me to boot).
 
Wow wasnt sure i was in love until I had a near ++++ breakthrough getting a bit stoned / drunk on pramiracetam last night and feeling so happy and peaceful that it easily challenges my top 5 rolling moments.

shitty news is that I am probably be going to be paying back a lot in taxes... and I hope all goes well finally putting together that wardrobe closet I built, which is again my highest priority. Another thing is that I am hoping to get an internship in my cousin's firm, please let my life continue to come back together!

Haven't been here that much lately, quite busy.. missed you guys :D whatsup PD??
 
^I'm happy to hear that. You put a lot of work into maintaining a healthy mental state, and life in general, so you are well befit the opportunity to obtain the clear-equanimity and intoxication of sharing yourself with a fellow human being that you fancy. Fulfilling the emotional and physical imperative encoded in your DNA ought to be the ultimate fulfillment, I'd imagine.

NKB said:
Its playing a huge role in climate change, reduction of arable land and overuse of limited resources.
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Case in point, it's currently 5:15AM.

And given the talk of employment and malaise related to making a living we've had, and my sleep deprived ebriety, I must take recourse to the musical that I maintain teaches you everything you need to know about life (the books it was based on were written by a theosophist, ya'know. A soul-sister to our spirituality and esotericism. I have not yet had the opportunity to read them, 'tis something to look forward to.). Here ya go.

Pretty sure I'm gonna cry if Julie Andrews dies before I do. More of a mother to me than my own ill-qualified creator.
 
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If seven maids with seven mops swept it for half a year
Do you suppose, the walrus said, that they could get it clear?
I doubt it, said the carpenter, and shed a bitter tear
 
Solipsis said:
Wow wasnt sure i was in love until I had a near ++++ breakthrough getting a bit stoned / drunk on pramiracetam last night and feeling so happy and peaceful that it easily challenges my top 5 rolling moments.

shitty news is that I am probably be going to be paying back a lot in taxes... and I hope all goes well finally putting together that wardrobe closet I built, which is again my highest priority. Another thing is that I am hoping to get an internship in my cousin's firm, please let my life continue to come back together!

Haven't been here that much lately, quite busy.. missed you guys :D whatsup PD??
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Sounds like lots of good stuff be raining down upon ye my brother, and pleasing that is :) <3

I find it interesting how diverse your interests are; correct me if I miss some; you appear to enjoy composition of music, chemistry, carpentry, playing music, taking drugs, martial arts and....? I think you are also into meditation....?
 
Feels like I've been through thick and thin already with you guys, not really sure which is thick and which is thin... but yeah want to share this love. Until that point where people want you to go elsewhere with your radiant enthousiasm and never ending words about romance. Intoxicating for sure, if not the best affliction in the world.

My interests.. right ^ must. not. brag :o
I don't meditate seriously and committedly anymore, only casually. Martial arts make up for it though... and I'm pretty balanced now without meditating frequently. But yeah I used to be much deeper into it. I don't pretend to be good at it or know very well how to do it, but I still advocate the significance of meditative / yogic practices for tripping as being a balanced mind in balanced body makes all the difference set-wise.
I'm also into making absurdist cartoons, cooking and growing mushrooms / plants especially ethno-
IT-related stuff is something I have experience in, and hopefully conceptual design will be the focus of internship at my cousin's firm.

Is taking drugs a skill by the way? :D (not that you said it is, but it stands out in a pretty funny way)

any of these things you like particularly by any chance?
 
Solipsis said:
Wow wasnt sure i was in love until I had a near ++++ breakthrough getting a bit stoned / drunk on pramiracetam last night and feeling so happy and peaceful that it easily challenges my top 5 rolling moments.

shitty news is that I am probably be going to be paying back a lot in taxes... and I hope all goes well finally putting together that wardrobe closet I built, which is again my highest priority. Another thing is that I am hoping to get an internship in my cousin's firm, please let my life continue to come back together!

Haven't been here that much lately, quite busy.. missed you guys :D whatsup PD??
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Hey man! I'm so happy for you... nothing feels as good as being in love, especially new love. <3 Well, as long as it's returned, which it sounds like it is.

So last night I ended up taking some drugs against my better judgment... I wish I hadn't now that it's the morning. I took some propylhexedrine I found that I had extracted from a Benzedrex inhaler a while ago and forgot I had, which was actually pretty nice at the time and got my mood quite a bit better (I was really struggling in the later part of yesterday as you could probably tell from my long post), and then I added some MXE. Then I decided I wanted to go for a hole dose which I haven't tried in quite some time, but it was like the propylhexedrine entirely blocked anything from happening behind my eyes, it was a weird experience. I listened to Shpongle to try to get into myself, and I suppose my worries were magnified and I had this strange detached experience where various forms of the thought "Flynn is dead" (Flynn being the girl I've been seeing who is in California) kept going through my mind. I half took this as truth (she hadn't been responding to me and I was starting to worry about her especially given she's staying in a remote place with a bunch of random people) and was trying to prepare myself for if it was true in a detached sort of dissociated way. Once I came out of it I started to become very unsettled by the experience and I also had a large amount of insomnia so I drank a small collection of beers and watched a really bizarre show on Comedy Central called TripTank for a couple of hours. Finally at like 3am I checked my email and lo and behold, she had responded. It was a nice email. My two fears were that she was either in trouble or for some reason had decided she wasn't interested in me anymore... I had no real reason to believe either of those but they were in my mind anyway. So now those fears are allayed, which is good. I was mostly worried she was in trouble or hurt or something, it was like the thought crept in (a couple of days ago) and I started to think "maybe I'm thinking this because it's true and I got a burst of intuition". Sometimes I'm weird like that...

So I have a bit of a hangover this morning, and I used drugs to mask my mental state which is something I have been trying not to do. Oh well, live and learn. I need to work on stabilizing myself... I can feel winter pulling me down already, and I need to be able to deal with the season changes in life in healthy ways. I've got a lot of winters left to experience and I don't want to always be cycling through depression and anxiety because of them. I wouldn't say I'm depressed because most of the time I am happy still, but I'm having definite depressive periods, usually a day here or there, or a half day. I was hoping that given how different my life is, that I would be spared of that this year but it looks like not. It's weird, I was never like this as a kid, I loved winter (though not as much as spring or summer). It really started once I moved away to North Carolina. Maybe it's because I'm not with my family, or maybe it's just a brain change from growing up. I think maybe winter makes me feel lonelier... it's cold and dark, and this year is the first year I truly live alone. And right now I feel extra lonely because the person I want to be spending time with is not here.

This also makes me realize that if she was here I would just feel totally content with spending time with her... I don't need to pursue anyone else, she definitely fulfills all of my desires for loving female companionship. I can't wait til she gets back. :) Looking back on the time we did spend together, there really was nothing remotely negative about it at all. It was all good things that felt right. She's been gone now for the same amount of time that we had known each other before she left, but it feels like a much shorter time than that since she left.

Ah... love, the most beautiful and complex and confusing of human emotions. I wouldn't say I'm in love with her per se, but I definitely care about her a lot. That's the direction it's going. I wonder what the future holds?

Solipsis said:
Is taking drugs a skill by the way? :D (not that you said it is, but it stands out in a pretty funny way)
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I'd say so. :)
 
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I hear you man, even when it's positive feelings... there is still - at least for me - a sensation of getting unsettled when I am left to deal with my feelings / emotions for a longer period of time. And taking drugs is so conditioned for us now I guess - polydrug tendencies feel in part different and part the same as being more deeply addicted to only one substance.

Glad she is fine, and hope you can get out of that weird mindspace with paranoid worries now..

I always obviously would have said I'd want a girlfriend who would trip with me, but now that I am with someone who doesn't trip (has tried once or twice - and indeed a fair drug history other than that)... it may not be a bad influence on me. Better to temper than encourage each other's bad habits. Tripping is not one of my bad habits, but it could still all complicate things - and for once I am considering drug-taking as a whole. Don't think I have a problem keeping it separate with her and stick to the wine. If we pretend for one second that's not a drug. ;)

Perhaps in time she will agree to let me use something like 2C-C in her company. For now I am the one not even getting stoned when I see her. Might sound weird to some of you, but with her I don't want to be too far removed from my normal sober self... but maybe later when all time we spend together is not so devoted.
 
Does she respect your use of psychedelics, and know about it? My ex didn't trip which in a way was probably a good influence on me but she also didn't respect it which was a bad thing for me/us. It led to me hiding it from her due to her scorn about my use. It was a weird place to be in because my psychedelic experiences are such an important part of my life experiences, and my partner thought it was stupid.

Flynn has tripped a number of times, she's never had a breakthrough experience though, but she's super interested in my stories and thinks it's cool that I have. She even printed out my ibogaine story to read on her trip. She doesn't do drugs often, she smokes weed every so often (I have not smoked with her) and she drinks periodically... I imagine sometime we will trip together but I don't think drugs are any kind of problem for her, she seems to use them very appropriately and responsibly. Which is probably nothing but a good influence for me.

I agree with you about polydrug addiction... it's different from being hardcore addicted to a specific substance, but it's still kind of the same thing. Opiates were FAR more destructive to my life and my emotional/mental state, but I'm not going to pretend like I don't struggle with general drug addiction and using a variety of drugs more than is healthy.
 
Yeah she respects it and knows about it, even how I managed to have an existential crisis for years after one fateful mushroom trip. I told her a lot of very personal things about myself already (we both did) which is one of the things that makes this relationship quite special for me. Some of those things are pretty wild and unhealthy, but considering where we are coming from it is apparently less hard to be understanding about it. Still I'm proud of both of us.

Tripping, or even less mentally strange acting drugs are probably not a good idea for her for a few reasons, even if she was interested to revisit. I'd rather be the guy who protects her from making mistakes with that than the guy encouraging her, because of his own selfish fantasies of getting psychedelically shitfaced together. I'm even hesitant to give her theanine, go figure. Almost ridiculous, but a matter of principle at this point - that I'd rather just not have that on my conscience / see her suffer.

@ latter part of your post: yes I'm the same / emphasize fully
need to take it easy with the downers incl opioids, but its going fine... i recently decided to give up dissociatives

ADDIT:
http://vimeo.com/108753054 (this is the psychedelic social yes? ;) )
 
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Heh, I only really just started using dissociatives fully, really just MXE though. Lately I've been using psychedelics very responsibly, just occasionally, but I've been using MXE too often for sure, up to every other day but certainly at least twice a week. It's hard not to when all your friends and yourself have some. Last night was the first time I used it alone at home since my initial explorations though, I don't want to start doing that. I do it when I'm hanging out and people want to do it, because it's so much fun that way. I've also been drinking a few times a week although with summer over I have chilled out on that. I've only been smoking weed occasionally, I purposely decided not to buy any of my own except every so often when I know a lot will be smoked and I don't want to be a mooch. It's to save money but also, primarily, so I won't smoke every day. I've taken phenibut twice since a couple of weeks ago when I said on here that I'd been taking it too often, and I feel good about that level of use, roughly once a week at maximum.

So really when I look back, I'm doing pretty well but I am doing too much MXE, to be sure.

I feel guilty sometimes because I tried to get my ex to trip with me for many years... she eventually grew to respect my experiences and liked to hear about them, and finally I got her to try low dose DMT as well as mushrooms (she was a major pothead nearly the whole time, worse than me most of the time). She was fine with those but then last summer we were camping and she was given a 50mg dose while expecting another low (10-15mg) dose... she had a traumatic experience and shortly thereafter she started to get weird which culminated in a nervous breakdown/psychosis. I see now she shouldn't have been tripping... and in fact she already has a pretty psychedelic type of mindset about things. I always wonder if my urge to share tripping with her led to exacerbating her mental issues.
 
You can't blame yourself for something you only became conscious of later... I'm sure you had good intentions at heart, there is a lot of beauty to share that way but for sure some people are not cut out for it.

MXE socially in not too big amounts, but especially with a little alcohol added can be nice and ok - lots of fun yes. But my roommate really shouldn't be doing it at all anymore and I don't really have other friends to do MXE with, so when I took it I mostly started abusing it again. Way too big amounts and IMing until full meltdowns occurred. Definitely not okay. I've been there with the K, although with K I mostly went hermit instead of having psychomeltdowns. So I don't really have any business doing dissociatives anymore.

I'm expecting O-desmethyltramadol in the mail tomorrow... on the one hand I should take it easy with it and don't want to blunt my feelings too much, on the other hand I have a mind to IM it for more mileage and BA. :\
With that stuff and psychedelics, I'd like to use it with decency but to be honest I hardly have the time. I guess that should help control it. Perhaps a nice mild 2C-X for saturday.. :)

Man, dat girl is cheeky... she stuck out her tongue at me, in my mouth.. lol, and yes i could tell the difference
 
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Hehe, nice man. :) Tongues in mouths are always nice, and so is cheeky.

On the last night she was here, Flynn and I were just trying to be as close as possible in bed and be as intertwined as possible, like if extreme snuggling was a sport... we fell asleep with our lips locked together, or rather, she fell asleep, I didn't really want to sleep, just soak it in, plus I was on DOC so I couldn't sleep. It was actually one of the most intimate things I've ever experienced, I keep thinking about it since then. I really can't wait til she gets back and we can continue whatever it is we're doing.

I almost exclusively use MXE socially in small to moderate amounts, usually with a few beers. It's so much fun that way, every single time we have epic and hilarious conversations and half the time I feel that I've worked through some stuff, very therapeutic. As for me, no o-desmethyltramadol... I am very comfortable with my stance that I will never touch another opiate again in my life. Nothing is worth repeating that living hell again, especially not a temporary high. If I was a person who could control my opiate use I'd have ordered some already, but I have discovered about myself through years of hardship that I am not such a person.
 
word "MXE" shows up a lot in PD social nowadays =) I used again 4 or 5 nights in a row when I got my gram, last time 50+50mg didnt do much. Havent dosed any in 3 days, wonder if the tolerance has gone down little bit already

We had a LAN party with friends and everyone took some MXE, haha it was epic
 
^ A lot of people report being able to get absorbed much more deeply in games when on MXE or 3-MeO-PCP... not sure if I tried it.

Xorkoth getting entangled is classic, I always wonder if it were a judo match who would be winning. ;) And yeah we can sleep surprisingly well when still caught up.
I don't really know how you combine DOC with a busy schedule though. Still would have to look into cutting short the comeup by vaping. But I'd probably prefer to first buy a microgram balance which I am on the hunt for, nearly nailed one today.
 
DOC doesn't really prohibit me from living my life normally, although I usually dose it on a weekend day when I don't have anything else to do. On that day I really wanted to use it even though it was a weekday, so I just did it and worked all day, not an issue. DOC makes me feel very enabled and sharp, though it's not something I like to normally take when I have to work or something as I'd rather be sober.

Yeah physical entanglement is the best. My ex wasn't super into it, I mean we did it when we were younger but as we got older she was more like "don't touch me while I'm trying to sleep", it made me sad because I love that.
 
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