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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support)

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Here's my update

Nearly at month 4, most symptoms are diminished or only come back here and there. No meds or special diet has been followed, just kept on doing what I did throughout my life before I cooked it. Still a slight pressure in my head, visual snow comes and goes, slight floaters during the day, anxiety only comes back if I try and smoke weed or do not like my surroundings. Still feel a very small dp/dr lingering, probably due to the fact I'm still overanalysing myself. My memory still isn't back to 100% but getting there, starting to enjoy things again. Also I felt asif I lost abit of musical ability through this, I couldn't keep time, struggle to remember lyrics and some songs? I think that was down to the brain fog, hoping that fully lifts soon! Still feel like I'm living inside my head a little, which is frustrating
 
spor_88 said:
Thanks for your belittling comment, that's exactly what this thread needs.

Read my original post (page 37). I think I've done enough ecstasy and mephedrone that it's possible that I've done damage to my serotonin system and therefor my condition constitutes as a "real" LTC. The HPPD, depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and depersonalization symptoms were very real. I think this is a complex issue and every person reacts differently, so think before you post your depreciating opinion.

Why would taking mushrooms on a LTC hospitalize me. I can understand why you would think it would be a bad idea, or that it could possibly have adverse psychological reactions (which it didn't), but why would one of the safer psychoactive substances hospitalize me just because my serotonin system is in repair mode? Psychedelics bind to serotonin rather than deplete your supplies (like MDMA), in my layman understanding of their effects on the brain.

I understand that I should be letting my body rest at this time. I am keeping very active, meditating for 20 minutes daily and eating right. I am only drinking alcohol because I'm going on a once in a lifetime trip around Europe. I don't see how my behaviour would hospitalize me... It is probably delaying my recovery, but that's my choice. If i didn't stop taking pills 2 months ago, I would probably still be doing it now and leading the same lifestyle... I don't think I would have been hospitalized. My symptoms would have gotten worse, sure, but putting myself in hospital seems a bit extreme.

Thanks for the support, man.
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Nothing belittling about it. I am not going to support someone who is supposedly sick yet wants to do drugs as much as possible. That's just me. I'm not wishing you harm, but, c'mon, use a little common sense. Brain problems and doing psychedelics and you see no way you can end up in the hospital? Whatever. It's your life!
 
rphilli72 said:
Nothing belittling about it. I am not going to support someone who is supposedly sick yet wants to do drugs as much as possible. That's just me. I'm not wishing you harm, but, c'mon, use a little common sense. Brain problems and doing psychedelics and you see no way you can end up in the hospital? Whatever. It's your life!
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Your comment pretty much defined belittling. I don't want to sit and argue with someone over the internet, it's pointless. It's clear from the language you're using that you are convinced that I have some Fight Club-esque motive for coming onto a support thread to make up a condition that I don't have. "This is rphilli72. rphilli72 has bitch tits."

I actually find psychedelics to be therapeutic, and I am by no means doing as much drugs as possible. There's people in this thread that have continued using MDMA (in reduced quantity and frequency) during their LTC, which, in my opinion, is much more detrimental to their recovery. I have already stated my reasons for continuing to drink, and I have also stated that after my trip that I am stopping all substances for a prolonged period of time.

Maybe you should try and open your mind to the fact that people have different circumstances to your own. Maybe my symptoms aren't as severe as yours. Maybe my body can handle taking psychedelics at the moment. Maybe I don't want to distance myself from my social circle.

I came on here to share my struggle with this condition, and maybe give some people a little hope that they will see improvements given time. I am just another unofficial case study in this highly complex issue, with continued use of psychedelics as my variables. There is also studies that show that magic mushrooms are more efficient at treating depression that current anti-depressant and anxiety drugs. http://www.theguardian.com/science/2013/apr/07/magic-mushrooms-treat-depression . Although, I'd like to point out that I don't condone the use of psychedelics during a LTC. I took the risk, and it's worked for me, although I have quite a lot of experience with hallucinogens.

My condition is improving, so I don't think I'm holding myself back too much whilst still enjoying nights out with my friends. You don't agree with the way I'm handling this and I think I'm doing just fine, let's just leave it at that. xoxoxoxoxo
 
spor_88 said:
I came on here to share my struggle with this condition, and maybe give some people a little hope that they will see improvements given time. I am just another unofficial case study in this highly complex issue, with continued use of psychedelics as my variables.
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I'm actually very interested in hearing if you've noticed any difference doing psychedelics now compared to prior to your LTC.
 
spor_88, are you still consuming alcoholic beverages?

Also, regardless of how you are currently feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally, are you sure it's a good idea in the long term to be using psychedelics - especially since HPPD is one of your symptoms?

To me, what you choose to do with your body is your choice, and only your choice - so long as it doesn't end up physically hurting someone else without provocation. At least, this is how I've always believed the minority of individuals who consume other mind-altering substances should be treated, and not with animosity, discrimination, and prejudice.

That being said, there's a chance you could be doing more harm to yourself than good, over the long term. For example, alcohol is a known neurotoxin[1], hepatotoxin[2], and cardiotoxin[3][4] when consumed in amounts which are required to get someone full-on drunk.

Furthermore, according to the World Health Organization, there is now sufficient evidence to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that ethanol (alcohol) is a Group 1 Carcinogen, regardless of the amount consumed.[5]

My point in telling you all this is not meant to lecture you, but rather to make you aware (in case you're not aware) of the possibility that the potential harm may outweigh any benefits - that's all. So please don't take it as anything else, because it isn't.

It should also be noted that the reason why I'm so focused on alcohol is because it seems like it's accepted by society as a habit which doesn't cause much harm to the user. If only they all knew.

That doesn't mean that I think the other - controlled substances - are much safer. In fact, no drug is 100% safe. Any and every of them can harm any human being if the dosage is high enough.

Like I said before, it's your life, it's your choice, it's none of my business, and I've spent too much time writing this up.

Above all, even though I don't know you, I hope that, if you continue to use recreational substances while recovering from your LTC, that they don't make matters worse is all.

Have a good one :)

[1] - "The Neurotoxicity of Alcohol" - http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/10report/chap02e.pdf
[2] - "Risk factors for alcohol hepatotoxicity among male alcoholics" - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2890507
[3] - "Alcohol is cardiotoxic" - http://cardiologyforall.blogspot.ca/2007/04/alcohol-is-cardiotoxic.html
[4] - "Alcoholic Cardiomyopathy" - http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/152379-overview
[5] - "IARC Monographs on the Evaluation of Carcinogenic Risks to Humans Volume 44 - Alcohol" - http://monographs.iarc.fr/ENG/Monographs/vol44/volume44.pdf
 
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be·lit·tle make (someone or something) seem unimportant.

By definition, nothing I said was belittling you. I simply said you can't be that sick if you think taking all those drugs is a good thing and I can't support it. In fact, that is pretty much the opposite of belittling. That is actually showing concern on a certain level.

And, you don't want to argue on the internet and then you start arguing. I think you may be on your way to eating baby food. How's that for belittling?

 
Lets have a fight on a post that is essentially here to help people in a tough time. Good idea
 
ScaredFirstTimer said:
I'm actually very interested in hearing if you've noticed any difference doing psychedelics now compared to prior to your LTC.
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I have not noticed any difference in doing psychedelics now compared to prior to my LTC. The last time I smoked DMT ... after the peak effects were over and I came back down a little bit, I got a bit worried that the visuals (which were still pretty strong) would stay and that my HPPD would have been 10 times worse. I think this worry was due to the weed I used in the bong as I don't tend to smoke weed very much any more as it makes me anxious, but that's nothing new. An hour and a half after the trip, I was completely normal again.

On the rare occasion that I do smoke weed, I tend to notice the vividness of colours are a lot more akin to that of a proper psychedelic. I think this could be for a variety of reasons. It could be the normal effects of weed and I just didn't notice before because I wasn't actively looking for it. It could be exaggerating my HPPD. I've also read other peoples personal accounts that weed can bring back the effects of hallucinogens, sort of like a door has been unlocked and left open in your mind. I can only speculate.
 
ro4eva said:
spor_88, are you still consuming alcoholic beverages?
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Yes, I am at the moment. I'm going travelling with friends for 5 weeks, and I will be drinking during this time. I'm stopping the use of all substances after this for a period of about 6-8 weeks to give my body a proper rest.

Thanks for taking the time to put together your post. I know that alcohol is a pretty harmful drug. Sadly, us Scots love to live up to the stereotype, and binge drinking is commonplace in our culture. I know this isn't an excuse, but stopping drinking completely would be extremely difficult for me at this age, as it's all people do at the weekends. Thanks to the shitty weather all year round, there isn't much else to do.

I can see why you would have some concerns over my continued use of psychedelics and the possibility of their cumulative effects on my HPPD. I have noticed that certain substances exasperate these effects, LSD and MDMA being the most noticeable culprits. I've also noticed that 2cb makes it worse for a couple of days before the effects subside. Mushrooms and DMT, however, leave no noticeable lingering after-effects, except for a heightened sense of well-being and happiness for a few weeks following a trip. I believe it would be hard to stop taking something that rids me of anxiety and depression, and I find the introspective nature of these chemical experiences to be a great self-improvement tool if used in the correct way, and at the same time I find them extremely fun. I also do not believe that I have suffered any negative effects from taking mushrooms in the 4 years I have been using them.

I am actually recovering from my symptoms despite this continued use, isn't that the main point? I am going to take a complete break from all substances after my holiday, but I will use mushrooms again in the future. But at the moment they don't seem to be of any detriment to my condition, if it was obviously making me worse I would stop immediately.

Thanks for the level-headed support, ro4eva.
 
Cursedzx said:
Lets have a fight on a post that is essentially here to help people in a tough time. Good idea
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This is a actually a fair point. People do try to focus on positivity in this particular thread and it may lose a lot of its benefit it we spoil that.
 
I'm a little over eight months out from my bad mdma night. Still have tingling sensations that user Imatowel had. It has gotten much better especially through months six to eight. I'm still staying away from alcohol and caffeine. It's a long slow process but I will be fully recovered soon enough along with others that are in similar predicaments. Stay strong. I'm almost positive MDMA was neurotoxic to my brain. I haven't come across a better explanation for my head paresthesia. Also, I still don't feel like the exact same person I was before this night :\.
 
Cursedzx said:
The only thing left bothering me to glbe honest is the visual snow and floaters!
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Hey Cursedzx,

I've been experiencing similar symptoms for over a decade, so I know that it can REALLY get annoying, as does chronic tinnitus.

That being said, try to not worry, because chances are that with time things will get better, as they have in my case, and in other cases.

Perhaps a multivitamin regime would do your eyes some good, as could supplementation with Omega 3-6-9 fatty acids.

A few weeks into my supplementation with both of the aforementioned items, and I've noticed a significant improvement in eye sight with respect to floaters (which used to drive me nuts).

Not just that, but I swear I have an easier time with long distance sight - as if things have become sharper and clearer. Hopefully it's not purely a placebo effect.

Anyways, I hope you have a wonderful day, take care :)
 
ro4eva said:
Hey Cursedzx,

I've been experiencing similar symptoms for over a decade, so I know that it can REALLY get annoying, as does chronic tinnitus.

That being said, try to not worry, because chances are that with time things will get better, as they have in my case, and in other cases.

Perhaps a multivitamin regime would do your eyes some good, as could supplementation with Omega 3-6-9 fatty acids.

A few weeks into my supplementation with both of the aforementioned items, and I've noticed a significant improvement in eye sight with respect to floaters (which used to drive me nuts).

Not just that, but I swear I have an easier time with long distance sight - as if things have become sharper and clearer. Hopefully it's not purely a placebo effect.

Anyways, I hope you have a wonderful day, take care :)
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hmm, I def still have the visual snow and all, but my vision i feel is even different than that. The world around me just looks weird. It has an apearance as If im tripping. Not warping or moving or anything, but spacy or alienlike. Its hard to describe. Im hoping this part goes away, as its a constant reminder. I can live with the snow, Just the spacy part is the weird part
 
So for the guys who have recovered and all. How long would you say it took you for your cognitive head to come back to you. No more brain fog, fluid thinking, and just stupid mistakes to go away? about 16 months later, my brain still feels like swiss cheese. Its very annoying.

Did anything help to get rid of that?

Im thinking of going back to school and maybe that will stimulate my head faster.
 
Pmz seriously you need to get off this site. Its almost a year now and you still have the same questions. Get a job. Go out. Be busy. And soon you will forget all this things. The reason you still have that is that your wasting your time and life focusing on this when you know the only cure is to live with it and dont give a damn with how you feel. try that route and i promise you you will be in the same position as i am now. Stop asking how long... Did it go away etc.. Your prolonging your problem with all this. Promise you will feel better and eventually be 100% ok if you start now. We have been in the same boat, same time but see the difference i refused to go your route by questioning all this things 24/7. I continued life its hard in the beginning but its better to experience all the hardship all at once than be on your position now. Its scary everyone knows that but if you pass that fear and realize that all this doesnt really hinder you for having a fullfilling life then that fear will slowly fade and you will be back to your normal self. Its all anxiety trust me been into worst. Anxiety does NOT Stop you for living normally it is how you react to it. I hope next year will be a different story for you. Nyt..
 
And eye floaters etc this will all go away.... Its anxiety. We became too sensitive with all the symptoms that we analize everything. Next time try thinking this way instead of questioning the eyefloaters why not just live with it sure it will be annoying and all but your eyes are still functioning. What it the floaters will not go? Start accepting... And your brain will start not focusing on those eyefloaters etc. i hope you get what i mean. Start accepting all this symptoms. it will stay if you fear them and it will go if you learn to accept them.
 
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