Mental Health Anxiety Disorder

[Steve French]

Hello,

I don't usually browse the forums, but I have occasionally come here for information over the last 12 years or so.
I tried to find an old post of mine, but I could not remember my old username and my old E-mail is now gone. The post was made roughly 5-6 years ago when I first started getting panic attacks and feeling depressed. Anyways.. the point of all this was to come back and read my post and tell everyone that things have improved greatly. The anxiety took a while to get under control and once it was under control, the depression seemed to dissipate with it. I suffered for years until I finally went and did some Cognitive Behavioral therapy and it was very effective, so people.. DO NOT underestimate psychologists. They dedicate their lives to studying the brain and the human condition, so stop thinking that they wont be able to help you.

Now that I've said all that, I'd like to talk about conquering my last obstacle and see if anyone here is in the same boat as me.
Marijuana is my all time favorite drug and unfortunately since the anxiety started 5-6 years ago I haven't been able to indulge. Each time I try it again, intense waves of anxiety hit me and it takes all of my willpower to not completely lose my mind. I only take a puff or two and most of the time the outcome is the same, which I will now try to describe the best I can. It starts with just one negative thought which then snowballs into a full blown onslaught of racing thoughts that send me into a state of depersonalization and then it climaxes into a uncontrollable anxiety attack. The CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) has helped me a lot with these situations so far, and once a week now I will indulge alone at home and try and counter the attacks with the mental tools I took home from the CBT. So far I've managed to have 1 very great experience, but the other two have been a bit scary. I'm much better at keeping the negative thoughts under control, but it takes away all the fun when all you are doing is countering the of negative thoughts in your head over and over.

Has anyone dealt with this before and managed to conquer it? Everyone tells me I just shouldn't smoke, but that isn't an option for me. The trick to fighting my anxiety was putting myself into the situations that triggered it! I would always get it at restaurants and then I started avoiding them, that is until the therapist told me that avoidance is the worst thing I can do for anxiety. I do understand that it is harder to apply everything I've learned while I intentionally alter my mind by smoking, but I would still like to give it a chance.

 

[Maya]

^I have read on some posts that for some people who have had a comedown from a certain drug or drug abuse get sensitive to marijuana and brings out the anxiety that has always been there but just making it more prominent.
I would like to ask you OP, did you use any other substances before you got anxiety or been sensitive to marijuana? I would like to apologize if I am not aware of your recent thread.

I have had a comedown in 2012 with taking too much mdma and was sensitive to any type of substance for a year, and even smoking a cigarette will give me anxiety. IME, the body and brain heals but the healing will vary from person to person. Some heal in a year others longer.I am not sensitive to mj anymore and I think that what is helping me a lot with anxiety is extreme exercise. I exercise almost everyday and I have read that exercise helps with balancing the neurotransmitters in our brain.

 

[T. Calderone]

Hi Steve, glad you came back to Bluelight! I smoked weed for many years with no problems. Somewhere in my late 30's, the good effects kind of stopped. Not extreme like your situation, but more like I had trouble concentrating. Or I would think about something or a situation that happened and keep re-living it. I couldn't control my negative thoughts and that would just wreck my buzz.

So I went quite some time not smoking, thinking it's just not for me anymore. Most recently, I tried some sativa type weed with my friend and I only took a few hits. I was surprised to find it felt pretty smooth and I had no bad thoughts. Perhaps it's now that I'm taking citalopram or that was a different strain of weed. I'm probably not helping much but just wanted to share my experience.

 

[herbavore]

If you stay on Bluelight long enough you will see that this is a very common occurrence for quite a few former weed smokers. The anxiety varies in intensity but it is something that I have read over and over. I am 60 and for most of my life I didn't smoke weed because this started happening to me back in my late teens. I now use it as a sleep aid and occasionally for recreation with absolutely no paranoia. I don't know what changed back then and what changed again now--total mystery. But the bottom line is that if it doesn't actually feel good why do it at all? I know that when you are young it can be awkward if everyone around you is doing it; you constantly have to explain why you aren't. But you have already dealt with that aspect so what is your motivation to smoke again?

P.S. I wonder if your old post was merged into an anxiety megathread?

 

[HB Pencil]

I suffer with GAD and social anxiety which manifests itself in irrational paranoid thoughts, CBT has helped me dull it but its never really gone. Ofcourse smoking weed almolst always triggers it.
I also believe in not running away so i have blazed in situations where previously i'd be almost guaranteed to have a panic attack and trigger fresh depression for a bit.

My advice is two get it out in the open, i suffered for a long time before seeing a therapist and i kept that a secret from my friends for just as long, recently i decided to just put it out in the open, i told all my close friends exactly how crazy i was and they reacted in the opposite way of the therapist.

They told me i was crazy and that all the irrational shit my sub-conscience decides to be true is ridiculous and that i should just forget it, now i can smoke a joint with these people and crush any symptoms immediately. It is a little like having a fight with yourself but it seems to be the only way, if you let the situation escalate in your head it will do exactly that every time.
Stop it early, relax and laugh at how much of a crazy bastard you are, i don't know if your attacks involve the irrational bullshit my sub-conscience kicks out, if it does just try and view it in the 3rd person and realise how funny it is, it works mostly sometimes it doesn't.

If you try and see the funny side of a being a bit crazy it makes it much easier.
If i go full panic i can recover in less than a day now which is pretty good going if you know how bad this shit can be.

 

[CosmicG]

I can really relate to the whole concept of irrational paranoid thoughts arising from social anxiety. The strategy to just laugh it off often does help me, because as HB said most if not all of the paranoid thoughts I think hold no water and are simply negative projections from my sub-conscience. Third person view is another great one. It takes practive but I truly believe when somene actively strives for a goal every day they can achieve it.

My relationship with weed has always pretty much been the same. I enjoy it much more alone unless I am comfortable around the people I am with. Otherwise the paranoia is inevitable unfortunately which leads to anxiety. I smoke quite a bit though too much in my opinion sometimes but hey it is something I really like doing. Meditation has been great for helping with my anxiety and for me the two go hand in hand. A hit or two Helps with concentration and relaxation prior to a session. I find it to at least for me!

 

[Vaya]

Hey OP; I'm going to move this over to our Mental Health sub-forum, a forum dedicated specifically to these topics
Thanks!!

All my best,

~ Vaya

 

[THeW0rm]

^I have read on some posts that for some people who have had a comedown from a certain drug or drug abuse get sensitive to marijuana and brings out the anxiety that has always been there but just making it more prominent.
I would like to ask you OP, did you use any other substances before you got anxiety or been sensitive to marijuana? I would like to apologize if I am not aware of your recent thread.

I have had a comedown in 2012 with taking too much mdma and was sensitive to any type of substance for a year, and even smoking a cigarette will give me anxiety. IME, the body and brain heals but the healing will vary from person to person. Some heal in a year others longer.I am not sensitive to mj anymore and I think that what is helping me a lot with anxiety is extreme exercise. I exercise almost everyday and I have read that exercise helps with balancing the neurotransmitters in our brain.

So you are enjoying weed again maya?

I am recovering from my comedown fairly well for seven months, but I am still not getting along with mary jane. It sucks, as I want to enjoy smoking pot again, as right now it makes me a paranoid mess.

 

[aq.]

ive dealt with anxiety for years... tried numerous medications, therapy, etc.

this may sound cliche but you have to find the right thing that works for you.

for me, it's buspar, clonazepam and CBT.