• LAVA Moderator: Shinji Ikari

Dealing with creeps in public

warpaint

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 21, 2013
Messages
74
i feel like ive been dealing with creeps almost every day for the past 2 weeks on the transit. it makes me feel so unsafe when a guy makes a creepy/gross comment, catcalls, or is staring at me nonstop when i am sitting near him. there have been many situations where i would get off at a random stop just to avoid men talking to me or when i felt unsafe, and it wastes a lot of time. and just the other day there was this sicko masturbating on the subway platform. he pulled his dick out when i passed him, and did it again as other girls passed him. it still creeps me out thinking about it. (i reported him to an employee at the next stop... but she seemed indifferent...)

i think i have been dealing with more of this because its warmer and im no longer bundled in my parka. but even during the winter, when i was bundled up in my parka, there were creepy men who would get in my face and whisper "hey baby" or "nice" as they walked by, even tho i had my hood on and u could barely see my face. so in the end, it honestly doesnt even matter what i wear. but i feel like because im small, standing at 5'0" tall, creepier men find it easier to approach me. or at least that is how i feel. and i always feel really awkward and uncomfortable because in my head i really want them to fuck right off but i dont want to like escalate it into a bad situation. ive started listening to music more thinking people would leave me alone if my earphones are in but that doesnt seem to work.

do any of u girls on here deal with this on a daily basis and how do you put up with it?? i live in canada, does anyone know what i can carry in my purse for self defense that is legal?
 
Yeah I deal with this shit on a daily basis as well. I live in Australia. I work odd hours so Im not travelling during peak hours so there are less people around. Ive had to change my travel route to escape one guy who wouldnt leave me alone. So it now takes me longer. Makes me angry that I have to alter my life to avoid creepy guys.
 
I have an idea for you ladies that I picked up on whilst traveling in South America to avoid panhandlers in the cities: surgical masks. Wearing a surgical mask will almost always deter anyone from approaching you. People will assume that you have a contagious disease and render you unapproachable regardless of what your appearance or gender.
 
i live in canada, does anyone know what i can carry in my purse for self defense that is legal?

WTF?! Wow this must be in BC, if someone were whipping his dick out on a TTC platform the cops would kick the cunt's face in. Bear mace is legal to acquire (can find it at any outdoors/sporting store) but if you're spotted carrying it around the city you could be charged with possession of a weapon and if you use it on someone you will be charged with assault with a weapon although it's pretty circumstantial. Unfortunately, because of how the criminal code is you have no protected right to prepare for any self-defense scenario so the only options are to risk being a victim or live illegal.
 
WTF?! Wow this must be in BC, if someone were whipping his dick out on a TTC platform the cops would kick the cunt's face in. Bear mace is legal to acquire (can find it at any outdoors/sporting store) but if you're spotted carrying it around the city you could be charged with possession of a weapon and if you use it on someone you will be charged with assault with a weapon although it's pretty circumstantial. Unfortunately, because of how the criminal code is you have no protected right to prepare for any self-defense scenario so the only options are to risk being a victim or live illegal.

:( So are u saying if some guy attacked me in the middle of the night for example, and i pepper sprayed him, that would put me at risk for doing somethig illegal? im confused as to whats considered self defense here. like if a guy were to harrass me.physically i would without a doubt fight back but i dont see why the hell that should be illegal?

Yeah I deal with this shit on a daily basis as well. I live in Australia. I work odd hours so Im not travelling during peak hours so there are less people around. Ive had to change my travel route to escape one guy who wouldnt leave me alone. So it now takes me longer. Makes me angry that I have to alter my life to avoid creepy guys.

It makes me angry too, how us girls have to put in more effort to rly protect ourselves. so many skeevy men

Im honestly so paranoid these days
 
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:( So are u saying if some guy attacked me in the middle of the night for example, and i pepper sprayed him, that would put me at risk for doing somethig illegal? im confused as to whats considered self defense here. like if a guy were to harrass me.physically i would without a doubt fight back but i dont see why the hell that should be illegal?

yea that's illegal. if someone assaults you, you don't have the right (according to the government) to defend yourself with any more force than necessary to stop them from hurting you. basically if someone slaps you and you KO them in response, that's assault. if you're worried about shady creeps coming at you in the dead of night though then yea i'd say mace them, it's incapacitating enough that you can be far away before they even remember what you look like.
 
I always get really loud so that everyone around me knows what's happening. My go to response for when a guy says anything is "I don't need a reason to kill a man." It works.
 
haha I actually like the surgical mask idea cause Im a germaphobe! So 2 benefits there! Kenickie next time I'll give your line a try.
 
I have an idea for you ladies that I picked up on whilst traveling in South America to avoid panhandlers in the cities: surgical masks. Wearing a surgical mask will almost always deter anyone from approaching you. People will assume that you have a contagious disease and render you unapproachable regardless of what your appearance or gender.
Lol
 
http://www.ihollaback.org/ Has some suggestions, you can also search your city as they have various locations.
I agree with getting loud. Most of the creeps enjoy making you feel uncomfortable, turn the tables on them.
 
Use the mace! I really doubt cops will give you grief. It will probably ease the feeling of helplessness just knowing you are prepared.

And although it isn't easy for everyone, I agree with Kenickie about confronting the scumbags. Let them know that you aren't scared of them, and that they are pieces of shit that deserve to be beaten. Of course, I would suggest doing this when you are in a public place so if it does escalate, you are safe.

I'd actually run the risk of carrying a taser, and I would use it on all of the fuckers that creep on you. You're a small woman being harassed by a bigger man - no way would the authorities try and punish you, and the pricks deserve all they get.
 
I live in a fairly rough inner city neighbourhood, and get around late at night on foot quite regularly...I carry my keys on a heavy chain.
I've never had to use it to defend myself, but if I was forced to, it is somewhat reassuring to know that I could do so without resorting to a fistfight...or a knife fight etc.
Also, it is not considered a concealed weapon - or a weapon at all, unless I was forced into a situation when I had to use it as one - in which case I would not be the aggressor, anyway.
Having said this, the two or three occasions people have tried to mug me, I've deterred the fuckers without using any force, which is certainly for the best.

I am conscious of walking with purpose, not making eye contact with shady people or looking like a victim.
Attitude can be everything on the streets.

Acting slightly unhinged can be a good tactic also. At least, it works for me.
I'm a guy though, so I'm not sure if this is of any use to you.
A girl I used to be in a band with had a simple motto for self-defence; go for the eyes.

Make of that what you will.
 
I deal with creepers on the regular, so I just creep harder on them I turn the tables. So yea I make them feel very awkward and I just laugh my ass off.
 
There was this woman who was like obsessed with me or something on facebook recently, and we had i guess mutual friends. And the reason she was in my buisness, or atleast, sort of, was none of her buisness in the first place. She ended up doing that creepy thing where you post similar things and get likes and like masterbate obsessvily about it. Buuuttttttttt. I just pretty much did this up above. Im a male tho.
 
If you lived in arizona I would tell you to get a small .380 handgun and take a shooting class
and carry the gun in your pocket, wherever you go
 
@waffle sock

Are you talking to me orrrr? if so, that's jenna marbles. She's famous for making viral videos. There was one about tricking people into thinking yer good looking. I think she's located in california. Not sure
 
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