Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
Bit by bit over the past few years I've just got control over little things here and there, made mistakes, learned from them, but once you get rid of that feeling of helplessness and realise you can take things into your own hands again it can build up into actual self control. I still waver from time to time, when there are those unexpected emotional stabs out of the dark or whatnot but yeah....take your time, little steps and never let the bastards grind you down.
I now don't drink, don't smoke, don't spend loads of time caining drugs to no end, I'm determined to do something with my life and achieve things and be my own man and carve out my own little space of happiness in life as one of the 6 billion humans also doing their own thing on this mad planet flying through space.....
also when people around you think you are beyond hope, treat you with contempt and disrespect, or dismiss you, instead of letting that get at you, turn it around and think to yourself 'well fuck you guys, you have no idea of who I am and I'll fucking well demonstrate just how wrong you are'.
I think I've just grown up a little aswell lately and I'm not a scared little animal anymore.
Good on you, ceres, and here for you with any support if ever you need it.
Evey xxxx