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she didn't text me back

dr0g

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 5, 2014
Messages
7
there's this girl in my class that I met and we became friends. She has nerdy interests and is kind of shy but quirky. I think she likes me, but maybe just as a friend? She has a ton of nerd guy friends following her around all the time because of her interests and personality that makes her more approachable to those types of guys.

I got her number and we studied together a couple times. But I noticed that I'm always the one initiating conversations with her and asking her to study with me. When waiting for class, she would just walk past me if i'm talking to someone else, or even if i'm sitting by myself. And bear in mind i've been in her house and had dinner with her family so I would think we're on a friendly enough level where she would at least say hi. Stuff like that kind of offended me so I began to just talk to other girls in the class and not approach her or talk to her until she talks to me. She never really did, but the moment I talk to her after a couple days of no interaction she would give off signals like she really enjoyed talking to me? wtf.

Like.. is she just nervous or does she not like me? I finally asked her to study with me again after a long time of not hanging out together, and we got along really well. When she was quizzing me by covering my notes with her hand to see if I could answer without looking, I tried to pull some flirty move by putting my hand on top of hers so that I could move her hand so i can see the answers, but she pulled her hand away really fast lol. But then later on when i went to the cafeteria with her to get food, i told her i changed my mind because none of the food looked appealing, and then she said that she had a car and we could drive somewhere. But class was about to start and I told her i didn't want to cut class. That's some major mixed signals though. Or maybe the signal is clear that she likes hanging out with me, but she isn't attracted to me sexually.

After that I didn't text her or interact with her again because I was waiting for her to text me first. That didn't work out because she never initiates even though I was hoping she would. After a week of no talking I finally texted her something silly and she straight up ignored me. It's been 13 hours. She never ignored my text before. I always see her glued to her phone so I know how much she loves texting haha.

i know this is some petty high school bullshit. we're actually in college though. but i feel really down about this. I can't tell if she ignored me because she just doesn't give a fuck, or if she ignored me because she was hurt that I didn't ask her to hang out again and maybe i still have a chance.
 
maybe, but we've had a bunch of really long text conversations in the past. if she wants to be my friend, why would she ignore me when we're already basically texting buddies? not to say you are wrong, but that's just my reasoning and her actions are very confusing to me so far.
 
^ if a girl really really likes you, you won't have any doubts. The look of adoration they will give you leaves no doubt. It's unmistakable. IME if you're getting mixed signals it's probably because you like her but she doesn't like you back that way. Just focus on other girls and if she likes you she will show you. Trust me if she didn't look at you and smile when you grabbed her hand, she's just not into you that way. Move on
 
I know what you mean, but what if she's really nervous and sees herself as awkward and shy? If I take her to a group of people she hasn't met before, she would hesitate and say "oh.. awkward" under her breath, and just generally give off really uneasy body language and tone of voice.

I think she's fairly sexually inexperienced too... i dont know. Stuff like that leaves doubts in my mind that i'm friendzoned. And you know what, it's the doubt that's really agonizing. If I knew for sure she didn't like me I could just drop it and move on, but right now I keep thinking there's evidence that maybe the reason she's acting this way is because she does like me. But how stupid would I feel if it turns out that the reason she didn't text me back is just because she doesn't really care? hah. emotions are fun
 
^ my advice is to pursue a female that you KNOW has interest rather than one you think *might* have interest. There's so many women out there... You're really f*cking up your game if you're chasing ONE you think MIGHT have interest in you. Move on. IME most girls who've I've shown interest toward that didn't feel the same way suddenly became interested the moment I stopped paying attention. Funny, huh?
 
Hey man feel you, been there. What you're describing in your last post is basicaly Limerence (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence). It's a viscious cycle where the girl gives you enough hints to keep your hopes up but doesn't really give herself to you. You on the other hand are afraid of rejection and you don't demand a straight up answer on how she feels about you. So the cycle continues.

Some girls with low self esteem believe that by using their attraction this way is the only way they can have friends. Mind you, I'm not even claiming that she does this on purpose, so don't take it personally. Some times it comes natural to them.

In any case these kind of relationships are damaging for all people involved. Try to focus on other girls. If there's a chance she really likes you she might get jealous and pursue you. As long as you're always there for her for chatting, texting, supporting her, etc you will be in the friendzone.

Whatever you do, do something. Don't let the cycle go on for ages because it will mess you up inside.
 
^ my advice is to pursue a female that you KNOW has interest rather than one you think *might* have interest. There's so many women out there... You're really f*cking up your game if you're chasing ONE you think MIGHT have interest in you. Move on. IME most girls who've I've shown interest toward that didn't feel the same way suddenly became interested the moment I stopped paying attention. Funny, huh?

yea youre right. I just couldn't stop looking at my phone every hour or so and feeling like shit when she didn't respond. I couldn't get her out of my head. but I guess that's just an emotional issue that I need to work through.

Hey man feel you, been there. What you're describing in your last post is basicaly Limerence (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence). It's a viscious cycle where the girl gives you enough hints to keep your hopes up but doesn't really give herself to you. You on the other hand are afraid of rejection and you don't demand a straight up answer on how she feels about you. So the cycle continues.

Some girls with low self esteem believe that by using their attraction this way is the only way they can have friends. Mind you, I'm not even claiming that she does this on purpose, so don't take it personally. Some times it comes natural to them.

In any case these kind of relationships are damaging for all people involved. Try to focus on other girls. If there's a chance she really likes you she might get jealous and pursue you. As long as you're always there for her for chatting, texting, supporting her, etc you will be in the friendzone.

Whatever you do, do something. Don't let the cycle go on for ages because it will mess you up inside.

damn that sounds so fucked haha. i mean i'm well aware of the friendzone and it's not like i'm her bitch or anything, i did my best to keep the appearance of a man with strong boundaries and a lot of options and things going on in my life. but when you said girls with low self esteem can sense other guy's attractions and use it as a way to make friends, that really struck a cord. Because she always had a ton of guy friends, and one time she told me she felt bad because she knew a guy liked her and she led him on even though she wasn't into it. So I think that pretty much describes her... damn.

guess i better just move on then, that's really messed up.
 
Because she always had a ton of guy friends, and one time she told me she felt bad because she knew a guy liked her and she led him on even though she wasn't into it.

If she's the type I'm thinking about, probably all her guy friends would love to get into her pants and she has very few female friends. I'm glad you're beginning to see that you need to make some changes. Don't just pretend to be interested in other girls, but really do pursue other girls. Best of luck.
 
she really doesn't fancy you.

period.

if you touch me and i back away its not because i'm being modest or shy. its more like " stop fucking touching me"

that explains everything

i have straight dude teases in my life (some of whom touch me unnecessarily which winds me up) and if someone reacted to me touching them like that i would know for sure they aren't into me at all.
 
Sorry, it does seem like she isn't into you. She seems to be the type that is friendly with her friends.

However, if you are into someone, you've got to just go for it and do something about it. It's hard to know for sure if someone likes you unless you actually ask, or do something about it.
:)
 
she really doesn't fancy you.

period.

if you touch me and i back away its not because i'm being modest or shy. its more like " stop fucking touching me"

that explains everything

i have straight dude teases in my life (some of whom touch me unnecessarily which winds me up) and if someone reacted to me touching them like that i would know for sure they aren't into me at all.

but are you a shy girl who seems to have social anxiety and is constantly scared of things being "awkward" and very inexperienced in dating?

I guess I am just not convinced that you guys can tell just from my posts that she's straight up not into me. If that is the case, I would accept it, but there seems to be so much evidence in my mind that it is ambiguous. I could be wrong.

She did text me back the next day, she apologized and said she left her phone at home then knocked out after coming home from work. Not that it really means anything, because here I am still wondering if she's attracted to me or if i'm friendzoned.

Oh, and I guess I do touch her, just kind of playfully. Just normal stuff like putting my hands around her shoulder if something silly happens that makes us laugh. She never backed away. That's what makes me think her pulling her hand away is just some nervous reaction. But I would hate to be the guy who can't take a hint, so if i'm wrong, enlighten me.
 
Look dude, everyone has kind of said the same thing. But you could definitely be right and i'm sure you could spend all day trying to 'figure out' the meaning of every encounter you've had with her (I've been there). But, the only way to find out is to pluck up the courage and just straight up ask her. At least from there you'll be on clear terms. Honesty is the best policy.
 
Look dude, everyone has kind of said the same thing. But you could definitely be right and i'm sure you could spend all day trying to 'figure out' the meaning of every encounter you've had with her (I've been there). But, the only way to find out is to pluck up the courage and just straight up ask her. At least from there you'll be on clear terms. Honesty is the best policy.

well... i don't really want to ruin our friendship by taking that risk.. we're gonna be in the same classes together probably for the next couple semesters and it'll be cool to keep her as a friend/study partner..

the fact that i keep thinking about her sexually when i'd rather she be my friend is a bit frustrating.
 
well... i don't really want to ruin our friendship by taking that risk.. we're gonna be in the same classes together probably for the next couple semesters and it'll be cool to keep her as a friend/study partner..

the fact that i keep thinking about her sexually when i'd rather she be my friend is a bit frustrating.

The choice is yours. I'm an honest person so that's my approach. However, sometimes if you have to ask the question, then you kind of know the answer.
 
well... i don't really want to ruin our friendship by taking that risk.. we're gonna be in the same classes together probably for the next couple semesters and it'll be cool to keep her as a friend/study partner..

the fact that i keep thinking about her sexually when i'd rather she be my friend is a bit frustrating.

Move on bro. So many girls out there man. If she is remotely into you she will realize it when you at least act like you don't give two shits about her. Women are attracted to alpha males who don't give a shit about them. They don't fuck beta bitch boys who hang around hoping to get some unless they get really drunk and even then they regret it the next day.
 
truthfully a friendship that leaves you sexually frustrated is not gonna be good for you.

i say tell her and if its a no move on and find other girls
 
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