General Heroin #19 v. Posting Between the Nods

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tomatalli said:
today is my first day of switching full time [to using IV]... I can't get over how amazing the rush is, I'm in love I think
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Those that have been following the plight of Maggie and Glenn, specifically their reunification and subsequent arrival at the gates of Terminus, might agree that many parallels exist between Toma's situation and theirs. Not the least of which is a renewed honeymoon period and the mixed feelings of apprehension and excitement entering uncharted waters.

My apologies for trivializing such a serious matter. With that said, even the subject of IV drug use can be viewed with some measure of levity.

Maybe Terminus has a methadone clinic? Stay tuned.
 
thats because youre fucking addicted bro

this isnt xbox live wake the fuck up

kind of harsh I guess, but im not sure if youre surprised by that or just restating common knowledge but either way this is what everyone was trying to get you to avoid
 
subotai said:
thats because youre fucking addicted bro

this isnt xbox live wake the fuck up

kind of harsh I guess, but im not sure if youre surprised by that or just restating common knowledge but either way this is what everyone was trying to get you to avoid
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I knew it wasn't a good decision the entire time but I wanna get high and I didn't wanna sniff 15-20 bags to get a subpar high
 
^duuude doing coke on top if being addicted to Ds is like the kiss of death in a way. It has been the difference between being a somewhat functional addict who holds a job and uses on the DL and an outta control crazy junky, at least for me and people I've been around. Something crazy about that coke man. It's one thing during my clean times when I just drink and use a lil blow but add it onto a serious opiate habit and all bets are off
 
I already had my time with crack awhile ago I told my self I would never but it again bc it makes ur habit get a lot worse like everyone else has said. I can't imagine shooting it
 
most of the coke in my area is cut to shit and it always lasted too short for me to really enjoy. Heroin makes my nose feel odd, coke makes my nose feel like its never gonna work again.
 
^^ yeah I was writing about doing coke while addicted to dope, I never even shot it I just started sniffing a lot with an ex gf and then went on a fucking massive crack binge a few years ago so I can't even imagine shooting coke, haven't done it but I'm sure I'd love it. I know I love shooting dope and have a major needle obsession as it is. On a brighter note, I made myself take sub today after going the last few months planning to "start sub tomorrow" I finally have a steady supply so we'll see how this goes...
 
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Mr.Scagnattie said:
^^^

Ahh, damn man. Well, that shit happens. You know that. Some of the worst runs I've went on, have been while I was actively trying to get clean, haha. It's a bitch, but it's how this insidious shit called addiction works. Hang in there, man.
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Thank you for the kind words.

Tomatilli- you should go back to sniffing if you possibly can. Shooting it is what permanently fucked my opiate tolerance up. Don't get wrong I was addicted to snorting it but shit didn't get scary bad until I started putting needles in my arm everyday. It's a rigged game because your playing against yourself. I woke up today telling myself I had no money to score with so I'm not going to score I'm gonna get back back on sub fix my life blah blah. Yeah well about 1030 the withdrawals kicked in so I manipulated my mom for money to score. Classy huh? I swear to god I never thought I would do that. I say it's rigged because you know all your own weaknesses. What argument you will find persuasive to yourself. The fucked part is even once I realized it was happening I couldn't stop that way of thinking.

Now what's insidious is that it was a gradual process that did not happen overnight. I am 8 years into my addiction. I have like a 6 moth using cycle that runs from relapse to stealing everything not tied down and then some combo of rehab and maintenance so far. I am in the 6th month of the cycle right now. And this is my 3rd major time thru the cycle with heroin. Relapsed in August my parents knew by thanksgiving. They where heartbroken but I convinced them it wasn't a problem and moved out of the house. I was cool for a couple weeks but then I started sliding. Gradually at first it was a bag and half everyday. Then 2 now its 60 dollars of good shit to just get well.

I don't know why I wrote this and to be honest it was probably more for my benefit then yours. Because truth is there is nothing anyone could have said to dissuade me from shooting heroin. I wanted to do it and anyone who advised against was no fun or just couldn't be responsible like an adult. I actually remember thinking dumb shit like that. So take solace in the fact your not alone we are here with you. That's why everybody tries so hard to dissuade new users at the point you are at because once your here with us we don't have anymore useful wisdom to share. We are lost as well. And if don't listen it's cool I hope you are the exception.
 
Tomatilli - it is the most painful for older heroin addicts who have been where you are at to watch what is happening to you, because us addicts know how it plays out, even you know how it plays out since you probably wake up sick every morning.

It is especially painful because as crimsonjunk just pointed out, it usually doesn't mean anything once your mind is made up. Even though long term dope fiends are more of an authority on addiction than even some MDs, it's all up to YOU. If we can't convince you to change your behavior, I doubt anyone else will.

I don't wanna speak for others, but it pains ME because it makes me think if only I had listened when I was younger to some of the advice that you're hearing maybe I would've moved on with my life a lot more.

I can't stress it enough, but go back to sniffing man. If you love doing dope, and it sound's like you do, you can keep doing dope for a longer amount of time if you stick to sniffing. Shooting will ensure that you will get strung out quicker and bad things will happen.

Bad things will happen with sniffing also, but your life will unravel more slowly probably.
 
crimsonjunk said:
Thank you for the kind words.

Tomatilli- you should go back to sniffing if you possibly can. Shooting it is what permanently fucked my opiate tolerance up. Don't get wrong I was addicted to snorting it but shit didn't get scary bad until I started putting needles in my arm everyday. It's a rigged game because your playing against yourself. I woke up today telling myself I had no money to score with so I'm not going to score I'm gonna get back back on sub fix my life blah blah. Yeah well about 1030 the withdrawals kicked in so I manipulated my mom for money to score. Classy huh? I swear to god I never thought I would do that. I say it's rigged because you know all your own weaknesses. What argument you will find persuasive to yourself. The fucked part is even once I realized it was happening I couldn't stop that way of thinking.

Now what's insidious is that it was a gradual process that did not happen overnight. I am 8 years into my addiction. I have like a 6 moth using cycle that runs from relapse to stealing everything not tied down and then some combo of rehab and maintenance so far. I am in the 6th month of the cycle right now. And this is my 3rd major time thru the cycle with heroin. Relapsed in August my parents knew by thanksgiving. They where heartbroken but I convinced them it wasn't a problem and moved out of the house. I was cool for a couple weeks but then I started sliding. Gradually at first it was a bag and half everyday. Then 2 now its 60 dollars of good shit to just get well.

I don't know why I wrote this and to be honest it was probably more for my benefit then yours. Because truth is there is nothing anyone could have said to dissuade me from shooting heroin. I wanted to do it and anyone who advised against was no fun or just couldn't be responsible like an adult. I actually remember thinking dumb shit like that. So take solace in the fact your not alone we are here with you. That's why everybody tries so hard to dissuade new users at the point you are at because once your here with us we don't have anymore useful wisdom to share. We are lost as well. And if don't listen it's cool I hope you are the exception.
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I feel your pain crimson. I have the same pattern of cycling clean time and using time and it happens so fucking quick.
 
Dawg stop shooting lol

I ended up on skid row homeless with hep c and 8 years of wasted time

I actually lol on how crazy addiction is the fuxked up part is I got off dope got off subs tryna get off booze now but I gravitated to a group of addicts friends and sorted coke all last night and they are all addicted to oxy so I'm pretty much fucked agAin

Rehab number 10 here I come

What I'm saying is you don't want to be a 26 yeard living on his moms couch selling his food stAmps and waiting to go on interferon for his ailing liver like myself

Thumbs up brah but if your gona keep using like that tom you'll end up in jail in no time

True story

One is to many and a thousand is never enough

Qft
Tbh though if I had cash cash I would be loaded right now as sick as that is with no veins and hep c I would still shoot up and risk being disowned by my family who stuck with me after stealing from them and 9 long term rehabs

Insanity at its finest moment tbh
 
addiction is nothing to fuck with for fun
3 places institutions prison or dead is where this disease will take you ive been to all but 1 of those from this shit
Only rehabbed once thought it was a waste of time and got high within minutes of getting out. Every time ive tried to quit i just go cold turkey with some immodium bud and maybe some xanax. It gets worse every time i go on a run but i still go on that run like no tomorrow.
DWE im almost in the same spot as you bro only no food stamps and i have my own room and car and shit.
 
Ya it's crazy

Esp how I always gravitate to drug addict friends it's like it's the only type of people I can get along with

With sober people I'm like


Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa igtg
 
Fuck. Last week I got my tax return. Just looked at my accout and I hae 28 dollars now.

I hate my life
 
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