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sad story , haven't been laid in over 2years and going crazy

I have anxiety and social phobia too. I know how it is. Please don't take any of my comments as unsympathetic to what you're going through. I understand how frustrating it can be knowing that it's going to take many months to change your body, but in the meantime, you are still seeing other people getting attention on a daily basis.

My point is just that from my own experience, women aren't attracted to the whole justification thing. Girls won't care if you have an anxiety or eating disorder, they can be cruel and just see that as "making excuses." Women like seeing a man who has the confidence to chance his life, has passion for the future, and so on. So you just have to play this up around them. You cannot show any emotion really until you get to know the girl well enough, probably after you've already had sex and the attachment factor is now there.
 
Become rich. A lot fo women dont care what you look like as long as you have money. Look at flavio biatores gfs- he has dated Naomi Campbell, Hedi Clume, loads of models and looks like a sack of potatoes.
 
HI there. Just now getting a chance to read this post. I can relate to the eating disorder stuff.. as a young girl I was on a very competitive figure skating team, and I have very lean but very muscular legs, and was quite a bit stronger than the other skaters on my team. They were all so waif-like, and I was like a muscled machine. I was also about 5'6 (which I still am,) but I always felt a lot bigger than my team mates. None of this caused any difficulty in my performance as a skater, in fact, it was an advantage in jumps and spins. I had the strength and muscle tone to attempt and land jumps that many of them could not, despite being lighter. I was able to get lower to the ground for certain moves and my spins were much more powerful and well controlled. However, with that being said, I was an adolescent, and I FELT different. It didn't matter that I was #1 on the team and that when I competed solo that I always placed favorably, it mattered to me that I was DIFFERENT LOOKING than the other girls. I felt SO hideous. SO HUGE. Like a big fat cow. Looking back on my pictures now, I realize I was crazy. I looked great and did a great job. I was extremely talented and ended up getting into drugs and throwing it all away. I began to slip into the secret world of eating disorders. I was anorexic at first.. making myself go on these crazy fasts and even got so dehydrated and malnourished I would faint at random times. I got pretty skinny and a lot of my muscle mass faded away. With me being a little taller than the rest of the girls, it was very noticeable that I was having issues. I dropped a lot of weight and muscle in a short amount of time and I began to be obsessed with it. My performance began to suffer as a result of these choices, but I did not care, I just wanted to be thin. I wanted to look like the rest of them. Over time people started to notice. So I ended up getting treatment. I hated it. I began to gain weight. I was able to maintain a "healthy" weight up thru college, despite using lots of drugs. In college I gained HELLA weight. I went from 5'6 at 100 lbs and it escalated up to 5'6 at 265 lbs. Once I got so big, I started purging my food to lose weight. Then I was on the cycle again. Now instead of anorexic tendencies I was full blow Bulimic. However I was atypical, as I did not binge on a ton of food then throw up, I would just purge my regular meals, and then exercise until I was nearly ready to faint. I lost 100 lbs rather rapidly. I am surprised I don't have loose skin. Maybe it was my age, or maybe it was all the time Ive spent in the gym.. IDK. ANway, fast forward to today.. I am of normal weight and in surprisingly good health. My bad habits (eating disorders and drug abuse) seemed to have no negative impact on my health other than venous damage from IV use. Sorry for posting so much, but I rarely come across people on BL that have eating disorders, so its nice to have someone to relate to.

I noticed a few negative posts. Sorry about that.. I think you should just disregard those. I think what you should do is focus on YOURSELF first. Because at your weight for your height, you are not healthy. Why not focus on you, get you in shape-mentally, physically, spiritually-then once you are happy with YOU, then maybe look for another. Because honey, I am here to tell ya, you can't love no one if you don't love yourself first. flat out.

If you would like to talk more, you are welcome to PM me. I would love to hear from you.


Good luck and best wishes. <3


P.s. Don't hire a hooker..I was one of those too.. and they just wanna get you off as fast as possible and get you the fuck outta there. It would be a waste of money. :)
 
if you make health a priority (clean diet & plenty of exercise), basically every area of your life will improve, and you're much more likely to get laid. take the time and effort to improve yourself and you'll see results
 
^ this is excellent suggestion.

I find that when I eat clean, and drink my 64oz of water each day, not only do I maintain a thin weight, but my hair, skin, and nails look amazing.

It is true that its 75% diet. My friend who is an exercise physiologist always says to me "You can't out-train a bad diet!"
 
^^

Yeah drinking a lot of water is really good for you. Great for your skin too.

I drink tons of water and my girlfriend just got me started on these "nutri blast" things. Really good and leaves me with tons of energy.
 
^I get on kicks where I drink tons of water but I tire of having to piss every five minutes. That's a exaggeration(obviously) but it is a lot and gets tiresome. Particularly with the work I do. IDK. Def do feel better when I drink bunches of water.
 
rubenr4g said:
i wanted to know what to do in the mean while since it will probably be another half year to a year before I'm skinny again.
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Read up on sexual positions and techniques so that you're ready for all the fucking you're gonna do when you lose the weight! Good luck ;)
 
As a former fat guy, I can tell you that getting girls is 100% confidence. It's easier to build 6 pack abs than it is confidence though. Also, being 21 is pretty tough IMO. It seems that girls of the same age are into guys who are established or have nice things. To make it harder, the girls that do want to date guys that age are in high school or under their parent's thumb. The struggle is real.
 
delta thanks for your post it was right on the money. I'm sorry u had to go through what seems like a very similar story to mine. i abused drugs which lead to the eating disorder and it was hell but look at us now. we are alive and well, something I'm sure u thought was never going to happen in those dark days of the past :)…i can't stress enough how much your post means to me, thanks you again. and you're right on the hooker thing, i don't even want to do it. I'm scared of diseases lol and that just isn't how sex should be, no kissing or the chase of finding someone..its all part of the experience! but I'm just so damn horny haha. i never thought about it much as i was basically dying from the whole ED thing, staying alive was the only thing on my mind but now that I'm ok( and btw Im still losing weight 250lbs now) its really bugging me…21 yr olds r just horny things!!!
 
you answered your own question OP. "when i was skinny i had no problem getting laid".

get skinny.

get off of a drug forum and onto a bodybuilding forum.

figure out your basic metabolic rate and your total daily energy expenditure.

cardio and strength training.



count your macros everyday. be in a caloric deficit of 250 calories.

no more burger king/mcdonalds/crap

welcome to whole foods/trader joes

*snip*



changing your body composition is extremely easy when you have the right tools and knowledge.
 
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i am losing weight but its not an overnight process detroit….my question is how do i get laid right now, while I'm still in the process of losing weight..like any fat guys with some good tips to get some sluts in bed would be nice!!
 
Lost Ego said:
Hello there. Um I hate to break it to you but you're not gonna get laid if you weigh 260 pounds. Maybe if you had a ton a confidence you might be able to get a fat girl...
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I stopped reading the rest of this thread after this horse manure.

I was taking a summer class at a Technical College once to get University credit, and the professor was huge. I mean he was really fat huge, not tall and massive huge. He used to talk about the Atlantic slave trade and how sugar fueled massive demand for slaves and resulted in widespread obesity. Anyways, one day he told us his wife was coming to pick him up anytime, and we would get out of class early because his doctor gave him painkillers and completely fucked him up (he had no tolerance). We sort of secretly prepared to be nice to his wife, who would obviously be ugly or fat or both...but his wife finally walks in, and she is BANGIN. No less than a dime peice, no lie. Every dude in the class just stared at her for like 10 seconds flat at first, before realizing that they had no right to judge in the first place.

The pofessor realized that he had a problem and talked about efforts to lose weight, and I'm sure that his girl would love him just the same. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you are going to lose weight, do it for yourself. Everything else will fall into place if you are happy with yourself and project an air of confidence. Even if that projection is barely visible at first, it is still present and worth admiration.
 
The guy I have been dating since 2012 struggles with wight issues (and sometimes accompanying self-esteem issues); he is about 5'11" and 260 lbs, and was really surprised that I dated (and then had sex with him) after getting out of a relationship with a guy his same height that was 120 lbs. We didn't have an instant spark of mutual attraction because I always thought I was "into skinny guys," but his quick wit, his sense of humour and the high level of respect he showed me ended up winning me over pretty quickly. It didn't hurt that he was honest and straightforward about his feelings/attraction toward me while acknowledging my right to reject him romantically and still be his friend. I wouldn't describe myself as being a bombshell of any kind (I'm about 5'6", 120-130lbs and I think I'm pretty average looks-wise, in that I'm not deformed or anything but definitely see some flaws when I look in the mirror), but I suppose what I'm saying is that it isn't hopeless for you. I think it's more about honesty and confidence than it is immediate attraction, so that is the route I would advise with any potential partners. If your weight is getting in the way of that confidence, feel free to PM me and I can help you work out a caloric intake and basic exercise chart to help you lose some of the weight creating that mental obstacle. I wish you the best of luck, but definitely do not advise the prostitute route... My current boyfriend had the same experience, and ended up paying a pair of prostitutes in a country where such things are legal, and finding that out did a lot more instant damage than his weight ever did, and the choice has eaten at him ever since (since prostitutes typically only do it because of desperate circumstances, are often not doing it of their own volition/are victims of trafficking or physical threats, and are sadly usually rape victims trying to make their trauma mean less in the cases where it is 'of their volition', in his own words). A couple years ago, I had anorexia, which almost ended up killing me due to the stress on my heart and other organs, so I definitely understand living with the self-esteem aftermath of eating disorders. I'm sorry you have gone through the same.
 
I recommend you dont do drugs and you find a nice lady friend. Hope this helps.
 
Dear Rubenr4g
Sorry to read you be going through this. Skimmed the threads leading up to this one; some kind words from others and some not so much. I found your responses thoughtful, all except the "any fat guys with some good tips to get some sluts into bed" comment. I can only assume you said this due to some of the 'jabs' you got from others. I must say, referring to women as 'sluts', well, that could be part of your problem in my opinion. I'll chalk that up to cyber space peer pressure and offer you some advice none the less.

From what I read you seem to be forgetting all that you do have offer. You've dealt with stuff most will never deal with and with this comes knowledge. You are a survivor. You have fought the battle and lived to tell the tale. Don't forget that.
your working hard to treat your body better and with this ought come a confidence that for some reason, seems to be eluding you.

Years ago I dated a man who was so very self conscious of his body weight. I thought he looked great and even better when he carried himself with confidence. Many people here have also mentioned that word. SAy it with me, C O N F I D E N C E.......

Now I get that your feeling frisky, that it's been way too long without human touch. Well then, get out there and strut your stuff. Know full well all you do have to offer and for goodness sake, please don't refer to women as 'sluts'. It's hurtful and rather rude and seems out of form from your character, at least, by what you've shared on this thing.

As far as the dropping the weight, you may already know this but don't mix your proteins with your starches; meaning, no meat with potatoes/rice on the same plate, same time. Bodies have a harder time processing when the two are together and stores the rest as fat. Fruit Smoothies, also a great idea. Miso broth also good but not too salty and lots and lots of dark greens but very important, again, don't mix the meats with the starchy foods and know that because your still young, your body has a much better chance of turning the fat into muscle.

Spending time with prostitutes? Well, it is the oldest profession in the books and though ladies and men of the nights often get a jaded one sided judgemental view, I believe, one can find comfort in the arms of a pro and there is nothing wrong with tending that need if need be. Perhaps if your too uncomfortable with going all the way with a pro, try an escort and take her out to dinner. You may find by simply spending some time with the opposite sex in a plutonic setting will help boost confidence and gain you some insight for the real thing sure to come. Think of it as training wheels and well, if you do decide to take it to the next level, just go about it safely.....and treat them well.

I wish you well and every success in finding Ms. Right. She's out there somewhere right now. But in my opinion, there's nothing wrong with experiencing a few 'experiences' no strings attached. It may be the release you truly need...:)
 
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