Vent/Rant Thread vs I'll tell you how I really feel (Triggering Content)

[angeleyes]

Work is physically exhausting but I'm developing serious muscle from it. I'm pretty happy about that, but because its in the hospitality industry I lose my weekends.

Can't really complain, been sober for a couple months now and the benjamins are rolling into the bank and I'm keeping very busy and very fit.


Overall, things are going really well for me I guess.


Sucks to hear about car trouble guys! I had someone scrape against my car last month. My perfect baby now has a really bad scratch, a re-do on the paint would fix it but since it's a metallic '06 one it would just cost way too much. I'll cop it on the chin and live with it for now because on the outside it looks stock, when I turn the speakers up its a different story.

 

[Carl Landrover]

Dam, Im currently on the side of the road in my car complete with broken drive shaft

Recovery guy came out only to say it was to heavy for him to tow....like they didnt know this before they sent him ?

At least i have my phone whilst I wait for the big flat bed ::D

I read the first line and figured it was a metaphor. I then spent several minutes trying to figure out what you meant, so I read the rest of your post and realized it was not a metaphor. Sorry bout your car

 

[Allein]

^^ I'm a literal kinda guy

To add to the weirdity the car is in fact a Land Rover:D

I'm not up to car repairs at the moment due to some physical ailments, or I may well of had a go at it myself I'm not bad with a spanner but prefer motorbikes or my beloved scooter.

 

[Oxy_Ghost]

^^ I'm a literal kinda guy

To add to the weirdity the car is in fact a Land Rover:D

I'm not up to car repairs at the moment due to some physical ailments, or I may well of had a go at it myself I'm not bad with a spanner but prefer motorbikes or my beloved scooter.

Ah okay, makes sense. A motorcycle is what I'm gonna work towards not that I'm getting clean and will have money once i get a job. All my friends are getting bikes or have bikes and it makes me want one. I love riding motorcycles. My fiancé started riding when she was like 3yrs old and she wants to start again.

 

[Allein]

Ah okay, makes sense. A motorcycle is what I'm gonna work towards not that I'm getting clean and will have money once i get a job. All my friends are getting bikes or have bikes and it makes me want one. I love riding motorcycles. My fiancé started riding when she was like 3yrs old and she wants to start again.

I've been riding more than 25 years and never got hurt, then a couple of years back some moron in a car decided he didnt like me filtering passed him in traffic and forced me into a traffic island ( thing we curb stones in the middle of the road). My left leg is basically ruined which is ow affecting my back, should be OK once they carry out another couple of ops.

It hasn't put me off really but I can't manage a big bike at the moment, even changing gear would be a problem but the scooter has the gear change on the handlebars so I'm OK with that.

 

[Oxy_Ghost]

I've been riding more than 25 years and never got hurt, then a couple of years back some moron in a car decided he didnt like me filtering passed him in traffic and forced me into a traffic island ( thing we curb stones in the middle of the road). My left leg is basically ruined which is ow affecting my back, should be OK once they carry out another couple of ops.

It hasn't put me off really but I can't manage a big bike at the moment, even changing gear would be a problem but the scooter has the gear change on the handlebars so I'm OK with that.

Yeah that's one thing that pisses me off. People in cars have no respect for someone on a motorcycle. Thats one thing that scares me too, a lot of my friends have gotten in wrecks cuz of some idiot in a car thinks he owns the road. I always see so one in a car riding the ass of a motorcycle, if I see a motorcyclist I either pass them if I can or I stay far back

 

[RedLeader]

that sucks
Is your credit blemish rent related??
(Even if it is), you can call up basically every Apartment in the area(especially some of the 12 you may have already crossed off the list) and be like "Hi, What kind of credit check do you require? I have two jobs, and am willing to pay a deposit, but I just tried at Big-Company-Apts, and even though my only credit issue is a Medical Bill, they said my score was too low."

Heh, there's "bad credit" and then there is the kind of bad credit (aka "BADcredit") that you can only really get with a good amount of financial ingenuity and a major heroin habit. Mine would be of the latter type. Yes, it can be repaired, but that's a long process and I need this to happen in the next month.

Apparently some will disqualify you if you are below a certain points level, and others will look to see if you have rent related credit probs.

I don't have any rent-related credit issues, actually. Just one of everything else. It's bad, I would be a good training example for the people at the credit score places. The only real option is cutting a big check upfront and asking them to have faith in me. I thought that this would be easy enough, but it's not turning out to be the case.

Don't feel embarrassed/anxious about calling and asking some questions. Pretty much the worst thing that can happen is you will waste some time. You may find some that you can get past their credit check, or that may require a steeper deposit.

I have tried saying "look, I'll give you four months rent as a deposit and then start paying rent from month one." Even that didn't work.

I do need to sit down and try and find some independently-owned places in the area online. Tomorrow. I will wake up very early and do this stuff tomorrow.

Thank you for your reply!

Are u sure that in recovery you want to work seven days a week?

Of course I don't want to, but it's financial survivalism at this point. It's not really a choice, so I'm trying to see it as an opportunity to stay busy and away from temptation.

What about a roomate?

Don't really have any options here other than going the stranger route. I'm in a new area getting clean, and I've pretty much been a hermit other than work and gym over the past six months. None of my co-workers need a roommate, nor any of my gym friends. I'm a shy and awkward introvert who likes his own space, and finances would allow me to get my own unit, so this is what I'd like to be able to do. I don't like living with other people.

If I have to, then I have to. But I've had this kind of thing go wrong before, and I'm being really guarded right now with who I let into my life.

 

[Maya]

My work situation has gotten worse. There's new projects that need to be rushed and guess who's going to do it all, yours truly. How the hell am I gonna have time to do everything all at once ffs!!

 

[kace]

I'm so frustrated at myself. I messed up getting my subutex script once again and have lost it. Now I'm pretty much forced to go back to using heroin just to get rid of the withdrawals. On Sunday my boyfriend got pissed off at me for saying 'See you later, hope you have a goodnight and feel better soon', as it was in the wrong tone and decided to steal my bike making me feel depressed and pretty stuck in getting to the pharmacy to get my script the following day. (I live out of town and its a good 7 miles to the pharmacy, I cycle as I can't afford a bus and my stupid ex stole and crashed my car a couple years back).
I'm also pissed off at my old co-workers. Last year I was working at a bar and tapering off of benzos. My memory was shit, and I was depressed and suicidal but I honestly tried my god damn best to work my ass off and put on a happy face at work. I got fired when I tried to commit suicide, ended up in hospital and missed a shift. (I never told them why I was in hospital, just that I was ill and in there for bradycardia). Last night I started getting drunk phone calls out of the blue from an old coworker telling me how shit and useless I was at my job there. Argh. I am really hating on life at the moment.. I wish people would leave me alone and stop bitching about me.. I stick to myself and have been trying to get better. I just want to sell my laptop and get enough drugs to successfully end everything this time. I don't want to hurt my family though.. Ugh..

 

[manboychef]

Everything will be okay kace. Your boyfriend sounds awesome...... Are there any other sub docs around you?

 

[ad lib]

I had a mini argument with my new boyfriend yesterday. We've been together for 2 months. Anyway, I am on the pill, totally clean of STDS and STIs and so is he, seeing as he was a virgin before he met me.

Anyway, he's so scared of pregnancy during sex that it make it hard to enjoy. He uses a condom, which is fine, but he also pulls out with the condom right before he ejaculates and goes in the condom. He said he's so nervous because his sister had 3 unplanned kids. That's fine, I respect him enough to honor his condom wishes, but the pulling out before ejaculation seems over kill to me and I can tell he's nervous which just kills the mood. I know it's not all about sex, but it really bothers me. I'm on the pill, we use condoms...it's like he doesn't trust me. He said that's not the case but whatever. I never want kids and neither does he. The last thing i am going to do is trick him into pregnancy. Hell no. It makes me not feel as close and intimate to him during sex which breaks my heart because of how much I care for him.

 

[Black Rabbit of Inle]

Aw that sucks addy, but give it a while and I'm sure he'll relax a lot. Remember he's only new to this And for most guys, after taking that first step into sexuality the only thing on their mind is the horror stories. It's just nerves and you're doing the right thing by being accommodating to him, regardless of how frustrating it is.

 

[Eveleivibe]

I had a mini argument with my new boyfriend yesterday. We've been together for 2 months. Anyway, I am on the pill, totally clean of STDS and STIs and so is he, seeing as he was a virgin before he met me.

Anyway, he's so scared of pregnancy during sex that it make it hard to enjoy. He uses a condom, which is fine, but he also pulls out with the condom right before he ejaculates and goes in the condom. He said he's so nervous because his sister had 3 unplanned kids. That's fine, I respect him enough to honor his condom wishes, but the pulling out before ejaculation seems over kill to me and I can tell he's nervous which just kills the mood. I know it's not all about sex, but it really bothers me. I'm on the pill, we use condoms...it's like he doesn't trust me. He said that's not the case but whatever. I never want kids and neither does he. The last thing i am going to do is trick him into pregnancy. Hell no. It makes me not feel as close and intimate to him during sex which breaks my heart because of how much I care for him.

Addy, I don't think it's that he doesn't trust you. I had a similar fear at one time but was with an emotional abusive bf with Asperger's at the time so just did it to please him. Anyway, if this is a fear for him he is gna do things irrational - like how a person would hesitate when a spider is near or before going near a high drop with a fear of heights.
If I was you I would talk to him about your feelings. You are just as important as he is and it's important to communicate in a relationship.
I do agree with BRoI's advice on giving it time and that it's fear and nerves with him being new to this.

Take care,
Evey xxxx

 

[Mr.Scagnattie]

I had a mini argument with my new boyfriend yesterday. We've been together for 2 months. Anyway, I am on the pill, totally clean of STDS and STIs and so is he, seeing as he was a virgin before he met me.

Anyway, he's so scared of pregnancy during sex that it make it hard to enjoy. He uses a condom, which is fine, but he also pulls out with the condom right before he ejaculates and goes in the condom. He said he's so nervous because his sister had 3 unplanned kids. That's fine, I respect him enough to honor his condom wishes, but the pulling out before ejaculation seems over kill to me and I can tell he's nervous which just kills the mood. I know it's not all about sex, but it really bothers me. I'm on the pill, we use condoms...it's like he doesn't trust me. He said that's not the case but whatever. I never want kids and neither does he. The last thing i am going to do is trick him into pregnancy. Hell no. It makes me not feel as close and intimate to him during sex which breaks my heart because of how much I care for him.

You're on the pill and use a condom? And he's still bugging out about it? Geeze.

My girlfriend got that copper IUD thing last year. It's amazing. No need for a pill or condoms, and the risk of pregnancy is almost non-existant.

 

[anythingbutsober]

having unplanned kids in the family is hard... my fiance's family has at least seven altogether (between his parents & his brother & sister-in-law) so he's always been scared we'll get pregnant accidentally (been together four years & it hasn't happened yet...) i don't want kids either & i don't want to trap him.

so i know where you're coming from. he'll get over it eventually. just explain to him how you feel & how what he's doing makes you feel. he'll come around

 

[sarcophagus.heels]

I had a mini argument with my new boyfriend yesterday. We've been together for 2 months. Anyway, I am on the pill, totally clean of STDS and STIs and so is he, seeing as he was a virgin before he met me.

Anyway, he's so scared of pregnancy during sex that it make it hard to enjoy. He uses a condom, which is fine, but he also pulls out with the condom right before he ejaculates and goes in the condom. He said he's so nervous because his sister had 3 unplanned kids. That's fine, I respect him enough to honor his condom wishes, but the pulling out before ejaculation seems over kill to me and I can tell he's nervous which just kills the mood. I know it's not all about sex, but it really bothers me. I'm on the pill, we use condoms...it's like he doesn't trust me. He said that's not the case but whatever. I never want kids and neither does he. The last thing i am going to do is trick him into pregnancy. Hell no. It makes me not feel as close and intimate to him during sex which breaks my heart because of how much I care for him.

Yeah, the boy needs to chill out. Explain to him that even if you just take the pill correctly, there is almost no chance of pregnancy, and when you add in condom use, it is pretty much impossible. He's being ridiculous. On a side note, thank god for the pill - I can think of few things more horrifying than an unwanted pregnancy. Being on the pill has lessened my anxiety about it by 100%.

So, I've been a mess. I think I might have to beg a couple of my professors for "incompletes", because there is no way I can finish all my work in time, and I don't have the luxury of withdrawing - I wouldn't graduate on time and my financial aid wouldn't cover the extra terms. Seeing as a trimester here is about $15,000, I would be totally fucked. Also, I've been drinking, like, constantly, and I self-harmed last night. I'm not in a good place.

 

[Oxy_Ghost]

Have you thought about an IUD or anything like that? Idk if you have to have a kid first or not cuz we already have one but My fiancé has that. It's been pretty effective. We've had no pregnancy scares.l except for one time we thought she may have had a tubal pregnacy or whatever it's called but that wasn't the case. I know there is some scares with IUDs but for her it's been pretty safe and effective and we've never used a condom since

 

[gr33n3y3z]

^ Yes you need to have a kid before a OBGYN will give you one. But who knows .. I believe girls that put out a lot and then have tons of abortions can get them.

Anyways I'm just so fucking angry at the whole world right now, I'm feeling almost suicidal that's how pissed I am.
I wish I could elaborate why I'm so irate but that would just open up a can of worms that I'm not ready to discuses.

 

[ad lib]

Thanks for the support guys/gals I suggested the depo shot but he was worried about it not "staying in my blood stream". God. I don't know why he just doesn't get a vasectomy. He's almost 30 and doesn't want kids ever. Time to get snipped.

 

[Oxy_Ghost]

Thanks for the support guys/gals I suggested the depo shot but he was worried about it not "staying in my blood stream". God. I don't know why he just doesn't get a vasectomy. He's almost 30 and doesn't want kids ever. Time to get snipped.

Well you gotta think of it from a guys point of view. Most guys see getting a vasectomy as taking their manhood away lol and could possibly lead to mental problems or more like their mind telling them that they're not a man anymore. I for one wouldn't care to have a vasectomy. IMO it wouldn't take my manhood away. Just means you can have sex all you want and not have to worry about gettin their partner or whoever pregnant. I see it as a win-win situation hahaha. Everyone is different though and take things differently. If one idea doesn't work than play around with other ideas