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March Getting Clean Thread v. If I can do it, you can too!

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Thank you!

I am tapering right now, and so far so good.
It is fantastic to see a success story.
My whole taper is about 23 days for a good sized habit, so not too slow, but fast enough for my body to adjust some before I hit zero.
Being "over it" and sticking to the schedule is key; I never dose early and I never take extra...

Just stick to the schedule! My taper was originally going to be for 45 days. I went to 50 as I was not mentally ready. Throughout the taper I was really excited to drop doses as after the first two or three drops(I dropped every 5 days) because I was seeing real progress. However, when it came to the time to jump I was anxious as hell! I had enough left to go another 5 days after another drop so I spent those 5 days psyching myself up. Jumped yesterday as my last dose was on Sat morning. I just got up yesterday and changed up my routine which I had planned out. When I went though treatment 9 yrs ago that was a trick I learned then. Stay busy, listen to your body to know if you're ready to jump. My trigger is WDs so if you need to and can afford it, stretch out your taper! I went from 300mg morphine to 5mg over 50 days! Stick to the taper schedule and listen to your body not your head! One of my favorite song lyrics that helps me a lot and sums me up in a sentence is "Tame these ghosts in my head which run wild and wish me dead." I have to repeat that along with the serenity prayer in my head all day and it does help!
 
Thanks MocMoc,

I just spent some time dialing in my schedule and it looks to be 26 days dropping 20 mg of each type of opiate every two days (average of 10 mg of each per day).

I'm on day three right now. Day one was a big drop to get started (from 240 to 160), today is a smaller one.

It's a bit aggressive, but like I said; I'm over this, and I can take a certain amount of discomfort, so I am ready to push for the goal line.

Just the fear of making the call to get into the 4 day inpatient detox is enough to keep me focused, feeling shitty like I do now can fully imagine the living hell that coming off the dose that I am on in four days would be.

Tapering off will bring me to the point where the last day I will be jumping off a small fraction (whatever amount I am on five days before I hit zero, I haven't looked yet) of what I am taking right now.
 
OxyGhost and Zwanya thanks for the support. I'm at 48 hrs so I guess I can say I've been clean for two days! Probably the 7th or 8th time I've tried to quit and I never made it past 24-36 hrs. I always went cold turkey and couldn't stand it. I did a taper this time. All I can say is if anyone out there decides to quit and is looking at a taper, stick to the schedule. I did it for 50 days and this morning after 48 hrs off I really don't have any physical WD's. Fifty two days ago I was at 300mg morphine a day. It takes determination and don't get too hard on yourself if it doesn't work the first time. I tried tapering in Dec but I guess I wasn't ready to quit yet. I'm doing it for good this time!

You're doing well. Keep going xxxx
 
Just want to say I love this thread! Every time I've gotten clean (third times a charm) has been in March. Something about spring makes me want to get my life together. The 5 yrs I had sober were the best yrs of my life. Space Firebird you can do it, especially if I did! I like you did a big drop right off the bat, cut my dose in half to get to dosing once a day in the am. After that I did a drop every 5 days. I'll post my schedule sometime when I get a chance.
 
OxyGhost and Zwanya thanks for the support. I'm at 48 hrs so I guess I can say I've been clean for two days! Probably the 7th or 8th time I've tried to quit and I never made it past 24-36 hrs. I always went cold turkey and couldn't stand it. I did a taper this time. All I can say is if anyone out there decides to quit and is looking at a taper, stick to the schedule. I did it for 50 days and this morning after 48 hrs off I really don't have any physical WD's. Fifty two days ago I was at 300mg morphine a day. It takes determination and don't get too hard on yourself if it doesn't work the first time. I tried tapering in Dec but I guess I wasn't ready to quit yet. I'm doing it for good this time!

No problem, always here to help:) we're all going though it or have gone through it. The people here are really supportive and I'll be as supportive as I can to anyone that needs it especially since everyone here has been so good to me
 
Not clean yet, but cleaned out my drawers and disposed of all sharps, tourniquets and supplies. I don't even want it in the house. I talked to a real life friend so I have someone to keep me accountable. Haven't Iv'd in over a month. Also lowered my usual dosage. Appreciate all these positive progress stories.
 
Not clean yet, but cleaned out my drawers and disposed of all sharps, tourniquets and supplies. I don't even want it in the house. I talked to a real life friend so I have someone to keep me accountable. Haven't Iv'd in over a month. Also lowered my usual dosage. Appreciate all these positive progress stories.

Hey even if your not clean yet at least your making the initiative to get clean. Keep it up, you'll get there!

Mocmoc and OxyGhost: Bravo, both of you! Be proud that you are making such huge changes, and focusing on your health. Keep it up. And keep coming back to check in. Each day is a victory, and we grow more powerful with the support of others.

376 days.

Tomorrow I'll go to a meeting after work, then out to the beach for some meditation. Hopefully I'll see some whales.

Thanks! Your support means a lot!
 
Man, what is it about going from day two to three? During my taper, day one after a drop was easy, day two was uncomfortable but day three was when I thought about upping the dose due to WDs, I never gave in but it was always the third day that I had trouble. Tomorrow is day three and even though the taper was down to 5mg for five days physical WDs are kicking in (albeit minor) it's sent cravings into overdrive. Just got to get through tomorrow!
 
^^ It's because of the half-life of the substance, most likely. Meaning it takes some time for your blood levels to reflect the new dose today because you still have some of yesterdays dose in you, if that makes sense.

Someone correct me if I'm wrong because I very well may be recalling incorrectly since It's been so long since I've read about this - but I think it goes something like this: If the half life of a drug is 12 hours, then every 12 hours your body has metabolized half of the dose you took. For instance, Heroin has a half life of approximately 8 hours - so T8 hours after taking 200 mgs, you're body has metabolized 100mgs and 100mgs remain. T16 hours 50mgs remain. T24 hours 25mgs remain. T32 hours 12.5mgs remain, and so on and so forth.

In essence, when you're taking a substance everyday and taper your dose it takes a couple days for your body to fully catch up, which would explain why the first couple days of tapering always seem to be pretty easy for people and then the third and fourth days it hits you like a train. It's also worth noting that you can look up a substances "approximate" half-life, but there will always be some variation depending on your own body chemistry, metabolism, diet, exercise, and probably other factors as well.

Hope that helped. Welcome to Bluelight/Recovery Support/Sober living, by the way. :)
 
One week clean!! I'm feeling good. Still got craving like crazy. Everything in my house is a trigger object and reminds me of using like spoons or the waist strap on a robe that we used as tourniquets and even my room cuz that's where we used everyday. I can't leave my house, I have no where else to go so I just have to push through it. And I have something to admit, it's hard for me to say but honestly I have a needle stashed away. I can't bring myself to throw it away. I've tried many times. I had a few of them when I first threw my stuff away but I kept one. I have this really strong feeling that I will use again at least once like on a special occasion(like a birthday but that would be a long time cuz me and my Fiancés bday is in Novmber. And it's worse cuz hers is the 26th and mine is the 28th so there is potential to use twice in a very short time) even if I threw it away I could easily get a whole fucking bag of them. All id have to do is walk into my local grocery store and ask for them and they'll give them too me, it's that easy here.

Also I haven't thrown my weed grinder away. My dad told me to get rid of it but I know I will smoke again. Smoking weed has never been a problem for me, I was never "addicted". Some ppl may argue this but I don't believe its addictive but maybe that's because I've gone through a more serious addiction. The only reason I'm not smoking now is cuz I got DSS over my head. I probably shouldn't keep smoking cuz that's how I got into pill in the first place. Went to get bud but ended up trying oxy.

But idk what to do about the needle situation. The only really really really serious impact the needle would have on me is if DSS came and checked out my house but I'm sure I got it some where they'd never look or think to look
 
Oxy Ghost I know what you mean. I actually have stuff left from my taper, enough to get really really really lit. I'm 72 hrs clean and feeling better this morning. I'm sleeping well cause my pain specialist has me on Gabapentin and that stuff knocks me out cold, it helps with the RLS too. I didn't tell him yet that I tapered off my other script. I'm thinking that I need to find another pain specialist as this one pretty much let me have whatever I "needed" for my back. I've been dealing with back problems for 4 yrs and it seems to be ok without the opiates. I've been doing physical therapy and that really helps. I just can't seem to throw out what I've got left. Even so, I can always get another script from him. The only thing that kept me from using last night when the cravings hit was my fear of OD now that I've tapered and been off for 72 hrs.
 
Smoking weed ain't so bad, IMO.
I always have hard drugs around, it's up to me not to use them.

The way you are talking it is like you are planning in your mind to use use again.
That's the real problem.

I don't know the exact answer, but the trick here is changing that to planning in your mind *not* to use again.
 
Do you mind telling me how much you were on? I have been taking anywhere from 22.5 to 30 mg/day for several years, and now planning to jump. I am terrified because I have to go back to work next Tuesday, and have this big dinner to attend because I won an award at work. Would give anything if I didn't have to go. My son says 6 days may not be enough time to feel normal enough to get back to work. That will mean I relapse, for sure. Anyone have any idea? I know everyone is different, but maybe I am setting myself up with this plan.

Oops, that's hydrocodone (Norco), and it seems this jumped me to another page, I was asking Oxy ghost and mocmoc the question. Sorry, very new, having trouble navigating the sites.
 
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Who are you asking ishmaelmom?
And 22.5 to 30 mg / day of what medication, please?
If you have already been on it for years, maybe you could taper down say 25% every few days down to zero and make it less scary.
 
One week clean!! I'm feeling good. Still got craving like crazy. Everything in my house is a trigger object and reminds me of using like spoons or the waist strap on a robe that we used as tourniquets and even my room cuz that's where we used everyday. I can't leave my house, I have no where else to go so I just have to push through it. And I have something to admit, it's hard for me to say but honestly I have a needle stashed away. I can't bring myself to throw it away. I've tried many times. I had a few of them when I first threw my stuff away but I kept one. I have this really strong feeling that I will use again at least once like on a special occasion(like a birthday but that would be a long time cuz me and my Fiancés bday is in Novmber. And it's worse cuz hers is the 26th and mine is the 28th so there is potential to use twice in a very short time) even if I threw it away I could easily get a whole fucking bag of them. All id have to do is walk into my local grocery store and ask for them and they'll give them too me, it's that easy here.

Also I haven't thrown my weed grinder away. My dad told me to get rid of it but I know I will smoke again. Smoking weed has never been a problem for me, I was never "addicted". Some ppl may argue this but I don't believe its addictive but maybe that's because I've gone through a more serious addiction. The only reason I'm not smoking now is cuz I got DSS over my head. I probably shouldn't keep smoking cuz that's how I got into pill in the first place. Went to get bud but ended up trying oxy.

But idk what to do about the needle situation. The only really really really serious impact the needle would have on me is if DSS came and checked out my house but I'm sure I got it some where they'd never look or think to look

Nice One, Oxy_Ghost xxxx
That's ace!
 
Oxy Ghost I know what you mean. I actually have stuff left from my taper, enough to get really really really lit. I'm 72 hrs clean and feeling better this morning. I'm sleeping well cause my pain specialist has me on Gabapentin and that stuff knocks me out cold, it helps with the RLS too. I didn't tell him yet that I tapered off my other script. I'm thinking that I need to find another pain specialist as this one pretty much let me have whatever I "needed" for my back. I've been dealing with back problems for 4 yrs and it seems to be ok without the opiates. I've been doing physical therapy and that really helps. I just can't seem to throw out what I've got left. Even so, I can always get another script from him. The only thing that kept me from using last night when the cravings hit was my fear of OD now that I've tapered and been off for 72 hrs.

See I didn't taper, I wasn't on a script. I was taking them I get high no wasn't taking high doses. The most I've taken in one day was maybe 60mg. I was usually doing 15mg a day, some times I would do 30mg. The pils are fucking expensive on the streets so that's the only reason my dose was low, we didn't have the money for anything more.

When tax returns came each year that's when my dose would go up to 60mg some times. But that only lasts or around a month or so. We could blow through $4000-$5000 in a month. But anywas I had to quit cold turkey. My fiancé was supporting both our habits on a serving job. I've been a shitty fiancé to her for a while cuz it haven't had a job(but I'm trying my hardest to get one now, I wanna have one before she gets out of rehab) but in todays economy it's hard as fuck to get a job. Working on cars or even landscaping is what I'd like to do but everyone wants someone with real experience. I know how to work on cars, I've never taken my cars to a garage. I've done suspension work, transmission replacement, front end work ect...but I have no job experience for it. Same with landscaping, I did my own shit all summer last year but I have no real job experience with it.

I've applied to an auto parts store as a delivery driver, which reminds me I need to start calling them about it.

I would've liked to try tapering if I could've, idk how well it would've worked since I was on such a low dose. I always told mysel I would quit when my tolerance got over 15mg but I stayed at 15mg for two years up until I quit a week ago, so I just never stopped.

Smoking weed ain't so bad, IMO.
I always have hard drugs around, it's up to me not to use them.

The way you are talking it is like you are planning in your mind to use use again.
That's the real problem.

I don't know the exact answer, but the trick here is changing that to planning in your mind *not* to use again.

Hell id love to be smoking. Even when I was doing the pills and H I would've rather been smoking weed but the only reason I didn't just smoke is cause I didn't want to withdraw. Through my few years of pill use, I almost always went through withdrawals at least once every week. And like I've said before, DSS(and no money)is the only reason I'm not smoking now. I gotta be totally clean of everything. And yeah I know that saying in my mind that I will eventually use again, be it tomorrow or years from not, isn't good but it's a very strong thought at the moment. I guess it's cuz I'm still very early on in my recovery.
 
I know, I went back and added that after I noticed my mistake. I was asking mocmoc but actually anyone that is kicking Norco. I have tried tapering for months, which is how I got to 22.5, but that's only on my days off of work, and I am unable to reduce it further and still function at work, so I take 30 mg/day during work days. So, I took a week off, and have been trying to get ready, but very frightened. I don't want to start and stop. I already kicked the morphine the doc added a long time ago and even with the hydrcodone, it was a month of waking up feeling awful. I have fibromyalgia and low back pain, also a knee injury, but the pain is not as concerning to me as the fatigue I have. My job is very demanding physically and mentally.

Now I feel like I'm whining, so will leave it at this.
 
ishmaelmom, I was at 300mg a day and tapered over 50 days down to 5mg a day and made the jump 3 days ago. My WDs are still noticeable. I feel fatigued and cranky. Had some RLS last night but woke up feeling better. I can't say what will work for you if you taper. Based on what you've said, it sounds like you are maintaining on a low dose compared to me. THIS IS NOT ADVICE but I would cut the dose in half and stick it out for 5 or so days and then cut it by 10% every 5 days. In my experience, 5 days gives my body time to down regulate enough to be stable. It still is a little uncomfortable but remember that's the body healing! Good luck to you, at this point I would say that I'm a successful taper story, it can be done (if you have a will of steel). Write out a schedule and stick to it! It does get easier!
 
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