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Gibberings CLVII: Clinging to all the right places

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mydrugbuddy said:
Because of my tolerance, 1mg will just help relax me and help me concentrate. I attended the whole of my sounselling course taking 1 or 2 mg, no one suspected a thing, and that was without the stimulation of kratom.

I have discovered that taking 4mg leads to me looking fucked, even though i dont feel it. It'll be strictly minimal dose.
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LOL

Just dont take any etiz. PLEASE.

PLEASE?
 
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Benzos + Job Interview = Dicey at best. Obviously have enough in you that you're not going into w/d or getting mad anxiety flare-ups, but beyond that less is very much more, Marmz is spot on - faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar too easy to be convinced everything is just dandy whilst actually digging holes a mile wide and twice as deep. Not gonna put a figure on it cos only you know how much you actually need to get through an interview. But I'd take whatever figure you have and drop it in half just in case. So long as you're not dripping with sweat and wild-eyed with w/d I suspect you're much better off underdosing etiz today.

But whatever you do, good luck with the interview and try not to stress about it too much - it's only an interview and they need you more than you need them. It's yours for the taking if you want it - just remember to let them in on it if you decide you want to stay ;)<3
 
tell them about my drugs problems ? 8o

Many companies have a ZERO tolerance policy towards such things. I'll maybe do 0.5 mg or something as a compromise. My adrenalin will be flowing so much it wont be noticebale, other than 'he looks calm and collected and confident', not 'he looks out of it'. That was my experience during the counselling course i attended, it didnt impair me at all, made the simple act of talking to strangers so much less uncomfortable.
 
mydrugbuddy said:
Narh sorry, i have discovered that this strain of kratom makes me a bit paranoid and anxious when out and about. Thats no way to turn up to an interview.
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okay.

I have no further words. 'cept a reality check is needed. BADLY.

I'll leave you to Shammy. He's far more adept at this than I, and he doesn't run on adrenaline, he runs on patience. He's a bit special like that.

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and yes, good luck today! Hope it goes well <3





.... turning up stoned and not realising youre stoned.
 
swampdragon said:
And FFS, fucking Alanis Morissette.
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You strike me as the Alanis type.

+666 to not doing etiz at yer interview, MDB.

I've avoided etizolam myself this morning, having munched it casually for the past week or so at low doses. I've brought a couple with me to test my willpower more than anything. Don't even know why I bought 'em really.
 
Good luck at your interview MDB, but yeah I'd avoid it too. Only cos of the amount of times I've thought I've appeared sober and had people going 'wtf was that all about?' a few days later. Went to the pub on 3mg when I had no tolerance and my mate says he has no idea how I got served but I thought I was fine.

I have also avoided etiz this morning, but only cos mine still hasn't arrived. Starting to get a bit worried now, ordered Monday first class delivery and still not got it. Mind might have missed the post Monday so we'll give it til tomorrow. When I won't be able to take it because I have my old housemate coming round for a few drinks. Fortunately it seems my high usage hasn't caused any problems bar the relatively mild withdrawals I had when I came back here after Christmas. Tolerance has still been sky high whenever I've used since but avoided any horror stories and it's been over a week since I last took any
 
I reckon I was a bit too careless with the scale, or maybe Diphenidine and AH interact very very well, feeling lovely and dissociated, warm and at peace with the world. I decided against going to the butcher with the car I'll either walk to the closest one(two hours) or just wait the afternoon. HR in action, is you proud?
 
Yeah, I've avoided disasters by not drinking with it. Or having a couple of medium-strength beers at most.

Mental Kenny said:
I reckon I was a bit too careless with the scale, or maybe Diphenidine and AH interact very very well, feeling lovely and dissociated, warm and at peace with the world. I decided against going to the butcher with the car I'll either walk to the closest one(two hours) or just wait the afternoon. HR in action, is you proud?
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I can imagine diphenidine would work well with something like AH. Nice one.
 
Best of luck MDB, really hope it goes well :)

And yeah I agree with what Shambles said, too high a dose would probably lead you to saying things you'd regret without realising.
 
Good luck with the job interview MDB, wish you all the best, I have one myself next week in Brussels, I have to start organizing logistics.

By the way I ended up driving to the butcher but took the unpaved country road, so didn't encounter any other cars except for tractors, took me less than expected, so now I have sausages and steaks.


Just did another 27mgs of Diphenidine, will do some more AH after lunch and go outside in the sun.
 
mydrugbuddy said:
tell them about my drugs problems ? 8o

Many companies have a ZERO tolerance policy towards such things. I'll maybe do 0.5 mg or something as a compromise. My adrenalin will be flowing so much it wont be noticebale, other than 'he looks calm and collected and confident', not 'he looks out of it'. That was my experience during the counselling course i attended, it didnt impair me at all, made the simple act of talking to strangers so much less uncomfortable.
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Whenever I've admitted to having serious drug and addiction issues to an employer I must admit they've tended to greatly surpass my expectations. Had a job as a lace-cutter in a lingerie factory for a while (some of y'all lay-deez may just have had some of my handiwork carressing yer nips 'n' gussets back in the mid-90s =D) and was as settled as I could be at the time. Which meant at least three (often four) days off each week cos I was clucking so hard I couldn't do anything other than sweat profusely and watch the seconds crawl by til wages went in at the end of the week and I could score again. And the days I was in I was nodding so hard the gals would have to give me a nudge to bring me round if a manager came down or it was break/lunch time. Would go in in the morning barely able to lift my head nor keep both eyes open long enough to stop seeing double (which made lining up fiddly bits of lace quite the challenge =D) and often get a couple rocks on tick at lunchtime so be bouncing around in a wild-eyed sweaty frenzy in the afternoons.

It seemed so blindingly, unavoidably obvious that I was permafukked yet nobody ever questioned or queried my somewhat quirky behaviour and manner. As I said, the other gals would literally just give me a nudge if they thought I should probably be vaguely conscious for anything. Never asked why - didn't even hear any gossip or owt, but maybe I wouldn't have been aware if there was. I wasn't aware of much of anything other than the ever-present balancing act of when and where the next dig was coming from and/or had just been had, As such, I almost started to feel kinda guilty at messing them about cos you get to know folk a bit and they were a decent bunch whilst I was taking the piss. So, after taking a good 2-3 weeks straight or so off because I could and nobody was querying what I was or wasn't doing, I decided I'd best talk to the manager about it cos I clearly wasn't actually capable of doing what was expected of me but nobody seemed to have noticed or were too polite (or perhaps baffled and bemused - intimidated even maybe cos drugs can look scary from the outside and especially so when done so very, very intensely and unremittingly).

I basically told the manager that I had a heroin problem and that's why I'd not been in at all for the previous couple weeks and hadn't bothered to phone in or anything to say owt about all this time off. Ya know what? He was soooooooooooooooooo nice about it. Refused to sack me even though I asked him to (or suggested that he probably should because I was truly incapable of meeting even a handful of my supposed work duties and tasks). Instead he insisted that I take as much time off as I felt I needed, get in to see a doctor or specialist about the heroin/crack addictions, suggested seeing either my own doctor or one of the company's docs about related mental health issues (primarily stress, anxiety and depression) and just bent over backwards to try to help me or to at least provide the space and time to work out what exactly I intended to do cos abuse at that level is simply unsustainable and I was bursting out at the seams all over the place. And all whilst still receiving my normal week's wage whether I made it in at all or not. He was actually so generous, thoughtful and kind that I had to resign not long after cos I knew I was just stringing 'em along to get money in my account each week for doing fuck all of much beyond nodding whilst operating heavy machinery.

Bit long-winded, granted, but the possibly relevant bit is that people will surprise you how much they want to help if they feel you really need the help. Admittedly it's probably not ideal to bring anything like that up at the interview stage ;)

But basically, give people a chance to be decent, kind and considerate and they'll often exceed your every thought and expectation. People are great and don't get told it often enough. People as a whole and as individuals. Great so they are. Except the ones that aren't but they're mostly just insecure and could do with some help themselves.

/work/drugs-related ramble
 
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At the place i used to work, before the depot moved years ago we had this rocker drug dealer guy in the office as one of the sales team, he was a good salesman but he was always off his nut, he'd come into work still off his tits having not slept sometimes, saw him nodding at the desk a few times, dunno if it was opiates but he looked munted, this other sales guy would drive off at lunch time, park up and drink cans of lager in laybys, or come into work still ratted

id be able to handle going to work in an office mashed or hanging but my warehouse job was a nightmare when wrecked, those pre ban meph comedowns were a struggle, body lethargic felt like a blob of lead walking around
 
Such employers seem to be getting thin on the ground these days, sadly, Shambles. Corporate fascism seems to have taken hold even more in the last few years; certainly in the field MDB's looking for work in, anyhow.

A real shame, because you genuinely do work harder for companies that make the little concessions, no matter how otherwise shitty the job or the conditions may be. Of course, middle managers are human, but corporate structures are carefully arranged to limit and suppress the human influence within the organisation.

I'm lucky in the respect that my drug 'issues' have always been regarded as part of a deeper personal problem by my current management. In fact, my boss correctly 'diagnosed' me two years before a shrink did!

A lot of places would just have regarded me as a feckless junky though. It's happened to me once before. These days I tend to turn up for work straight, but in the past...
 
Yeah, I've never worked in any kinda officey style o' thing, although I'd always presumed such jobs were more likely to have support systems in place than the more casual, factory/warehouse/donkey work type jobs that I mostly did when I was on the gear. Although it's probably gonna be a bit rare to have quite such an easygoing manager as the one I had up there cos he really was a bit of a gem of a fella. I do think the general point that, on the whole, people will always exceed your expectations is true though. To varying degrees, for sure, but folk are a much nicer bunch than we tend to think of 'em sometimes. Given the chance anyway. Shitty corporate structures remain shitty corporate structures no matter how thoroughly decent most folk who work within 'em may be.
 
Aye, I worked at a factory for a while where it was practically mandatory to be off your face. Was speed for me (tried a spliff on a lunch break, mislabelled five hundred boxes) but some folk would even be at the MDMA. Basically anything that got us through the day. I sort of look back on it fondly now but it was shite at the time. Only person I know who ever got caught was my mate in his major alkie stage having gone into work nights pissed as a newt and fallen asleep in between some racks.
 
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