having a crisis -- in Melbourne -- don't know what to do

[footscrazy]

I am honestly not 100% sure as I have always gone there with an illicit drug problem - but you truly could say you've been medicating with codeine, benzos and so on to deal with your real issue - places like Turning Point etc know that drug use is often a symptom of psychological issues, so in that sense, I really do think they would be willing to help.

Somewhere like reconnexions though, I feel perhaps be your best bet - as they focus primarily on anxiety and related symptoms - whether it has anything to do with drugs or not. When you said this:

My regular GP, who basically accused me of being a hypochondriac because I could hold it together for our 10 min appointment. Because I have an anxiety disorder, he will never do bloodwork or refer me to specialists anyway.

It reminded me so much of my first appointment at reconnexion. Just that they listened to me, and acknowledged that I was going through something so shit. Psychological/neurological symptoms can be hellish but they are impossible for someone who hasn't experienced them to relate to. Just being properly understood when I went there, was such an incredible relief.

 

[poledriver]

There was a show on just before on TV about NZ'ers saying how fucked it is they cant get benefits, it was today tonight or something similar, channel 9 in NSW, I turned it off as I had to do other stuff, just saw the previews. But there are obviously loads of people spewing they are not allowed to get any type of c/link benefits. Just thought I'd mention it.

 

[Halif]

Halif - I'm all for "working the system" personally but I heartily respect your integrity in refusing to play the game like that.

Thank you. Thank you.

My integrity hasn't got me anywhere with the dominant institutions, but I would not have expected less. If anything, my insistence on telling the truth and not going in for this 'play the system' shit has made it clear that I am NOT going to get along well in this new world of role-playing in order to take care of one's own 'needs' above all else.

If that's the mainstream legal system, then count me out.

Fuck that. Time for a new age of the honest criminal. Some laws aren't worth respecting or paying adherence to. They know where to find me because I don't hide or tell lies.

I think the time for playing games and niceties and other lying-into-each-other's faces has run its course.

Welcome the new system.

 

[spacejunk]

^^^

NSFW:

 

[Christ!]

For some reason, I figured a bulk-billing psychiatrist would be shitty ..

Best psychiatrist I've had bulk billed retired now but really cared about his patients, would stick his neck out for me so long as I kept his trust. Took what I said seriously and had meticulous notes he'd keep so was on the ball...never had to remind him about any of the issues I was having.

Centerlink I haven't had to deal with much luckily, so I'm not expert. I always hear people complain but I know we have a lot of services many other countries don't. I'd like to see them focus more on mental illness/disabilities and less on people who stay on benefits as a lifestyle choice. Pisses me off when I hear about how easily some people game the system and then see people like the OP who genuinely need the support to get back on their feet.

Keep trying docdog. Try not to get discouraged in the hunt for decent help.

 

[doctordog]

Thanks again for all your help, everyone. My biggest problem is that at a time like this I just fall into a state of complete helplessness and fear and avoid everything/everyone. I am well-presented, but quite shy/passive.. and depression leaves me feeling quite weak and drained. I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself, but it can be very hard to 'charm' a doctor, there just seems to be something off-putting about me.. like I scream 'neurotic' or something.

Because of my social isolation (and living situation, stuck with emotionally neglectful parents), I have this sensitivity towards others that verges on slight paranoia. The idea of walking into some new doctor's office and sitting down to explain all this again feels like the most terrifying thing in the world right now. I'm just sick of embarrassing myself in front of professionals and being made to feel like some fool while trying to seek help.

I wish I had some drugs right now. I've never been a big user, but they made dealing with this kinda stuff so much easier. Alternatively, a girlfriend or something would be a huge help.

I've done a bit of googling and found 2 bulk-billing GPs who seem to have good reviews.

 

[Christ!]

My biggest problem is that at a time like this I just fall into a state of complete helplessness and fear and avoid everything/everyone. I am well-presented, but quite shy/passive.. and depression leaves me feeling quite weak and drained. I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself, but it can be very hard to 'charm' a doctor, there just seems to be something off-putting about me.. like I scream 'neurotic' or something.

Yeah I'm similar to this. Although I wasn't shy as a kid and none of my friends seem to see me as shy...I definitely am - especially with unknown doctors discussing my inner most problems. I just tend to overthink things and always have as long as I can remember. Do you write stuff down before an appointment? Helps when I do that as my memory is a bit crap and when the doctor sees it might make them take you a bit more seriously.

Because of my social isolation (and living situation, stuck with emotionally neglectful parents), I have this sensitivity towards others that verges on slight paranoia. The idea of walking into some new doctor's office and sitting down to explain all this again feels like the most terrifying thing in the world right now. I'm just sick of embarrassing myself in front of professionals and being made to feel like some fool while trying to seek help.

I've got that kind of sensitivity towards others as well. Can be a blessing and a curse...definitely a curse if you're isolated, anxious and depressed. Finding a decent counselor would help. Just for general support and they can even be an advocate for you and help sort out who else would be good to see (neurologist, psychiatrist etc) Would be best to find someone who specializes in anxiety....but yeah, setting all this up can seem almost insurmountable when you're in that state.

How much codeine have you been taking and how often? I've had akathisia before when coming off a long term opiate addiction, the only thing that helped was exercise (which you said you're already doing) and time.

Could you go back to the family doctor and say you need to see someone sooner? Get someone else to drive you there if you don't think you can handle it? Seeing someone who specializes with mental health is important...GP's can be shit as you've experienced. Even talking to someone on the phone. Any of those places footsy mentioned a possibility? It would be well worth it.

 

[doctordog]

Yeah I'm similar to this. Although I wasn't shy as a kid and none of my friends seem to see me as shy...I definitely am - especially with unknown doctors discussing my inner most problems. I just tend to overthink things and always have as long as I can remember. Do you write stuff down before an appointment? Helps when I do that as my memory is a bit crap and when the doctor sees it might make them take you a bit more seriously.

Yeah, I know what you mean .. I guess shyness isn't like a global characteristic. I can be funny, friendly etc. in the right situations, but I just freeze up and regress around authority figures. I don't write stuff down usually .. I worry it would make me look even more overly concerned ..

I've got that kind of sensitivity towards others as well. Can be a blessing and a curse...definitely a curse if you're isolated, anxious and depressed. Finding a decent counselor would help. Just for general support and they can even be an advocate for you and help sort out who else would be good to see (neurologist, psychiatrist etc) Would be best to find someone who specializes in anxiety....but yeah, setting all this up can seem almost insurmountable when you're in that state.

Yeah, a counsellor would be a good idea .. I've been trying to find a free counsellor via google, but haven't really found anyone so far.

How much codeine have you been taking and how often? I've had akathisia before when coming off a long term opiate addiction, the only thing that helped was exercise (which you said you're already doing) and time.

I take 6-12mg of Codeine (i.e. 1-2 Panadeine tablets) once or twice a day. I only do it about 2-3 times a week. I got a liver infection from Paracetemol once, so am careful with the stuff. The thing is, Codeine doesn't do much for my anxiety, but it completely turns my depression around .. I don't even get euphoric, just feel normal and like I can cope. It also improves my ADD .. it's more stimulating than calming. I ran out yesterday though. I was thinking about trying Syndol, but I'm bad at lying to chemists.

Could you go back to the family doctor and say you need to see someone sooner? Get someone else to drive you there if you don't think you can handle it? Seeing someone who specializes with mental health is important...GP's can be shit as you've experienced. Even talking to someone on the phone. Any of those places footsy mentioned a possibility? It would be well worth it.

Um .. there's two doctors, a family friend and my semi-regular GP who bulk bills but isn't very good. The family friend one has been more understanding about this, and referred me to the neurologist, but he's far away. I have the kind of parents who would act extremely shitty and put out if I asked for a 45 min ride to the doctor, and he's in the wops, so no trains/direct buses.

The other one I could get to myself, but like I say, he just never does referrals or takes much I say all that seriously. I could go back to him and try insist, but I'm so bad at being assertive. I tried seeing someone else in the practice once and he got put out and was like I can't poach a patient from my co-worker :-/ There are like 7 doctors there though, so I could try someone else, but I guess they might also be weird about it.

 

[doctordog]

oh my bad, didn't realize Syndol was just codeine/paracetemol as well.

 

[hopefulraymond]

Best psychiatrist I've had bulk billed retired now but really cared about his patients, would stick his neck out for me so long as I kept his trust. Took what I said seriously and had meticulous notes he'd keep so was on the ball...never had to remind him about any of the issues I was having.

Centerlink I haven't had to deal with much luckily, so I'm not expert. I always hear people complain but I know we have a lot of services many other countries don't. I'd like to see them focus more on mental illness/disabilities and less on people who stay on benefits as a lifestyle choice. Pisses me off when I hear about how easily some people game the system and then see people like the OP who genuinely need the support to get back on their feet.

Keep trying docdog. Try not to get discouraged in the hunt for decent help.

I would just like to second this. As a result of my back injury, I have sunk into depression and anxiety - which I am told is a normal reaction, considering my future is so unknown - and if it wasn't for a psych I was seeing last year; I would have been in some serious trouble, so my thoughts and prayers are with you, and I hope you can get the help you need, ddog. I agree that C'link should definitely focus on mental health issues. I am at a complete loss as to what I am going to do this year. I basically receive minimum wage because of income protection (admittedly, just above the C'link entitlements), but I don't know how I am going to afford continue seeing my psych this year, and beyond. I stupidly, or naively, didn't realise how lucky I was that I had reached the safety net by the time I commenced appointments last year. I'm sorry if this is a rambling post. I tend to get myself in a knot when I start thinking about it all, and I really have no idea how things will pan out. As a bit of background, I have been on endone since early last year for the pain (now up to 4 p/day), however, they are now only reducing the pain for half an hour to an hour, maximum, so I have also taken to codeine intermittently. I also take anti-deps, and have some anti-anxiety meds as well. And with all that in mind, I am so disappointed that only those who are prepared to lie to c'link, or know someone inside, are the ones who get helped. Kudos to you for keeping your integrity intact, ddog. I don't mean to sound all wishy-washy, but that will come back to you (karma). I wish you the best.

(Apologies if I have thread-jacked this - definitely not my intention.)

 

[catching fish]

Thanks again for all your help, everyone. My biggest problem is that at a time like this I just fall into a state of complete helplessness and fear and avoid everything/everyone. I am well-presented, but quite shy/passive.. and depression leaves me feeling quite weak and drained. I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself, but it can be very hard to 'charm' a doctor, there just seems to be something off-putting about me.. like I scream 'neurotic' or something.

Because of my social isolation (and living situation, stuck with emotionally neglectful parents), I have this sensitivity towards others that verges on slight paranoia. The idea of walking into some new doctor's office and sitting down to explain all this again feels like the most terrifying thing in the world right now. I'm just sick of embarrassing myself in front of professionals and being made to feel like some fool while trying to seek help.

I wish I had some drugs right now. I've never been a big user, but they made dealing with this kinda stuff so much easier. Alternatively, a girlfriend or something would be a huge help.

I've done a bit of googling and found 2 bulk-billing GPs who seem to have good reviews.

Sounds like textbook anxiety. It sucks, I know - and I'm sure a shitload of other people on this forum can relate.

Anxiety can really be the icing on the cake (so to speak) and can compound every negative circumstance in your life and the fact that it is completely not conducive with being proactive and getting help makes it worse.

All the best with your physical and mental health.

CF

 

[doctordog]

I called Beyond Blue, and they referred me to their site. However, pretty much every affiliated GP (20+) within 50km of me is in private practice and won't bulk bill, bar two. What is up with that.

I went and saw one, who was like an 80 year old woman practising out of her home. I practically had to yell everything at her because she could barely hear me. Then she wrote me a script for an anti-depressant (which are more likely to induce this kind of restlessness in me, than help it). It was a total waste of time, but worth the story I guess.

I called around a lot and finally found a place called the Monash Family Psychiatry Clinic in Clayton, where you can see someone for like $50. I have an appointment to see a dude next week. I just pray they don't suck.

Barely holding on, suicidal and agitated out-of-my-skull.. every minute is torture. I don't know how I'm doing this to be honest. I feel like I should be in hospital.

 

[footscrazy]

I've seen a bulk billing psychiatrist at the Delmont Clinic in Glen Iris before - there's a whole lot of psychiatrists there, I don't know if they all bulk bill, but it could be worth a try. Also, if you just want a psychologist, you can get a mental health plan from your GP which will mean you don't pay at all for your psychologist appointments, or it's only a small fee of $20 or so. That's what I did when I went to Reconnexions in Glen Iris, think it was about $20 a session after the rebate.

 

[doctordog]

I've seen a bulk billing psychiatrist at the Delmont Clinic in Glen Iris before - there's a whole lot of psychiatrists there, I don't know if they all bulk bill, but it could be worth a try. Also, if you just want a psychologist, you can get a mental health plan from your GP which will mean you don't pay at all for your psychologist appointments, or it's only a small fee of $20 or so. That's what I did when I went to Reconnexions in Glen Iris, think it was about $20 a session after the rebate.

I called the Delmont Clinic because my GP has a massive boner about me going there (they keep dropping off promotional material at his office). The receptionist wouldn't tell me if any particular psychiatrists bulk bill, and said it's up to their discretion .. but that I'd have to pay in full for the first session regardless.

 

[Halif]

because my GP has a massive boner about me going there

That made me LOL! I swear I've had the same experience whereby a GP or psycholgist will just about have to excuse themselves for a toilet break they're so exited about a certain place/person/product.

That was what made me suss about the dud psychiatrist I saw - he told me, in essence, that I had been a very naughty boy in acquiring and using illicit opiates, but he said "methadone" at least a dozen times during the third and last consultation. It was fucking surreal, I walked out on him before the session was over and he was virtually chanting 'methadone, methadone' like a mantra. What a fcuking weirdo. He didn't appreciate it at all when I asked (quite cheekily on my part, I'll admit) why he woudn't prescribe me diacetylmorphine... we all know that's The Thing Which Must Not Be Named in earshot of a doctor, anyway...

Double standards, anyone? Or Double Jeopardy... I love this guy 0 even though it's actually Wheel Of Fortune... Forget the 'crack head part' in the title, this guy's a genius !!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aceuaYKC8lI

 

[Halif]

That video always lifts my spirits. he such a unique individual. Shouldn't have been labelled a 'crack head', that;s just fucked up old way of thinking. Enjoy the video for what it s - fucking surreal and hilarious. Raymond is OK with me. We'd get along just fine, i know it.

 

[Dunno]

(they keep dropping off promotional material at his office). yeah look out for the Abilify pens there

 

[Halif]

^Who? Where? Who's they? PM me please, I'm curious to know more - that is, if you were replying to me...

 

[Dunno]

na that was what Doctordog said, I can't quote for some reason

 

[doctordog]

I've seen a bulk billing psychiatrist at the Delmont Clinic in Glen Iris before - there's a whole lot of psychiatrists there, I don't know if they all bulk bill, but it could be worth a try. Also, if you just want a psychologist, you can get a mental health plan from your GP which will mean you don't pay at all for your psychologist appointments, or it's only a small fee of $20 or so. That's what I did when I went to Reconnexions in Glen Iris, think it was about $20 a session after the rebate.

Do you remember if you had to pay in full for your first session at Delmont, fooscrazy?

The annoying thing about psychologists/the rebate is that you still have to pay the full amount up-front. I just never have enough money to cover the full fee. I wish you could just pay $20 directly.