
haha alan partridge, love that guy..
god im ravaged, playing poker non stop is taking its toll but i must be taking the game much more serious, but beign the dick i am i bought 100 2mg etiz pellets on the 21st nov and have 45 left, i was just smashing 4mg, done little, then 6mg , 8 mg a night, couldnt sleep off it, jsut made me feel restful, this reputable supplier is usually legit, but i think after stopping the clonazepam it has stunned my receptors or something, or i ruined it the first time round boshing 8mg of etiz at night, i been not sleeping well still from these even at doses as high as 12mg :/ . I have 2mg of clonaz stashed, wish i never even got back on the stuff, i feel anxious as fuck waking up, wake up at 4pm, eurghhh stomach is killing, food, i dont wanna wash im too drained... maybe i should leave the clonaz for tomorrow when i wake up :/
just that dirty feeling , shakign tremors, the usual withdrawl symptoms, nothing as bad as i suspect some benzos to be, but the etiz withdrawl is by far worse than clonazepam (the story is i ran out of supply so thought shit what could i buy quick, etiz i know) this time i will be clever and use 1mg a night lmao what a fucking story i tell myself
Now im all fucking raging alot and feeling shitty on the poker, need to get some sleep like now, do u think this 2mg along will 6mg of etiz i have taken will help KO me (i know this is not HR but i need to fucking sleep

) wish i had temazpeam, them fuckers knock you out and u feel ok after 6 hours, im sure if i got my hand on aload of those though they cud get messy..
clonaz at least i was stable, and no mood swings, etiz jsut gives me these mood swings (doing 8mg a night and not getting into bed isnt the best idea) but we alll do it sometimes, if its through self harm/not giving a shit/ taking your midn away from reality/
Its fucking everything at the moment with me though, gone off psychedelics/stimulants (apart from the odd dmt world and mdma once in a blue moon)
but ketamine and benzos are really bad for me, the former being probably the worst, i will sit there and sniff 3.5g in a night nose fucked probably such a waste of ket but i go into this conspiracy world and thought it was all a plot, it was crazy, been doing it for a few weeks but stopped two weeks ago, if i have ket around, its gone, i can sometimes shy away but once i start i cant stop with that stuff, and people (loved ones and stuff) hate seeing me on it, even though i love the trip in a wierd way
i really think i should get myself stable and try some al-lad, it needs to be done! still have this sat here fuck i wanted to try it so badly but no one to try it with lol