DXM addiction - no more fun and games

[PsyOil]

Does anybody else suffer from dxm addiction?

and yes, you can get addicted to cough medicine.

and its a pretty fucking depressing addiction, i'd compare it to an uncontrollable amphetamine addiction.

I was addicted to amphetamines for almost a year (everything from methamphetamine to adderall and Dexedrine and all sorts of amphetamine based medications)
That was, what i thought the most depressing year of my life, having to worry about railing a line every few hours in school, at home, when hanging out with friends.. It was a steady addiction i did put alot of effort into keeping up with my needs.. but the nights where im out compleatly were the worst.. Now i thought that was terrible.. just almost two years ago, i was experimenting with dxm.. when i discovered this i was blown.. It helped me overcome my amphetamine dependence, it raised my grades for a short period of time, it helped me be more socially...not a fucking weirdo? it helpped with alot of things (dosing 200-300mg a day, Not tripping, but in that shifted consciousness zone), NOW almost two years later, i am fully addicted, cant spend a day of my life without getting my daily fix of cough medicine(sounds pretty pathetic too). Dosing up to 900-1500mg a day, with no trip at all, only an altered state of awareness and easing my withdrawal symptoms..
oh that reminds me.. DXM withdrawl with such a high daily dose, if i spend at least 20 hours sober, no dxm at all, i fall into an extremely depressed state, i become extremely suicidal and i have the worst anxiety... I sweat, i puke my gutts out for hours and ill run out of the house just to get a little bit of dxm from walmart at 2 fucking am in the morning.. Thats how serious its gotten ;__;


Okay so lately, with the help of my girlfriend (i know, i cant even believe i have a girlfriend) ive been trying to stay off of the dxm for as long as possible. Ive been self medicating with supplements and other Serotonin drugs, and sadly, ive started using amphetamines again to over come the dxm addiction.. which is fucking hell compared to amphetamine addiction.

Oh also, i'm on house arrest (for something far from drug related, but more art related...) so this might be hell, but its a good way to keep me away from dxm..


Dose anyone else feel the need to be on dxm 24/7 ?

 

[exists]

Yes, I feel the need to be on DXM all the time, be it tripping or afterglowing. I typically take it every 2 days, and my tolerance is such that I can still be satisfied from just 120 mg (though higher doses are where it's at).

I just ran out a couple days ago. I screwed up and failed to leave myself enough for tapering, so today I'm suffering from the dreaded brain zaps. The depression started in yesterday. Thankfully I've got 10 more grams on the way, though I'd really like to buy a lifetime supply to ensure I never run out again, heh.

DXM gives me room inside my own head to "stretch out." I feel much more comfortable inside my own skull and the world in general, when I'm dexing. When I'm dexing, I feel much saner, the world looks brighter, and everything is wondrous again. My mind becomes fertile ground, like when I was young. When I'm not dexing, I go back to my old depressed self, with all the other shit that goes along with that.

Really, I just love being high and tripping. My life is mostly pointless; the best I can do at this time is be happy, love my family and take care of the birds and cat. Sometimes I'll release artwork that gives people enjoyment (not around here), but that's about it. I can't see myself ever having a family of my own; it's just not in the cards. But if I'm fortunate, I'll eventually find a woman who can love me despite my many shortcomings.

But for the time being, I trip. If I could find a cheap source of MXE, or a legit source of ketamine, I'd cycle through all three

 

[Thorns Have Roses]

@psyoil - have you considered seeing a doctor? Obviously you can't be taking them concurrently, but I imagine it's SRI dependency that's causing your w/d, so going for the SSRIs might be a good idea. Anyway, if you feel the need to constantly be on large amounts of drugs, you've got psychiatric issues that might benefit from professional help and the accompanying Rx pad. You might find seeking normality through limited, regimented use of low-abuse liability medications provides for a more rewarding life than trying to drown out your personality and live on the crest of a chemical wave.

That may not be an option for you, for personal reasons (e.g. I cannot seek help for my pathological unwillingness to ask for help, or rather, put myself in a position of weakness with other people), but it wouldn't hurt to consider it.

As for me, after a dozen lower doses, or 2~3 higher end ones, I'm sick of the stuff and need to take multiple months off. This mostly because of side-effects, with other dissociatives I start chasing highs and become completely unmoored from reason.

 

[PsyOil]

Yes, I feel the need to be on DXM all the time, be it tripping or afterglowing. I typically take it every 2 days, and my tolerance is such that I can still be satisfied from just 120 mg (though higher doses are where it's at).

I just ran out a couple days ago. I screwed up and failed to leave myself enough for tapering, so today I'm suffering from the dreaded brain zaps. The depression started in yesterday. Thankfully I've got 10 more grams on the way, though I'd really like to buy a lifetime supply to ensure I never run out again, heh.

DXM gives me room inside my own head to "stretch out." I feel much more comfortable inside my own skull and the world in general, when I'm dexing. When I'm dexing, I feel much saner, the world looks brighter, and everything is wondrous again. My mind becomes fertile ground, like when I was young. When I'm not dexing, I go back to my old depressed self, with all the other shit that goes along with that.

Really, I just love being high and tripping. My life is mostly pointless; the best I can do at this time is be happy, love my family and take care of the birds and cat. Sometimes I'll release artwork that gives people enjoyment (not around here), but that's about it. I can't see myself ever having a family of my own; it's just not in the cards. But if I'm fortunate, I'll eventually find a woman who can love me despite my many shortcomings.

But for the time being, I trip. If I could find a cheap source of MXE, or a legit source of ketamine, I'd cycle through all three

This is pretty on point for me too

 

[PsyOil]

@psyoil - have you considered seeing a doctor? Obviously you can't be taking them concurrently, but I imagine it's SRI dependency that's causing your w/d, so going for the SSRIs might be a good idea. Anyway, if you feel the need to constantly be on large amounts of drugs, you've got psychiatric issues that might benefit from professional help and the accompanying Rx pad. You might find seeking normality through limited, regimented use of low-abuse liability medications provides for a more rewarding life than trying to drown out your personality and live on the crest of a chemical wave.

That may not be an option for you, for personal reasons (e.g. I cannot seek help for my pathological unwillingness to ask for help, or rather, put myself in a position of weakness with other people), but it wouldn't hurt to consider it.

As for me, after a dozen lower doses, or 2~3 higher end ones, I'm sick of the stuff and need to take multiple months off. This mostly because of side-effects, with other dissociatives I start chasing highs and become completely unmoored from reason.

I have seen many doctors, most just try to prescribe me more ssri... I've tried them(mostly prozac) with terrible results. You can't fight drugs with drugs.

 

[Thorns Have Roses]

When I'm not dexing, I go back to my old depressed self, with all the other shit that goes along with that.

Dissociatives make great life substitutes. I think it's most of their appeal. It's why I liked them more than opiates, with opiates I was still there stuck in my non-life, merely apathetic about it, with dissociatives it seemed as though interesting things were happening.

Anyway, of those of you who actually became addicted to DXM, what kind of side effects did you suffer, if any? (I mean from acute administration)

 

[TheAppleCore]

Dissociatives make great life substitutes.

Yeah. I think the key with dissociatives is to use them as life enhancers, not substitutes.

 

[exists]

Dissociatives make great life substitutes.

I would be living a non-life (life in the sense of getting a job, having a family, etc.) without DXM anyway. I am diagnosed as having bipolar II, and am on disability. I went "nuts" a few years back (I tried to get help beforehand, got turned away repeatedly, so I went on a sort of rampage), got a felony for it and lost my driver's license for life. To top things off, I live far away from any real town (though I do prefer the solitude).

Anyway, of those of you who actually became addicted to DXM, what kind of side effects did you suffer, if any? (I mean from acute administration)

I've mentioned this before, but my only real complaint is that when I'm drifting to sleep, I don't lose awareness when "crossing the threshold," and it scares the crap out of me. I'll come out of it gasping. Once that's happened one or two times I can drift off normally.

 

[Hanniba1]

I am not as addicted as I once was. I do go on binges, usually when I order 10 grams. Although, I often get sucrets before work. If I have a few days off I'm definitely going to go to the store for a few boxes of sucrets for a 3rd, or 4th. Actually, it's just dissociatives seem to be my own little world. that is why I am so dependent on them for a fun time. Whether it be MXE, DXM, K, 3-meo-pcp, 3-ho-pce, I love em all to no end.

 

[vortech]

With the data that is available, if you really don't feel like you can get clean and live a normal life, I would suggest getting on MXE and getting off DXM, since preliminary data shows MXE is a bit less toxic than DXM and more legally available than ketamine. Best of luck.

 

[PsyOil]

With the data that is available, if you really don't feel like you can get clean and live a normal life, I would suggest getting on MXE and getting off DXM, since preliminary data shows MXE is a bit less toxic than DXM and more legally available than ketamine. Best of luck.

i mean, can you give me more information on mxe?

 

[Grinders Kiefers]

With the data that is available, if you really don't feel like you can get clean and live a normal life, I would suggest getting on MXE and getting off DXM, since preliminary data shows MXE is a bit less toxic than DXM and more legally available than ketamine. Best of luck.

I would say that MXE is much more addictive than DXM, at least in my experience and from all I've read anecdotally. I don't think switching to a different dissociative is a good idea in this case, especially since there would be some cross-tolerance, therefore not receiving the full effects/benefits from MXE. I've personally never enjoyed DXM too much, but could see its appeal. MXE is/was a totally different story -- it felt like my brain was rewired to continue taking the drug even when logically I knew it wasn't a good idea. Perhaps this is how some react to DXM as well, I just know that it has never affected me in that way. It is unfortunate that this class of drugs can function as acute antidepresants, but I would think that if you become extremely depressed when not on the drug, you are most certainly psychologically dependent on it.

To the OP: I know firsthand how easy it is to switch (back) to another drug when you are trying to keep away from one, but you are just asking for a disaster, mentally and physically. You are in for a rough time, but there is really no other way around it if you truly do want to stop. I would suggest that you discontinue amphetamine usage, slowly taper off the DXM, eat healthy/exercise as much as possible and continue to take vitamins/supplements as needed.

 

[PsyOil]

I would say that MXE is much more addictive than DXM, at least in my experience and from all I've read anecdotally. I don't think switching to a different dissociative is a good idea in this case, especially since there would be some cross-tolerance, therefore not receiving the full effects/benefits from MXE. I've personally never enjoyed DXM too much, but could see its appeal. MXE is/was a totally different story -- it felt like my brain was rewired to continue taking the drug even when logically I knew it wasn't a good idea. Perhaps this is how some react to DXM as well, I just know that it has never affected me in that way. It is unfortunate that this class of drugs can function as acute antidepresants, but I would think that if you become extremely depressed when not on the drug, you are most certainly psychologically dependent on it.

To the OP: I know firsthand how easy it is to switch (back) to another drug when you are trying to keep away from one, but you are just asking for a disaster, mentally and physically. You are in for a rough time, but there is really no other way around it if you truly do want to stop. I would suggest that you discontinue amphetamine usage, slowly taper off the DXM, eat healthy/exercise as much as possible and continue to take vitamins/supplements as needed.

(day 14 clean off DXM) AND I RELAPSED JUST AN HOUR AGO.
these were some odd 2 weeks.. but yeah, i do live a really natural and healthy life. I enjoy running every morning and i eat pretty healthy.
But dxm is like the little parasite thats infected the brain already so it kinda control everything now lol

 

[exists]

^I hope everything's going well, PsyOil, and that even though you have relapsed, you are making the best of it!

Has your 2-week break lowered your tolerance at all?

 

[PsyOil]

^I hope everything's going well, PsyOil, and that even though you have relapsed, you are making the best of it!

Has your 2-week break lowered your tolerance at all?

No :/ I knew I couldn't stay off it, so I thought maybe two weeks would bring some magic back... But it didn't :/ It just feels like the best antidepressants ever now

 

[TheAppleCore]

I would be living a non-life (life in the sense of getting a job, having a family, etc.) without DXM anyway. I am diagnosed as having bipolar II, and am on disability. I went "nuts" a few years back (I tried to get help beforehand, got turned away repeatedly, so I went on a sort of rampage), got a felony for it and lost my driver's license for life. To top things off, I live far away from any real town (though I do prefer the solitude).

Well, I've certainly experienced dissociative addiction myself. And this looks like the same sick reasoning that I would use to justify my usage. The fact of the matter is, as soon as dissociatives become a continuous need, they are beginning to replace your real, healthy needs. Dissociative drugs will take away your motivation to live a better life, because they satisfy you in the same way that genuine living does.

And, in my opinion, to justify yourself by saying that your life is pointless anyway is absurd. You might be severely disabled or inhibited, but there are always positive changes that you can make, no matter how small and humble. And dissociative addiction will steal your motivation to make even those tiny differences.

Now, it's another story entirely if dissociatives are truly playing a positive, therapeutic role in your life. If they really empower you by relieving your depression, then go right ahead. But, the warm blissful intoxication of the drugs can strongly bias your judgment of such a thing, be warned. Again, I speak from experience.

 

[PsyOil]

Well, I've certainly experienced dissociative addiction myself. And this looks like the same sick reasoning that I would use to justify my usage. The fact of the matter is, as soon as dissociatives become a continuous need, they are beginning to replace your real, healthy needs. Dissociative drugs will take away your motivation to live a better life, because they satisfy you in the same way that genuine living does.

And, in my opinion, to justify yourself by saying that your life is pointless anyway is absurd. You might be severely disabled or inhibited, but there are always positive changes that you can make, no matter how small and humble. And dissociative addiction will steal your motivation to make even those tiny differences.

Now, it's another story entirely if dissociatives are truly playing a positive, therapeutic role in your life. If they really empower you by relieving your depression, then go right ahead. But, the warm blissful intoxication of the drugs can strongly bias your judgment of such a thing, be warned. Again, I speak from experience.

i just need to get off probation so i can freely smoke a fat blunt

 

[Hanniba1]

MXE is notorious for me binging on.

 

[exists]

Well, I've certainly experienced dissociative addiction myself. And this looks like the same sick reasoning that I would use to justify my usage.

Please don't judge my reasoning as "sick" when you don't know my entire story. Not that I'm about to tell you or anyone else the entire story, but I will tell you that an ugly truth lurking deep within my psyche for years surfaced back in 2010, and I've been playing the game of Damage Control ever since. (I think finding out actually helped me, since buried does not equal unaffected by. The uncontrollable rage that governed my life is now almost entirely absent.) It is better for everyone that I remain physically separated from society (and high [with DXM I can easily look at my problems objectively]) until I get this sorted out.

I am so unbelievably pissed because there is no help for people like me... none at all! While the world acts like they have the answers -- talking around the periphery of my problem as if they know the score -- the fact is, for all their ceaseless talking, the world is nowhere close to solving the issue.

The only respite I get is when high (or unconscious).

Fuck, these brain zaps have gotten bad. I popped 50 mg DPH hoping to quell the raging storm.

edit 1: Sorry for my tone, TAC. If I were your average Joe, much of what you said would make sense, but my situation is atypical, and one should be careful when attempting to apply common assumptions to all people. It's like people who think they can judge the intelligence of others: it simply cannot be done reliably, and anyone who thinks they can do it is sorely mislead, since there are many types of intelligence out there.

I'm sure there are lots of small improvements I can make in my life, but coming to a full sense of peace and understanding is like solving a puzzle, and society has forced me to fend for myself.

edit 2: I took a total of 100 mg DPH, 10 mg oxycodone, cannabis, and lots of vitamins and supplements. I think the brain zaps are starting to fade away now, thank goodness.

 

[oar9fi]

For someone who is addicted to DXM I wouldn't recommend messing with MXE. DXM is a bit easier to function on, and comes in measured doses, is easy to obtain and while not harmless, nobody can say for sure whether or not MXE is less harmful. Especially if you're young and might get in trouble, having a bag of MXE around could be a bad thing. You'll likely unable to keep yourself out of the bag and unlike DXM, it's not very easy to act sober under it's influence.

If you must use DXM to feel better, uses as small a dose as possible to feel "normal." Also, DXM interacts dangerously with quite a few other drugs so do some research online if you plan to use any other drugs.