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In love with a Whore

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Azure Cloud

Azure Cloud

Bluelighter
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Jul 24, 2013
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freight train
Serious. She is beautiful. I have loved her for years and she is a bit younger than me. She knows my feelings, cares greatly about me, but would never be with me in that way [friend zoned long ago].

She has fallen on hard times and has begun meeting strange men on craigslist. She says nothing is less than $150, but idk if I believe her.

I just feel so worthless now. I have done a lot for this woman, possibly more than anyone else in her life. Always kind and quick to forgive but this stabs me through the heart. Some strange cock can have her for some cash but she still won't be with me. ...it is a rule she says, no whoring with people she knows or coworkers. But it still kills me; I die a little more each day.

Right now I let her stay at my place cuz she has nowhere else to go. She does not trick at my place but she has been picked up there a few times by johns. She has finally saved enough trick money for a running vehicle and 1st & last month rent to get her own place. I hate to say this, but I hope she gets the hell out of my house soon.

I love her and always want to be her friend, but I am so jealous of these dudes that get to fuck her. I did tell her I am beginning to hate her but only because I love her so much. I told her that it is becoming unhealthy for me to be around her. Unfortunately she is more than a little younger than me and says "that is not really my fault".

Idk what I am asking but any input is valued greatly!
 
Hi Azure Cloud, sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time in this situation. I know that out of charity and your feelings for her, you are letting her stay at your place, but it is your place and you have the right to tell her to move out and go. I think at this time it is best that she moves out immediately as this will hurt you more in the long run.

It will not be easy for you to do this but you already know that you don't have a chance so please do your best to move on and find someone who will be with you and who will love you. She has already told you that it's not gonna happen and you've done your best to show her your love so it is time that you start thinking about yourself.
 
sorry to say it man since i know how deep your feelings are for this broad, but kick her ass to the curb. give her a week to get out of your place. and what if you do end up getting with her, how will you deal with the fact that you may be out one night and she runs into one of her johns? id get the fuck rid of her man, shes no good for you. you let her stay at your place and whatever, and that seems to me like shes using you. tell her if she wants to degrade herself and possibly catch an std then do it on her own bc you will have no part in it. sorry if it sounded harsh (and i am so against violence to women i would never lay a finger on one especially some of my exgfs who put me in the red) id toss her ass out in her stripper boots by her hair and throw her down the steps and tell her to get a real job. there are plent of ads for topless bartenders out there where she doesnt have to fuck anyone for money.
 
'medicine cabinet' said:
kick her ass to the curb. give her a week to get out of your place
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This. Now, without delay. Then stick to it.

I'm sorry your heart is being torn apart, AC, but you can't keep pouring your life down the drain after this girl. You can find someone who returns your affections and you will be so much happier. Just take it slow and don't be a puppy dog to the first attractive girl you find. Be your own man and go for what you want (except when it's a lost cause like now) and you will soon forget about her.
 
Maya, MC and johnny, thank you for the replies. I feel like I already knew what to do before seeing on screen, but it is tough. I go way back with this chick. There was a time, when she was stuck in a long term (now over thank god) abusive relationship, when she said that no woman would ever love me as much as she does. It is hard hearing that but watching her actions that seem to say something completely different.
 
All my ideals of beauty are based on her physical form. I am obsessive on her; something about her pheromone profile or something but I feel helpless around her. She says jump, I say "how high my dear?"
It is like her every little imperfection is the standard I judge the perfection of beauty against.
I want a girl with a small pot-belly, not a flat one, because that is how her belly is.
She is not a fat girl, but she is the softest person I have ever felt. Everything about her drives me lustfully insane.
Yes, she needs to get the fuck away from me so I can heal and love again.

But how do I handle being less deserving of affection than an asshole with money. I guess I have to somehow not let her bad judgment affect how I feel about myself, easier said than done my friends.
 
Those assholes with money are not supporting her and giving her a place to live are they? You have to stop obsessing over this girl because she is using you, regardless of your previous friendship and what she said way back then. She knows how you feel about her and seems to have no shame rubbing your nose into her slutty mess. That's pretty cold I think. Why do you think your age difference is a factor?

The end of the month is near so this is the perfect time for her to get her own place. I know you won't say it in a mean way but you could just tell her it's time for her to move along. Like someone else mentioned, she could get a job at a club and make good money without being a prostitute. She has worked regular jobs before right? How long has she been sponging off you? Time to have the talk with this girl. Be strong and quit babying her.
 
Way back when. ( I was a hardcore meth head and hung out with the likes) The only thing I had was a place to live.

They called me captain save a hoe ( lolololo). I was always letting these girls stay in my place hoping to get laid. Most of the time it didn't happen. Thank God because of the STD's I avoided.

You do not want to be involved with a prostitute.
 
This isn't going to be what you want to hear but cut off ALL contact with her and tell her she has to move out. It's like T. Calderone said she's just using you, does not really care about you, and you are better off without her.
 
Get her out of your house. She has plenty of guys... make THEM spend money on her, you don't have to! You owe nothing to her. Not the way she's treating you, she's just using you! She treats you like garbage and you put up with that.

You need to cut off ALL contact with her, there are so many other females out there who will like you for you and not use you like her. You'll find someone else who you actually "love" because THIS is *NOT* love.
 
its like this- some people have hooks like a parasite that get deep into your brain and rewarp your sexual and love ideals around them.

the only way for you to move on is to rid her from your life permanently.

otherwise you will always pine for what you cant have and it will do you no good
 
If you love her as much as you say you do, man up and find some way to take care of her.

My dad was only 21 with no education when my mother got pregnant with me. 3 years later she got pregnant with twins. But he never failed us or complained once.

Then again, he's the kind of person who never stays home from work unless he has over 40 in fever, and despises the weak and incapable (almost military material). But seriously, how could he take care of his children and the woman he loved so easily, while you have resigned yourself to letting her get by as a whore? People are truly different (and I don't mean that in a judgemental way - I actually feel sorry for you for the hell you are in now).
 
1.) Get her out of your house; you're not helping her or yourself by abetting her lifestyle.
2.) Let her make her own mistakes; you can't save her.
3.) You're devoting far more brainspace to this woman than she is to you.
4.) Forget her. You're missing out on countless other potential friends (female, sexual partners, or otherwise) wasting time and mental energy on this one. Life is short, and you don't want to be watching her in a puddle of vomit five years down the road, wondering where it all went wrong and when it's going to get better.
 
I get your point - two addicts struggling together and having drugs as their priority isn't really the same.
 
I appreciate the replies. Some pretty harsh, but real, advice. I did not ask for sugar coating so thank you.

zombywoof said:
could it be more lust than love
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I suspect this is very true and definitely some ego thrown in (by me obviously) for good measure; I can definitely make a bad situation worse if I go in without thinking things through and the smaller head never thinks things through.

Ninae said:
But seriously, how could he take care of his children and the woman he loved so easily, while you have resigned yourself to letting her get by as a whore? People are truly different (and I don't mean that in a judgemental way - I actually feel sorry for you for the hell you are in now).
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Fair enough, but I do work 5 days a week. The economy sucks right now. The girls mother will not take her in for a variety of reasons mostly due to the mother's insecurities in her own relationships, so if any responsibility for this girls actions fall on anyone other than herself, it is her mother.

I let her stay rent free and don't make her pay for food for herself or her son so she can save up money for a place of her own.

........................
on a personal note, I am actually feeling a lot better about everything. When I told her last night that I was not alright with what she is doing, it was like all her face muscles relaxed at once. Apparently nobody has told her that they thought she was better than all this mess. If I focus on being sympathetic to her and not worry about what exactly I want, I do not hurt as bad.

For her part she does have a game plan to get out on her own and she has saved a $2000 in a month.

She actually is not a bad person, just really complicated circumstance.
 
Ninae said:
If you love her as much as you say you do, man up and find some way to take care of her.

My dad was only 21 with no education when my mother got pregnant with me. 3 years later she got pregnant with twins. But he never failed us or complained once.
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He is taking care of her and her son already by letting them stay there rent-free and buys their food. I don't know what else you expect him to do. They are not a couple, your parents situation does not compare. Read his post again before insulting him.


Azure Cloud, I'm glad you got a chance to talk to this girl and told her how you feel. Has she searched for a legitimate job at all? I really do feel that she is taking advantage of your generosity and friendship. How does it work while she's out with her clients, I mean who babysits her son? You deserve so much better. Just my opinion. <3
 
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