Alcoholism Discussion Thread Version 6.0

[Mehm]

glad to hear it hebb. Have you ever had a sponsor that had you call them every day, read the entire book with you, and was integral in working the steps with people? To really give AA a go, you have to read the book and take the steps. Going to meetings is not 'doing aa'. Good luck!

 

[Mariposa]

^^Mehm, I know you've had a lot of success in A/NA. What's your clean time? Do you have a good homegroup? My objections when I went in the past mostly related to the fact that AA was full of creepy men and people who would come to the meetings drunk - both of which just smacked to me of outright disrespect to the rest of the group. The only people available for sponsorship were older males who wanted to meet younger women. 8(

Day 10, no desire to drink at all, DDing for some heavy drinking friends tonight in exchange for help around the house this weekend. I have a 3-day weekend which would ordinarily be an excuse to drink. The half-case of Prosecco (seriously) I have in my garage remains untouched. This has to be a personal record for me.

 

[Mehm]

Hi Mariposa I've only attended AA regularly and a handful of Marijuana Anonymous meetings. At the end of June it will be 2.5 years with nothing more than coffee or a bit of kava. I have several home groups that I love. One is a young people's meeting and the other two are men's meetings. At this point I almost never see my old drinking friends...not that we had a falling out.....we just don't call each other any more. All of my friends are either from the young people meeting or people I've met through the farm I work on.

Most of the people I know with long term sobriety tend to spend most of their meeting time in men's or women's groups. It helps enforce the singleness of purpose which is to recover from alcoholism. If you are still in the bay area I might be able to suggest some meetings as I know a few people who got sober out there. Glad to see you are feeling so much better!
-H

 

[SilverFeniks]

I am by no means a heavy drinker (I am more easily affected by substances than most, it seems), but I probably have not gone more than a week without a drink in 7 years. More often than not drinking most every night (and in bad periods, far too early on the weekends).
I haven't enjoyed the feeling of alcohol intoxication (beyond about 2 drinks) for many years, but as a poly-substance addict it is simply too easy to acquire despite my terrible hangovers from even small amounts.

I thought that taking psych meds that negatively interact with alcohol would allow me to abstain, that probably worked for about a week.
My hard-drinking best buddy (age 30) has been in the hospital twice this year due to pancreatitus from his years of abuse. I thought that would help motivate me to stay sober, but we're both drinking as much as usual. He has 2 DUIs on his record (#2 came after I let him move in with me years ago); its a major miracle I never got stopped or wrecked for all my DUIs (stopped doing that years ago since I learned the consequences)
In my line of work (until recently) i'd see the effect that alcoholism (tied with meth) has on ruining people's lives most every day, but i'd still go home and drink.

Nothing new to say, really .. just incredibly discouraging that I've sworn off alcohol just about every week for years with no ability to abstain I generally pour out much of the liquor and some of the beer I purchase, but a few days later I'm off to the store to blow more $$
AA isn't an option as I'm a diehard agnostic; I rarely see Doctors and have never been able to be honest with them about most anything. My family of life-long drinkers never see anything wrong with their consumption, so I've never been able to admit my problem to anyone short of this anonymous forum.

Facing the harsh realities of my addictions and how they've ruined my health, wealth & life more than ever lately, which still isn't enough. First time in this forum, hopefully it will do me some good.

 

[Mehm]

Hi SilverFeniks, welcome to the forum

The fourth chapter in the Alcoholics Anonymous book is entitled We Agnostics. You can find it here http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_bigbook_chapt4.pdf

Its a short read, hopefully you find it helpful.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Is it true that the more you abstain from alcohol and are sober that eventually you'll get over any cravings you have for it, or for getting drunk when you see how your life is while you're sober and when you compare that to when you were actively drinking and using?

 

[Mehm]

My personal understanding is that my sobriety is contingent on the daily maintenance of my spiritual condition. The few times ive thought about drinking I say "not today", and get to a meeting as soon as i can.

 

[tremours]

Is it true that the more you abstain from alcohol and are sober that eventually you'll get over any cravings you have for it, or for getting drunk when you see how your life is while you're sober and when you compare that to when you were actively drinking and using?

i think my problem is that it doesnt matter wether im sober or not, i hate my life. everytime i think about quittung i run up against the agrument of why should I. Even though i know alcohol makes everything worse, it seems in morning i have to make the choice between another bottle or a blade. i guess im just not strong enough for sobriety

 

[SilverFeniks]

Blew it big time yesterday, simply cos I went to the wrong side of town, where I can never avoid the poison.
I wish alcohol were a schedule I controlled stubstance (as it rightfully should be), that I could throw a molotov in the local liquor store free of prosecution, or that I had magic bullets (rather than the normal variety) to cure this 'disease' (I don't buy that model, its simply a character flaw)
I'm less miserable when I use/abuse illegal drugs; wish I could remember that whenever I forget how horrible alcohol is to me.

If I weren't so petrified of non-digital human contact, I might have solved this long ago .. how do you win a one-sided battle?

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

i think my problem is that it doesnt matter wether im sober or not, i hate my life. everytime i think about quittung i run up against the agrument of why should I. Even though i know alcohol makes everything worse, it seems in morning i have to make the choice between another bottle or a blade. i guess im just not strong enough for sobriety

You're on your way to getting sober. Don't feel bad sometimes it takes people many times. It took the death of a longtime friend who I had grown up with for me to realize I had to stop drinking.

Blew it big time yesterday, simply cos I went to the wrong side of town, where I can never avoid the poison.
I wish alcohol were a schedule I controlled stubstance (as it rightfully should be), that I could throw a molotov in the local liquor store free of prosecution, or that I had magic bullets (rather than the normal variety) to cure this 'disease' (I don't buy that model, its simply a character flaw)
I'm less miserable when I use/abuse illegal drugs; wish I could remember that whenever I forget how horrible alcohol is to me.

If I weren't so petrified of non-digital human contact, I might have solved this long ago .. how do you win a one-sided battle?

My issue isn't really with location or an environment, except for when I was actively drinking daily and lived in a place where I could walk to a lot of bars and get very cheap yet strong alcohol; but it's ex-friends, people who I thought were friends, and acquaintences who try to get me to drink with them and some of these people are alcoholics but they're a few years older than I am and are not sober and don't even realize they have a problem. Most of these people I don't talk to anymore or just will see only a few times a year since we have mutual friends, and if they offer me a drink or want me to drink I just say no thanks and sometimes I'll leave. You're right though I don't like how easy alcohol is to get, and it's very easy for pretty much anyone of any age to get if they really want it. Good luck on getting sober. It's OK to make mistakes or have a fuck up since that's how you learn. I've found bluelight to be helpful since you can write about issues and other people who have gotten sober or had similar experiences to you will let you know you're not alone.

 

[Jabberwocky]

19 days today. I remember it was only 4 days not too long ago, oh how time flies.

My situation has drastically improved, I have regained some confidence to back up my own clarity. Have also lost 6 kilos and am training daily. For anyone who knows me, to be sober for 19 days is a fucken milestone and a half. In saying that I am proud of myself My shit last few months has definitely been an eye opener in terms of what alcohol does. Some of the following come to mind:

- It ends up leading you to live in a car for 3 months as you just can't seem to relate to those who wish you well and are doing well.
- You fuck off the people that count. The one's that actually are friends and decide it's best to hang out with those that can't do anything for you besides maintaining your addiction.
- You end up with type 2 diabetes
- You end up pausing your life and shit on everything you've worked hard for
- You end up being a bad friend to another alcoholic as you just enable them to harm themselves more
- You hide and wait for that magic day to happen that everything is alright but it never comes....

Ah yes, booze. I can't believe I used this substance as a copying tool. More importantly I can't believe I let shit get this far.....

Happy sobriety everyone

 

[gerry978]

Greetings

New guy here. Sober about 18 months. It took a lot for me to face up to the reality of what my life had become, but I did and here I am. Other than my month in rehab this is the first time I "attended" anything related to getting/being sober. I specifically chose a rehab that was not 12 step oriented and fortunately had the means/friends to help get me there. A big issue that cropped up for me is as soon as I got out of rehab my health took a dive..........first a diagnosis of arthritis which was very fast in showing itself, then diagnosis of peripheral neuropathy and then a diagnosis of spinal stenois - all within the past 18 month. Have gone from a fairly vibrant, active guy to doing very little. Taking my dogs on a 2 block walk with a couple of rest stops is about it for me. Lots of anti-inflammatory and antidepressant and antiseizure medication thrown my way with very limited relief. So, now I am sober and had hoped I would feel some increased energy, clarity and motivation, but not to be. Some days I am angry, but most days simply bored and uncomfortable. Well, that's my opener. Thanks for reading.

 

[gerry978]

I was a high functioning alcoholic who became not too functional but continued to pretend I was. There was no one thing that led me to wake up but an accumulation: job suffering, relationship stress, some medical issues (nothing serious), feeling sick every morning. My partner and I began to talk about it and I finally said I had to go somewhere. I knew that I needed to pull myself out of the environment for a bit. I found a place in CA. that was not 12-step based which for me was a requirement. I do know that one thing that helped me get to doing something was my years of therapy....it made pretending much more difficult and awareness made my life miserable until I grabbed hold of it.

I do not attend 12-step meetings. I do not criticize anyone who does, but for me it would not work. Higher power and helplessness are concepts I cannot embrace. I have been a victim for too long a period in my life and it was me who pulled myself out of it with the support of some very important people.

So, good luck to you in whatever you decide. I hope whatever you choose works for you.

 

[tremours]

You're on your way to getting sober. Don't feel bad sometimes it takes people many times. It took the death of a longtime friend who I had grown up with for me to realize I had to stop drinking.]
i made it about a week, then i was walking downd the street and an un opened tall can after that i kept find drinks til i was back on another binge.

 

[caseface99]

Gerry^^

It's "powerlessness" not "helplessness" - There's a HUGE difference. Not even close to the same thing.

Have you ever had a craving? Have you ever gotten drunk when you weren't planning on it? Have you ever consumed alcohol without so much as a thought, it just happened? Did you have consequences, but continue drinking? Did you use anything to help you quit drinking, outside of your own will power? If yes, You're (*almost* without a shred of doubt) powerless over alcohol.

And as far as higher power goes - I dare you to ask 10 people from AA what their higher power/definition of god is. You'll probably be surprised. For me - It's collective consciousness. SCIENCE has proven we are all connected by an invisible energy field. SCIENCE has proven that we are effected by this connection, whether we know it or not. SCIENCE has proven that as well as the energy that connects every living thing, the electromagnetic field surrounding your person created by the heart can effect the people around you as well. So my higher power is this energy, or base "consciousness" that we are ALL a part of. When I interviewed 10 people about their higher powers (for my step two work) only one person gave me the judeo-christian version of "god". It can be ANYTHING you want - litterally. You therapist can be your higher power. It DOES NOT have to REMOTELY be any sort of god like figure you have ever heard of.

Am I saying 12 step is for you? NO. I know it's not for everyone, don't get me wrong. Just pointing something out, that's all - because maybe you turned it down based on a misconception. It's an obvious fact that people get sober without AA, so i'm not refuting that. But getting dry isn't getting sober, just so you know. You need to become a better person, (in my opinion), to stay sober.

Good luck bro, I sincerely wish you the best with your recovery, I know that if you figure out whatever works for you, and stick too it, you'll be fine!

 

[gerry978]

Thanks Caseface99

You are right, and I knew that. I certainly have not thrown out 12 step programs as something I may need. Right now what I am doing is working and feels very right. Alcohol indeed had power over me, but right now I am in charge and it feels good. Maybe there will come a time when this is not enough and I will need a new plan. If that happens I will figure out what is best for me then.

My best to you, as well.

 

[jesse_dimas]

Hey all,

I'm starting a new stint in recovery this year - entered treatment again in January, relapsed at the end of February. My klonopin led me back to DXM abuse, and the heavy DXM use ultimately took me back to drinking. It was unfortunate that I had to do the research myself to learn that all mind-altering substances put me at a risk of drinking.

Things are going well, now. I currently have 4.5 months sober and have no reservations about my drinking. I'm involved with the 12 Steps (on Step 4... "began" work on it back in April ) but I'm now exploring Smart Recovery.. Cognitive Behavioral and Motivation Enhancement therapies seem to suit my mindset more than a spirituality-based program, though I cannot deny that the 12 Steps have helped me immensely. I am hesitant about incorporating the fellowship into my daily life for the rest of my future, but I can't afford to project that far ahead. Furthermore, it is what is helping me to stay sober and recovery is my number one priority.

I'd love to talk with other people in recovery. I'm glad I've found this forum.

 

[caseface99]

^^ Welcome - congrats on your 4.5 months, that's definitely an accomplishment.

Your certainly right about not projecting that far ahead - No future tripping, and one day at a time. Really helps to maintain a positive state of mind if you can keep that sort of thinking at bay. (the future tripping)

 

[SilverFeniks]

Had urges to drink today, but running after work subdued them (and kicked my @$$!)
Can't run every day though, so the rest of the week will be a challenge
Using opiates again on days off, but that's another battle...

 

[ad lib]

Had urges to drink today, but running after work subdued them (and kicked my @$$!)
Can't run every day though, so the rest of the week will be a challenge
Using opiates again on days off, but that's another battle...

Although I never dealt with alcohol addiction (I dealt with opiate addiction) I find running to be EXTREMELY helpful. I wish I had a treadmill so I could run in the comfort of my own home for safety sake.

Keep up the good work