Hi everyone,
Was looking for some advice with regard to APB.
Generally, I'm an anti-drugs person, I have plenty of friends who have done or do drugs but it's never been my type of scene. Around a month ago, it was my first time with Benzo Fury. It was more of an in the moment thing, I wasn't planning to do it that night but sort of just happened. It was my first time on drugs. I loved it. I didn't take that much at all but it was amazing.
Ever since then, I don't think I've been the same. I've had this sort of numbness in my head ever since, the first two weeks or so, it was quite bad but it's sort of got better as time as gone by. However, it still remains today. It's something weird to explain, it's like a numbness/tingling sensation in my brain/head. I've noticed this sensation has changed places as well at times. I did drink while on it but I didn't drink too much. I also took a week off of going out i.e. drinking after I had done it. This tingling sensation is just there, it's weird, I still just get on with life, it doesn't really effect me, I can do my work for university, still go out etc. It hasn't really effected my ability to do things, I still feel the same. The first two weeks I was tired/dazed, my friend even commented on it but I thought that was just normal. I feel fine now, it's just weird that it's still there as I thought it would go. One thing I have noticed, is that it's worse when I'm tired or after I've been drinking. Before Friday, I hadn't gone out in a good 12 days or so (I think) and I noticed it was getting better, although that could of been to do with the the fact that I was really busy. It's a weird sensation to explain, it's a bit like when say you've been studying all day and it's come to that point when your brain just needs a rest and feels fried.
It has worried me over the last month or so. And I do believe it's time to see a doctor, something which I should have done earlier I know. The problem is, seeing a doctor requires telling my parents that I've done drugs. Something I can feel I can do, I've already told them about the numbness but the not the drug side. I'm currently at uni, so I live away from home. The holidays are coming up in a week or so, so I'll probably see a doctor then when I'm back at home. It's just going to be an awkward conversation.
Was just wondering if anyone else had experienced this numbness before? Or does anyone have any advice for my situation?
It was my first time on drugs properly, it was a great experience but because of the after effects, I don't think I'll be going anywhere near drugs in the future.
Thanks.
The most important thing is to not let yourself get too worried. Focusing on it will only bring it to light further and reinforces it. Now I'm not saying you can just will it away, but your thought process has to become more positive. As was mentioned, psychedelics are powerful enough to change how you feel and what you perceive, due to the brain's chemistry which is regulated to stay in an optimal condition which maintains your mental health.
If you feel that concerned, and any amount of self-healing hasn't produced positive results (self-healing methods would be changing the way you think about the situation, physical activities like exercise, eating healthy foods and possibly taking a supplement, taking up a new hobby/project with some passion, meditation, or discussing it with friends and family and gaining support), don't be afraid to schedule an appointment with your General Practitioner. Talk it over with him/her. You could see a psychologist to discuss how you're feeling or even get a recommendation to a psychiatrist from your GP. I'm not a doctor, but from my experience and research, if physical sensation moves around, that can be an indicator of a psychosomatic illness. Also, sleep deprivation and alcohol will put a strain on your body, both physically and mentally, and will exacerbate any stress or anxiety .
Just to let you know, many people have experienced slight changes after taking mind altering substances. Normally it takes time for the serotonin and dopamine (more complex than just these two transmitters) to once again be regulated so you can feel yourself again. Some cases require medication to speed up recovery and manage your neurotransmitter levels for you. It doesn't sound like you would need to be on medication, but honestly it comes down to what ever makes you feel better. And if you have always worried, than an anti-anxiety med would probably not be a bad thing. Again, brush it off and don't let it consume you. I've been down that path recently and had to train myself with positive reinforcement. Though with how severe my condition was, I needed medication to counteract much of the chemical imbalance I had. Once the depression and the psychosis receded, I was better able to get a hold of my thought process and reduce the anxiety as I have always done. I also experienced the common "brain-zaps" which is directly related to serotonin modulation, as is seen from SSRI withdrawal.
I think what Johannes was attempting to convey was that you need to understand and take responsibility for doing something you may question, which may cause you to be in a conflicting state causing further stress because that's who you are, but at the same time you should use that acceptance to put it behind you and not let it hinder you. It's an experience that will make you stronger in the end.
I didn't tell my parents what happened to me. I think I should have, but I didn't want them to worry plus I was ashamed considering I was the one to cause myself harm. I likely would have had more support then the select few friends I told. I was way out there though. Don't beat yourself up over it, it sounds like you are still doing very well. Anxiety can mimic so many ailments and cause your body to feel strained due to your sympathetic system being activated, and stress has a lot to do with it. I will say this though, the human body and brain are very resilient when it comes to repairing itself, especially in healthy individuals (ie no major hereditary diseases or lethal viruses).
There is stigma surrounding "drugs", which in some circumstances it's rightly so. Everyone's body chemistry is different, just like our perceptions, personality, genetics. You start messing with your chemistry, especially the ones that regulate thinking and feeling, and these psychoactives will have a wide range of effects, from intense blissful realizations and feeling one with everything, to extreme paranoia, fear, delusions, depersonalization/derealization, and with some drugs and personalities; addiction. They need to be respected. You
can come away from either experience with more knowledge about yourself.
How you feel going into a session along with your preconceived notions will also drive how the event and subsequent recovery is going to turn out . Think about this scenario: You have been studying for one of your exams day in and day out, and come exam time, you feel extremely confident about passing the test. Since it was a final, you know you just solidified your "A". Barring any extreme circumstances, you will have felt great the entire day. Now on the flip side, you dicked around and hung out with friends, getting drunk and partying most of the semester and come exam day you didn't study, you are going to have a pretty shitty day. Your mind set is very important when your chemistry is being altered to such a degree.
Sorry for the long post. I hope it was beneficial to you and any others. Now back to our regularly scheduled "research".
) but you should be aware of those potential effects and also that it is often vital for a person's psychological and physical wellbeing to debrief and integrate experiences provoked by powerful psychoactive substances. serious psychedelics [on bluelight I'm probably in the minority with this view but I definitely count 6-apb as a serious psychedelic] demand commitment and are often as much 'work' as they are 'play'.
Your problem does sound psychosomatic. Maybe that's not the right word. Sounds like anxiety. Psychedelic, empathogenic, and stimulant substances (like 6-apb) can make an already present anxiety disorder worse. If you do see a doctor, I wouldn't mention that you've been using drugs. Anxiety can present itself in many, seemingly unrelated, ways. What you're experiencing does not sound like a side effect from 6-apb. Did you know your dose? Anyway, keep us posted.