RecklessWOT
Bluelight Crew
Damn dude, I like to party hearty myself, but I do worry about you sometimes. I know you're a big boy and can handle yourself, but take it slow dude. Drugs do kill people you know...
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NSADD Moderators: tryptakid
15th Issue Heroin Discussion v. Be the Death of Me
- Thread starter brutus
- Start date
- Status
Damn dude, I like to party hearty myself, but I do worry about you sometimes. I know you're a big boy and can handle yourself, but take it slow dude. Drugs do kill people you know... 
yea, i know it will catch up to me. but i have a limited time frame (until the summer, really, when i get laid off) that i can do shit like this. i try to keep the dosages low and such but that doesnt ever matter much.
and son of a bitch. just saw a flyer online with my name on it. TOOOOTALLY forgot I had a rave to dj this month. time to pull out a set from my ass. dear junkies: what genre should i throw? trap? moombah?dnb? jungle? idk. leaning towards trap and moombah but who the fuck cares.
edit: fuck yea. my friend just gave me a dime of weed and 20mg methadone for the price of just the dime. hell yea.Last edited:Relapsed recently on stuff. Found a connect in an afternoon (actaually a fucking middle man) on the net, though overpriced and often lame in terms of weight I was getting fire- tar tasting of sweet flowers that knocked my dick in the dirt. Thank God i didnt have to cop south of the border like alot of other people I know. Why isn't there a San Diego/ Southern CA thread- every other person is strung out down here? Or is there?
I was with this one girl who I hid it from while pretty much flaunting it. I got arrested while I was with her (as in dating her, not literally in the same car) and I told her the cops thought I was in the hood buying heroin, and I went on a rant saying how I can't believe they thought that of me, etc... Well she was all like "don't worry, I know you're not on heroin, I could tell in a second if you were on that shit." When we were out at the bars after that some of my friends brought up that they heard what happened, and they couldn't believe how I would tell the story in front of her but with a few details changed around to make me innocent.
I think the first night in bed with her she asked what the mark on my arm was, but she was too drunk to remember even seeing it I think, but I just told her I gave blood or something, I barely remember too. After that I pretty much stopped getting high during the month or two we were together, but I would get high here and there still and she never caught on. One night she asked why I wasn't drinking as quickly with her (I was high on some fire dope so didn't wanna die from the combo) and I just said I took my valium pretty late so didn't want to drink too much on top of it and black out.
Damn, the dude on the computer across from me at the Library is nodding out. First dude was scratching his balls pretty blatantly, now I'm seeing his eyelids droop. I may have to inquire, though broke for the next week or so.Last edited:ya definatly, we go through the phases where i do good for a while and tell her im not on anything then i slowly start using again and getting worse and worse and then eventually she knows but pretends not to. then usually eventually i will get all fucked up and tell her. or be wicked sick and be like dude im fucking sick just leave me alone!! lol. its not really funny tho. then after she finds out she gets all upset. the lats time this happened im like "babe i know you know" and shes just like ya well its diffrent untill i hear it come out of your mouth..
so then i chill out for a little bit and kick the sickness and then just repeat over and over and over
Unbreakable
Bluelighter
I just love how some dope users think they are so slick with usage
but people can tell what the fuck is up to a extent that is for sure
Dope users suffer from something called Denial......It is sure a powerful thing
Well families/friends suffer from denial too. I was arrested a few times for drug charges, both times my parents and some friends knew about it, but didn't think I was using. They were in as much denial as I was I guess. They have that "denial is a drug" commercial out and I think it's alright.
I kinda wish I spoke to the kid nodding out the other day because right after I left the library I got a call from this girl looking for dope, and saying she would hit me off with a bag or some dilaudid if I could help her out. Oh well. Today the person across from me on the computer is drinking a 24oz, so a slight change from yesterday.
i dont get why you do all those differnt types of drugs in one weekend, youre stacking so many how do you even enjoy it?..just relax and chill man, especailly cause you aid your getting fired in a few months...how about saving somemoney for when you get fired?
if people ever ask about me i tell them that its some pills, norks, CHOPPERS, whatever...never admit its dope. even when the cops came into my house and found the lines i had busted out ready to go and they told my mom it was heroin and i was like "heroin??? no way thats heroin, thats just OXY. it just tested positive for opiates and they said heroin, buit really it was oxy and yes i was being dumb and snorting it but it wasnt heroin" i even told the cops the same story that if it really was heroin, my friend lied to me causre i bought them under the context that they were OCs
damn thats a scumbag move man..you cant be putting your buddy in that position, especailly if hes giving you8 a place to stay. i get you got to do your dope but you gotta make sure that shit is put away and not just sitting in the bathroom. what if his parents wouldk have found thatg and his parents flipped? what aqre you gonna do? nothing..youre gonna say sorry and leave while your buddys life could possibly be fucked. family couild kick him out or start demanding rent and drug tests and watching for things missing like money and start snooping in his room when hes not there. or doing anyone other the hundereds of things they could do to make his life miserable cause they think hes doing heroin. i know if that shit happened in my house, i woiuld fuckin kill you myself and you would probably be livin on the streets that night.
the dumbest ive done is leave bowls and a bag of weed on the couch/table cause i fell asleep and went to bed and forgot them or between the cushions on accident cause they just fell out. but having them happen and then having my mom or grandma find them(prolly happens once a year on average and my mom ove even called my chullum "cute")..i did have my grandma find a QP of some dank once. i copped and when i got home i put the weed on the front porch underneath some lawn bags. i did that so i didnt have to stuff them in my pants and sneak it in past my mom and grandma(to get to my room upstairs, you have to walk threw the living room were they watch tv). i was just gonna wait til they go to bed but i got high and forgot and ended up going to sleep with it still on the proch. well it just so happened that the next morning we had the landscapers come by and they found it and actually gave it to my grandma. so im sleeping and at like 9am or so i hear "CHINKY!!!!!!! what the fuck is this???????" and i knew instantly and i was like fuck. so i open my door and i see her standing a the bottom of the stairs with this QP of weed in her hands showing me and i was put on this big scene..i told her that my buddy was going back to school downsouth and was looking for some weed and it just so happened that i knew the right people to help him out. and that i haqd it hidden on the porch cause my friend was supposed to pick it up in the middle of the night. i also told her that i wasnt selling, ijust sorta middlemanned it and made $400 bucks by doing this for him. and i told her to look and went back in my room and grabbed abunch of hundreds and was like look "he paid me up front and i was able to tax him and make 400$ for doing nothing but calling my friend up and going to get it" and as soon as i showed her the cash and told her the story she was actually ok with it and i was like "please dont tell mom, i dont do this often, and it was on the porch cause i didnt want to bring it into the house. i just had a chance to make alot of money and thats why i did it. where else can i make 400bucks for 20mins of my time." and what i did was i got dressed i grabbed a couple buds and a gymbag..i told her that i was going to go drop it off by his house, to get rid of it and ill be back. the gym bag just had cloths in it and i left the weed in my room and i just went out and drive around for 30mins smokin a blunt and then i went home. but she never told my mom and we kept it our secret to this day.
Another dude I know IRL just died, relapsed and OD'd after some 90 days clean. I knew this guy from AA meetings, and he was a close friend-of-a-friend. He really had a way with words and I was able to relate very well to a lot of the ways he spoke about his cycles of relapse-clean-relapse. He just had a little girl and he was trying his hardest to stay clean for her, but one mistake and he's no longer with us. RIP
It's kinda scary since my friend wanted me to help her get H the other day "for a friend," and it turns out that it was this dude shopping around on the morning of the day that he died. I didn't end up helping them, but he obviously still got it and it was just a little too good. I know that around BL it's common sense, but still we gotta all remind everyone we know that relapses after breaks need to be smaller than usual to account for lowered tolerance. I'm 99% sure that that is how this guy went down. Know your source, test a small amount of a new batch first before shooting away, always have a friend around if you're going to chase a strong rush, etc. We gotta all do our best to spread the HR knowledge we have learned on BL to our friends who might not be as "in the know," might not have computers at all, and so on. This is another one that's just too close, I've seen at least 4 people around me go down over the past 8 months. PLEASE EVERYONE BE CAREFUL!
I'm very close to having a plan ready for taking my extended trip across the country. I am pumped, I need to do this ASAP. I'm waiting on one of my dudes to come through for me with Suboxone (for some reason, in my area it's become really hard to get Subs on the street), and grab a few of them and set my eyes on the distant shores and being dope-free. The cost of my habit has become prohibitively expensive and my morals will go down the drain if I try and keep going, so the right decision for me to make is to take my friend up on his offer to let me crash with him out West and take off as soon as I get those Subs (or some benzos...Don't really care if the trip hurts a bit, I just don't want to be in absolute agony).
get the subs and not the benzos if you have a choice. the subs will atleast keep you from getting sick, the benzos wont, they just might help you sleep. i would also look for some weed if i were you. i dread taking subs but after i do take one and then smoke some weed, its the bst cause the subs take the sick away but you still might have a craving mentally and thats where the weed comes in. it helps you forget the craving and gets you to eat and sleep and just go about being normal with out thinking about wantign to score every 5mins.
i guess if you threw a benzo on top iof the weed and subs you might actually feel extra good. but eitherway if yu have to choose go wit hthe subs and some weedLast edited:This dude at the library is nodding like crazy again. I'm gonna talk to him when he comes to and see what's good.
Edit: I spoke to him and he's working on getting me a few bags. The money is not leaving my hands until I get them. If he says the dealer don't wanna see me I'm gonna tell him to grab the bags and run them over to me and then I'll pay him, and he can run back and give the dude the bread. His dudes phone was off though so idk if it will happen.Last edited:
Mzral
Bluelighter
Haha, you are very opinionated there is no denying that.
I wasn't living at his place or anything at the time, we were just hanging out all weekend doing drugs. He mainly sticks with oxy but he will use heroin when he's with me. His ex g/f who he's been hanging around with again apparently got into h now and he won't even use with her. Not sure while he'll only use with me. My dude is in his late 20's and lives off of his parents. He works a few nights a week at a bar, bouncing. He's got a drinking problem for sure and he's had to be bailed out of situations that wind up involving the law that make my heroin usage seem like choir boy activities.
Honestly, why shouldn't his parents demand that he contribute? He's almost 30 and they take care of all of his expenses. If he doesn't learn how to live on his own now, what happens when his rents kick the bucket?
Now how would I stay on a street if you killed me first? I'd be deceased I thought, tough guy?
I certainly wouldn't be living on no street any night, I'd just go to where i live...
What you said is a little dramatic over someone finding drugs. Besides, for sake of argument, say they found it. I could have said it was anything BUT heroin. I could have said it was K for christs sake. But here's the thing, his dad knows he uses roxi's and since he had major knee surgery years back, he got into using opioids recreationally (his old man that is). So his dad will throw him some cash to pick him up some 30's once in awhile.
And here's the revelation: His parents know I use heroin and they don't judge me for it. Despite being a user, I'm highly motivated, responsible, hold down a great job, and don't get myself into trouble (aside from the normal risk of running into the law, from copping, which we all run the risk of as users). They actually like when I'm around because I keep my friend level-headed and act as a designated driver when he gets hammered. I just choose to use in their bathroom if I'm over there because I personally would feel awkward fixing up in front of his parents, hell even snorting it I wouldn't do in front of them. I need some privacy in certain situations when I'm going to use, so there you have it. But yeah, opiates are familiar in that household, so it isn't at all like the situation that was speculated upon. My friend lives pretty well off, not totally rich but definitely upper upper middle class and his dad makes good money and even has connections. So they're just like every day people. Opiates aren't just for the back alley homeless scumbags that everyone thinks they're for (and I don't mean anyone here thinks that way, but our society in general)
What happened I think, was that I put the dope inside of a cap, so actually the bag wasn't even visible to anyone, so no one would have even known what it was, except for me basically. When I was putting stuff away, I was knelt down on the floor putting stuff in my bag and it was by that grate I mentioned. It just must have slipped out of my hand or who knows what, and it just found itself right on the corner of the grate, chilling out. It was small so I could see how no one knowing it was there wouldn't even see something like that, in that spot.
BlueHues
Bluelighter
^Worse shit has happened, thats for sure! Who hasn't done dumb shit when they were high! Now, robbing the people that are giving you a place to stay, THATS a scumbag move!
Mr.Scagnattie
Bluelighter
Yeah that's usually a sure fire way to get the boot, hah.
brutus
Bluelight Crew
I normally buy things when I am on opiates, such as tarantulas. I wanted to look at one up close, so I was going to take it out of it's cage and the owner of the store said I'm dialing 911 when you get bit. He had the phone in his hand and everything.
Too bad the last one died...
BlueHues
Bluelighter
Most dopefiends will just deny everything, no matter how incriminating the evidence!
I still do that even off dope. It's a reflex.
Mzral
Bluelighter
Yeah, I mean I've always been on top of knowing where my gear is. It's important for me to have it so I don't get sick, so it comes natural for me to make a point to stash it in a familiar place that is safe and secure.
That particular night was sort of unique. I was just really high, nodding in and out of consciousness, and was running on no sleep during that last hit. It's weird because I was putting everything away in their proper places. I have my backpack and a system in place where specific accessories going in specific spots, it never changes. I had put everything away neat and organized, so how the dope of all things slipped out of my possession is beyond me.
What had me worried in my original post was that I had misplaced it forever; never to be found again. It would have driven me insane to know that somewhere out there, my bag full of dope was lost and irretrievable.- Status
