Any nootropic tips for anxiety and depression??
Hello,
I've had some very interesting experiences with nootropics lately and I was hoping to get some advice from people with more experience. I suffer from chronic depression, anxiety, and low libido that has been going on for about 20 years (I am currently 42), although I had low grade dysthymia and social anxiety disorder going back to when I was in pre-kindergarten. I believe that using LSD and Ecstasy, while very enlightening, greatly worsened my depression. About 10 years ago, after many years of depression and anxiety that had not responded to prescription drugs, I took SAM-e and I felt great, better than I had ever felt in my life, for several weeks. My depression and anxiety were basically gone and my libido was strong. I took Ecstasy one night and had a horrible reaction (I had taken Ecstasy around 5 times previously while not taking SAM-e without any problems). I felt totally miserable and anxious. My friend I was doing it with said the Ecstasy felt totally normal to him. I woke up the next day with a horrible headache that took several days to go away, and, since then, I have an intense feeling of anxiety that almost never goes away, even to this day, 10 years later. I went off the SAM-e and I have tried to go back on it several times over the past 10 years. Every time I go back on it, I feel better for a few days, and then I feel terrible and go off of it. I don't know for sure, but I feel like whatever part of my brain the SAM-e was helping so much was obliterated the night I took Ecstasy with SAM-e. Every day, I painfully regret taking that Ecstasy, and if I had a time machine, I would go back to that night and not take it, but that obviously is not an option. It was not a wise choice at the time, but I can't change it now. I've taken almost all of the prescription depression/anxiety medications and the only one that ever helped much was Parnate, an MAO inhibitor, but the benefits only lasted a couple of weeks and the side effects were really bad at higher doses, so I was not able to push the dose very far. I have taken all kinds of high quality multi-vitamins which have not helped, so I don't think I have a vitamin deficiency.
I had read a lot about phosphatidylserine lately so I started taking it about a month ago. Within 30 minutes of the first 100 mg dose, I felt a wave of calmness. I started taking 600 mg/day and was feeling significantly better, but my potency and libido actually got significantly worse than ever. I had read online in a few places that it is good to add a choline source when taking phosphatidylserine, so I got some Alpha GPC and took one 600 mg dose. About an hour later, my libido skyrocketed. So, I added 1200 mg Alpha GPC/day and was doing better with the depression and anxiety (not great, but definitely better) and my libido was actually quite strong, which I was thrilled about. I thought the 600 mg/day of phosphatidylserine might be a little high since most resources online say that the max dose is 300 mg/day, so I cut back to 300 mg/day, and my depression, anxiety and low libido symptoms started to worsen. I raised it back to 600 mg/day and I felt better again. Regardless, even at 600 mg/day of phosphatidylserine, the benefits have started to fade in recent days. My mood and libido are dropping fast.
I was hoping some people who know a lot about nootropics can get a sense of what my brain imbalance is based on what I have responded well to in the past. I am really hoping to get some advice on what I can change or add to my regimen to feel better and get my libido back. Some of the things i am considering are adding SAM-e to the mix, adding taurine, or replacing the Alpha GPC with huperzine A. My depression is not a normal depression. I don't feel down or blue. I just feel very anxious almost all of the time and I don't feel any real happiness nor the capacity to feel happiness. I could win the lottery or anything great can happen, and 99% of the time, I am not able to react positively, emotionally. It just feels like the circuitry in my brain's reward system is totally fried. When my mood is bad, it pretty much feels like how people describe neuropathy - burning, numbness, and tingling. That is what i feel in my soul the vast majority of the time. I also frequently experience paresthesia - prickling and tingling sensations of the skin on my upper back, neck and face. Any advice would be greatly appreciated and could really help lead to me getting my life back.
Thank you!
Norman
