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My plentyoffish.com meet-up gone wrong...

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^Thank you footscrazy, I got sort of pissed off reading his answer and was wondering if I was the only one who read it as ridiculously patronizing.
 
Stop pretending you can knowpeople when you have no idea who they are. Stop making excuses as to why you act like an dick. Stop thinking your better than some people. Stop hating yourself. Stop hating everyone else.

Go seek a therapist if you actually want any worth while relationships in your life. Your to old at this point to not make something of yourself in some form or fashion
 
fakeplastictrees4 said:
You might want to get your shit straightened out before seeing people.
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Agreed.

And i was about to sign up for POF and i was like nahhhh fuck that. only leads to trouble.
and like someone said below, yelling at someone to stop staring at you may not be the reasonable plan of action..thats like yelling at someone to stop flirting...what was the point of meeting up
 
llama112 said:
Are you seeing a therapist right now? I would probably advise you to start (if you aren't already) ... it really could help.
Next, a job. Why don't you have a job? Why don't you try and get a job? I'm not saying you can't date while being unemployed, but it does make it more difficult to. As well, a job would give you more social interaction. I'm not saying that you need to find a full time career type job. But even a part time job for now, like 10 hours a week. It would get you out of the house and earn you a bit of money.
Also, friends. Do you have friends? Maybe you should try working on friendships first.

Sometimes it is important to understand "mainstream" stuff, in order to connect with others on some level. I have some interests that I cannot share with most people so I make sure I'm relatively up to date with the news and stuff like that so that I can have decent conversations with my coworkers and other people. I read the local newspaper. I check out the news online. I try to watch some TV shows that are "popular" (or at least an episode). Things like that. It isn't fun ... but it is good to learn about things outside of your knowledge, even if it seems pointless to you.
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Hey thanks a lot for the reply. It's only been two weeks since my last job that I lost basically due to my depression and my drinking. She is a former alcoholic and doesn't work and is on disability so she had no real problem with this. I have a small number of close friends.

Thanks again for the advise.
 
hyroller said:
Dude. It's just as well she didn't show up the first time, seeing as you blacked out from drinking so much booze.... imagine how that would have gone down if the 2 of you were having your first-ever conversation??

You need help, man. Plain and simple. You need to stop analysing shit (for shit's sake) and wanting so badly to gain other peoples' approval (especially while knowingly going to great lengths to receive anything but). You also don't sound like you're willing to make much effort as far as accommodating other people goes (this girl came out to you on both occasions - you could have offered to meet her halfway at least one time, no?), and are very keen to pass judgement by put others into some kind of box (i.e. "normal" - even though the individual admitted to having severe mental issues...?!?), YET you despise the very possibility of falling prey to such treatment, yourself. There is no other term for this besides hypocrisy.

sounds more or less like all this girl did was give you a mild dose of your own medicine... not so sweet, now is it??

FYI: there are also plenty of people who share your interests... it is, after all, the 21st Century that we are now living in... not to mention, that hiding such a significant aspect of yourself is entirely pointless when attempting to date. Best you grow up a bit and learn to be more accepting (of yourself and other people) before even re-attempting the charade....you may then find that confidence is not something you must feign in order to be around strangers. best of luck to you...this is not an overnight job by any means
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No, this is mostly inaccurate. i cleared up many of the misconceptions you have about me in the 12th post in the thread when Pagey kind of assumed some of the same things. Thanks for the response.

footscrazy said:
You say you 'don't get criticizing somebody for being a little out there and not conforming' while in the same breath criticizing her for being 'too normal' - in other words, being too different for you. I think you're premptively bitter towards other people because you've been hurt in the past. It comes through so strongly even just through your writing, so perhaps it comes through strongly in person too. I think you need to stop hating people before you meet them, people can sense that, and it's not at all attractive.
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Yeah, you're right. I maybe was being too critical. However I never said she was a bad person for it, just clearly stated we didn't mesh at each other at all, which was obvious from the get-go. You're right I need to stop being so bitter. It's not from being hurt in the past. That has not ever happened to me. Thanks for the responses man.
 
1.) Posts 2,3, and 22 ftw.
2.) A friend of mine has a lapel pin that states, "A normal person is one you don't know well."
3.) The relationship game isn't for everyone, and you seem to know you're not cut out for it. Drop it.
4.) Get professional help, or quit drinking/drugs--preferably both.
 
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opium said:
Agreed.

And i was about to sign up for POF and i was like nahhhh fuck that. only leads to trouble.
and like someone said below, yelling at someone to stop staring at you may not be the reasonable plan of action..thats like yelling at someone to stop flirting...what was the point of meeting up
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Thanks for the response. I don't think it was like flirting really. She clearly wasn't flirting. I had just about enough of her snide, sarcastic remarks when I finally broke down and said that one. Like, I said, we didn't mesh at each other at all. I have no doubt she felt this way about me pretty much from the get go as well.
 
Belisarius said:
1.) Posts 2&3 ftw.
2.) A friend of mine has a lapel pin that states, "A normal person is one you don't know well."
3.) The relationship game isn't for everyone, and you seem to know you're not cut out for it. Drop it.
4.) Get professional help, or quit drinking/drugs--preferably both.
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Thanks for the advise. I am in the process of quitting alcohol and I have seen a drug counselor for about 5 years. I have been on many psych meds in the past and have since decided they're more destructive in the long run, despite how bad off I am without them anyways. I am considering seeing a shrink again.

As for point 3, I don't have many relationships of any kind which is more of a personal choice. This obviously was disatrous, but I have had much luck in the past using online dating sites. It was how I lost my virginity and got my first girlfriend. I'm not just going to "cut it" because I handled this one poorly. lol Thanks for taking the time to post advice in my thread.
 
Hello to all my strange creatures in the land of the drug head. I just returned from the gym after pumping iron furiously and doing some grocery shopping. I feel great and am ready to continue my online search for beautiful babes! YYEEEHAW!!!
 
I know I'm late and that this thread is winding down, but I decided to respond to you. You seem genuinely open to advice and counsel, which is good. Basically, by your description of yourself and the tragic night, you seem insufferable and hyper sensitive. Again, I only know you by your story, and you must admit the story doesn't bathe you in the most loving light. Here are my two cents.

Stop drinking in order to motivate you-- it clearly is destructive and counterproductive, especially in concerns to your dating life. You can't get shitty and expect meeting a stranger to go smoothly.

Second, you're basically telling us you are toooo weird for a conversation with 'normal' people. That shit must stop. You may need to rethink yourself, the way you think about others, and your habitual drinking before blaming your awkwardness or social anxiety. You aren't exactly showing that you are disabled as much as you are a drunk. Make changes. Love more. You don't have long. Try harder.

I hope I don't sound cruel. This is the same shit I had to tell myself long ago. I've been there. Become more accepting and start kicking ass. Much luck to you.
 
lysergicbliss00 said:
I know I'm late and that this thread is winding down, but I decided to respond to you. You seem genuinely open to advice and counsel, which is good. Basically, by your description of yourself and the tragic night, you seem insufferable and hyper sensitive. Again, I only know you by your story, and you must admit the story doesn't bathe you in the most loving light. Here are my two cents.

Stop drinking in order to motivate you-- it clearly is destructive and counterproductive, especially in concerns to your dating life. You can't get shitty and expect meeting a stranger to go smoothly.

Second, you're basically telling us you are toooo weird for a conversation with 'normal' people. That shit must stop. You may need to rethink yourself, the way you think about others, and your habitual drinking before blaming your awkwardness or social anxiety. You aren't exactly showing that you are disabled as much as you are a drunk. Make changes. Love more. You don't have long. Try harder.

I hope I don't sound cruel. This is the same shit I had to tell myself long ago. I've been there. Become more accepting and start kicking ass. Much luck to you.
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HEY FRIEND!!!! Thanks so much. Your kind words resonate deeply in my heart. This was a very insightful and helpful reply my friend!

I didn't quite understand the second paragraph though. Alcohol didn't play a huge role in this story. It basically resulted in a train wreck because alcohol aka my medicine wasn't there to cure me of my ailments. I was not drunk when we met up. I hadn't drank anything. If I had then I would have been social and things would have turned out happily ever after.
 
pontifex01 said:
Or take some pro-social drugs (Not alcohol) like GHB the next time you see her, so you feel comfortable enough to be yourself, break the ice, and let her know more about you. She'll either respond positively or think you're a weirdo. Either way it cuts through all the red tape.
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I can't tell you how much this advice means to me.

I may order some phenibut for this or get some benzos as a replacement so that I can oil my rusty brain and pick up all the babes smoothly, subsequently enjoying a life of happiness and bliss.
 
Stopping your medication was not a wise choice also. You should try and deal with all the anger you feel inside, you will feel relieved and also a much better person in relationship with those around you. Sometimes that very anger doesn't allow you to see the good & positive in others and it forces you to become anxious and antisocial.

Don't take it personally, you asked for advice. It's how I see it from behind a computer screen on the Internet.
 
ed.ston said:
Stopping your medication was not a wise choice also. You should try and deal with all the anger you feel inside, you will feel relieved and also a much better person in relationship with those around you. Sometimes that very anger doesn't allow you to see the good & positive in others and it forces you to become anxious and antisocial.

Don't take it personally, you asked for advice. It's how I see it from behind a computer screen on the Internet.
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Thanks so much. I appreciate the honest words. However, being someone who has been on literally over a dozen psych meds, I have come to the realization they are not the answer - at least not for me. At least SSRI and SNRI's are not. They are destructive and only excarbate the problem in the long run, leaving you worse than when you started off. This is about me specifically and not anbody else.
 
Yeah you would know more about that, I never had the need to take such pills. But anyway, are they all the same? Maybe you got on the wrong treatment...I would ask other shrinks. You know, I don't really trust doctors these days and it's always better to get two, maybe three opinions.

That is, if you feel like you can't deal with your condition on your own which would be a million times better of course. Many times people get scared and turn to meds too easily, even when it wouldn't be the case and it ends up doing more harm than good...but this is something that only a true doctor can evaluate, not me over the Internet.

Best of luck.
 
KoreyS said:
I can't tell you how much this advice means to me.

I may order some phenibut for this or get some benzos as a replacement so that I can oil my rusty brain and pick up all the babes smoothly, subsequently enjoying a life of happiness and bliss.
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Taking more drugs is not going to help your self-esteem issues, that's absurd... they will make them much worse in the end. You think a girl wants to hang around a dude who has to be high just to look at her? lul. That's the biggest deal breaker in history... MUCH more than your "weird" interests which BTW, every girl I've EVER been with to would have been quite interested in.


It seems like your causing most of your problems yourself unnecessarily... confidence is key. Not to get the girls, but to be happy with yourself.
 
fakeplastictrees4 said:
You might want to get your shit straightened out before seeing people.
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yeah dude id do this first

but ive met a few of pof a high success rate of intercourse on the first date too! 5/7!!

anyway i got nervous and drank usually too but opiates seem to be the best thing for these pof meetups

givev it a go
 
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