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Doggy-style is degrading to women?!

RedLeader said:
On topic, there are basically two ways that a man can work over a woman: he can make love to her or she can be fucked by him. Doggystyle definitely falls into the latter category.
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Ehhh...my bf calls it "making love" every time we bone, and generally doing it from behind is a given. It does help to have a lot of trust in one's partner to really let go with the sensations. It makes it hotter to get into the "slut" mindset when you know the other person really loves and respects you as a human being.
 
munki said:
It makes it hotter to get into the "slut" mindset when you know the other person really loves and respects you as a human being.
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Being very sexually passionate within a relationship should not be described or thought of as "slutty." There is a difference. It seems old religious attitudes have not only left stigma upon promiscuity but good healthy sex in general.

Likewise with "degrading," it doesn't come down to which positions or sexual acts as much as the intention behind it and how it is carried out. Too often people will put up a "banner" exclaiming it is bad for all when it is only themselves who feel uncomfortable with it.
 
RedLeader said:
And I think what happens with some women, especially those not that sexually-experienced, is that they want to 'make love' because they worry that wanting to 'be fucked' will make them seem/feel/look like a slut or similar. In a healthy relationship, I think that this all evaporates and instead each session ends up being determined by whether the couple is in the mood for romance or animalism. And I think that after most women have been through the experience of a relationship where there is enough trust that each knows that no judgment is going to be made based on what type of sex the other wants, these types of fears will be better understood as mostly irrational.
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excellent post
 
MyFinalRest said:
Being very sexually passionate within a relationship should not be described or thought of as "slutty." There is a difference. It seems old religious attitudes have not only left stigma upon promiscuity but good healthy sex in general.
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Tis a very true statement. Ah, American puritan heritage runs deep. Not sure how it is for other countries, but I definitely see it as the basis for much of the conflict in regards to sexuality within myself, in others and the overall culture here.
 
A lot of the hype about tall men is just that...hype. Short men are the ones that can actually deliver the most pleasure across the different positions.
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Yeah, the guy was really tall and would push me down to where it was uncomfortable for me. Short ones? No problem. :)
 
I think degrading is more intention rather than an act in itself.... The most vanilla missionary can be degrading if the intent is to degrade.

Doggy is my fave position!
 
Yeah, this woman is just being ridiculous. I don't feel this or most other positions are degrading..they're just positions. Doggy is at the top of my list, and never have I once ever felt like it was degrading.

Leave it to someone to make something out of nothing 8)
 
I don't see how any position is degrading, as long as both parties are consenting.
 
PriestTheyCalledHim said:
As for Dan Savage he's a media whore, bigot-he's very biphobic and transphobic, misogynistic, a bully, and not any sort of expert on human sexuality, politics, or LGBT issues at all. As friends of mine in Seattle say "It's best to ignore him."
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Wow. Shocking. I think Dan Savage is none of those things (can't speak for the anti-trans part, though, I've not read his comments on that). I've never read anything by him I didn't think was spot on. Best sex writer ever IMO. But i read him for sex, not politics. To each his own, I guess. :/

As for doggy, its submissive but not degrading.
 
yea i read that savage love too, the one where she doesnt likecome in her mouth.

maybe with a girl you like and want to start a relationship you dont get right into bend over baby and grab on for dear life, (get her drunk that may be a different story lol...jk)

my ex was kinda hesistant at first but the more we talked and became closer she wanted to try it and ended uo lovig it, especially when i rubbed her clit while going in and out slowly. i think that women who feel its degrading should watch some female friendly por and buy a rabbit for some alone time experimentation. (guys perspective so dont flame me for being a pig)

edit: fave way we used to do it was us on our knees and her head on the couch so she could turn around with that flushed sweaty face and watch me thrust into her. would always get her off. as everyone knows, men are physical, you rub it a few times and youre done. women need that emotional stimulation, that fantasy, the look of my bf pleasureing me.
 
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Lack of eye contact? I try NOT to make eye contact! Most girls I try not to look at so I don't feel like throwing up!
 
my first time i had a hard time getting it in, the memory is still torturous, 45 minutes to an hour of wonderful frustration...finally i told her to turn around and started trying from behind, she told her friends she thought i was going for her ass and was always reluctant to do it doggy style after that.
 
I don't see how a sex position is degrading to women. That's preposterous, and specifically, deluded thinking.

RedLeader said:
Doggystyle with her facing a mirror. You can make eye-contact and she can watch herself getting fucked without pulling a neck muscle. Problem solved.
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Cpt's 2.0 version: Fuck in a house of mirrors: for you will only see their eyes, however you won't know if it's actually their eyes or a reflection thereof. WIN.
 
I don't mind any positions, but I prefer positions where you can be more embraced and have eye-contact for myself, like having the guy sitting up when you're on top, because I mostly enjoy sex for the connection and emotions that comes with it. But I can also enjoy the type of sex where you're basically used as an anonymous piece of meat, but ONLY with the right kind of guy. i.e. really strong, sexual, dominant, and GREAT in bed, and that I really love him and like to be submissive to him. That can be really hot.

Otherwise I can't be turned on like that and I just want sex for the closeness. I guess this can be the case for some women that they feel that way all the time. Don't think the problem is so much they feel degraded, more that it makes them feel unloved, as when a guy is in a loving state of mind and want to explore it he'll go about it in a different way. While if it's just pure lust you might as well be a random piece of meat, so that can be a bit of a slap in the face. I've heard many girls complain about their sexual experiences and how it made them feel like shit and just made them feel more alone, etc.

I guess this can be hard for men to understand as they rarely run into this problem. They can set the terms to suit their mood and don't often end up in the position where they have to beg for being handled more lovingly, or either way is fine by them, as men aren't as vulnerable that way. Their concerns are mostly if they'll get to do all the dirty things they fantasise about, but this isn't such a sensitive issue that will lead them to feel unloved or rejected, etc. So yea, I think this is one of the main problems in the sexual conflict between men and women, and a reason it's so hard for guys to get laid. I mean, if as a woman you felt you could count on having a great sexual experience most of the time you might be a bit more generous, to put it that way. If men want to get laid they also need to think about how to make it a good experience for the woman and not just about how they can grab as much as possible for themselves.

Anyway, it's not really positions that make up sexuality. Everyone are sexually different and sex can be experienced on several different levels. At the base of it, the purely physical level, like the need to eat. The emotional level, or feelings of passion, excitment, exhileration, or mild feelings of affection and closeness. And at the highest level, or the spiritual level, which is experienced as pure bliss and ecstacy when you reach that level of love and oneness with another human being (totally un-physical, comparable to the greatest drug-high).

So everyone are different and that is fine by me. Personally, I don't get much out of the physical experience alone. I mostly enjoy it emotionally and spiritually, which I find myself fortunate for, as it's so much more rewarding. And at least I have a way of getting high naturally. When I said giving oralsex is better than Ecstacy, I meant it literally, or at least it can be with the right person. The problem is finding that person who can make me feel that way. And he also has to have access to some of those feelings, obviously.
 
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