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Gibberings CVI: Check Out My Subaru

OldBoy is on Film 4 just now for anyone not out, fucking missed loads of it though! Classic film too.

EDIT: Caught it just in time for the epic fight scene, probably the best film fight seen ever.
 
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I hate when you see your name as the last post of a thread but you have to keep looking back to see wtf you wrote!
 
SamhainGrim said:
I never really experienced Kara, but I heard stories alright.
Click to expand...

Maybe Sam is Kara 8o;)

Valkyrie said:
This is how I imagined him...

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/6...n#post10334442
Click to expand...

Nice thread, I hadn't seen it before. Brian Cox? I don't think so.


Not going to be sleeping tonight, this morning a gram of fleph arrived and I devoured it quickly, well quite quick, it was gone by midnight. Took some mxe to come down, hoping to try the NEK that I have here tomorrow in comparison with MXE.
 
Valkyrie said:
No sleep til tonight for me, I can't do daytime sleeping.
Click to expand...



!me too took a couple of vallies and now on strong gin and tonic hoping its gonna knock me out!

sweet dream please come soon or I am going to have one of those fuck it nights abd take more drugs to stay up!
 
wish I had some benzos right now, sometimes I miss them, it would be so easy to end up back taking them daily though, which I don't want, I do miss them and crave them most days though. Stupid fucking benzos......
 
Gin infused with mdma, two of the worst tastes ever!

I've just taken methylone then remembered it takes 2 hours to come up. Waiting... 8)
 
Bluebell said:
not yet not found anything that is going to knock me out so poured some mdma in to my gin to give it a lift=D
Click to expand...

haha, that should do it!

I need to decide what I'm gonna do now with the residual fleph stimulation and the mxe, I could take more mxe, or I could dabble in some 25I-NBOMe or 2C-P, or I could make myself sleep with GBL. Decisions decisions!
 
Well this post is certainly going to be a long random gibbering...... so it's just as well there is a thread here for this type of stuff (Maybe i should post this in the sabbatical or mental health support threads. im not sure, i'll leave it here for now anyway......I dont think ive quite got to the level of Limpet Chicken's posts yet, but fear i may be getting there. (If you read this fella, plz dont take offence, i just mean your posts are usually very long and rambling). This is my update on my tale of my self inflicted woe, entirely of my own doing of course. Admittedly everything kind of crept up on me, and had got its 'hooks' into me quite thoroughly before i became aware that id gone further down this particular road than i intended to...

I dont believe ive lost my coherence yet during this post, like i did the other night whilst spending a whole night trying to wrire a post on the piracetam thread whilst totally out of my fuckin tree on etiz and UR-144 LOL...

My biggest practical problem at the moment is that my natural sleeping pattern has been completly fucked for at least a week now. I've not been waking up until between 2 and 4pm most days. Ive had some annual leave to take, and readjusting to work hours is prooving very very difficult.

All this has happnened since cutting back on my poppy pod tea, ive been getting into the much worse habit of hitting the etizolams much harder in the evenings. I've beeng doing about 6-10 mg every few hours virtually all night long, and toking some UR-144 along with it - they go very nicely together indeed. Im so glad that at last there's a cannibinoid out there that does not induce racing out of control thoughts, paranoia, or anxiety in me. I'm doing this bingeing regardless of whether i have work the next day or not. I just cannot face an evening stone cold sober at the moment.

I dont know why but i dont/wont cant go to bed at nights, i simply dont want to move from my PC chair, so i try to have all the cigs, etiz, and UR im going to need all conviently within reach before i start. Also a 2 litre bottle of sparkling water is extremely useful to have to hand. So im sitting at my pc chair all night long, nodding off briefly now and then. For the past week or 2 on most nights I havent even bothered with even a microwave ready meal, i just wolf packs of confectionary when the munchies strike. (I think Opiates are playing their part in this, dont they make confectionary almost orgasmically deliciously enjoyable, whilst proper food becomes just a chore and a bore to get down....) Even though ive fallen off my chair a few times already having nodded off, thats not been enough to bring me to my senses either. Somehow i find it easier to get up at 6 am or something like that, if i am are already kind of up......(makes some kind of snense to me at least8(

Ive lost count of the number of times ive spilled either water, poppy tea, or bowls of cereal all over my pc desk and keyboard during these binges. Its usually at least once a night. Oh and fag ash goes all over the keyboard all the time, i just keep typing away, cig between fingers now matter how long the ash pillar gets, it's far too much touble to move my hand 6 inches to the ash tray in order to knock the dead ash off the cig. (If anyone wants a hardy keyboard, seemingly capable of withstanding anything you could pour all over it - get one of those Dell cordless things, fuckin amazed its not needed replacing about 20 times already)

I've also spent whole nights trying to 'build' a simple one skin rizla joint; nothing more complicated than one rizla, one little filter, some UR-144 blended with herbs and a little sprinkle of extra tobacco to go on top. Every time i almost complete it i nod off and spill the contents, and have to start all over again when i come to again a little while later. Thankfully i can at least see the comical side of it, although i huess it's also a bit fuckin tragic too. (Nah "tragic" is not the right word, it's far too self-pitying. If there's one good thing ive picked up from the good folk of Manchester it's not to do 'self pity'. I used to have a terrible 'poor me' complex, which must have been as plain as day to read on my face, and i soon grew very tired and resentful of being met with contemptuous sneers from all manner of cunts, many of whome had no right atall to judge me, they hadnt stood it my shoes to get the point i was at then...anyway thats gone off on a tangent now..)

I have cut back tonight so far on the etiz. Just had 1 cimetedine as a little booster and 1 mg etiz about 10pm to relax a bit. Just done another 3mg a little while ago. (I've been on the stims as usual for a weekend daytime (Pentedrone today for a change, I'd describe it as MDPV's more functional little brother, i have got shit loads (many hours of work willbe needed) of things to to do around the house, literally not done any dish washing for about 4 weeks now, and am living off throw away plates and cuttlery. I have never before lived amongst such heaps of chaos in my life...Once the kitchen became too full of dirty plates and dishes i just moved them all to my spare room lol.....Everything is all over the place now, and that everything thats already 'all over the place' has to get turned over again and again, when i inevitably cant find something that im looking for....

I'm obviously not proud to be living like this, like some mentally deficient sad case, or like a very sick, weak and ill old man, bit im not ashamed to type all this out on here for public viewing either (i guess not many people will bother to read all of this lol, but thats not really the point, I mean I dont really "know" anyone on Bluelight (in the proper sense of the word) although i am attempting to establish some positive on-line 'relationships' on here). But the BL forum can be a world away from 'real life', whatever that means, and i would be dreadfully ashamed if any family member, old friend, or work colleague knew the state im living in. The only aspect of looking after myself that i am keeping on top of is personal hygeine, and clothes, towels & bed lining washing etc....As a cigarette smoker i believe its important to atleast wear a freshly cleaned shirt every day. During the periods that i gave up the cigs i was always surprised at how badly smokers who obviouly didnt change their clothes often fuckin reeked. At least smoke on clean clothes smells kind of sweet IMO.....:o Recently though ive been so shambolic trying to get ready to leave on time for work in the mornings ive had to skip brushing my teeth, as i just dont have the time for that without making myself even later. That feels fuckin minging all day. :sus:

So what was my point that i lost several paragraphs ago...oh yeah, taking stims and making a start on sorting this domestic chaos.....Guess what........? ive done fuck all about it all day again today. Set my alarm for 10 am, with the hope that having that extra time available, I'd be able to accomplish something, anything..... Fuckin joke, didnt become conscious of anything until around 1 or 2pm i think...Then spent the whole of the rest of the day fuckin around on the net. Not eaten anything all day, but not hungry atall , but there's not been one angry growl of protest from my stomach, so im not worried about that. (Sometimes after not eating for more than about 30 hours my mind becomes dysfuncyional. I think the type of stimulant is the crucial thing here. PV is the worst for 'loosing it'. Pentedrone seems quite good, for not loosig it. (If its apparent from this post that Im deluding myself there, please tell me !! ;)

Not surprisingly ive developed a fuckin hideous little pot belly thanks to my recent 'diet', so obviously wanna be reducing that monstrosity too. (Yes i know this isnt the right way to go about dieting......BUT....IF YOU CAN start eating better, and cut out, or at least diown on the crap you have a definate head start by simply skipping 4000 calories or something to start with....

Anyway, the main points of all this are, all though reducing poppy tea has been easy for me, the need to get fucked has been very hard to fight. This has fucked up my sleeping patterns in a very big way. To the point i could be in serious trouble at work (dont think theres any chance of being sacked yet, as my record's been pretty good until recently, but ive definately got to start watching myself. Theyve started asking questions like "Is there anything you want to tell me ?"...

Now am i being paranoid, or does that sound like they think ive got some kind of problem.......

Thankyou to anyone who got through all of this. Feel free to respond or ignore as you see fit. :p


Damn, tha main point/question in this thread was ging to be, should i just keep going all night and tomorrow on the stims, and then get to bed early tomorrow. Its already 4.30. I NEED some new LOUD alrm clocks. Nothing else is going to wake me until bout 2pm tomorrow. I cant stand that thought of starting another day so late gain,,,,so ive decided to keep boshing the stims......
 
I have feeling I need a yound whipping boy to sort out my drug needs, its shit i need to move to get any aye just in the house, but would appreciate a wee wiper snapper sorEtin it out

EDit spelling is shit
 
mydrugbuddy said:
Well this post is certainly going to be a long random gibbering...... so it's just as well there is a thread here for this type of stuff (Maybe i should post this in the sabbatical or mental health support threads. im not sure, i'll leave it here for now anyway......I dont think ive quite got to the level of Limpet Chicken's posts yet, but fear i may be getting there. (If you read this fella, plz dont take offence, i just mean your posts are usually very long and rambling). This is my update on my tale of my self inflicted woe, entirely of my own doing of course. Admittedly everything kind of crept up on me, and had got its 'hooks' into me quite thoroughly before i became aware that id gone further down this particular road than i intended to...

I dont believe ive lost my coherence yet during this post, like i did the other night whilst spending a whole night trying to wrire a post on the piracetam thread whilst totally out of my fuckin tree on etiz and UR-144 LOL...

My biggest practical problem at the moment is that my natural sleeping pattern has been completly fucked for at least a week now. I've not been waking up until between 2 and 4pm most days. Ive had some annual leave to take, and readjusting to work hours is prooving very very difficult.

All this has happnened since cutting back on my poppy pod tea, ive been getting into the much worse habit of hitting the etizolams much harder in the evenings. I've beeng doing about 6-10 mg every few hours virtually all night long, and toking some UR-144 along with it - they go very nicely together indeed. Im so glad that at last there's a cannibinoid out there that does not induce racing out of control thoughts, paranoia, or anxiety in me. I'm doing this bingeing regardless of whether i have work the next day or not. I just cannot face an evening stone cold sober at the moment.

I dont know why but i dont/wont cant go to bed at nights, i simply dont want to move from my PC chair, so i try to have all the cigs, etiz, and UR im going to need all conviently within reach before i start. Also a 2 litre bottle of sparkling water is extremely useful to have to hand. So im sitting at my pc chair all night long, nodding off briefly now and then. For the past week or 2 on most nights I havent even bothered with even a microwave ready meal, i just wolf packs of confectionary when the munchies strike. (I think Opiates are playing their part in this, dont they make confectionary almost orgasmically deliciously enjoyable, whilst proper food becomes just a chore and a bore to get down....) Even though ive fallen off my chair a few times already having nodded off, thats not been enough to bring me to my senses either. Somehow i find it easier to get up at 6 am or something like that, if i am are already kind of up......(makes some kind of snense to me at least8(

Ive lost count of the number of times ive spilled either water, poppy tea, or bowls of cereal all over my pc desk and keyboard during these binges. Its usually at least once a night. Oh and fag ash goes all over the keyboard all the time, i just keep typing away, cig between fingers now matter how long the ash pillar gets, it's far too much touble to move my hand 6 inches to the ash tray in order to knock the dead ash off the cig. (If anyone wants a hardy keyboard, seemingly capable of withstanding anything you could pour all over it - get one of those Dell cordless things, fuckin amazed its not needed replacing about 20 times already)

I've also spent whole nights trying to 'build' a simple one skin rizla joint; nothing more complicated than one rizla, one little filter, some UR-144 blended with herbs and a little sprinkle of extra tobacco to go on top. Every time i almost complete it i nod off and spill the contents, and have to start all over again when i come to again a little while later. Thankfully i can at least see the comical side of it, although i huess it's also a bit fuckin tragic too. (Nah "tragic" is not the right word, it's far too self-pitying. If there's one good thing ive picked up from the good folk of Manchester it's not to do 'self pity'. I used to have a terrible 'poor me' complex, which must have been as plain as day to read on my face, and i soon grew very tired and resentful of being met with contemptuous sneers from all manner of cunts, many of whome had no right atall to judge me, they hadnt stood it my shoes to get the point i was at then...anyway thats gone off on a tangent now..)

I have cut back tonight so far on the etiz. Just had 1 cimetedine as a little booster and 1 mg etiz about 10pm to relax a bit. Just done another 3mg a little while ago. (I've been on the stims as usual for a weekend daytime (Pentedrone today for a change, I'd describe it as MDPV's more functional little brother, i have got shit loads (many hours of work willbe needed) of things to to do around the house, literally not done any dish washing for about 4 weeks now, and am living off throw away plates and cuttlery. I have never before lived amongst such heaps of chaos in my life...Once the kitchen became too full of dirty plates and dishes i just moved them all to my spare room lol.....Everything is all over the place now, and that everything thats already 'all over the place' has to get turned over again and again, when i inevitably cant find something that im looking for....

I'm obviously not proud to be living like this, like some mentally deficient sad case, or like a very sick, weak and ill old man, bit im not ashamed to type all this out on here for public viewing either (i guess not many people will bother to read all of this lol, but thats not really the point, I mean I dont really "know" anyone on Bluelight (in the proper sense of the word) although i am attempting to establish some positive on-line 'relationships' on here). But the BL forum can be a world away from 'real life', whatever that means, and i would be dreadfully ashamed if any family member, old friend, or work colleague knew the state im living in. The only aspect of looking after myself that i am keeping on top of is personal hygeine, and clothes, towels & bed lining washing etc....As a cigarette smoker i believe its important to atleast wear a freshly cleaned shirt every day. During the periods that i gave up the cigs i was always surprised at how badly smokers who obviouly didnt change their clothes often fuckin reeked. At least smoke on clean clothes smells kind of sweet IMO.....:o Recently though ive been so shambolic trying to get ready to leave on time for work in the mornings ive had to skip brushing my teeth, as i just dont have the time for that without making myself even later. That feels fuckin minging all day. :sus:

So what was my point that i lost several paragraphs ago...oh yeah, taking stims and making a start on sorting this domestic chaos.....Guess what........? ive done fuck all about it all day again today. Set my alarm for 10 am, with the hope that having that extra time available, I'd be able to accomplish something, anything..... Fuckin joke, didnt become conscious of anything until around 1 or 2pm i think...Then spent the whole of the rest of the day fuckin around on the net. Not eaten anything all day, but not hungry atall , but there's not been one angry growl of protest from my stomach, so im not worried about that. (Sometimes after not eating for more than about 30 hours my mind becomes dysfuncyional. I think the type of stimulant is the crucial thing here. PV is the worst for 'loosing it'. Pentedrone seems quite good, for not loosig it. (If its apparent from this post that Im deluding myself there, please tell me !! ;)

Not surprisingly ive developed a fuckin hideous little pot belly thanks to my recent 'diet', so obviously wanna be reducing that monstrosity too. (Yes i know this isnt the right way to go about dieting......BUT....IF YOU CAN start eating better, and cut out, or at least diown on the crap you have a definate head start by simply skipping 4000 calories or something to start with....

Anyway, the main points of all this are, all though reducing poppy tea has been easy for me, the need to get fucked has been very hard to fight. This has fucked up my sleeping patterns in a very big way. To the point i could be in serious trouble at work (dont think theres any chance of being sacked yet, as my record's been pretty good until recently, but ive definately got to start watching myself. Theyve started asking questions like "Is there anything you want to tell me ?"...

Now am i being paranoid, or does that sound like they think ive got some kind of problem.......

Thankyou to anyone who got through all of this. Feel free to respond or ignore as you see fit. :p


Damn, tha main point/question in this thread was ging to be, should i just keep going all night and tomorrow on the stims, and then get to bed early tomorrow. Its already 4.30. I NEED some new LOUD alrm clocks. Nothing else is going to wake me until bout 2pm tomorrow. I cant stand that thought of starting another day so late gain,,,,so ive decided to keep boshing the stims......
Click to expand...

although rl;dr I thing you need to revaluate your drug taking should stop now , no neet to KEEP boshing ths stims, take a break, sleep eat well and fuly rehydate you self
 
mydrugbuddy said:
Damn, tha main point/question in this thread was ging to be, should i just keep going all night and tomorrow on the stims, and then get to bed early tomorrow. Its already 4.30. I NEED some new LOUD alrm clocks. Nothing else is going to wake me until bout 2pm tomorrow. I cant stand that thought of starting another day so late gain,,,,so ive decided to keep boshing the stims......
Click to expand...
Fuckin hell MDB! You've got yourself up shit creek :(

IMO staying awake all the next day works best. I couldn't sleep during the day due to kids being demanding (the little fuckers want food and stuff) so it had be straight through. Kids are grown up now but I still do the same, although they now sleep half the day! Stop taking the stims by 9am though.
 
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