Why is living so important, if you aren't doing something of importance while here?

[whoseanb]

This is something that's on my mind every single day. I seriously feel if you aren't changing the world in anyway, shape, or form, or trying to make an impact in helping or changing someones life, theres no point in being here.


First off, let me start by saying I'm not a drug addict. I'm 29, I've tried weed, hate it. (being zoned out and stuck on the couch isn't fun to me.) I've tried MDMA (My drug of choice, but due to drought and risks of dirty ass pills I've had to call it quits.)
Most recently I've been obsessed with expanding my mind and learning more about myself and the world so I tried 2c-e and MXE. Both were fun experiences but nothing life changing or earth shattering. Plus the risk of getting something other than what I expect lingers in my mind often so I had to stop while ahead. Only used about a half of gram of 2c-e and mxe in the span of a year. I'd really hate to die from drug use. That's not what I want to be rememered for.

Saying that, I'm as sober as I can be. And I don't understand why people who feel so fucking miserable (addicts, no family, lonely, broke, homeless etc.) decide to hang in there and hope for a better future. In my mind, you're either going to have a great life, or a shitty one. It's all in the cards dealt. There isn't a higher power who's giving certain people better lives and some people shitty live. You're lucky or you aren't. I'm in the middle. But that's not good enough for me.

Listen, I have 2 kids, a 7 year old and a 3 year old who I provide for and love very much. I make decent money, a car, and apartment and I'm able to hang out on the weekends and enjoy life. I'm very fortunate because I know plenty of people would die to be in the position I'm in.

Yet, I still hope every day I die.....
I know this is a very different twist to the dark side but this has been my feelings for at least 7 years now.
I guess Once I realized I'd never be a pro boxer like I dream of every day, or never be able to have a serious career ( I make decent money but I'm slaving in a hot ass fucking warehouse every day to earn every penny I make) because school isn't for me. I was in college for 3 months and had to drop out after I started working my latest job. I hated every minute of it too.

For whatever reason I have these super high standards on how I want to live and I'm not living up to them and I'm too old to make any major changes. So, I pretty much hate my life.

What about my kids? Yea, I love them to death but I'd rather them not see their dad working a lousy job any bumb off the street could get whose miserable every day going to work. I'd rather them having memories of a good looking young man who did all he could for them and just passed before anything good could happen.

I apologize to the people who have REAL HARD LIVES. Trust me, I know I'm lucky to have a home and be able to provide for myself and my fam, but I'm just not happy with my life. I have so many regrets. I'm so fucking athleticly gifted yet due to me being adopted and being raised by a lesbian I never played any sports. At 23 I started boxing and I was noticed by a trainer who watched my youtube video. I was invited to Cali to train with him free of charge, free house, free everything. And after 2 weeks my bitch ass came back home. I have absolutly 0 confidence in myself and I'm the type of person who can win 1st place in a race and still talk myself out of it next go around thinking I'd lose.

My confidence sucks that bad. I wish I would've stayed in Cali because who knows where I'd be right now. But, I kept telling myself I was too old to start boxing even though my trainer said I had the skills I just had to practice twice more than everyone else. It also didn't help me watching 8 year olds training with me.


I'm the classic case of "You're your wrost enemy". Yep, that's me. And I get it, I understand that.


So, Since My future lies on me soley working in warehouses all my life wishing I was someone else. I don't want to be here anymore. Now, I'm not saying I'm blowing my brains out or anything because like I said, I live a comfortable life. But let me lose my job or something bad in my life happens? Oh yea, I would definitly put some use into my 9mm. And it wouldn't be hard either. My life isn't great. I'm not missing out on shit other than my kids growing up and like I said, I don't want them seeing a dad wishing he did this or that when he was young but in reality he's working in a fucking dungeon for a living. I'd rather them believe I could've been something better if I was around longer.

Sorry for the long thread. Just something that's been on my mind for years and I'd like to know if anyones felt the way I feel. I'm not looking for support or encouraging comments because you can't change how I feel. I already know my life is great compared to others. I just know it could've been much more if I had the right guidance and I feel I missed the bus in so many ways.

The only reason I feel people who absolutly HATE life (I'm not quite there yet) but are too scared to end it theirself is because they're terrified of the unknown, HELL and all the other shit they're told on this pathetic planet) Lucky I don't believe in none of that shit.

I was raised in a Christian family and I don't believe in prayers being answered. Because if they did, women in brazil wouldn't be getting gang raped on a daily basis right? Right. But I do believe in God, I just know IT doesn't have any involvment that goes on in this shitty world. If IT did this world wouldn't suck so fucking much. So I'm personally looking forward to what it's like on the other side.

Thanks for listening everyone! This has literally been on my mind for years but of course people I'm close to would think I'm a complete lunatic if I told them half of this. Feels good getting this out.

p.s. Watching the olympics earlier today and Watching Gabby become the first African American to win all around womens gold. So tired of people on my facebook. THANK GOD, GOD BLESSED HER! GOD THIS AND THAT. Yea, but god didn't bless the poor girl in tampa who was raped and murderd but he finds importance in making sure a 16 year old can flip around like a Marvel comics hero. Hard ass work from the age of 3 did that! Humans are so brainwashed. Congrats GABBY THOUGH!

 

[1394]

Doing something "important" is absolutely relative.

Somebody somewhere has to be doing something. If you feel like you aren't living up to your potential, try improving yourself on that particular goal.

Other than that, a life isn't futile if it isn't productive.

 

[Cyc]

What I don't understand, is why people in your position would rather put a 9mm in their mouth rather than pick the nastiest SOB on the planet, and make it your personal mission to take that person's ass out, risking your own life in the process.

The end result is the same either way, and instead of your kids remembering their dad as someone who took the coward's way out, they will know him as the guy who took out some crooked CEO or despot president.

 

[DeathDomokun]

It's all in the cards dealt. There isn't a higher power who's giving certain people better lives and some people shitty live. You're lucky or you aren't.

That there is called a paradox, buddy. To imply that it's the cards you're dealt, that it's luck, is to imply that a higher power (if you want to call it chance/luck) has put you in a bad situation and that you have no ability nor responsibility for your own existence.

I'm too old to make any major changes

No, you're not.

And after 2 weeks my bitch ass came back home.

That's cards being dealt. You have the natural talent to be a good boxer, but you didn't put in the effort. You spend each day wishing you were a boxer, yet you don't desire it enough to actually train? You've got to put in the effort.

The only reason I feel people who absolutly HATE life (I'm not quite there yet) but are too scared to end it theirself is because they're terrified of the unknown, HELL and all the other shit they're told on this pathetic planet)

Well you're wrong.

You're a part of this 'shitty world' so if god has nothing to do with this 'shitty world' you won't see 'IT' on the other side, because you are the physical embodiment of the results of this 'shitty world'

And with your title, who said life is important?

And to Cyc why is killing yourself cowardly?

 

[Where Wolf?]

OP: I screwed up my career, have more serious drug issues than you describe, and similar thoughts assail me every day (including on religion and divine indifference). One thing I'd bear in mind, in your position, to try and introduce a note of simple fact, is that the children of suicides are statistically much, much likelier to end up as suicides themselves than the general population. Low-status, demeaning work may make you feel small and humiliated - I've been there, and will probably be back there soon - but you'd be a whole lot smaller and less useful to your kids in a coffin or jar.

 

[ugly]

Killing oneself should be an option for anyone, imho, but I'm heavily influenced by Hunter S Thompson. I don't have the actual quote on hand, and can't seem to find it, but he said that knowing he could escape at any moment made life livable for him. If I remember right, he said that he didn't think he could live at all, or be happy at all, without the freedom of knowing he could get out at any time. (Eventually he did just that... he decided it was time for him to go and he committed suicide.)

whoseanb, college degrees are not what you think. I have one. One of my sons has one, his wife has two, one of my daughters has two. Not mail order degrees... I'm talking about UCLA and that. Respectable degrees for which they have NO use. I can't find a job with mine. My daughter can't find a job with hers. My daughter in law isn't using hers for what she does. My son uses his computer science degree to maintain computer labs in libraries all across the county but he gets paid very little compared to a programmer, which is what he specialized in.

In other words, my love, don't give college a second thought. If you want to learn, lots of colleges have free on line courses. You can study whatever subject you want. Maybe studying would help you satisfy that itch to be in school. Maybe you could be in your own school mastering your own interests.

Some people do get to use their degrees to earn a living. In today's economy, the number of people who get good jobs after they graduate is pathetic. I just hate to see you so distressed with yourself because you don't dig traditional school. These days it's a flat out scam and instead of a job at the end of all that hard work, all you have to show for it is a huge student loan.

I appreciate everything that you shared, and I believe there are others here just too shy or afraid to come right out and say their truth, like you did.

I'm not going to give you any advice about trying to look at the brighter side of life because once we fall into a pattern of thought, it takes an almost supernatural force to get us out of that pattern of thinking. I accept what you think and how you feel as valid, important and real.

With you in the world and on BL posting, I am encouraged that not everyone is shallow, fake and dull. Your post has given me new appreciation for that which is and those who are valid, important and real.

 

[GodSpeedK]

On very rare occasions I think that life is a privilege that I must appreciate and be grateful for. But for the majority of my life I've questioned society and humanity; the way I'm expected to fit the mould of some conformist drone, whom submits to all sorts of frankly tedious and frustrating tasks, chores, and forms of work. Just so I can what? Strive for this concept of 'happiness'? Or is it just about setting myself up for procreation? Am I just being conditioned by society to raise a family and insure the future of humanity with yet more babies? I think having children is a pretty selfish thing to do. It's not like we were all begging our parents to create us before we were conceived. Now that I'm here, not a day goes by when I don't feel like I'm imprisoned within this cage, a biological fortress of skin, muscle and bone. That endless stream of consciousness, never ceasing for one moment. You can't even truly escape when you sleep - instead you dream up all sorts of bizarre and terrifying circumstances. It's all so tiring...hence why the idea of an after-life is so unappealing. I'll be so fucking annoyed if there is one, although I highly doubt it possible.

Anyone ever thought about their funeral? I certainly have - usually when in a deep bout of depression. Suicide seems like a pretty pathetic way to go, though. At least right now while I haven't accomplished anything that would perhaps outweigh the untimely and shocking exit. If I were to kill myself now, my eulogy would suck balls. Which doesn't make any sense, because I'd be dead and not even nothing is anything to a dead person...reputation is about as important to a dead person as comedy is to an ant.

I just feel really resentful to be a human - why couldn't I have been an animal? Fuck tax, shopping, conversations, television, clothes, furniture, poetry, forms, opinions, education, religion, sport, etiquette, rules, structure, routines, tastes, waiting, etc. We've really exaggerated our successes (which 99% of us aren't even responsible for) and conveniently forget or denied our cruelty. The human race is unbelievably fucked up. All the horrible shit that has happened on this planet because of us..the injustices, the corruption, the slaughter, the poverty, the list is endless. If there was a God, he would be feeling really guilty about this project and definitely would have put a stop to this awful, awful, shit. All you can do is laugh or succumb to insanity. Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of things I love about this world. But when it comes down to it, I just really can't stand those people who get hard over humanity and see it like we're special and completely deserving of a very prolonged future. Delusional and self-important. We reside on a planet that relative to the universe is like a mote of dust on your carpet. Totally insignificant.

Yes, I hate how we're taught that anyone can be anything if they try their best. What fucking bullshit! There's so many idiots on this planet, there's too many people for every decent job, there's too many fools in positions of power, there's too much ignorance, too much lies. It's impossible for everyone's dreams to come true, or millions of people would win x-factor each year or something equally as pathetic. I don't really know where I'm going with this at all. That applies to both my life and this post. I guess the idea of not knowing what'll become of me, leaves me with enough hope to keep on going. Maybe one day I will be content enough not to care anymore. Maybe if I care this much I should be trying to change things. But I know changing requires levels of courage and intelligence I probably do not possess, as well as dealing with a load of ruthless cunts who will stop at nothing to prevent change. And anyway, maybe If I did change society in some way, it would be for the worse.

haha - wut? Ah well, feels good to vent.

 

[Thou]

Killing oneself should be an option for anyone, imho, but I'm heavily influenced by Hunter S Thompson. I don't have the actual quote on hand, and can't seem to find it, but he said that knowing he could escape at any moment made life livable for him.

I'm of this mind, and I think I'd feel happier if I owned a gun and actually LESS suicidal, since I'm not scared of death; I'm scared of being trapped.

We are the only species that does this (contains life against its own will).

If you have children this is a little different and you really need to consider them before yourself, unconditionally. I don't have any children for this (among other) reasons.

You'll be on top again, I felt the same way you do last night, still do, in fact, but I'm out of bed and about to jump in the shower to go to a shitty job I'm overqualified for I fucking hate. But it's only 3 days a week, and I can deal with that. Think of the positive things, however hard it may be.

 

[dhcdavid]

Excellent stuff, OP.

Much respect, love and kudos are yours for writing what you did.

Just be happy you live in a country which allows/ enables you to even have access to a 9mm for "when you've had enough". Shooting oneself has got to be an easier way to go than hanging, jumping off a tall building etc which are the only options open to suicidal people in coutries such as the uk which have mega-mega-tough gunlaws.

 

[ugly]

I like it, Godspeed.

I feel the same way. Your rant/blog/post expressed a lot of me, too, so thank you for posting. I'm at my wits end. I tried to kill myself but I didn't make it, so I'm looking at life and thinking wtf is going on?

whoseanb, I have kids. I guess I'm glad I didn't die because it would have made their already difficult situations that much more difficult. Besides I get to die. I'm not going to live forever and I'm already 53 so I know I get to die... I won't have to kill me because I'll be dead. I think about it a lot because dying would be so much easier than the bullshit we deal with every day.

I don't know if our lives matter. There have been people coming in and out of life for millenniums and from a distance, people look like a disease the earth caught. This planet would be so beautiful with no one on it. We seem to be malignant to this earth.

I don't think about that when I'm playing with the babies. My grandchildren are fun, and funny, and overflowing with laughter and joy almost all the time. I can't explain why anything is anything but the babies make me glad I am alive.

 

[michael]

isn't raising your kids important enough for you?

as someone who suffers from chronic pain while i toil away at a dead end wage slave job that i can't afford to leave, i feel your pain though, and i have never been convinced that there is a point to life besides what you make of it. so i have decided that if there is nothing else for me, i will travel a bit and enjoy what i can out of life.

 

[Thou]

isn't raising your kids important enough for you?

If I had kids I'd have to abandon myself to them, ultimately. I'd starve to death to bring them one ounce of flour, if it were necessary.


I don't believe in having kids for selfish reasons though, which is ultimately what I'd be doing. My mother did this, because she never loved my father. I can barely function because of quite a few variables, but this one, this big one, reigns supreme in why I feel worthless, unloved, insecure, and doomed.

 

[michael]

I'd starve to death to bring them one ounce of flour, if it were necessary.

what would they do with an ounce of flour after you were dead?

 

[herbavore]

What you imagine your children will think of you is actually all in your head, not theirs. They do not care that their Dad is well-known for something glorious or outstanding in a public sense. They want to be loved and they would forever feel that some idea that you had about what you should have been was more important to you than they could ever be. That would be a terrible thing to live with and I know that you would never want them to have to feel that way. My own father worried on his deathbed that his life had been unimportant and his legacy was inconsequential; yet my father made me feel loved and secure. He taught me good manners and integrity. He showed me the importance of a good sense of humor. He taught me about selflessness and generosity. He did all this while being to the outside observer a simple man working away at a job he didn't really like. How can that not be "something of importance"?

P.S. I couldn't agree more with your P.S. See, there's another thing you've got to offer! You are a person that has his eyes open and that sees with them. It's not as common as people think. Teach your kids how to do that (you already are, by example) and you can add that to your list of things to be proud of.

 

[whoseanb]

What I don't understand, is why people in your position would rather put a 9mm in their mouth rather than pick the nastiest SOB on the planet, and make it your personal mission to take that person's ass out, risking your own life in the process.

The end result is the same either way, and instead of your kids remembering their dad as someone who took the coward's way out, they will know him as the guy who took out some crooked CEO or despot president.

Man, I hear what you're saying 100%. But with my luck, I'd get shot in the stomach, survive, and spend 20 years in prison lol. I even thought of some crazy shit to avoid suicide like go for a bank robbery and use a gun without any bullets just to provoke the police to shoot me. BUt like I said, My luck, I'd survive and end up spending the rest of my life in prison. And I won't spend more than 6 months in prison. Fuck that.

 

[whoseanb]

That there is called a paradox, buddy. To imply that it's the cards you're dealt, that it's luck, is to imply that a higher power (if you want to call it chance/luck) has put you in a bad situation and that you have no ability nor responsibility for your own existence.


No, you're not.


That's cards being dealt. You have the natural talent to be a good boxer, but you didn't put in the effort. You spend each day wishing you were a boxer, yet you don't desire it enough to actually train? You've got to put in the effort.


Well you're wrong.

You're a part of this 'shitty world' so if god has nothing to do with this 'shitty world' you won't see 'IT' on the other side, because you are the physical embodiment of the results of this 'shitty world'

And with your title, who said life is important?

And to Cyc why is killing yourself cowardly?

Seriously, getting out of the fucking tourcher chamber (my job) and coming home to read these post has really put a smile on my face.

You people here are the fucking shit! And that's why I had to nut up and post what I've been wanting to scream to anyone who would listen for a long time. I'm going to try to quote some folks...

That there is called a paradox, buddy. To imply that it's the cards you're dealt, that it's luck, is to imply that a higher power (if you want to call it chance/luck) has put you in a bad situation and that you have no ability nor responsibility for your own existence.

Correct. Maybe I shouldn't use the word "luck". I don't know what word to use but I'm implying none of us have any responsibilty for our own existence. We either live "THE liFE!!" or, " THE FUCKING MISERABLE LIFE" Or in my case, "my life isn't as bad as it COULD be, but I fucking hate it". No higher power is involved IMHO. Because like I said before. If there was, I wouldn't read stories of kids being beaten, raped, murdered, and women being battered and beaten, used as sex slaves for YEARS! A higher power would at least intervene and keep that down to a minimum. Instead, it happens everyday all over.

That's cards being dealt. You have the natural talent to be a good boxer, but you didn't put in the effort. You spend each day wishing you were a boxer, yet you don't desire it enough to actually train? You've got to put in the effort..

I could write 10 pages on how much I train to be honest. That's how I got noticed in the first place. No professional training whatsoever just by studying instructional videos and training everyday I got noticed by putting a youtube vid online. AND, I still, to this day train my ass off like I have a fight coming up! It's almost like I'm delusional! I mainly do it just to keep a fit body and to make sure some fool in the club doesn't get the best of me if he's drunk and wants to act bad but trust me, I love to train and I always do! Sometimes I tell myself while I'm working out "You're wasting your time dude, You'll never fight, you'll never have a career in boxing, and this is just pointless". But I still go strong 5 times a week! So trust me, I train, and I train HARD!

You've most def. made my night reading your post! Glad you appreciate my post and honesty! I'm a 100% real dude and always have been. I live in a small town in FL and have had straight up rednecks tell me they've hated black people until they met me. You can't hate somebody who is 100% real. This is how I feel and this is me man.

I'm with the person who said calling it quits on your own life should be allowed for anyone! I just watched a documentary on Netflix called 'Suicide Tourist'. I guess it's legal to go to Swedan and have them give you a drink to put you at death. you have to pretty much be on your death bed anyway but that's a start. Like someone else said, None of us asked to be here so why should we have to be forced to deal with all the bullshit from these fucked up brainwashed people anyway? I don't get it.

And yes, I read the other thread were the one guy thinks he's going to do some serious time in prison so he wants to just end it all but in the UK it's hard as hell to get a pistol? Man I REALLY feel bad for y'all. If I call it quits, the last thing I would want is for it to be painful. Like the quote Ugly posted from Hunter S. Thompson " knowing he could escape at any moment made life livable for him. If I remember right, he said that he didn't think he could live at all, or be happy at all, without the freedom of knowing he could get out at any time". I don't remember the exact quote either but knowing this has always made my days easier just knowing, "Well, if it get's any rougher than this fuck it, I'm calling it quits". That literally has made me go about my days better than I normally would...

And GodSpeed? I feel you on EVERYTHING! Humans have to be the worst creation of all species. We are absolutly destroying this lovely planet day by day. I remember hearing an interview from Joe Rogan and he said something along the lines of " I seriously believe humans are bacteria to the earth. If you're on a plane flying around the world you are enjoying the beautiful view of the earth and all of it's beautiful water, Once you hit LA It literally looks like bacteria, all the Smoke, buildings. This can't be normal. It all looks like bacteria or mold on a loaf of bread". So true.

Oh yea, the best part GODSPEED, "We can do anything if we put our mind to it". HAHA, fucking laughable at best! I can stay up for 10 years straight playing b-ball and I will never be NBA caliber lol. You either have it, or you don't. Determination doesn't mean shit if you just don't have it. I've tried everything to keep me from working the typical 9 to 5. Making beats, djing, rapping and spent so many sleepless nights practicing and never got anywhere. You know why? Because I wasn't any fucking good. The only thing I really had talent in was boxing but I started too late and mentally too fucked to believe I could do it even though I practiced day and fucking night and had the ability!

I can go on and on forever. But you people here have at least made my night and I'm very happy I've posted my true feelings about this shithole we call earth and even more happy there's people here who share my thoughts. Love you all.

Still, Life is life, it comes and goes, doesn't matter how fast or when. It just comes and goes. I'm literally just waiting for that one good excuse to call it a day. It hasn't happend yet but when it does, I'm ready...

 

[whoseanb]

isn't raising your kids important enough for you?

.

Just read my post man, I'd pretty much feel like an embarrasment living the life I live raising my kids. This isn't how I want them to see me! If I was gone at 30-35 by the time they got old enough to really understand they would only remember me as this hard working dad who could've did IT ALL but unfortuantly passed before his time. If I'm around, I'll be a 50 year old warehouse worker who hates his fucking life and will possibly show some of that hate towards by kids if they aren't doing what I expect them to do due to my shitty fucking life.

I have an awesome life insurance plan if anything happens to me and my kids will be STRAIGHT. I just hope everyfucking day some random maniac just comes up to me and blows my fucking brains out. My kids would have it MADE!
Ok, a dad is more important, Fuck that I didn't have a dad or a mom, I don't know anyone with a dad. At least mine would have a secure future without a dad!

Ok, I'm going to bed...

 

[rhun]

It's really easy to get sucked into how you're "supposed" to live your life. We're raised to believe that if we aren't successful by society's standards then we have essentially failed in life. We grow up with this predetermined plan for our lives because that's the expectation. Go to college, get a high paying job, buy a house, buy a nice car, get married, save money. I've struggled with this as long as I can remember.. The things that make "normal" people happy simply don't fulfill me, their dreams aren't mine. Besides, in 2012 going to college is basically signing up for decades of debt. So the whole full time student at a prestigious four year university isn't exactly financially feasible either.

So what, I just give up? Decide my life is over and that's that? Sounds like a waste of time, and boring too. At this point I've decided that I'm going to live my life however the hell I want. I'm going to make time for the things that make me happy and not waste time on the things that don't. Just because Americans are expected to work 9-5 jobs and work all the time doesn't mean I'm going to if it makes me miserable. Doesn't mean I'm going to go be a bum on the streets. I enjoy being challenged and want a career that reflects that. But I'm keeping my mind open to all kinds of options, I'm not going to live some generic cookie cutter life that results in me thinking about shooting myself as I lay in bed at the end of the day.

All I'm saying is, live life on your terms.

 

[Where Wolf?]

It is pretty much impossible to get a handgun in the UK legally, and there's a five-year mandatory minimum sentence for illegal possession of a weapon, though farmers and people in rural areas can get licensed for shotguns quite easily. I'm a US/UK dual national and a Jew who's spent a fair bit of time in Israel and some in Palestine, where weapons are not exactly hard to come by, and feel ambivalent about the whole issue: as an American, I believe in the right to bear arms for self-defence (not assault rifles with 100-round drum magazines), but from living in Britain I know that the low rates of gun ownership here are reflected in much, much lower rates of homicide, compared to the US, proportionately.

That said, I've lived in London neighbourhoods that were full of gangs and street crime, lots of kids carry knives, some guns get through, from Saturday night specials to ex-Soviet military hardware, and I spent years (got a brown belt in Karate) with a taped-up roll of £1 coins in each pocket just in case: but never had to throw a punch - most would-be muggers back off fast if they swing on you and find that you can block. My bro (also a brown belt, wado-ryu), got jumped by a crackhead with a knife, and managed to disarm him, at which point, said crackhead turned and ran, got knocked down by a strong side-kick to the ass, and my bro emptied his pockets, dumped his rocks down a drain, smashed his phone and told him to stay out of the neighbourhood: wish I'd been there to see it, brother-man looks like an easy target, slight build and artsy/boho, but he's served up a few such surprises in his time, when he had to). Still, one-on-one is one thing: facing a whole gang, even being stared down and assessed as a target by a crowd of rocked-up 18-year-olds on Malt liquor or the alcoholic breeds of cider (dirt cheap) is pretty damn intimidating, and I found myself wishing, more than once, that I could get a US-style carry permit while living in the tougher South London neighbourhoods (Brixton, Peckham).

BUT, the great advantage of tough gun laws is twofold: people don't have the option of just blowing their brains out, and while I do finally believe in the 'right to die', it's not that difficult to find other effective and painless methods, but they take some time to arrange, and that means people have time to think it over and cool off. Plus, most beat cops here only carry batons and pepper spray, so suicide-by-cop and trigger happy police blowing away petty street dealers/bystanders etc is much rarer here. Unfortunately, they've started having regular armed patrols in London, and the specialist gun squads have killed a few civilians in recent years, and tend to skate free, if ever even charged. We have some decent cops here, but a whole lot of assholes, too, high levels of racism in the force, and when there was a hardcore armed police presence on the streets after the 7/7 suicide bombings, they blew away a poor Brazilian electrician - yeah, that's the level of police 'intelligence' here, they thought he was an Arab and therefore a suicide bomber. In short, if civilians could carry guns or even keep them for home protection, all cops would have to be armed, and I have no doubt that a lot of people would get shot (airport cops carry sub-machineguns, though: you see less iron flying into Tel Aviv or NYC than London). We have enough trouble with drunken/coked-up violence, armed and unarmed, as it is: a former Cabinet Minister, asked why the streets of British cities turn to war zones on Friday and Saturday nights, remarked 'well, the English have always been a very violent people', and it's true: Brits with guns isn't a good idea (they colonised and raped half the goddamn planet, after all), and even with the tough licensing systems, there have been a number of shooting sprees/massacres by licensed owners in recent years. Brits don't drink like continental Europeans - they drink to get smashed, and young drunk Brits with guns is a terrifying thought: if there'd been firearms circulating during the riots last year, it would been a bloodbath (of course, the riots started when armed police shot a young black man). I'm not saying that Americans are inherently less violent: but the long-established gun culture does, at least sometimes, teach a caution with and respect for firearms that's taken centuries to build...and frequently breaks down, anyway. If weapons were widespread in certain neighbourhoods/cities here, I suspect there'd be troops on the streets and martial-style law - like Northern Ireland in the bad old days. Armed Brits on 12 pints of lager and a few lines of shit coke would be firing away like the Syrian army. The UK isn't the genteel, civilised country that a lot of Americans think: it's miserable, obscenely expensive, with a burgeoning underclass, serious multi-cultural assimilation issues/racial tension and a fucked-up political system that lets cops run riot. Throw a right to bear arms into the mix and contemporary London would soon become the murder capital of the world, an honour we're happy to leave to Chicago.

 

[DeathDomokun]

It doesn't take much time to arrange a trip to the train tracks mate. It's the most successful suicide method, higher chance of getting the job done than a gun.