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Dealing with friends who make a*hold comments

A

alcoholic333

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 26, 2006
Messages
268
Location
Los angeles
I only have a few good friends and hang out in groups with people alot who I wouldn't call friends more acquaintances. Theres one girl in particular who never has anything nice to say. She will always say shit like oh your haircut is horrible, thats an ugly shirt. Whenever I would be with my ex she would brig up embarrassing things from My past. She always says im her good friend but I'm getting fed up with her.

I usually keep quiet but how do you guys deal with people like that who never have nice things to say, should I insult her back. I know she isn't happy in general which is why she's like that but keeping my mouth shut lets her keep going and I want it to stop
 
Sorry about my typing and errors I only have my phone for Internet

I want to tell her to shut the f up but will make me look crazy for flipping out. Maybe next comment she makes I should say something like "I don't wanna hear what you think" "you know I've never heard you say anything nice" or something like that?
 
Telling someone to shut the fuck up is probably going to backfire, EOtR.

Try this:

DEAR

Describe the situation. Use 1-2 sentences that are factual information and cannot be argued.
Express your emotions. "It makes me feel confused and sad."
Assert your wishes. Make a request. "It would mean a lot if you made an effort to..."
Reinforce her response before she even has a chance to. "Thank you for understanding and helping me work through this."

Plan what you are going to say. It should only take about 6 sentences. Your conscious and objective approach will go a long way. Let us know how it goes!! I promise this works :)
 
Thanks. Next time I see her I'll tell her what's up. Anyone have experiences of dealing with friends who insult you and never have something nice to say?
 
I HAD a friend like that.
She'd say something insulting. I'd deal with it AT THAT MOMENT. "Hahahah look at your haircut" *laughing* So I'd be like "why are you making fun of my haircut? Do you think that makes me feel good? Why would you insult me like that?" I'd just point out ask her WHY she would say something like that. It worked OK.
We aren't friends anymore anyway. I realized her "friendship" was more trouble than it was worth!!
 
pofacedhoe said:
she's not your friend, shes an esteem vampire.

dont hang around her if she's making you unhappy
Click to expand...

That's how I take people like that. I know we all have bad days or have things that aren't fun happen to us in life but there are some people who are so negative, and mean towards others that they want to bring them down to their level.

I know people like this and I only see them a few times a year since they are friends with my good friends, so instead of actually caring about what they have to say that's wrong and mean. I just let them run their mouths and think of what they say as BS or nonsense.

Or it's as you wrote OP about how they don't like themselves so they have to try to trash other people or be vindictive towards everyone.
 
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Insult her back. Pick at the one thing that really bothers her, her weight, her dimples, her hair, etc. Give her a taste of her own medicine. She's not your friend anyway.
 
Sounds like she has her own problems, maybe your seem very cool to her and she is intimidated by this etc etc.

I wouldn't worry about it, just roll with it.
 
I would say..

Hey why are you allways bringing myself and others down to make yourself feel better, you dont suit the bitch act as much as you think you know. Now lets try that again? :)
 
I work in a preschool. An adult working with 5 year olds we are instructed calmly respond to inappropriate statements from children, constructively! Next time she makes a rude statement, ask her nicely "why do you feel that my hair sucks? what could I change to make you happy?" and then maybe explain in a short and fixed response "It hurts my feelings when you say these things about my hair. How would you feel if I reminded you how ugly your hair is" "please, don't be rude. Thanks :) "
 
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