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dating a murder suspect.

pofacedhoe

pofacedhoe

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 5, 2008
Messages
7,080
Location
dreamsville
basically this guy was accused by the dutch police of killing his sister and then got cleared by DNA evidence (so he tells me). anyway i think , wow what a first date bombshell. suppose at least he was honest.

i can find stuff on the internet from old journalist articles saying that he had confessed to it on facebook back in 2011. he even showed me it. apparently he accused his dad but then neither of them showed up in the DNA. he says its given him PTSD. bit of a sad situation. anyways what say you wisdom of bluelight?

he's kind of hot, but mostly has a charming personality. anyhoo its just a lot to take in and make an accurate judgement of. i know of at least one person from my old uni days who was extradited to another country over a crime and if they drag you over the pond and try to send you down they dont mess about (your in prison for fucking yonks) so the fact he's living here in hostel accommodation should be a good sign. apparently he had a good job and house and things were fine then his boss googled him and then fired him from a temp job and it really messed things up.
 
I don't think I could do it, especially if he confessed to it even though he was later cleared of the crime. Employment will definitely be an issue this day in age with the internet, so that is something to consider if things get serious. How would/do you feel about sharing a bed with him?

One part of me says the man has been though enough if he has been falsely accused along with losing his sister, but the other part of me says that it is probably more trouble than it's worth. It's just like dating anyone else with a ton of baggage. It sucks for them that they have to deal with that baggage, but since you have the option of having to deal with or not, nobody would blame you for choosing not to. One thing is for sure, I wouldn't take his last name if you ever get married.
 
2011 was very recently! His sister was murdered, and he was accused by the police? Wow, either he is a murderer, or at best a very traumatised man that is still in the very early stages of healing.

I don't think this relationship is a good idea, and could be very detrimental to your mental well-being in a multitude of ways, and depending on whether he is guilty or not.

IMO: Plenty more fish in the sea, bail out.
 
Take my advice, back away from him and never see him again.
I know my people... I'm diagnosed with aspd, I know for a fact this guy has sociopathic traits.
For the info you've given me, I can assess that he did kill his sister.

If you in fact do choose to stay with him and date him, then don't fall for any of his shit. He will be very charming, and sometimes it will seem impossible for you to say no. Just be on your guard... he will lie to you, a lot. Don't think you can change him, cause you can't. He'll try to play the victim, don't fall for it.
 
It would scare me enough to not date him.
I feel sorry for suspects who are innocent, but it's better to be safe than sorry!
 
Unfortunately, those sociopaths are some real slink SOB's, eh? The hardest part of the whole thing is that the more sociopathic he is, the better he can lie to you (about anything, important and not so much) and not bat an eyelash. Unless, you're really really good at picking up on bullshit, you're in WAY over your head. If you must proceed, please recognize he's going to hold all the cards except the one that says, you split! Good Luck on whatever you choose to do.
 
I would try and do some more research on him before jumping to anything (dumping him, bed ect. ;) put yourself in his shoes, he could be a very nice person that was just put into a bad situation. Say hes telling the truth and u dump him because of it. Imagine how you'd feel. But then again if hes lying... Just do some research and hopefully youll figure it out and things'll work out for the best (either way)
good luck :)
 
Mel22 said:
2011 was very recently! His sister was murdered, and he was accused by the police? Wow, either he is a murderer, or at best a very traumatised man that is still in the very early stages of healing.
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this. if he didn't do it it's still way too soon for a relationship.

eyes on the roll sounds kind of right as well. you already say he's charming, he's blaming his dad (never the victim), he's confessed (why did he confess?), he's told you a massive thing on the first date (to make you feel sorry for poor little old him), his boss fired him (never the victim, if he's innocent then his boss acted unlawfully, maybe his boss did fire him, but for being crap at his job)

etc etc etc.
 
Tude said:
As I always say, "The innocent don't confess."
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I can't say this yet, as I cannot guess what the police put him through, or for how long he was questioned.
Many people have confessed under less than honorable treatment from authorities
 
Unless you're tortured, I just don't see how you'd confess to a crime you didn't commit.
 
Mel22 said:
2011 was very recently! His sister was murdered, and he was accused by the police? Wow, either he is a murderer, or at best a very traumatised man that is still in the very early stages of healing.

I don't think this relationship is a good idea, and could be very detrimental to your mental well-being in a multitude of ways, and depending on whether he is guilty or not.

IMO: Plenty more fish in the sea, bail out.
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well apparently it happened a very long time ago and somehow he was accused then but it didn't go further then he was convinced at one point that his dad did it then he brought it up and accused the dad and that this lead to him being accused last year again and being extradited. apperently both him and the dad were aquitted because there was DNA on the daughter BUT neither of them was a match.
 
Mel22 said:
He confessed on Facebook apparently..
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according to a newspaper quote which i haven't asked him about yet. thats not what he said to me its what the newspaper google search turned up. papers often dont get facts correct so i need to find out in a more accurate and deeper way
 
argentina420 said:
I would try and do some more research on him before jumping to anything (dumping him, bed ect. ;) put yourself in his shoes, he could be a very nice person that was just put into a bad situation. Say hes telling the truth and u dump him because of it. Imagine how you'd feel. But then again if hes lying... Just do some research and hopefully youll figure it out and things'll work out for the best (either way)
good luck :)
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so far this is the most sensible thing i can think of thank you
 
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