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Sugar Babies?

StAy HiGh

StAy HiGh

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 2, 2004
Messages
196
Location
Dark side of the moon
A friend of mine is seriously considering the benefits of becoming a "sugar baby", and finding a "sugar daddy" to support her through school. She works hard, yes, but even after juggling work and school she cant make ends meet and doesnt want to have to chose between one or the other. At first I dismissed the idea, saying it sounded like prostitution, but she went on describing it as a mutually beneficial relationship between two people who mutually respect and help another out through companionship and finances. Apparently there are even websites devoted to helping sugar daddy's find sugar babies and this is a growing trend in society. Young girls dating older wealthy men is nothing new, but now its sketched out in detail as a business relationship. What do u guys think? Has anyone ever been a sugar baby or sugar daddy/mama? is it high end prostitution or do you think its a mutual friendship with benefits equal exchange between two adults?
 
In my opinion... its basically high end prostitution lol. Iv done it before a few times. Just to make some extra $ that i much needed. Although, a few years back, i was in a relationship where i was a sugar baby. And during that relationship, it didnt feel like prostituting. Because we cared for each other. So what im trying to say is if your friend actually finds someone and creates a relationship... then i would say good for her :) But if its more of a let me hit up my sugar daddy every now and then when i need $, then yea, high end prostituting. But its not as risky as prostituting. Just tell her to be careful. Everyone needs help at some point.
 
Make sure she's careful. There are a lot of creepy older guys out there. But I don't see anything wrong with it.
 
Equity in relationships means that each person pulls their own weight. Euphemisms such as "mutually beneficial" and "compensation for time spent" are simply a way for creeps (not even necessarily older or male) to justify being so socially inept that they can't make their own friends; the other 'partner' gets the perceived benefit of a relationship built on deception.

Sex work is one way to pay off school, I suppose. If your friend is pressed for time and money, surely she has considered placing her effort into studying hard to obtain scholarships/grants/other funding? Perhaps that isn't enough in a competitive economy. I like to keep the dollars I earned (not on my back or on my knees) separate from my sex life (on which there is no price). Education is enough of a buzzkill.

It's difficult not to be judgmental about such an issue. I'd explore other options to pay for school before resorting to trading 'time and companionship' with someone I didn't like. I can't put a monetary value on my love.
 
As long as it's not just sex, isn't fleeting, or actually about getting paper, then I ppersonally wouldn't look down on a girl for doing it.

Like staying at the dude's house, accompanying him out, being bought clothes, food, and stuff like that - that's not whoring - that's just saving money by taking advantage of someone's kindness...someone who is totally up for being taken advantage of, because they get something in return. Sex for them is just a bonus.
 
B1tO'RoughJack said:
As long as it's not just sex, isn't fleeting, or actually about getting paper, then I ppersonally wouldn't look down on a girl for doing it.

Like staying at the dude's house, accompanying him out, being bought clothes, food, and stuff like that - that's not whoring - that's just saving money by taking advantage of someone's kindness...someone who is totally up for being taken advantage of, because they get something in return. Sex for them is just a bonus.
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This is a good post.

In my opinion, the girl would be using the guy for money, yeah. But the guy knows it. The guy knows upfront. And the guy is getting something in return. It works out for both of the people.
 
I think of it as a business arrangement, that is mutually beneficial for both parties. I don't disrespect it at all. I was actually considering becoming a sugar daddy. despite my young age I am quite affluent. I wouldn't do it for sex, I would do it for companionship. It feels good to riddle a beautiful girl with gifts and money, and it makes me feel less worse about my dark past.
 
In a world where everyone is whoring themselves out in one way or another--for money, for sex, for sanity--I suspect much of the disdain for this arrangement is simply for its honesty. There must be a reason that literally half the species on this planet are parasites.
 
Its quite interesting to me to see that most people dont automatically dismiss the idea. I agree that if there were to be an actual friendship between the two, in a relationship that gradually progressed, it wouldn't be much different than any young/older and wealthy relationship. Someone asked about grants and loans etc, she did that. Student loans are actually one of the hardest to pay back and even if you file bankruptcy for some reason that debt never goes away. There is a whole big video about it on youtube, such a scam! Sad that times are so tough ppl have to resort to "last resort" type scenarios. Anyways, I still feel torn about the advice to give my friend. She is far from the slutty type and I was surprised she even proposed this idea. I guess if both parties respected each other and built a friendship it wouldnt be the worst thing. Ppl hook up all the time for free lol It is probably better, imo, than stripping where its impersonal and your face and name are out there. It seems more discreet and "Pretty Woman" -esque. Maybe I am naive to say this, but if sex wasn't rushed into and a friendship was first built n if they had a mutual respect for another then maybe it could work as long as neither one of them felt used. Of course theyd both be using each other lol so Idn, maybe two negatives make a positive? I am sure many of the guys are complete creepers and anti-social to the point where they cant attract a woman normally, but maybe some of them are simply lonely and too busy to maintain a real relationship or have been in real relationships and now just want some young fun company. Wealthy women are actually starting to become sugar mamas themselves so this could go either way with men being compensated.

I wonder how much money is involved in these things, or if its more like bills, etc. I heard about this more on the radio as they were discussing websites for this and the girls who called in all said they had positive experiences

Id be very interested to hear if anyone else has first hand experience with this.
 
Most adult relationships after high school and/or college are shit. We can accept that people get divorced and that many relationships don't last... but we can't accept the fact that, generally, after a break up from a supposedly committed relationship that future relationships for the people involved are never really the same.

I've met so many damaged people (and I'm not necessarily excluding myself)...

--

To address the topic though... who gives a damn what two people do.
 
In China, it's totally accepted that women will go for money. It's encouraged and there is even a school for marrying rich. It's ethnocentric to say it's pathetic or whatever. Here in the West, it's the ingrained religious and moral overtones that have been force-fed to us since birth that are at odds with the idea. Thinking about it logically, why wouldn't a woman go for a rich or powerful guy? If a woman wants to have children and have them thrive, it's a no-brainier for her to go for power. I'd like to see someone try to fault her for that without being ethnocentric.
 
I have to go with high end prostitution. And I say this as somebody who seriously considered this herself at one point. I actually got on a website and started talking with several guys. I finally chose 1 I thought I could handle this with. We met and hung out, the only thing remotely sexual that happened was kissing. But I felt sooo dirty afterwards. I had to break it off. The whole situation just reaked of desperation on both ends. In the end it just wasn't worth it to me, I felt like I was degrading myself.

I managed to find a way to work it out legit. I still work, I still go to school and I have 2 kids. Oh yeah, and an ex husband who does not pay child support. Every day is a struggle, I will not lie, but I know in the end I am going to feel better about myself for the way I made it through rather than taking the seemingly easier way. In the end that would not have been easier for me. I would have been giving up on my morals, and would not be an example I would want to set for my own girls.
 
jazz hands said:
In China, it's totally accepted that women will go for money. It's encouraged and there is even a school for marrying rich. It's ethnocentric to say it's pathetic or whatever. Here in the West, it's the ingrained religious and moral overtones that have been force-fed to us since birth that are at odds with the idea. Thinking about it logically, why wouldn't a woman go for a rich or powerful guy? If a woman wants to have children and have them thrive, it's a no-brainier for her to go for power. I'd like to see someone try to fault her for that without being ethnocentric.
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It is different marrying for life than whoring yourself out to make ends meet through school. What happens when you finally graduate, get a good paying job and decide you want a real boyfriend? Do you suddenly retract all those wonderful things you said about your sugar daddy and tell them that they are actually too old/ugly/erectile disfunctional? Relationships are built on trust and honesty, prostitution relys on lying to them or yourself.
 
If a woman marries or gets in a relationship with a guy too above her station she usually ends up getting treated like dirt... eventually. Just sayn'
 
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Busty St Clare said:
It is different marrying for life than whoring yourself out to make ends meet through school. What happens when you finally graduate, get a good paying job and decide you want a real boyfriend? Do you suddenly retract all those wonderful things you said about your sugar daddy and tell them that they are actually too old/ugly/erectile disfunctional? Relationships are built on trust and honesty, prostitution relys on lying to them or yourself.
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Why is the woman have to be lying? From the OP, it seems like both parties are pretty straightforward about what they're after. If a guy is looking for a mother for his future children on a sugar daddy website, he's an idiot.
 
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