Till last month, I was on anti-depressants for the past 3 years for mild-moderate depression. The doctor cycled me through Escitalopram, Sertraline, Duloxetine, Desvenlafaxine, Reboxetine, Amytryptyline, Doxepin, Imipramine, Clomipramine, Desipramine, Pramipexole, Diazepam, Lorazepam, Clonezapam, Mirtazapine, Buproprion and more in various doses and various combinations without any effect. All they did was numb my brain; like applying a topical anaesthetic to your brain.
I didn't realise this earlier but I had the ability to feel happy (although I was depressed) till I started taking Desvenlafaxine 2.5 years ago. By happiness I mean the feeling you get when you accomplish something, seeing your better half, seeing your parents after a long period of time, etc. Now, I can't feel happy. My depression has been resolved (read end of post). My thinking is that since Desvenlafaxine is a SNRI, the norepinephrine inhibition caused too much dopamine to be released in my synapses, causing my receptors to desensitise. I know I am oversimplifying a complex problem, so correct me if I am wrong. But if my thinking is right, how do I resensitise my dopamine receptors?
How I resolved my depression?
My depression had gotten to the point that my doctor suggested Electro-convulsive Therapy. I couldn't feel anything but negative emotions. One day, I literally went to the doctor crying requesting something that will make me feel happy, give me some hope and his idea was to increase the dosage of my meds which hadn't worked the slightest bit in the past three years no matter what the dosage. I decided to take matters in my hands and got hold of some MDMA. I took about 100mg of it and it hit within 10 mins and in 3-4 hours I had epiphanies that resolved my depression. My problem was psychological rather than neurological. I know this was a dangerous thing to do but I was at my wits end. It's been a month, I am off my meds, my mood has been like never before and I feel great.
Now, I am just trying to see if I can help my body heal some of the damage the anti-depressants caused so I can reach baseline and FEEL HAPPY!!
So again how do I upregulate my dopamine receptors?
I didn't realise this earlier but I had the ability to feel happy (although I was depressed) till I started taking Desvenlafaxine 2.5 years ago. By happiness I mean the feeling you get when you accomplish something, seeing your better half, seeing your parents after a long period of time, etc. Now, I can't feel happy. My depression has been resolved (read end of post). My thinking is that since Desvenlafaxine is a SNRI, the norepinephrine inhibition caused too much dopamine to be released in my synapses, causing my receptors to desensitise. I know I am oversimplifying a complex problem, so correct me if I am wrong. But if my thinking is right, how do I resensitise my dopamine receptors?
How I resolved my depression?
My depression had gotten to the point that my doctor suggested Electro-convulsive Therapy. I couldn't feel anything but negative emotions. One day, I literally went to the doctor crying requesting something that will make me feel happy, give me some hope and his idea was to increase the dosage of my meds which hadn't worked the slightest bit in the past three years no matter what the dosage. I decided to take matters in my hands and got hold of some MDMA. I took about 100mg of it and it hit within 10 mins and in 3-4 hours I had epiphanies that resolved my depression. My problem was psychological rather than neurological. I know this was a dangerous thing to do but I was at my wits end. It's been a month, I am off my meds, my mood has been like never before and I feel great.
Now, I am just trying to see if I can help my body heal some of the damage the anti-depressants caused so I can reach baseline and FEEL HAPPY!!
So again how do I upregulate my dopamine receptors?
