Suffering badly with anxiety and panic attacks

[lunae]

Going to see a doctor later on today about it but I was wondering about anyones opinions on this

I badly suffer from panic attacks/anxiety. I am terrified of night time, scared to see certain friends and scared to walk down certain streets. It never used to be this bad, in fact it was quite tame. But on new years, I took a hefty amount of MDMA. I had a panic attack while on the drug which caused me to have a really dark experience. I've since been plagued by what happened, I fear that it's going to creep up and happen again. It's made me feel almost as if I'm going crazy. I've had so many panic attacks because I thought the hallucination was happening again. Is it worth telling my doctor that this has worsened due to a drug, or should I just tell the doctor that my anxiety has worsened on its own?

 

[panic in paradise]

You should be totally honest with your doctor.

 

[Groundhog]

Going to see a doctor later on today about it but I was wondering about anyones opinions on this

I've since been plagued by what happened, I fear that it's going to creep up and happen again. It's made me feel almost as if I'm going crazy. I've had so many panic attacks because I thought the hallucination was happening again. Is it worth telling my doctor that this has worsened due to a drug, or should I just tell the doctor that my anxiety has worsened on its own?

just my opinion..... a sizeable amount of MDMA would have caused this because of the stimulation from the increased Dopamine and Norepinepherine in the brain which caused you to panic. Norepinepherine is the chemical released when your body senses Fight or Flight reaction, it stimulates your senses and Central Nervous System so you can escape imminent danger.

I get anxiety, but not many panick attacks I've used many stimulants so I can pretty much stay calm if I feel overstimulation which is what most people not used to stimulation would start to panick about. I have had it before but not very severe.

My mother has a severe anxiety disorder and is prescribed diazepam for it.
Fear of them is exactly what brings them on, which is what is happening with you. your mind is creating this panicstate due to the FEAR it MIGHT happen. I know this isn't easy to do but try and remember that it is within your mind and that it can be controlled, realistically the hallucination isn't going to just happen, not unless you use more MD. Obviously you were traumatized and its not easy to forget about. Over time you will forget it as long as you remember to realize it's your mind anticpating something that wont likely happen and it will get less and less intense. It's your mind that creates a heightened state of panic the more you worry about it. They can only have the power you give to them. Anyway, I know its not easy when you do start to panic.

Your hallucination won't just come back, I took 2g of pure MDMA crystal in one night and apart from being a complete blithering wreck by the end, I hanever had any flashbacks.
it of time
Be careful what you tell your doctor, if you tell them it was because of drugs it could affect certain prescriptions they may restrict because they think you might abuse it. Tell your doctor if you think it's that bad but I think given some time they should go away. I am not a medical expert just going on my experiences.
:D

 

[weekend addiction]

Ya honesty and doctors appointments is like honesty and dating. It sounds like the right thing to do but it usually ends badly.

 

[herbavore]

I support honesty with your doctor. It is for the benefit of your health and that includes your mental health. Getting on prescription benzos for anxiety and panic attacks is a very slippery slope. There are so many non-drug therapies which can work over time to retrain your mind. Groundhog is right about understanding the need to tell yourself that you are anticipating something bad happening which means that it is a thought in your own mind and not an external reality--and thoughts and thought patterns can be changed with effort. I know that it is difficult (dealing with it myself) but I think getting a referral from your doctor for some CBT counseling might be your best bet.

 

[DasUNO773]

The only real fix is cognitive behavioral therapy, in my learning...

Xanax is a bandaid over the kind of wound that dries and becomes one with the absorbent cotton.

So forget about simply tearing that one off in one quick motion. Seriously though.

I've tried phenibut, various benzodiazepines, various tricyclic antidepressants, Buspirone and recently tried kava.

Lets face it, there is no denying the strength and abilities of some meds, but from what I understand, its well known that the effectiveness of buspar is close to equal with placebo in tests. So, people know how big of a difference mindset makes. The ones I have now are even made to look like bars of Xanax.

Try to find the patterns in your thoughts. Think about the things that you think about before you find yourself feeling anxious. Think about how for every bad thought there is a contrasting good thought. It starts becoming second nature, and that's when you start to fully reprogram your thought process.

Good luck, peace and love to ya...

 

[lunae]

Thanks everyone I decided not to tell my doctor about having had a bad experience on a drug. He prescribed me Propranolol and gave me a website where I can do a CBT course online. So I'm gonna try these out then go and see him in a months time, hopefully all goes well

 

[badfish45]

Are you currently using any other stimulants that could effect this? Have you ever seen this happen before with other drugs? I definitely suggest abstaining from MDMA use in your lifetime as it could do some serious damage to you central nervous system.

 

[xHippiexchildx]

Thanks everyone I decided not to tell my doctor about having had a bad experience on a drug. He prescribed me Propranolol and gave me a website where I can do a CBT course online. So I'm gonna try these out then go and see him in a months time, hopefully all goes well

Your doctor is pretty smart then. Beta blockers should be the first thing given in this type of situation. Propanolol worked wonders for me for 2 years, until I started taking drugs again, which traumatized me and made the beta blocker of none effect anymore. Be warned.

 

[Groundhog]

I support honesty with your doctor. It is for the benefit of your health and that includes your mental health. Getting on prescription benzos for anxiety and panic attacks is a very slippery slope.

You are quite right herbavore, benzos should only be a last resort to anxiety issuses and I didn't mean for my post to reccomend that. In my mothers case, her anxiety and panic attacks are so severe that Diazepam is vital for her to be able to live anywhere near a normal life otherwise. CBT didn't work for her, I'm sure it can for others, but she lived for years hiding these anxiety and panic attacks before she sought medical advice and I think she has done amazingly well living with it even though she needs Diazepam to even consider leaving the house.
Living like that would have crippled me in all honesty, I find things hard enough at times and I don't even experience that level of anxiety although I am anxious in my nature and have a habit of finding something to worry about even if there isn't any!

 

[herbavore]

^ point taken, groundhog! likewise I would never want a medication to be denied to someone for whom there is no other choice; and I know those people do exist. I have a duality in my perspective. On the one hand, I am old enough to have grown up in an era when there were no prescription drugs for anxiety, no antidepressants, etc. Even though I had a level of anxiety that was quite debilitating as a child it was never diagnosed as a disorder as it would be today. People just said that I was REALLY shy and I was left to adapt on my own. (I barely spoke to anyone outside my immediate family). I am very glad that I didn't think of myself having a disorder--that lack of a label I think allowed me to just accept my personality while making adaptations as I went.

However, I had a son that had anxiety that made mine look like a piece of cake. That humbled me and allowed me to see that there are times when it is simply too overwhelming to live with. I still think that everything that can work, like CBT and meditation, biofeedback and mindfulness training, should be attempted before and during the use of benzos. If nothing else, these therapies and practices can change one's whole outlook and approach to life in general.

 

[Allein]

MDMA use in your lifetime as it could do some serious damage to you central nervous system.

Is this just for the OP ?? either way can you provide some reference for this outlandish claim

 

[Groundhog]

^ point taken, groundhog!

Hi herbavore, apologies if my reply came across as though i was trying to make a point, I agree that medication is dished out far too freely these days before any other types of therapy have been tried out first.
I suffer from depression and anxiety and have done for years, I have been prescribed 4 or 5 different types of antidepressants which have all been ineffective, if one doesn't work the doctors answer to it is to just prescribe another. I realise this is necessary in some respect as what works for one person differs from another and that it may take a few attempts to find the best one that suits that person.

I haven't used any antidepressants for years as they had no benefit for me but any time I have mentioned any anxiety or depression issues to a doctor their only answer has been to prescribe more despite my refusal.

I have self-medicated myself with different substances over the years to alleviate my condition which has worked to some extent but has also created further issues, one of them being addiction which I'm struggling with finding a way out of.

 

[Dave]

atm-- There's a fair bit of research that heavy, chronic use can cause longer-term damage, but as always one must read the literature critically. OP said that they have taken a sizable amount of MDMA over a period of time, including having a traumatic experience while on it, so one mustn't discount it out of hand either. What 'sizable amount' actually amounts to, I don't know, but IME some are more susceptible to longer-term issues than others. I do agree that saying 'permanent' is premature, although suggesting that abstaining from MDMA is not a poor one, as it may have acted, in this case, as a trigger.

This, however, is not a thread for the discussion of MDMA. We have a whole other forum for that. OP was asking for advice on how to deal with their anxiety and panic attacks, and while some knowledge on the aetiology of the issue may be helpful, it may also obscure things.

I'd like to echo the CBT suggestion, although with the caveat that 'CBT websites' are to therapy as self-medication is to pharmacology: potentially useful, potentially harmful, but no substitute for the real deal. CBT as a therapeutic method requires a HUGE amount of work on the behalf of the patient, as well as a LOT of face-time with the therapist for training. It is most certainly one of those 'you get out what you put in' types of treatment. I found that EMDR worked wonders for my anxiety, and since it sounds like OP's anxiety can be linked, at least proximally, to a traumatic event, I think that it would be a very useful path to consider.

OP: If you don't know much about EMDR, please drop me a PM and I'll be happy to provide some background. Wikipedia has a pretty good article on it, so you could start there. I would personally recommend against a pharmaceutical intervention, if only because it doesn't serve to fix the cause of the problem, but only masks it.

 

[Survival0200]

I have anxiety issues and I never had any benefit from CBT while being on it for over three years ... So, it's really personal if it helps or not.

 

[Znegative]

I have been experiencing a really unhealthy ammount of anxiety for the past two weeks (ever since my slip with heroin). It has gotten so bad that I feel nauseous, have non-stop diarhea, chills, and sometimes problems swallowing. I've been self medicating it with Xanax and clonazepam (I am prescribed 1mg of clonazepam but it does nothing for me at that dosage). I really need to stop it with the benzo's as I've been down this road before, but I really feel as if my anxiety has manifested in a physical way that is almost unbearable (also, these are not withdrawal symptoms from the heroin, I am back on the suboxone).

I tried to be honest with my psychiatrist about the situation, but she refused to up my clonazepam, and instead recomended "more suboxone" which seems to be her answer to everything, even when I was struggling with cocaine.. It really sucks, I don't want to raise my tolerance again to the point where I'm taking 10+mg of alprazolam or clonazepam a day, so I think I'm just going to have to bite the bullet. I wish I could just feel "normal" though that term means nothing really.

 

[Vaya]

I tried to be honest with my psychiatrist about the situation, but she refused to up my clonazepam, and instead recomended "more suboxone" which seems to be her answer to everything, even when I was struggling with cocaine.. It really sucks, I don't want to raise my tolerance again to the point where I'm taking 10+mg of alprazolam or clonazepam a day, so I think I'm just going to have to bite the bullet. I wish I could just feel "normal" though that term means nothing really.

Hey, Z.
As someone who suffers from bouts of extreme anxiety, as well as someone who's gone through prolonged opiate detox/withdrawal several times and knows the territory as anxiety applies to it, I really suggest not trying to suppress the symptoms with as many benzos as you are taking. Try to examine your lifestyle in the big picture and identify areas where you could or ought to change things, things that would have a beneficial impact on the anxiety. For instance, I could never get a handle on my anxieties (even with tons of benzos) until I got on a solid sleeping and waking routine. I also began supplementing my sleep with melatonin and when I began to wake up with more alertness and confidence, I was able to confront my day with a LOT less anxiety!

Diet and pushups helped me, too.

It's a bitch, though, isn't it??

 

[silentcowboy]

yeah being honest w/ ur doc helps in most situations, this being one of them. it doesnt matter that much...people party

 

[Znegative]

^yeah man, and as always, thanks for the kind words.

I think your right. I tend to focus on the "here and now"- what's not right, what I want, and how what I want I can't get etc etc, and it just makes makes me freak out about the future, as if I'll spend the rest of my life living in my family's home, broke, and obsessed with heroin/opiates. My main problem is finding that motivation to get myself going, to start working on that art piece I want to do, or that story I want to write. Sometimes though, I just got to force myself to start doing it, even if it doesn't come naturally, and work my way into it. I have this idea that I simply cannot succeed without the aid of benzo's, opiates, and amphetamine's and this clearly is not true (ive been sober before).

Plus, in the long run continuing this pattern of using higher than prescribed doses of clonazepam or alprazolam are just going to make my anxiety worse, or actually bring me to a point where I really do need those chemicals to function-something I don't want.

Anyway, tomorrow's a new day!

 

[BluLait]

Going to see a doctor later on today about it but I was wondering about anyones opinions on this

I badly suffer from panic attacks/anxiety. I am terrified of night time, scared to see certain friends and scared to walk down certain streets. It never used to be this bad, in fact it was quite tame. But on new years, I took a hefty amount of MDMA. I had a panic attack while on the drug which caused me to have a really dark experience. I've since been plagued by what happened, I fear that it's going to creep up and happen again. It's made me feel almost as if I'm going crazy. I've had so many panic attacks because I thought the hallucination was happening again. Is it worth telling my doctor that this has worsened due to a drug, or should I just tell the doctor that my anxiety has worsened on its own?

I've had this shit happen to me too.

A few days after I took MDMA, I smoked some weed and I had some sort of a flashback from MDMA. My body was suddenly weightless, moving was efortless, colours were brighter, the world looked like a fairytale and I freaked out.

But then I convinced myself that these things are normal, the flashbacks, especially on some strong weed. So just go with it, don't fight it.

Your problem is worse, though. Because an MDMA experience is a very intense and emotional one, your panick attack has been burned in your memory (serotonin plays a major role in memory, memories are linked to emotions - For example, when you smell something you haven't smelled in a while (like the fresh smell of spring), or you hear a song you haven't heard in a while / especially if your past experience with these smells/songs were happy experiences - you are immediately transported to the state of mind you had when you first heard that song/smelled the smell).

The same thing is happening with your panick attack. Because the bad experiences are now burned in your memory because of your very high serotonin during the MDMA trip, any small thing/trigger that could possibly remind you of your horrible MDMA trip will bring back a flashback/panick attack.

I had the same thing as you. But not on MDMA. I took something like MDPV or something nasty like that. I ended up in the hospital because my heart was at 180BPM (I was having a panick attack, the HR wasn't because of the MDPV). I honestly thought I would die that day.

It was a very traumatic experience and I felt the after-effects of it for 6 months after. I had super-anxiety with anything related to my heart beating fast. Like if I would run up some stairs and notice my heart beating faster (which is normal) I'd start to freak out just a bit, reliving the hell from the day I ended up in a hospital when my heart was beating so fast I was sure it would explode.

Smoking weed made it so much worse, I was paranoid about everything and I constantly thought the weed I was smoking was laced with MDPV.

I had some social anxiety... It wasn't that I wasn't social. I was always a very social person, and I still am. Only that after the MDPV episode, whenever I was with people I didn't know, my heart would beat really fast for a long time, and I would feel a bit nervous and overly-stimulated.

What I did was face my fears, I kept on going to school/going out/doing other stuff that may have caused me anxiety... and with time it subsided.

Now, after about 6 months or so, I am back to normal... The confident motherfucker I've been since before I started using drugs... If I think about it, I'm even more confident and have bigger self-esteem. Maybe it's because I proved to myself that I can overcome my fears

I wish you all the best, I hope that you solve your problem.

Remember, don't lose hope, and have patience... It takes time for your brain to heal itself.
Also, try meditating on the issue and convince yourself there is nothing to be afraid/anxious of. If you do this every day, I can guarantee a result.

About the doctor: I don't know how he could help you. Maybe you should go to a psychiatrist and seek therapy.

What the doctor might or might not do (because you're a drug user), is give you are benzos for your panick attacks. But trust me when I say that benzos are NOT the sollution. Sure, they're a godsend at first, you will feel like you got your anxiety-free life back. But that will only work for the first month. After that you will have to increase the dosage as tollerance builds fast. So more and more, until it will fuck your brain so much, that you will get extremely bad withdrawals when/if you try to quit. You will have even worse anxiety than you had before starting to take them. You'll get addicted to them.

Unless you want to be on benzos for the rest of your life, they are not really the solution for your anxiety.

I'm not saying don't use benzos. They're great. But don't use them more than twice a week or else it's pretty bad. If you're going to use them, try and use them in a situation you feel you will get the most anxiety: Like talking in public or something like that.

The best way to heal yourself is what I've described above and have done myself.