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What do you consider "sex"?

Sweet P said:
Any sexual activity that can lead to an orgasm... sexual intercourse, oral sex, hand jobs, etc. They're all forms of sex to me.
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Hmm... I'm a little surprised so many people have such a loose definition of sex... I get that all those things are sexual and what not, but it seems that to most people, if you say "I had sex with him/her" they are going to think you mean intercourse. I guess it depends on the context of the conversation.

I've even heard people talk about losing their virginity when in reality the most they've done is oral copulation.
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Exactly.
 
If, I was hypothetically asked a question:

"Hey, LL, have you had sex with her?"

My answer (in my mind) would be dependent on the question:

Did or Did Not INTERCOURSE occur?

But, in thinking about it now, I think that that's only the case because that's what the dictionary's and court's and society's definition says it is.

Because, in my opinion, hot steamy encounters, with both partners trying their darndest to get each other off (whether or not they succeed) is FUCKING HOT and most definitely SEXUAL.
 
Shambles said:
Then I presume you would have no issue with your boy/girlfriend giving head to someone when you weren't involved? Good for you. I would be immensely pissed off.
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What does that have to do with anything though?

I wouldn't want my boyfriend being innapropriately flirty with other girls either, but that doesn't mean he would be having sex with them if he did. If the definition of sex is anything you wouldn't want your partner doing with another person, then we need to re-write the whole definition.

Because, in my opinion, hot steamy encounters, with both partners trying their darndest to get each other off (whether or not they succeed) is FUCKING HOT and most definitely SEXUAL.
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Then if someone asked you and the above was the case, without intercourse, you would answer "We didn't have sex but we came pretty close" or "we hooked up".

Anyway, all I'm saying is if you say you had sex with someone, most people are going to take it as intercourse and depending on the context of the situation that could lead to some confusion... I sure as hell wouldn't want some guy who I let go down on me for a few minutes at a party or something going around telling everyone he had sex with me. There is a huge difference, to me, in messing around with a guy and letting him put his dick inside of me... I guess that's why I'm pretty strict with the word.
 
I think that "sex" can be an umbrella term. I believe that mist people think of vaginal intercourse when the word "sex" is said, but for those with different lifestyles, it an mean other things.

I had oral sex with another female, and I consider that "sex", because I feel we had hit a wall sexually. But, if I had blown a guy, I wouldn't consider that sex. *shrug*

must lesbians say "I performed oral sex on her" or "I fisted her"?

as for two gay men, I would think that "sex" refers to anal sex. But, to me, if I'm talking about anal sex, I say "anal sex".

Also, some people consider oral sex to be much more intimate and feel that they are most vulnerable with their genitals in someone else's mouth. Oral requires more trust and intimacy IMO.

It's just a word and it can encompass different acts depending on one's interpretation. Does it really matter if you think their definition is wrong?

Aye! 3 cheers for sex!
 
Shambles said:
Then I presume you would have no issue with your boy/girlfriend giving head to someone when you weren't involved? Good for you. I would be immensely pissed off.
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That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
Like MynameisnotDeja said, 'sex' doesn't just mean - 'what I don't want my partner doing'.

I also think that 'sex' means dick in the vagina (or arse). I don't consider oral 'sex', oral sex yeah, but not sex.
 
I consider deep kissing sex.

But I realize that might seem extreme.

I really really enjoy the act and art of kissing.

...can do it for hours with the right person.

:)
 
Noodle said:
I really really enjoy the act and art of kissing.
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ahhh yes... the lost art of locking lips.. the truest testament to a person's innermost sensuality....

shit kissers = shit in the sack
and that's a universal given

at least you can't say you weren't warned if you go to bed with a horrible kisser!!

seriously though, I can't understand people who can't kiss for shit... maybe I practiced on my hand one too many times as a kid, but really, it's such a basic gesture - what gives?! lol
 
hyroller said:
shit kissers = shit in the sack
and that's a universal given
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My husband is a testament to the very opposite. He is the best lover I have ever had.
I got married at 32 so I can say I am experienced.
He is not a terrible kisser but when we made out the first few times I was not impressed.

If I said I had sex with someone I consider that intercourse. However, oral sex is still sex (sexual act).
 
Well there is penetrative sex and then other "alternate" forms of sex, I mean I don't think many people would argue that lesbians or other partners without male bodied individuals are unable to have sex, so I think the definition is pretty broad, and individually/personally defined. I think that if someone has the idea that penetrative (penis+ orifice) is the only kind of "sex" you can have need to broaden their sexual vocabulary and expression, life can be a bit less mundane if you do so.
 
buuuuuuuuump...

I think sex is anything "penetrating" with more than a finger...

Fisting is extreme sex... Anal is hardcore sex...and fucking someone in their cunt is good ol' fashioned sex.

Like, if someone shoved something up my ass I'd consider I had had anal sex, but not if it was just a finger or 2.
 
Sex is when a penis is inside me lool.
Touching, fingering, give handjobs or sucking him off i just being sexual with eachother but its not intercourse so i dont consider it having it.
 
Its hard question to answer... I'm going to hold on dearly to science and call sex genetic recombination between two gamete cells, or else, gender as determined by chromosomal traits in mammals... Maybe I'll toss Male/Female Vaginal intercourse in there as it enables the whole transfer of genetic material for the sake of producing a new organism.

I'm gonna call the rest sensuality, as it has more to do with the subjective sensations between the participants than it has to facilitating gene transfer or with dimorphic traits dependant on chromosomal factors.

(And no, cosmetic surgery or hormones etc do not change ones sex. The person/organism in question still has exactly the same genetic traits they had before they got a penectomy)
 
lola said:
So I'm curious - do you consider non-intercourse sexual encounters "sex"?
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Yes, non-intercourse intimacies are sex. Justification of anything outside of penis inside of vagina as not being sex is just being in denial. However, there is a more intense degree of vulnerability to allow someone else inside of one's own body. Just different levels of how intimate one is willing to be with someone.

Like how some hardcore christian teenagers will engage in anal sex, because that really isn't having sex, and they are still virgins. 8)
 
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