DooMMooD
Bluelighter
Just thought I'd make a post. After a few years of battling with (the past year or two) a hardcore opiate addiction, I have finally quit. I never injected, but at the end of my run i was doing easily 2-3 opana40s a DAY on average (and even more some days).
I checked myself into detox last week, just got out last sunday. I've been attending NA meetings (daily), and doing a lot to change my life around.
I hope anyone stuck in the opiate life will just try quitting even for a few days. You will notice SUCH A MASSIVE SHIFT in your mental state that it is un-freaking-believeable.
Yes the doctors prescribed me subs, but i take them almost never (on days i feel worried, i'll take 1-2mg just to create a blocking effect so i cant go out and get wasted).
I have noticed SUCH A SHIFT in my self it is unbelieveable and unreal that it can happen on such a quick time frame. I have even had multiple people tell me i simply LOOK healthier and better. I have no real desire to use drugs anymore, and even if i DO slip up this time i know, instead of letting it snowball and saying "oh well i fucked up, might as well keep getting high" like i used to and go out on a bender, I know the right thing to do is get my ass to a meeting right away and start over. I'd rather start over with sobriety than start over with the opiates.
My spirituality has developed. I have been an atheist as long as i can remember but something has just opened up with the end of this long hard road i was traveling. Its unreal what a massive difference opiates make in your way of thinking, reasoning, feelings, just simply every aspect of your physical, spiritual, emotional and mental well being. Un-freaking-real.
I lost a lot because of my addiction. I was on a great path, with a big scholarship to a big highly ranked university. I am on the verge now of flunking out of COMMUNITY COLLEGE because of my addiction. BUT: for once in my life, i'm optimistic! I KNOW i can succeed now, whereas before i not only thought that i couldn't, but i felt i DIDNT DESERVE TO! The universe has put me on the right path, i can feel it. I've been saved from quite a few overdoses, MULTIPLE CAR ACCIDENTS (including totaling 2 cars in the past year, not even messed up sadly, sober) and i just know from all of that that the universe, god, whatever, has a plan for me and i'm finally on the way to fulfill it. I will emerge a stronger person than ever; i'll never go back to the OLD OLD me (before the drugs), or the drug using me, but i'll change yet again. You can never change back to what you were before addiction, but you can change into something positive again.
Change is part of life, and i'm ready for it now. instead of being stuck in doing the SAME THING (waking up at 12noon, rolling out of bed, scoring drugs, using drugs, scheming to get more drugs, doing more drugs, sleep, repeat; every single day), I am looking forward to different things.
Sorry for the long ranty post but its just crazy what a shift in mindset quitting even for a week or two will have on a persons head. Anyone deep down the opiate hole just give it a shot, what have you got to lose? If ya dont like it, the drug life style will always(!) be there for you to return to, but this might be your last chance to give sobriety a shot before you overdose and die. What have you got to lose, a few days of not even being high from opiates? If ya dont like it, the drugs will still be waiting for you to return, i promise.
I checked myself into detox last week, just got out last sunday. I've been attending NA meetings (daily), and doing a lot to change my life around.
I hope anyone stuck in the opiate life will just try quitting even for a few days. You will notice SUCH A MASSIVE SHIFT in your mental state that it is un-freaking-believeable.
Yes the doctors prescribed me subs, but i take them almost never (on days i feel worried, i'll take 1-2mg just to create a blocking effect so i cant go out and get wasted).
I have noticed SUCH A SHIFT in my self it is unbelieveable and unreal that it can happen on such a quick time frame. I have even had multiple people tell me i simply LOOK healthier and better. I have no real desire to use drugs anymore, and even if i DO slip up this time i know, instead of letting it snowball and saying "oh well i fucked up, might as well keep getting high" like i used to and go out on a bender, I know the right thing to do is get my ass to a meeting right away and start over. I'd rather start over with sobriety than start over with the opiates.
My spirituality has developed. I have been an atheist as long as i can remember but something has just opened up with the end of this long hard road i was traveling. Its unreal what a massive difference opiates make in your way of thinking, reasoning, feelings, just simply every aspect of your physical, spiritual, emotional and mental well being. Un-freaking-real.
I lost a lot because of my addiction. I was on a great path, with a big scholarship to a big highly ranked university. I am on the verge now of flunking out of COMMUNITY COLLEGE because of my addiction. BUT: for once in my life, i'm optimistic! I KNOW i can succeed now, whereas before i not only thought that i couldn't, but i felt i DIDNT DESERVE TO! The universe has put me on the right path, i can feel it. I've been saved from quite a few overdoses, MULTIPLE CAR ACCIDENTS (including totaling 2 cars in the past year, not even messed up sadly, sober) and i just know from all of that that the universe, god, whatever, has a plan for me and i'm finally on the way to fulfill it. I will emerge a stronger person than ever; i'll never go back to the OLD OLD me (before the drugs), or the drug using me, but i'll change yet again. You can never change back to what you were before addiction, but you can change into something positive again.
Change is part of life, and i'm ready for it now. instead of being stuck in doing the SAME THING (waking up at 12noon, rolling out of bed, scoring drugs, using drugs, scheming to get more drugs, doing more drugs, sleep, repeat; every single day), I am looking forward to different things.
Sorry for the long ranty post but its just crazy what a shift in mindset quitting even for a week or two will have on a persons head. Anyone deep down the opiate hole just give it a shot, what have you got to lose? If ya dont like it, the drug life style will always(!) be there for you to return to, but this might be your last chance to give sobriety a shot before you overdose and die. What have you got to lose, a few days of not even being high from opiates? If ya dont like it, the drugs will still be waiting for you to return, i promise.
