Best psychedelic for theraputic introspection/analyizing ones flaws

[RhythmSpring]

Is this a "What should I take?" thread?

 

[adamski10]

Damn all i wrote just disappeared

Anyway:

You have PTSD, this must be clear to you (you have been diagnosed by several professionals, and your brain is fine). When this is the case, then an Emphatogen is the way to go. A "real" hallucinogen could really give you a hard time. Maybe even worsen your condition

If you can't get pure MDMA then maybe Methylone is the way to go

When working with theses drugs, then it should not be while out dancing (obviously). Read the link I gave you

There have been so much research done about MDMA and PTSD. It's the right medicine

Under the correct circumstances with someone who knows what the fuck they are doing. The OP (no offence) is in no position to effectively and rationally approach anything close to healthy therapy themselves. Am i the only one that thinks that taking street mdma (i dont care what your dealer says to it'll have something else in it) or any other chemical right now will have any kind of positive effect and may just aggravate your condition. Don't take drugs to sort out a drug induced problem...

Look after yourself man, Get some exercise.

Peace
x

 

[Mitchi]

Is this a "What should I take?" thread?

Yeah, but this won't be closed. This is an important subject
I am interested in hearing about your salvia experience. I've tried smoking DMT but this only gave a short-lived effect. I agree with Mescaline also being very therapeutic, but it lacks the very aggressive push that MDMA has

adamski10: I know what you mean, this is a difficult situation. But hes therapist said he could go on. And this might be because there is no other alternative. This might be the last option. He has tried exercise, and it didn't help him.
But you are right, he needs to approach it as carefully as possible (getting pure chemicals, know what a session involves etc.)
PTSD, I don't think it is something that will disappear by itself, unfortunately.

 

[RhythmSpring]

Yes, MDMA has that "push," which is nice, but also un-grounding. I feel mescaline grounds me-I feel very sane on mescaline, whereas on MDMA, I question my sanity.

Salvia is also a short-lived "psychedelic," but the experience itself is worlds apart from DMT, or any other psychedelic for that matter.

Salvia doesn't play on your emotions like other psychedelics do. It doesn't magnify, it bypasses. I find it the perfect drug for when I am feeling guilty, awkward, unsure, out of it, confused, thought-loopy, ungrounded, etc., not only because it will address WHY you feel those things (almost always unconscious thought processes that Salvia alerts you to), but also because my mindset seems to have no effect on my actual experience with Salvia.

Also, Salvia has a great sense of humor, a cosmic sense of humor that you can learn from when examining yourself. You can laugh at the weird, unfounded ways you think. You can laugh at the absurdity of a situation, or just feel lighter or more relaxed about it.

 

[somedud]

Yeah, but this won't be closed. This is an important subject
I am interested in hearing about your salvia experience. I've tried smoking DMT but this only gave a short-lived effect. I agree with Mescaline also being very therapeutic, but it lacks the very aggressive push that MDMA has

adamski10: I know what you mean, this is a difficult situation. But hes therapist said he could go on. And this might be because there is no other alternative. This might be the last option. He has tried exercise, and it didn't help him.
But you are right, he needs to approach it as carefully as possible (getting pure chemicals, know what a session involves etc.)
PTSD, I don't think it is something that will disappear by itself, unfortunately.

Your right i've exhasuted alot of routes. I've tried SSRI's, they aggrevate me and make me kind of anxious, but they help a bit. I'm sure that long term use would cause a set of problems on its own, so I discontinued my use.

Like I said my therapist along with many doctors agree its C-PTSD, as i've developed some crazy beliefs/mis-trust for people and the world in general, it's very cold now. It lost it's warmth, and any comfortable feeling it once had to it.

MDMA seems like the perfect culprit for my symptoms, yet it also seems to be the perfect medicine aswel, i'm just scared of the fact that all this could be DUE to MDMA, and that using again would make my condition worse, which I couldn't exactly bare. I spend almost all my conscious effort analyzing my own thought process and comparing it to what it use to be, and if MDMA makes it worse i'll tear myself up over it.

But the reason I believe its due to MDMA is because my average consumption of MDMA in the last 5 year has been appx 45 experiences, and about 110 pills. So that last summer "binge" of rolling twice a month for about 4 months could have been the "end of the line" so to speak for my brains resilience to MDMA. Mind you I never tested my pills, and 90% of the time I was drinking when I rolled, but on the other hand the begining of last summer I was the happiest i've EVER been, I was happier than any person I knew, as well as VERY VERY sharp, witty and intelligent, so I don't know if my past use really influenced me that much.

Either way, i'd love to feel emotions again adn get past this anxious block thats keeping me out of touch with the world. As well as get my brain back ti being able to process things, it's like ive lost the ability for logical thought, you know. Like deep processing. My thinkings rather impulsive as I can't actually think, if I try my mind just stays blank. It's hard to dicpher if its from damage (because I feel damaged) or PTSD.

EDIT: I would like to add that I was (besides last summer) pretty responsible about my usage and it was very spaced out over those 5 years, due to being in school. Never rolled consecutive nights besides a few times and never consecutive weekends, usually spaced out by months during the school months, and usually 5 times a summer.

And if it means anything, I remember taking LSD a few weeks after my binge and it never affectd me very much, its like I never had enough thoughts to manipulate, and weed has lost ALL its euphoria, even now.

 

[Mitchi]

Yeah, it's pretty bad that you are scared of the possible cure. Taking a drug one is scrared of can't have much benefit. Gotta work that out first.
I just read the Methylone has been made illegal? Anyway you might want to look into 5-apb then. But I'm not 100% sure... I don't think, however, that pills with amphetamines, piparazines and a few mg. MDMA could have much healing effect

RhythmSpring: How was your dosage and ROA, regarding salvia?

 

[bighooter]

aMT all the way simply because it is so beatufiul and very hard to have a bad trip yet it takes you on a journey through your mind and how everything works i.e conversation, body language, etc

 

[QuasiModo]

I once took like fuckin 12 good smackers (ecstasy pills) in a night. I was so alarmed by the lasting after effects that I told my family and we went to group therapy sessions as well as one on one sessions with me and a therapist. I know how you're feeling, I can imagine it would have felt much worse if I had lost a loved one that night.

I have to second those who are recommending discipline rather than trying to abort the problem with drugs. I was sober of everything, voluntarily for around 6 months after this experience.. My depression really hadnt relented until sometime last year, this made for a 3 year span of slowly overcoming the depression.. I've done psychedelics and other drugs in this span of course but it wasn't until I felt absolutely ready, or absolutely fed up with sobriety. Sincerely though, give it a rest. Take a nice long break from altering your consciousness, this depression will not last forever unless you choose to cover it up and hide from it as opposed to working through it. Please, whatever you do DO NOT become addicted to Benzodiazepines or other pharmaceutical "medications". If you go down that path you are engaging in enabling behaviours which will result in a lifetime of blunted emotions..

Clear your mind for a while, accept that your brain tissue is no more damaged than anyone else's and that your emotions will heal in time. Exercise and proper diet will help certainly, the real healer is time.

 

[QuasiModo]

Yeah that's what a guy who's feeling burnt out emotionally needs.. Brand spanking new RESEARCH CHEMICALS! Yeah.. Exactly what he needs.

might want to look into 5-apb

 

[TheUncreated]

I would recommend 2c-e, psilocybin, LSD, or methoxetamine. 2c-e and acid seem to have less of an emotional push than most psychs, allowing for a neutral, insightful self-analysis. Mushrooms, for me, are very emotionally and spiritually therapeutic/euphoric, while MXE is my personal favorite dissociative for mind-exploration, as has similar ability to Ketamine in terms of bashing your brains in, but does it over a longer, smoother, more subtle ride

I hope it helped, and good luck on the recovery.

 

[TheUncreated]

Actually, I will also add 2C-T-2 to my list there. Almost shroom-like in its emotional euphoria for in my experience, though many people seem to get some markedly unpleasant body load with it, so start low if you do and take anti-nausea countermeasures.

 

[Black Octagon MK 2]

Yeah that's what a guy who's feeling burnt out emotionally needs.. Brand spanking new RESEARCH CHEMICALS! Yeah.. Exactly what he needs.

+6billion

FFS you crazy people, this is a harm reduction site, and yet people have recommended:
- MXE
- cannabis
- MDMA
- salvia
- musthrooms
- LSD
- peyote
- DMT
- ibogaine
- various antidepressants
- various RCs

This should make it crystal clear that there is NO CORRECT drug for the OP's situation.

OP: As (disturbingly few) people have already said, you should take a long break from all drugs! If your brain is as fried as you're saying, and if not 1 but 2 professionals have diagnosed you with PTSD, then I think you should try coming to terms with sobriety. I am a huge supporter of psychedelic research for PTSD victims, but that world is VERY far away from self-medicating, especially on the advice of people on a site like Bluelight.

If you feel like you HAVE to take something (and I still don't think you should), I think you should try a very LOW dose of mushrooms. A psychedelic may help you tap into yourself enough to deal with the issues underlying your emotional state. But a genuinely low dose should hopefully avoid having a mind-fuck of a bad trip (and even if a bad trip happens, at least it will be mild). Further, mushrooms last only 4 hours and have effectively no comedown. But again, my advice is still DON'T DO IT.

P.S., some of you people seriously need to think before giving advice to people who are in genuinely bad ways.

 

[spocksing]

i think mushrooms because of the religious nature from it.. curiousity.. knowledge and introspectation maybe. i mean jesus was a mushroom.. but remember, i think, that duringthe trip if you are heading in a direction you dont like, stick it out and try to become it. feel it. dont succumb to the trip and believe horrible projections. and have hope that you will come through. just because it is a bad trip, it wont be bad effects lasting from it, if you pay attention. i think u might be able to distance yourself from that awful overwhelming feeling you have had.

 

[phatass]

i would say LSD and shrooms are the best for therapeutic introspective analysis... allthough sometimes i've tried to analyse things on LSD and it just became more complicated, but some times i've had revelations on solo LSD trips... i've never tried ayahuasca (DMT) but i've heard that is also great for problem solving, if you go about it in a serious ritualistic way

 

[TangerinO]

Well the reason more drugs were suggested is because that was his question. Not to mention he's being feeling this way for 14 months, if I read correctly.

If you insist on doing drugs to get over this problem, mushrooms will get you back into touch with your emotions, although I find they're scarily emotional for me. That being said you really should exhaust ALL other options before you put more of anything into your system.

 

[somedud]

UPDATE:

So, two nights ago I decieded to roll again, on some pure tested MDMA. It was very fine white powder and pretty fluffy, not rocky or crystaly. Anyways, I done about a .2 and felt very relaxed, calm and pretty peaceful. Not full blown euphoric, and at points kind of down about myself/my situation.

I didn't really have much to say, i just kind of listened to other people and went along with what they said, and my mind couldn't seem to keep up with people that were talking too much. But generally I felt good, didn't have any rush of thoughts (I guess cause it was pure/not cut with any uppers) and it seemed to lack alot of empathy, but I guess thats because I was too wrapped up in my problems than other peoples. But I did notice during that experience, that i'm having almost like an exstintenial crisis. Like I don't know who I am, or what niche I belong too, like I never had a personality thats why I never said much. As for damage protection I took a TON of vitamin C, alpha lipic acid, vitamin E and fish oil. About 30 g, 4.0 g, 5.0 g and 1.5 g. Followed by 60 mg of prozac and some 5 HTP.

I slept pretty fine, and when I woke up the next day, I went home and on the way home with my mother and sister, I started crying my eyes out, and I kept crying over everything for a good 4+ hours. Everyone was worried, but I was really happy that I actually felt something again. I havn't cried like that in as long as I can remember. Todays the second day, and I still feel kind of drained, but I don't feel any worse for ware, physically or mentally. I feel a strange calm, and rather depressed, but thats better than complete numbness. No anxiety really, but the blank mind if still here.

I did come to a conclusion while I was rolling, that I need to go deeper, much deeper, and really get down to the bottom of this thing, and sort of reclaim myself.

So I think since this trip calmed me down a good bit, I might be able to go ahead and try some acid or preferably mushrooms in a few months and see if I can "find myself".

So thats my update, hopefully in the next few days, while I get over whats left of my comedown, that I might make some kind of miraculous recovery, but only time will tell.

 

[medical_meccanica]

I slept pretty fine, and when I woke up the next day, I went home and on the way home with my mother and sister, I started crying my eyes out, and I kept crying over everything for a good 4+ hours. Everyone was worried, but I was really happy that I actually felt something again. I havn't cried like that in as long as I can remember. Todays the second day, and I still feel kind of drained, but I don't feel any worse for ware, physically or mentally. I feel a strange calm, and rather depressed, but thats better than complete numbness. No anxiety really, but the blank mind if still here.

I am an fantastic crier. Got it down pat. Sometimes I can cry for a long time and it feels like all the despair I have felt from emotionally traumatic experiences is being pushed out of my body in tears and noises. I think there is such thing as healing tears. Congratulations on getting in touch with some emotions that seem to be quite painful. It can be a really good step. Although I can sometimes do this on my own, it is usually with the help of loving, supportive friends in a calm and safe context. I think the reason for this is that there is a part of me that wants to hold back in case 'something bad' happens when I unleash the anguish. Maybe this is why the presence of your mum and sister was part of the setting that enabled you to open up. Maybe it would be good to spend some more time with them, especially if you can communicate to them that crying might be good for you and that it would help for them to be present but not worried.

I find writing down my thoughts regarding these emotions really helps me get to the bottom of these experiences.

So I think since this trip calmed me down a good bit, I might be able to go ahead and try some acid or preferably mushrooms in a few months and see if I can "find myself". I did come to a conclusion while I was rolling, that I need to go deeper, much deeper, and really get down to the bottom of this thing, and sort of reclaim myself.

I have found psilocybin particularly good for therapeutic purposes. I've had one experience in particular where it felt like I was able to expertly conduct a psychotherapy session on myself (I am experienced in the process of psychotherapy). My hunch would be that IF you choose to explore these issues with psychedelics, it would be best to have very clear (perhaps written) intentions, a cautious dose, and nobody else around. The reason for the solitude is that you might otherwise focus on your relationships with those people (as it sounds like you were doing on MDMA a couple of nights ago). If you're interested in your own stuff (which is VALID!), give yourself space to explore yourself, not your social interactions with specific people. You don't want to be worrying about how much or little you are saying.

If you're worried about going solo, then find someone like your mum, sister, or close friend, and ask them to call or text you at a certain time (AFTER THE PSYCHS WILL HAVE WORN OFF). That way you know you will have someone who will get in touch with you, and you can just let them know you're OK, or ask them for help if you need it.

All the best, man. Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to.

 

[bighooter]

Magic mushrooms are the perfect drug imo for defragging the internal hard drive (brain), after a solo session with shrooms I usually feel alot hapier and more chilled out with life and worry alot less about the stupid rat race society we live in,

 

[somedud]

I'm not worried about going solo. I've been going solo throughout my life the past year and a half, and it feels like an eternity.

That's the problem, my main one, that I cannot connect/peer into another persons mind. I use to have a great emotional/intellectual understanding of what other people meant/felt/said, but now i'm oblivious.

Probably because i'm too warped into my own head. I was thinking LSD, because I remember reading that LSD makes things "novel" again, which is exactly what I need. I see certian people, and they mean nothing to me, only a certian few who can eitehr benefit me, or my ex.

Everyone else is just a pawn.

I basically need to rediscover my emotions, once I have my emotions back, the whole social spectrum should fall back into place. But would eating mushrooms alone accomplish this, or would it be better to take with someone close to me?

Then again, MXE did some good things when I took it by myself, but I need to learn how to act/interact with people again, instead of being this empty shell.

it's like i'm stuck in this disociative state 24/7, not feeling attached to my mind or body. I just want to feel grounded like a real person again.

 

[ColtDan]

MXE and DMT have benefited me massively. DMT gave me massive outlook on the "big picture" of life, and opened my mind, and MXE did the same but the opposite way, made me realize and be more comfortable with myself. hard to explain but very useful benefitical tools if used correctly, with respect