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Concerns regarding MDMA use & panic disorder.

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mimosa_loading

Greenlighter
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Jan 6, 2019
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Hello all. I'll try to keep this short. I greatly appreciate anyone that takes the time to read this and give me their opinion.

I had my first panic attack at age 18 during a period of my life where my friends and I were experimenting with a lot of different drugs. A few weeks prior I had a terribly frightening psilocybin trip that I suspect was the catalyst to my panic attack. After that, I stopped using all drugs besides marijuana. I then began a nasty habit of taking clonazepam, a benzodiazepine (that wasn't prescribed to me), every single day. It gave me a lot of rebound anxiety, I was having panic attacks on a daily basis. This was a very difficult period of my life and I felt miserable constantly, sometimes thinking "I would rather be dead than have to continue living like this." so I quit taking that after about a year per the advice of my therapist, and my panic attacks slowly faded away over the next 6-12 months.

This was half a decade ago, and my life is much more normal now. I am naturally a somewhat anxious person, but I have not had a panic attack in years and I am, for the most part, satisfied with every other aspect of my life. I have a fairly nice job with great benefits, an amazing girlfriend, supportive friends and family, and an active social life.

I go out clubbing with friends pretty frequently, and all we do is drink alcohol and occasionally use marijuana. But recently I've been considering using MDMA again. My best friend has been wanting to try it and I think it would be great fun to join him. It was my favorite drug back when I was experimenting, and I miss the way it made me connect with friends and how it made music sound.

My concern, however, is that a single use of MDMA will somehow pull me back into that daily panic that I used to experience years ago. I did some research and found this study that scared me a bit: http://www.maps.org/images/pdf/1992_mccann_1.pdf

To summarize, it describes the case of a 23 year old that developed panic disorder shortly after a single use of MDMA, with no family history of mental disorder or any conflicts with other drugs. It is my understanding that serotonin is at least partially responsible for the suppression of panic and anxiety.
There is also the classic "monkey study" that shows a grievous reduction in serotonin present in the cerebral cortex after a massive dose of injected MDMA: https://d14rmgtrwzf5a.cloudfront.net/sites/default/files/serotonin_present.jpg

So my question is this: should I be concerned about being afflicted with panic disorder again if I decide to use MDMA again? I plan on testing all my stuff and never dosing more than ~100mg. I will only consider using it once or twice a year with neuroprotective supplementation. Is there any risk here? What if my serotonin levels are still really low from using 5+ years ago? I would immensely appreciate any kind of input and would be happy to answer any questions that may be relevant. Many thanks in advance. Big thanks to Bluelight for being such an awesome resource for people.
 
Yes there is a risk. It's a low risk but it's still there.

personally I'd just avoid it. You already sound anxious about the possibility of it (evidenced in your extreme measures to try and ensure it doesnt happen, paired with having experienced it before and fearing it may return). The only way to make sure it doesnt happen is to not do mdma.
 
You already know the answer but i'll say it again: don't do it, the risk isn't worth the few hours of additional fun
 
I agree with the others. The three of us have been afflicted or currently going through a long term comedown from MDMA.

I have heard that others who have experienced the same can develop a rebound LTC from taking it again.
 
Dont do it, there are people who can take hundreds of pills and never have a problem and some people that end fucked up from 3 or 4 experiences, dont use it to begin with if you are scared of the possibilty, you are already predisposing yourself to have a shitty experience and to imagine all kinds of fucked up shit after the experience.
 
The exposure of this drug to the brain can change your life in this regard. I have had Panic Disorder for 6 years. I am really addicted to xanax now and probably going to die from it.

I am not sure if mine is connected with my past use (it is in some way, as all things are) - but you don't want to have this shit. If you had a panic attack at all, I wouldn't even smoke most pot I would avoid drugs altogether after having a panic attack.
 
I would rather not. I've developed panic disorder from using MDMA 4 times.
 
Metoo. You can greatly minimize it by maximizing the comfortable environment, ie. being around those you trust, in a homely room with plenty of room to dance without any negative posters or depressing background noises.
But personally, I screwed myself up greatly. Even though I don't get panic attacks, my paranoia and reclusiveness has increased since having a bad MDMA trip. It sucks. Be careful.
 
Thank you for the input, everyone. As much as I really wanted to do it again, I've decided against it. Really not worth the panic again, despite how amazing MDMA can be. Thanks again. @ShroomySatori I wish you luck my friend, benzo addiction is very very difficult...the paradoxical anxiety is intense, but the addiction can be overcome. Be safe.
 
I agree with everyone and I have some personal experience to share: I know someone that has a drug-induced panic disorder (from spacecake). 9/10 times she rolls, she has a panic attack sometime during the roll. It has made her quit. As you already said yourself, it is not worth it. It can trigger and even worsen panic disorders, do not take that chance, you might be lucky but you might just as well require extensive and long therapy after a particularly bad experience if you're unlucky
 
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