mimosa_loading
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2019
- Messages
- 2
Hello all. I'll try to keep this short. I greatly appreciate anyone that takes the time to read this and give me their opinion.
I had my first panic attack at age 18 during a period of my life where my friends and I were experimenting with a lot of different drugs. A few weeks prior I had a terribly frightening psilocybin trip that I suspect was the catalyst to my panic attack. After that, I stopped using all drugs besides marijuana. I then began a nasty habit of taking clonazepam, a benzodiazepine (that wasn't prescribed to me), every single day. It gave me a lot of rebound anxiety, I was having panic attacks on a daily basis. This was a very difficult period of my life and I felt miserable constantly, sometimes thinking "I would rather be dead than have to continue living like this." so I quit taking that after about a year per the advice of my therapist, and my panic attacks slowly faded away over the next 6-12 months.
This was half a decade ago, and my life is much more normal now. I am naturally a somewhat anxious person, but I have not had a panic attack in years and I am, for the most part, satisfied with every other aspect of my life. I have a fairly nice job with great benefits, an amazing girlfriend, supportive friends and family, and an active social life.
I go out clubbing with friends pretty frequently, and all we do is drink alcohol and occasionally use marijuana. But recently I've been considering using MDMA again. My best friend has been wanting to try it and I think it would be great fun to join him. It was my favorite drug back when I was experimenting, and I miss the way it made me connect with friends and how it made music sound.
My concern, however, is that a single use of MDMA will somehow pull me back into that daily panic that I used to experience years ago. I did some research and found this study that scared me a bit: http://www.maps.org/images/pdf/1992_mccann_1.pdf
To summarize, it describes the case of a 23 year old that developed panic disorder shortly after a single use of MDMA, with no family history of mental disorder or any conflicts with other drugs. It is my understanding that serotonin is at least partially responsible for the suppression of panic and anxiety.
There is also the classic "monkey study" that shows a grievous reduction in serotonin present in the cerebral cortex after a massive dose of injected MDMA: https://d14rmgtrwzf5a.cloudfront.net/sites/default/files/serotonin_present.jpg
So my question is this: should I be concerned about being afflicted with panic disorder again if I decide to use MDMA again? I plan on testing all my stuff and never dosing more than ~100mg. I will only consider using it once or twice a year with neuroprotective supplementation. Is there any risk here? What if my serotonin levels are still really low from using 5+ years ago? I would immensely appreciate any kind of input and would be happy to answer any questions that may be relevant. Many thanks in advance. Big thanks to Bluelight for being such an awesome resource for people.
I had my first panic attack at age 18 during a period of my life where my friends and I were experimenting with a lot of different drugs. A few weeks prior I had a terribly frightening psilocybin trip that I suspect was the catalyst to my panic attack. After that, I stopped using all drugs besides marijuana. I then began a nasty habit of taking clonazepam, a benzodiazepine (that wasn't prescribed to me), every single day. It gave me a lot of rebound anxiety, I was having panic attacks on a daily basis. This was a very difficult period of my life and I felt miserable constantly, sometimes thinking "I would rather be dead than have to continue living like this." so I quit taking that after about a year per the advice of my therapist, and my panic attacks slowly faded away over the next 6-12 months.
This was half a decade ago, and my life is much more normal now. I am naturally a somewhat anxious person, but I have not had a panic attack in years and I am, for the most part, satisfied with every other aspect of my life. I have a fairly nice job with great benefits, an amazing girlfriend, supportive friends and family, and an active social life.
I go out clubbing with friends pretty frequently, and all we do is drink alcohol and occasionally use marijuana. But recently I've been considering using MDMA again. My best friend has been wanting to try it and I think it would be great fun to join him. It was my favorite drug back when I was experimenting, and I miss the way it made me connect with friends and how it made music sound.
My concern, however, is that a single use of MDMA will somehow pull me back into that daily panic that I used to experience years ago. I did some research and found this study that scared me a bit: http://www.maps.org/images/pdf/1992_mccann_1.pdf
To summarize, it describes the case of a 23 year old that developed panic disorder shortly after a single use of MDMA, with no family history of mental disorder or any conflicts with other drugs. It is my understanding that serotonin is at least partially responsible for the suppression of panic and anxiety.
There is also the classic "monkey study" that shows a grievous reduction in serotonin present in the cerebral cortex after a massive dose of injected MDMA: https://d14rmgtrwzf5a.cloudfront.net/sites/default/files/serotonin_present.jpg
So my question is this: should I be concerned about being afflicted with panic disorder again if I decide to use MDMA again? I plan on testing all my stuff and never dosing more than ~100mg. I will only consider using it once or twice a year with neuroprotective supplementation. Is there any risk here? What if my serotonin levels are still really low from using 5+ years ago? I would immensely appreciate any kind of input and would be happy to answer any questions that may be relevant. Many thanks in advance. Big thanks to Bluelight for being such an awesome resource for people.