Detox Brutally detoxing again

[EPL1]

Good morning aihfl,

Glad the ambien put your lights out. We are rx's benzo's for sleep here, not ambien. Sounds like that's a better choice for sleep. However now that there's this war on drugs political bullshit no one on painkillers is ever allowed a benzo rx. The world's getting crazy.

You sound like me, I had the ceiling fan cranked last night and a fan in my window, can't sleep without them. but they're so damn loud!! And local stores here are sold out of AC'S!! Wtf!!???

Happy you're feeling better than yesterday.

Hugs,
Ash.

.

I was also on a clonidine patch but while I was sober for seven months, it actually made my blood pressure too low, so my doc took me off it. I'm on the max dose of lisinopril at 40mg/day. I'm on three antidepressants so I have no sex drive anymore, which is just as well. I haven't been in a relationship in over a year so I haven't had sex with the exception of an ill-advised one night stand.

I went to bed around 10:45 last night, tossed and turned for about an hour. Knowing I had to be at work this morning at 8:30, I broke down and took an Ambien. Whoa. Lights. Out. Before you even know it. It worked even faster than a benzo. One of my problems getting to sleep is that I feel overheated when I first get into bed. During the warmer months, I have to fall asleep with a fan blowing on me, then I wake up in the middle of the night freezing. I'm curious if anyone else has this pattern because all my other significant others including my ex-wife have the opposite pattern where they go to bed cold and wake up in the middle of the night overheated. The doc said it could be a thyroid problem and ordered the appropriate blood tests but they came back normal.

Anyway, still a bit groggy this morning, but otherwise feeling better than yesterday so far.

 

[Stargazer]

Hi A-

Magnesium gives a calming feeling? What brand and dose?

Glad the Ambien works for you! I have tried it and either had no effect on I take off all my clothes and go to leave the house.

Another thing I've been meaning to ask you- what about Epsom salt baths make them so great? Im interested in trying it out from reading your posts. Thanks

 

[aihfl]

Hi Ash, yeah this war on drugs is getting ridiculous. I posted about my issues with getting my gabapentin script filled. It's ridiculous because I've heard of people taking insane doses of gabapentin by itself with no ill effects. It's only dangerous when it's used to potentiate another downer's high. It strikes me as kind of odd though that docs in your area would Rx benzos for sleep. I always get admonished by my psych doc that Ativan is not for sleep and then he warns me if I become habituated to it, the rebound insomnia that will occur. But that's sadistic that you can get a script for a benzo just bc you've been on pain meds. Conventional wisdom says I shouldn't be prescribed benzos either, but my doc knows that if I didn't have that option, I would definitely drink. He says he has been in practice a long time (he's in his 60s) and he knows drug seeking behavior when he sees it and he has heard me say nothing that indicates that I am seeing him strictly for the drugs. Furthermore, he told me that my thing is alcohol and if I want to "go into the darkness" as he put it, I'll just go to a liquor store, not call his office for a prescription.

Sorry to hear that you haven't been able to put your hands on an AC unit yet. I actually like the fan noise and I play some sort of white noise video on youtube, usually rain, while I'm asleep. Anyway, I am well rested today and feel a lot better than yesterday. That brain fog was awful. Going to try to hit a meeting tonight.
Our daily storms came early today and it's overcast now, so hopefully we'll stay south of 90 today. It's 78 right now and it's very unusual for the temp to be that low in Florida at this time of day.

Hi A-

Magnesium gives a calming feeling? What brand and dose?

Glad the Ambien works for you! I have tried it and either had no effect on I take off all my clothes and go to leave the house.

Another thing I've been meaning to ask you- what about Epsom salt baths make them so great? Im interested in trying it out from reading your posts. Thanks

The magnesium I'm taking is Nature Made magnesium oxide 250mg but Somni takes magnesium citrate. I don't know if there's any difference in effect but maybe get a small bottle of each and try each one. I already take a multivitamin in the morning that has 100mg magnesium so I went with the lower dose for the supplement. Oh and Epsom salt is magnesium sulfate and apparently it can be absorbed through the skin. It's just makes you feel really really relaxed and content. I'm not one for taking baths, but when I do take an Epsom salt bath I will stay in the tub for upwards of 45 minutes it feels so good.

Lol about the Ambien. After I read the insert that came with the pills, I was kind of nervous to take one, but I woke up in bed, not behind the wheel in a fast food parking lot, so I guess it's ok for me

 

[tjmothy]

Let me start off by saying that all my scripts are taken PRN so I don't take them very often. I've only taken Ambien a handful of times, but it works very fast for me. Benzos are great for sleep too but leave me a bit groggy in the mornings. During all my detoxes (opiates) Ambien has been a great sleep aid. Good luck with the rest of your detox!

 

[aihfl]

Good evening SLers. Today was a mostly good day. I did make it to a meeting, and I managed to have a conversation with my mother that didn't devolve into a shouting match. And I got some grocery shopping done (picked up some Georgia peaches in the produce section).

I'm passing the 96 hour mark, so I think the worst of the acute WD is over. My psychiatrist always told me I was blessed with a "strong constitution" that I was always able to recover from drinking binges relatively quickly and complication (tho unpleasant for sure) free. But speaking of my psychiatrist...I'm really bugged at him at the moment. I got a call from the Publix Pharmacy today that they can't fill my Adderall script (dropped off the Rx Wednesday) until they talk to him because of a potential interaction with one of my ADs (doxepin). They said they've been calling his office and finally they called me to tell me to call his office, which I did late this morning...and as of this evening he STILL hasn't called them back.

Anyway, I think I'm going to head off to bed early so I can get up at 3:30am to see the launch of the Parker Solar Probe. We can see launches from the Cape, 40 miles away, pretty clearly here and on a moonless night, it should be really clear. NASA is sending a probe to study the Sun's atmosphere and maybe scientists can figure out why the Sun's atmosphere is hotter than it's surface. It will be the closest mankind has been to a star, ever. Pretty neat. I might even stay out and see if I can catch sight of any meteors if I make it out of bed at that ungodly hour.

 

[EPL1]

Good morning a.


Wow way to go, you're passed the 96 mark now, what an accomplishment my friend!!



Happy to hear you had a nice chat with your mother, life is so much easier that way. Plus, they won't be around forever, and although we may not have the perfect relationships with them, they're ours and we'd still miss them.

Hope you get the rx thing sorted out, it's always something right!!??

Did you see any meteors after all last night?

Did you have a good sleep, how's your day going so far?

Here for you anytime,
your friend,
Ash.

Good evening SLers. Today was a mostly good day. I did make it to a meeting, and I managed to have a conversation with my mother that didn't devolve into a shouting match. And I got some grocery shopping done (picked up some Georgia peaches in the produce section).

I'm passing the 96 hour mark, so I think the worst of the acute WD is over. My psychiatrist always told me I was blessed with a "strong constitution" that I was always able to recover from drinking binges relatively quickly and complication (tho unpleasant for sure) free. But speaking of my psychiatrist...I'm really bugged at him at the moment. I got a call from the Publix Pharmacy today that they can't fill my Adderall script (dropped off the Rx Wednesday) until they talk to him because of a potential interaction with one of my ADs (doxepin). They said they've been calling his office and finally they called me to tell me to call his office, which I did late this morning...and as of this evening he STILL hasn't called them back.

Anyway, I think I'm going to head off to bed early so I can get up at 3:30am to see the launch of the Parker Solar Probe. We can see launches from the Cape, 40 miles away, pretty clearly here and on a moonless night, it should be really clear. NASA is sending a probe to study the Sun's atmosphere and maybe scientists can figure out why the Sun's atmosphere is hotter than it's surface. It will be the closest mankind has been to a star, ever. Pretty neat. I might even stay out and see if I can catch sight of any meteors if I make it out of bed at that ungodly hour.

 

[aihfl]

Hi Ash, I stood outside for half an hour but the launch kept getting delayed and delayed and finally I just went back to bed because I knew the delay was going to cause them to miss the 65 minute launch window. They're going to try again for this morning at 3:30 again but I don't have to work tomorrow so sleep is less of a concern. Too much ambient light in the city to see meteors. I'd have to drive out of town to see meteors.

No, the prescription still isn't sorted out. I looked on the Publix Pharmacy app and it still says "in process."

My mother is the only family member that is still alive, but she was physically abusive when I was a small child and continues to be psychologically abusive at times. There's many years worth of resentment there. She is now in her early 80s and she is not going to change. Part of what I am working on in therapy is that she is what she is. If I can accept that, it keeps me from having to let her toxicity and dysfunction affect me.

Today is a good day so far. I'm telecommuting from home today and I'm so glad I went grocery shopping yesterday. I've missed having my favorite Jewish breakfast of bagel and lox.

Hope everyone has a good one.

 

[EPL1]

Well that just sucks, no meteors and no rx!!! Lol, hopefully they get their asses in gear and you can get it today.

Oh I'm sorry to hear that about your childhood, my mother was the same way, she's really a defensive person to this day, so I try not to talk about much so as to avoid conflicts.
You're so right, it is what it is. I look at my past as sort of a cautionary tale, of how I don't want to be. I think this has made me a much more kind, caring and judgment free person. So some good can come out of the bad.

Have a great breakfast my friend, here if you need anything.

Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.

 

[Stargazer]

Thanks for the information. I could talk for hours about motherly damage.

Sounds like you had a very productive and enjoyable day. That's really good news.

 

[aihfl]

Good crazy early morning SL. Stayed up to see the Delta IV rocket carrying NASA's Parker Solar Probe go up, and I saw a huge shooting star to boot. More meteors tomorrow. Time for an Ativan and bed since I'm semi-delirious at this point.

 

[Stargazer]

Well alright aih! That's really cool. I've never seen anything like that.

Hopefully you're sleeping well right now. You've come a long way in the past few days. I know how difficult it is to get back on the horse. Good job

 

[EPL1]

Good morning aihfl!!

That's sounds SO awesome!! You have the day off today right? Ya get some rest, how are you doing otherwise?

Here if you need anything but you've got this, you're doing an amazing job!!

Much love and support to you,
your friend,
Ash.

Good crazy early morning SL. Stayed up to see the Delta IV rocket carrying NASA's Parker Solar Probe go up, and I saw a huge shooting star to boot. More meteors tomorrow. Time for an Ativan and bed since I'm semi-delirious at this point.

 

[aihfl]

Living so close to the Cape, I am a geek for all things space and am an annual pass holder for Kennedy Space Center. The Parker Solar Probe is being sent to study the sun's corona and try and unravel why the corona is several million degrees hotter than its surface, a scientific mystery so far. It's named after University of Chicago physicist and astronomer Eugene Parker who first theorized the concept of the solar wind. Unless someone figures out how to figure out a way around Einstein's "universal speed limit" of the speed of light, it's likely that this is the closest we'll ever get to a star.

Anyway, just got back from a shopping run at Costco but I didn't buy much. I don't know if I said this earlier, but my old sponsor is having his foot operated on, so I am staying with him next week while he recuperates so he has someone to prepare meals and do chores while he can't get around. So there's no point in stocking up on a bunch of stuff. Costco on a Sunday afternoon is so crowded and full of rude people that it just makes me want to punch someone in the nose. And the gas line is straight out of 1977. After I got to the pump though, I saw why. $2.54 when everywhere else is $2.79. A quarter a gallon is pretty significant. Time to unwind with some Netflix.

 

[EPL1]

You're lucky to live so close to the Cape, that's really cool.

Costco. I went last Sunday, strolling along when someone rammed the back of my heels with their cart and they looked genuinely pissed that THEY ran into ME!!

Living so close to the Cape, I am a geek for all things space and am an annual pass holder for Kennedy Space Center. The Parker Solar Probe is being sent to study the sun's corona and try and unravel why the corona is several million degrees hotter than its surface, a scientific mystery so far. It's named after University of Chicago physicist and astronomer Eugene Parker who first theorized the concept of the solar wind. Unless someone figures out how to figure out a way around Einstein's "universal speed limit" of the speed of light, it's likely that this is the closest we'll ever get to a star.

Anyway, just got back from a shopping run at Costco but I didn't buy much. I don't know if I said this earlier, but my old sponsor is having his foot operated on, so I am staying with him next week while he recuperates so he has someone to prepare meals and do chores while he can't get around. So there's no point in stocking up on a bunch of stuff. Costco on a Sunday afternoon is so crowded and full of rude people that it just makes me want to punch someone in the nose. And the gas line is straight out of 1977. After I got to the pump though, I saw why. $2.54 when everywhere else is $2.79. A quarter a gallon is pretty significant. Time to unwind with some Netflix.

 

[hikfromstik]

Good to see your doing good. We watched the meteor shower Friday night . We saw some very long streaks across the sky . Imagine the material used to shield that space craft from the sun .
I'd change pharmacy if I was you . These corporate pharmacies are over protected.

 

[aihfl]

They had a segment on the news about the probe. The heat shield is four inches of pure, solid, carbon. I was thinking about driving out of the city where there's less ambient light tonight to see more meteors, but I've been up stupid late for two nights in a row to see the rocket launch (they missed the first launch window due to technical glitches). I saw a long one literally 10 seconds or less before I could see the rocket going up, which was pretty cool.

It's not the pharmacy's fault - it's the psychiatrist's for not responding to them (or me, for that matter). But I'm not going to bitch about him because he's otherwise a great and understanding doctor. Plus my lisinopril and most antibiotics (and diabetes drugs too) are free at Publix Pharmacy.

 

[ladyhlove]

Glad to hear you're back on the wagon and feeling alright.

Why do they have you on adderall? Do you have add/adhd? I was diagnosed ADD when I was 5, which I think was an incredibly bad diagnosis (they said I was too distracted to do my school work...I wanted to play and talk to my classmates instead...ya know. I WAS FUCKING FIVE!!!) because adderall jacked me tf up. It worked and I got my schoolwork done because they put a child on fucking speed, but I don't think it was bc I was add. I stopped all add meds when I got out of my parents house and I've made it through life relatively fine without them. Taking them for so many years made me absolutely hate uppers...which is great bc cocaine is everywhere around me in my social group and I rarely, if ever, touch it. I was just curious as to why they want you on it now. What prompted the decision?

Hope you can stick with it! Alcohol does such horrible things to the body. Curiously, what kind of shape is your liver in? Alcohol isn't my DOC by any means, but I worry sometimes about the heavy drinking I did throughout most of my 20's...even though I drink very moderately now. I know it all depends on the person and their body chemistry...that someone can drink for 60 years and be fine or another can drink for 10 and have cirrhosis.

 

[aihfl]

Yes, I have a formal diagnosis of moderate ADHD (albeit about 40 years after I should have had one). I have always been a bit of a scatterbrained space cadet and when I was in elementary school a lot of times I would just sit and daydream instead of doing the things I should have been doing. Of course in the early 1980s there was no such thing as ADHD, you were just a bad kid. And I was the kid that was always separated from my peers, whether it be at a desk in the corner or next to the teacher's desk. Now that I've been a public schoolteacher and have taught education at the college level, one thing we now always stress to future teachers is NEVER separate a kid from their peers.

In January 2016, I got a diagnosis of alcoholic hepatitis while I was in detox, and that scared me enough to stop drinking for about a year and a half and the symptoms subsided and liver function tests returned to normal. Then in September 2017, I was almost arrested for assault over something really stupid and that sent me into on-again-off-again binges. I'm going to give it 30 days then go back in for bloodwork to see where my liver function is.

In other news of my life, my cunt (sorry ladies, I really hate using that word in mixed company) of an ex wife is trying to steal my dog. She came and got her while I was out of it and is now insisting the dog is hers. I'm picking the dog up while I'm staying with my old sponsor while he's recuperating from surgery and I'm sure as fuck not going to give her back to her. I'm having a locksmith come over and change the locks. This is the second dog she's stolen from me and I'm not going to stand for it. I feel like a real fucking tool for letting myself trust her again. The first dog she stole from me, I told her I was coming over in a few days to get my dog, and the next day she files a restraining order that was completely fabricated to keep me from doing it. Why must every woman I've ever been involved with be a fucking psycho???

 

[ladyhlove]

Sorry to hear about the dog. I thought you and the ex were good friends now? I understand how that goes, though, the off and on good terms thing..I'm like that with my ex of 8 years (not married, but might as well have been). He also took our shared dog. When we broke up, I had to move since he owned the house we lived in and I wanted to take the dog with me (which he gave to me..."And take your fucking shitty dog too" were the exact words, actually...) but I had issues finding somewhere affordable and close to my work (i had no license at the time, so I had to walk or rely on atl's horrible mass transit service) that would let me have her and it was damned near impossible for find somewhere that fit all that criteria. I asked him to take care of her for me for a few months while I worked on getting my license back and could move into a place that allowed her and he agreed....only to tell me I couldn't have her back a couple months later when I had worked everything out. I got "visitation" with her for about a year, until he got into a new relationship. Now he's married and my beloved doberman has a new mommy. That ex and I are on good terms now but that ship has sailed....I saw her for the first time in years a couple months ago and she just walked up to me (I was crouched) and silently put her head on my lap and started crying. It made me cry. Even the ex was shocked...normally she jumps up and down with excitement when people come over, but not for me....she genuinely remembered me...and fucking cried. Ugh. Gets me misty thinking about it. I have a new dog now, but nothing can replace my baby girl. Sigh

So...needless to say, I hope she doesn't take it. What's the law on shit like this, btw? I had a friend who's ex stole his dog and, even though he had all the paperwork for the dog in his name, the police wouldn't do shit and he never got the dog back. Don't know if there's no laws or police just don't give a fuck about animal issues.

Also, my name (first and last) sounds a LOT like the word cunt (probably can figure out my last name now) so I've been called cunt since kids new what cunts were. So please...don't worry about saying it. I enjoy the word, personally..one of my faves actually lol. I say it a lot and forget sometimes how offended some people are by it.

 

[EPL1]

Good afternoon my dear friend!! ( me waving) ; )

Yes, I have a formal diagnosis of moderate ADHD (albeit about 40 years after I should have had one). I have always been a bit of a scatterbrained space cadet and when I was in elementary school a lot of times I would just sit and daydream instead of doing the things I should have been doing. Of course in the early 1980s there was no such thing as ADHD, you were just a bad kid. And I was the kid that was always separated from my peers, whether it be at a desk in the corner or next to the teacher's desk. Now that I've been a public schoolteacher and have taught education at the college level, one thing we now always stress to future teachers is NEVER separate a kid from their peers.

In January 2016, I got a diagnosis of alcoholic hepatitis while I was in detox, and that scared me enough to stop drinking for about a year and a half and the symptoms subsided and liver function tests returned to normal. Then in September 2017, I was almost arrested for assault over something really stupid and that sent me into on-again-off-again binges. I'm going to give it 30 days then go back in for bloodwork to see where my liver function is.

I think that's a great idea, I'm sure it will be so much better now, (LF) you're doing so well!

In other news of my life, my cunt (sorry ladies, I really hate using that word in mixed company) of an ex wife is trying to steal my dog. She came and got her while I was out of it and is now insisting the dog is hers. I'm picking the dog up while I'm staying with my old sponsor while he's recuperating from surgery and I'm sure as fuck not going to give her back to her. I'm having a locksmith come over and change the locks. This is the second dog she's stolen from me and I'm not going to stand for it. I feel like a real fucking tool for letting myself trust her again. The first dog she stole from me, I told her I was coming over in a few days to get my dog, and the next day she files a restraining order that was completely fabricated to keep me from doing it. Why must every woman I've ever been involved with be a fucking psycho???

That is such a shame, a lot of people are so spiteful and love to play games, you don't need any part of that.

Very smart, I was just going to suggest changing the locks but you're already on it. Don't let her get to you, sounds like she's very controlling and vindictive. Don't let her get your dog. Sad she's already done this once.

You are onto bigger and better things aihfl, Very proud of you you know, all you've accomplished, you're killing this quit!!

Hugs,
here if you need anything,
your friend,
Ash.