I had my appointments today. Got put on ativan 1mg a day and 300mg Wellbutrin xr a day. I feel it's a good start. It's at least some relief that I'll have benzos when I need em instead of resorting to self harm or suicide.
The counseling was a little more contentious. She seems to think vivitrol is a wonder drug when I know it's not. Like I can see the wisdom in tapering off sub but I'm just not sure if I am there yet in my head. It gave me alot to think about.
In my heart of hearts I don't feel I'm ready to be off maintenance but I am also so ready to move on with my life. It's starting to seem like I have only a limited number of options and they all suck. So I'm going to start the first part of the sub taper. Getting down to 8mg a day. That's going to take a month I imagine. I'm going to start trying that and then reaccess when I get there.
I'm going to close this thread as it has run it's course. But before I go I would like to ask a favor. If anyone knows a halfway house or sober living that will take a client who's on Suboxone let me know in a pm. It doesn't matter where it is. I figure there has to be one somewhere