What a great analogy herbavore! Thats how I feel and perhaps CBT would be helpful. I think I do need to re train my brain to deal with not using. That being said I have been still trying to regulate on suboxone-. Things are getting bad financially and I can not afford to keep using. Also, I feel like a failure as a dad and a husband. I know those feelings arent gping to help me but I still do... I wish my love for my family was enough to get me to stop but it isnt even though it should be. At any rate I need to go to work now...thanks for reading.